A Texas Holiday Miracle (12 page)

He sat at her table and she placed a steaming mug of coffee and a plate of something chocolaty in front of him.

“It’s fudge. I made it last night. Taste it.”

“Am I a guinea pig?”

She took a seat with a gleam in her eyes. “Maybe.”

“Mmm,” he mumbled, munching on the sweet treat. “You’re getting this cooking thing down.”

Her eyes twinkled even more. “Thank you very much. Now, if I could just get Emma to believe in Santa again...”

“You have about three weeks before the kids at school will get excited and she will, too. You just have to give her time and don’t push, but I don’t think you hear me when I say that.”

Lacey fiddled with her cup. “I try, but I don’t know. Emma’s very adamant. She’s lost her father and now Santa has been taken from her. I can sense her stubbornness and anger, and I worry about that.”

“Anger is not a good thing to live with. After Zack died, I was filled with rage. I took a hammer and beat that four-wheeler into a million pieces. Even that didn’t stop the fury building in me. I snapped at everyone, and when I almost hit one of my colleagues for laughing in my presence, I knew I had to get away. I threw some things in a bag and started driving. The next thing I knew I was in Horseshoe.”

He took a breath, hardly believing he was sharing that awful time.

“Did you tell your wife?”

He ran his finger over the handle of the cup. “Two weeks after the accident she moved in with her brother and his wife. She blamed me and I blamed her, but our marriage had fallen apart long before the accident. She was busy building her career and so was I. Zack was our only common interest.”

“I’m sorry.”

“See.” He slapped his hand on the table, jarring the coffee in his cup. “You have me talking even when I don’t want to.”

“You do want to talk. That’s why you’re doing it. And it’s long overdue.”

“I suppose,” he admitted, and wondered why it was so easy to talk to her.

“Did you come to Horseshoe to visit your sister?”

“I guess that was my destination, but I wasn’t thinking about it consciously. Turns out I wasn’t ready for all her smothering and sympathy. I love her, but I just couldn’t handle it at that time. I slept in my truck until I saw a house for sale. I made the deal and the next day I moved in. The sofa and table were already here, and that was all furniture I needed. The sofa was my bed for a long time until I finally broke down and bought a mattress for the old iron bed in the bedroom.”

She reached out and clasped his hand on the table. Her hand was so fragile compared to his, or at least it looked that way. Fragility disguising an enormous strength.

“I’m so happy you’re doing better.”

“Yeah.” He entwined his fingers with hers, her softness soothing against his calluses. “You’re there for me and Emma. Who’s there for you?”

Her green eyes clouded for a moment. “The people of Horseshoe have been very nice to us.”

“How about your mother?”

“She was angry that I had accepted the responsibility of Emma and tried to persuade me to send her to Mona’s sister in Midland. I couldn’t do that, so I handled it alone. When dad died, Emma and I came home and we sat in his recliner and fell asleep. We stayed there the whole night. She cried. I cried. She clung to me like a leech and was afraid for me to get out of her sight. The following weeks were really hard trying to hold it together. But time moved on and people came by and brought food, visited and offered their condolences. We made it. But we’re not quite there yet.”

“You’re amazing. Do you know that?” A smile curved her lips, and he watched it transform her into a beautiful, irresistible woman.

“And a little crazy?”

“I’m beginning to really like crazy.”

Silence stretched, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was that of two people dealing with their emotions and enjoying the moment of having someone who understood. Someone who cared.

Chapter Twelve

Lacey could hardly wait for Emma to see the house. She’d turned on the lights before she left so Emma would see them as they drove up.

For the school Christmas program, the first graders were going to sing carols. Today was their first practice, and she’d thought Emma would be all excited because she loved to sing. But when she got into the car, she was somber and quiet. Lacey asked her a few questions but then stopped. Emma was clearly annoyed about something. The house would cheer her up, Lacey was sure.

Emma crawled out of the car and then stopped as she saw the lights. Her face scrunched into her trademark frown.

“What’d you do that for?”

Lacey unlocked the front door. “Because it’s Christmas and Santa has to be able to see our house.”

“There is no Santa, Lacey. Sometimes you make me mad.”

Lacey bent down to her level. “Sometimes you make me mad, too. So there.”

“Daddy puts the lights on the house. And you’re not Daddy.” Emma shot toward her bedroom, the backpack in her hand.

Lacey’s heart took a jolt. She’d screwed up. She sank onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands. Gabe had told her to take it slow and not to force Emma. She should have listened. After a moment, she walked down the hall to Emma’s room. Emma lay curled into a fetal position, the backpack still looped around her arm. She faced the wall, away from Lacey.

Needing time, Lacey went to her room, pulled out a couple of parenting books and tried to figure out how to make this right again. The message was clear: never force a child, be patient, be understanding, be supportive, ask their opinion, let them share their feelings, love them and let them know you love them.

She laid the book on the bed. Gabe was right. Lacey was doing what she wanted, not what Emma wanted. Damn! How could she have screwed this up so badly? She took a deep breath and went to Emma. As she removed the backpack from Emma’s arm, Emma turned over. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red from crying. Lacey could hardly stand it. She willed herself not to cry. But hurting Emma took a toll on her.

“I know I’m not Daddy, but I’m doing the best I can.”

Emma flew into her, wrapping her arms around Lacey’s waist and crying into her chest. “I’m...sorry I was mean to you. I’m sorry...”

“Shh.” Lacey stroked Emma’s hair and then lifted her sister into her arms. She sat on the bed with Emma in her lap. “It’s okay. Stop crying.”

Finally, Emma’s wails ebbed.

As Lacey held her sister, it occurred to her that Emma’s reaction was over the top. When Lacey had gotten the tree and put up the wreaths and other decorations in the house, Emma had complained, but not paid much attention to what Lacey was doing. Today was different. She thought about Emma’s reluctance to talk earlier.

“Sweetie.” Lacey brushed hair away from Emma’s face and removed the bow that was hanging loose. “Did something happen in school today?”

Emma rubbed her face against Lacey shirt. “No. Why?”

“You’re very upset.”

Emma played with Lacey’s watch. “I told Bailey about Pepper and Daddy, and that I sent Daddy a message with Pepper when she went to heaven, and Bailey said—” Emma hiccupped “—she said...that dogs can’t talk and Pepper couldn’t give Daddy my message. Now Daddy doesn’t know I love him.” Emma buried her face in Lacey’s chest and sobbed.

So that was it. Unknowingly, Bailey had taken away Emma’s happiness. Lacey reached for Emma’s chin and pulled up her face.

“Daddy, Pepper and Zack are in heaven, and heaven is a beautiful place where everything is perfect. There’s only one voice, whether it’s a person or an animal, and it’s understood by everyone. Pepper’s probably licked Daddy’s face, his hands and his feet in excitement to give him your message. Daddy knows, sweetie. He knows. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different. You tell them to talk to your big sister, and I will set them straight.”

Emma sat up, her eyes like big shiny marbles. “They’re in heaven.”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Emma threw her arms around Lacey’s neck. “I love you.”

Lacey’s heart melted into a drippy mess. “Love you, too, sweetie. Please talk to me when you have a problem, or when someone tells you something you don’t understand or when you’re just sad.”

“’Kay.”

“Now I’m going to fix supper. Wash your face and then you can go tell Gabe supper will be ready in a few minutes.”

Emma jumped off her lap and ran to the bathroom. Lacey made her way to the kitchen, feeling a little better. Actually, she felt a lot better. Finally, she was getting this parenting thing down—at least until the next crisis.

* * *

G
ABE
PULLED
OFF
his gloves. A couple more days and he’d have the backyard clean again. Emma came through the gate and jumped up the steps on the deck, and then slid into a chair.

“Hi, Gabe.”

“Hi, kiddo.” He sat in the other chair and waited for her to speak, because obviously she had something on her mind.

She scooted to the back of the chair, her feet dangling over. “Do you believe in Santa?”

“I did when I was a kid. It was the most exciting time of the year. I couldn’t wait for Christmas morning to see if I’d gotten everything I’d asked Santa for.”

“I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but you’re an adult, right?”

He suppressed a smile. “Yeah.”

She leaned toward him and whispered, “Santa’s not real. Our parents put presents under the tree.”

“How do you know that?” He knew the answer, but he wanted her to talk about it. It might help Lacey in her quest to get Emma to believe in Santa again.

“Brad Wilson told me and Jimmy, and it’s true ’cause I asked Lacey and she doesn’t lie.”

“Is that why you’re sad?”

Emma kicked with her feet. “My friend Bailey told me that Pepper couldn’t tell Daddy my message, because dogs can’t talk. That made me sad, and then I told Lacey she wasn’t Daddy and she shouldn’t have put up the lights.”

Lacey had worked so hard on the lights. He wondered if she was over there crying. That bothered him. He didn’t want her to be sad. He had to restrain himself from running to her. First, he had to talk to Emma.

“Did you apologize?”

“Yeah. Lacey said that Daddy, Pepper and Zack are in heaven, and in heaven everybody understands each other ’cause it’s heaven.” She raised her hands palms up to emphasize this miracle. “Lacey knows everything.”

He agreed with that wholeheartedly. Lacey was wonderful.

“So why are you sad?”

“Lacey wants me to believe in Santa again, but I can’t.”

He scooted his chair closer. “Why not?”

“’Cause he’s not real.”

“You believe in heaven and you don’t know that it’s real.”

Her eyes narrowed. “It is real. My daddy is there.”

“Belief is a powerful thing. It can lift our spirits, get us through bad times and work miracles. You just have to believe sometimes. You have to trust. You believe that heaven is there because you have to know that your daddy is in a better place. I believe, too, because I have to know the same thing about Zack. I’m going solely on belief.”

She looked at him, her green eyes wide. “So Santa could be real?”

He shrugged. “If your belief is strong enough, anything is possible.”

Suddenly, her bottom lip trembled and he tensed. “I’m too little to know this stuff. I just want my daddy to come back.”

Gabe reached out and lifted her into his arms, trying not to let his emotions overtake him. “I want Zack to come back, too,” he said, his heart tightening in pain, but he had to go on for Emma. “But there’s a difference between reality and belief. And yes, you’re too little to understand that. So we’re not going to be sad because Lacey would be very upset with us.”

Emma rested her face against his chest, and he held her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. He was beginning to believe she was. He’d thought no one could ever touch that part of him that belonged to Zack. But like her sister, Emma was working her magic on his heart.

“Oh.” Emma sat up. “I forgot. Lacey said supper’s ready.”

“Then we’d better go. Maybe she’ll dance for us.”

Emma giggled. Still holding her, he stood and carried her back to her house, enjoying the feel of a child in his arms again.

Lacey was making a salad. She was cutting a tomato with more force than necessary. It was obvious she was upset.

“Go wash your hands, Emma. Supper is almost ready,” she said.

Emma darted off and Gabe went into the kitchen, grabbing Lacey’s arms from behind, stopping her chopping motion.

“What’s wrong?”

She laid the knife on the cutting board and turned in the circle of his arms. “I’m getting everything wrong. I can’t seem to do anything right concerning Emma. I keep causing her more pain.”

“She told me what happened.”

Her teary eyes opened wide. “She talked to you?”

“She told me what her friend Bailey said about Pepper, and that she’d hurt your feelings and she was sorry.”

“You were right. I should stop all this Christmas stuff and just let her celebrate the way she wants. But I...”

He pulled her into his arms. She rested against him, and a warm glow settled around his heart. “Just take it slow. That’s all you have to do. She asked me about Santa, and I think she’s opening up to the idea. Just give her time. But prepare yourself for the fact that she may never believe in Santa again.”

“I think I’ll take down the lights tomorrow.”

“Not unless she asks you to. I think I might have to explain what
slow
means.”

She raised her face with a smile, and everything was right in his world in that moment. “I don’t think it’s in my vocabulary.”

“I don’t think it is, either.” He turned her toward the hall. “Go take a hot bath and relax while I put supper on the table.”

“I can’t. I’m in the middle of making a salad.”

“Go. I can finish.” He gave her a gentle push and she went.

A moment later, Emma came running back. “Why is Lacey taking a bath? Did she get dirty?”

“We’re giving her some time alone, so that means you have to help me.”

“I can! I can!”

She was eager to help, and they had the table set and all of the food on it by the time Lacey made her appearance. That tired, sad look was gone from her face. The resilient, vibrant Lacey was back.

“Look, Lacey, we did supper, ’cause we love you.”

Love.
Time stood still for Gabe. Love was something he hadn’t thought of because he had been unable to give it anymore. And he hadn’t wanted to lead Lacey on. Or Emma. He was getting too involved, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt them.

After supper, he quickly made his exit. That might have been the coward’s way out, but he needed time to think about what was happening with his feelings.

* * *

S
INCE
IT
WAS
Friday and there was no school the next day, Lacey pulled out the bag of crafts she’d bought, and she and Emma made stretchy bracelets for Emma’s friends. Some had beads and some were just plain, but the important thing was that Emma was happy again.

As Lacey crawled into bed, she wondered why Gabe had left so quickly. He had been in a good mood earlier and as sweet as he could be. She smiled at that description. The grouch had turned into a sweetie. She curled up in bed and it hit her.

’Cause we love you.

She sat up. That was it. Gabe was afraid she was taking his attention for more than it was. The silly man. They were both holding on by their fingernails, and neither was ready for a serious relationship. Couldn’t he see that? Silly, silly man. Tomorrow she would set him straight.

* * *

T
HE
MORNING
DIDN
’
T
start well. Lacey burned the toast again and the smoke alarm went off. Emma covered her ears until Lacey knocked it off the wall. Gabe rushed through the back door.

“Lacey did it again, Gabe,” Emma said.

“It’s the toaster,” she told him.

He shook his head. “You do know they sell those.”

She stuck out her tongue. He ignored her and opened the kitchen window. “Seriously.”

“Sit down and I’ll fix breakfast.”

“I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I have work to do.”

“You have time to eat eggs and toast.”

He glanced at the trashcan. “It’s burned.”

“Oh, please. Like that’s never happened before.” She inserted more slices of bread.

“You have to watch it, Lacey,” Emma said.

“If someone would stop distracting me, I could.”

“I couldn’t find my shoes.”

In minutes she had toast and eggs ready for them. Gabe ate. Emma went to put on her shoes and Lacey slid onto Emma’s stool.

“You know, I expect a marriage proposal for this.”

His head jerked up.

“Do you really think I’m ready for a relationship? Or that you are? That’s what you thought last night when Emma said y’all loved me, didn’t you? You thought I wanted more from you than you’re willing to give.”

“More than I can give.”

“I know that, Gabe. So please don’t think I’m searching for a wedding dress on the internet.”

He smiled and her heart lifted. “You’re always surprising me.”

“Sometimes I surprise myself.”

Emma charged in. “I’m dressed,” she announced.

Gabe slid from the stool. “I’m stacking wood to make a fire outside, and this afternoon we can do hot dogs and s’mores. My treat, since you’re always cooking for me.”

“Can I help you, Gabe? Please,” Emma begged.

“If it’s okay with your sister.”

“Go, but please mind Gabe.”

“I will.”

Lacey expected him to go out the back door, but instead he went into the garage, got the ladder and put the smoke alarm back up.

“If you’re not careful, I will be looking for that wedding dress,” she whispered for his ears only.

He winked and ushered Emma out the door.

Lacey sighed and leaned against the cabinet, vowing this day would be a good day and sadness would take a break.