A Time to Move On (6 page)

“You quit?” Jerry asked. “Are you
serious right now?”

“I am. I’m not who you think I am.
I can't become who you want. Sorry.”

“Sorry? Yesterday was the biggest
damn meeting we’ve had in years. And where were you?”

“Truthfully? I stopped for coffee. Then
I went to my sister’s house and visited my infant niece.”

“Well, isn’t that just nice. Good
for you.”

“I’m sorry,” Laura said.

She turned and started to walk from
the office. She put her hand to the door and Jerry called her name. Laura
looked back and Jerry had a hand in his pocket.

“I’m a fool for doing this,” he
said. “But maybe it’s the pressure of it all. I’ve done a lot of meetings like
that before. You haven't. I should have helped more. Let me take the hit on
it.” Jerry pulled money from his pocket. “Take this cash and go for a ride. Get
a bite to eat and clear your head. Got it?”

Laura smiled. “Thanks, Jerry. But I
don’t need that. I don’t want your money. Or the job. It’s too hard to explain.
Thanks for giving me the chance.”

Laura opened the door and rushed
out of the office before Jerry could say anything more. She went to her office to
clean out her personal belongings and realized all she had to prove it was her
office was her name plate on the desk. There were no pictures or half colored
drawings to take down. Laura's gut wrenched and she ran out of the building as
fast as she could. Without even thinking, she jumped in her car and started
driving. Just like she did every time she quit a job.

Quitting her job had become so
normal that it really didn’t bother her. Like Steph always teased her about,
she had been born with a natural ability to live day to day. She somehow always
got by and enjoyed life. That's how she met Jon while waitressing. He was
enamored with her care free spirit and they hit if off right away. He was a
bartender with good looks and a wicked good smile. He was super nice and really
smart. He was finishing up law school and less than a year later, he would
forever trade the bar towel for a briefcase. However, their adventurous dates
and weekend getaways stopped when she got pregnant. Suddenly Jon didn't see
Laura becoming his wife. He said she didn't have any idea what she wanted out
of life, and he didn't want their child to be a reason to force a marriage and
a life that neither of them wanted.

Still, the good guy he was, Jon
continued to be there for Laura throughout the pregnancy, and vowed to always
take care of their child. He even made plans for a 'workable living situation'
for when the baby arrived. For when
Ella
arrived.

Laura grabbed her chest. The pain
of simply thinking her name was debilitating. Laura pulled into an empty
parking lot and turned her car off. She closed her eyes and slowed her
breathing. When she felt calmer, she opened her eyes and turned the key in the ignition.
It sputtered in protest.

“Come on,” Laura said. “Don’t do
this.”

She had paid cash for her car a few
years ago, after quitting yet another job. The car was closing in on two
hundred thousand miles, but most of the time, it started and ran.

The car sputtered again and nothing
else happened.

Laura pumped the brake pedal and
then the gas pedal. She vaguely remembered someone telling her it would help.
When she tried to start the car a few minutes later, it started right up. Maybe
it was coincidence, maybe it wasn’t. It didn't matter though.

Laura put the car in drive and
continued on her way.

A few minutes later her cell rang
and it was Steph. Laura looked at the wide open road before her and she took
the call.

“I quit my job,” Laura said. “Just
so you know and can get mad right away.”

There was silence for a few
seconds. “I’m not mad. You live a different way than I do. I just don't want to
see you end up broke and lost somewhere.”

“I’m getting close to both.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m taking a drive,” Laura said.
“I need to clear my mind. I can’t handle all this right now.”

“I know,” Steph said. “I want you
to know something, Laura. Yesterday…”

“Forget it,” Steph said. “I’m
sorry.”

“No. I had no idea it was all so
fresh.”

Laura’s mouth went dry. Her hands
started to shake again. “Fresh. That’s one word for it.”

“It’s my fault,” Steph said. “How
can it not be fresh? That was your baby girl.”

“Was? She still is. No matter…”

The tears started coming down her
face.

“I have to go,” Laura said. “I
don’t want to talk about it.”

“Please don’t go too far,” Steph
said. “Stop by the house. Come visit me. Or better yet, when Jeff gets home,
I’ll visit you. We will have a girls night.”

“Thanks. But you have a family.
Stay there. Enjoy it. I love you, Steph.”

Laura ended the call and tossed the
phone to the side. She wiped her eyes and shook her head. There were still
plenty of tears to cry. But she feared that if she cried all the tears, then
she would start to heal and would have to move on.

Right now Laura had all she wanted.
She had a running car and nowhere she had to be. Laura looked at her dashboard and
felt another punch to her gut.

She was out of gas.

Laura had completely missed the
little light warning her. The needle was below the empty line. She looked into
her mirrors and saw there was nothing around. If she turned around, it would be
at least a few miles back to even begin to look for a gas station. If she kept
going forward… she had no idea what was there.

Before she could decide what to do,
the car sputtered and died.

“Great,” she said. “Just great.”

She was officially out of gas.

Laura coasted to the side of the
road as far as she could. Sitting there was the perfect metaphor for her life.
She couldn't go back and she couldn't go forward. She was stranded with no help
in sight.

Laura looked at her cell. She could
call Steph and have a ride home in no time. Her car insurance also provided
road side assistance. But instead of doing what any normal person would have
done, Laura opened the door and slid out of the car. She looked up and down the
empty road. She felt like the last person in the world; like she was in one of
those apocalyptic movies. At least her cell phone was fully charged. Laura climbed
onto the hood of her car and took a deep breath.

She thought back to the day she
gave birth. She could still see Ella's tiny nose and big blue eyes. She had
looked just like Laura, except she had Jon's ears and hair. Jon was there with
Laura through the whole labor and delivery. When the doctor placed Ella in her
arms, Laura believed that Jon would magically fall in love with the idea of
their family staying together. Instead, Jon had kissed her forehead, told her
she did great, and asked to hold his daughter.

Even after the waiting the
necessary time to resume bedroom activity, Jon was checked out. He never even
tried to come near her. His only focus was to be a great father and a good
lawyer. There was no desire to be in a relationship with Laura.

A cold breeze kicked up and Laura
wrapped her arms around herself. She so desperately wanted to hate Jon. She
wanted to blame him. She wanted to be angry at him for something, but deep down
she knew it wasn't his fault Ella was gone.

“No, no, no,” Laura started to
whisper.

She felt the darkness sweeping over
her and suddenly she could hear Ella's giggle as she ran through the yard,
blonde curls bouncing, and Jon teasing Laura for calling their daughter
baby
Ella
even though she was three years old.

Just as a smile crept across
Laura's face, a loud growl entered her mind and it didn't match the happy
image. Slowly Ella disappeared and a motorcycle came into view.

“Don’t save me,” she whispered.
“Whoever you are. Just don’t save me…”

*

I
could have saved
her.

That's the guilt that Mack was
plagued with for a long time after Kelly’s death. He talked about it all the
time and confided deeply in Luke, Gray, Trent, and Jake that he wished he could
have been there with Kelly. Maybe if he had been driving, he would have died.
She could have lived. Or he could have gotten out of the way and they'd be
happily married with a family now. Or if he had just gotten up from behind the
drum kit and grabbed her for one more kiss -
or something more
- nothing
would have happened.

As Mack traveled the long stretch
of road, he thought about the police report. He knew the exact spot where he
first saw the flashing lights of the police cruisers and other emergency
vehicles. The road had been closed and there had been only a few cars backed up.
Mack cut in and out of the cars and rode right up to the yellow tape.

According to police, everything was
cut and dry.

A drunk driver had been speeding
down the road was believed to have fallen asleep behind the wheel. Kelly had
been coming down the road, doing the speed limit, wearing her seatbelt, minding
her own business. The other driver fell asleep, cut the wheel, and Mack's world
was forever changed.

His first instinct was revenge. He
vowed to kill the bastard that took Kelly. But three days later, the other
driver died too and Mack was left with no one to put the blame on. Except
himself.

As Mack slowed down, he stared at
the spot where Kelly took her last breath. He was so focused on the memory that
he didn't notice the car up ahead on the other side of the road at first.

It pissed him off.

This was his road, his memory, his
private moment.

He approached the car and slowed. He
put his feet on the ground, the motorcycle still rumbling. A woman was sitting
on the hood of the car and she was staring right at him. Whether she was broken
down or not, he needed her to get out of there right away.

Mack cut the wheel and crossed the
road. He put down his kickstand and took off his sunglasses.

“You okay?” he yelled to the woman.

“No,” the woman replied. “Are you?”

Mack gritted his teeth. “In fact,
I’m not okay at all. Are you broken down or just taking a break?”

“Are you going to save me if I’m
stranded?”

“Answer the question,” Mack said.

“Can you turn your bike off? It’s
loud and annoying.”

Mack throttled the motorcycle and
stared at the woman. Her eyes were a shade of blue that he had never seen, but
the depth of them struck him odd. He stared for a few seconds and then turned
the motorcycle off.

“Thanks,” the woman said. “I’m
fine, by the way. I don’t need to be rescued here.”

“Good thing I’m not on a rescue
mission then,” Mack said.

The woman stood from the hood of
her car. She crossed her arms. “I ran out of gas.”

“That’s rescue worthy.”

“I'm fine,” she said. “I can call
for help.”

“Did you?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t want it right now,” she
said. “I was just happy to have a minute alone."

Mack looked over his shoulder. Then
back to the woman. “I can respect that. It's needed sometimes."

“Why are you out here alone?"
the woman asked.

Mack laughed. “You don’t want to
know.” He reached up and took his sunglasses off. “Are you sure you don’t need
any help right now?”

“No. Thanks for asking. I’m just
going to sit here until I’m done.”

Mack felt his eyes squinting a
little. The woman looked right back at him. And yet there was no connecting the
dots of who he was. Mack really couldn’t remember the last time he met someone
that didn't recognize him from Fallen Tuesday.

“Enjoy sitting,” Mack said. He put
his sunglasses back on. “If you change your mind… well, make sure you call for
help.”

“Worried about me?” the woman
asked. “You don’t even know me. I could be a terrible person. Maybe I’m a
serial killer on the run.”

“Doubt that,” Mack said. “But
thanks for trying to scare me.”

The woman tried to say something,
but Mack started his motorcycle. He made a hard left and headed back up the
road. He crossed to the other side, and stopped at the scene of the accident. Immediately
he was taken back to the drum kit as he sat there and watched Kelly leave the
apartment. To his cell ringing and seeing her name. To taking the call. To…
everything.

Mack sucked in a breath. To his
left he felt the woman with car out of gas staring at him. She had no idea how
much she was killing this important moment. Mack looked back one more time to make
sure there was no traffic and then shook his head at the woman.

Who the hell runs out of gas and
just sits there?

Pissed off, Mack throttled his
motorcycle again. He kicked up dirt as he hit the road again and left. Sometimes
a person needed to be alone, but the deep down truth was that being alone hurt
like hell.

(6)

Mack made it about a mile down the
road before he looked in the mirror and felt guilty. He shouldn’t have sped
away and left that woman back there alone. She said she had help if she needed
it, but that didn’t sit well with Mack. Not on an empty road like this. Hell,
all it took was one asshole driving drunk to change things forever.

Cutting again to the left, Mack put
his left foot out and the back tire screamed as he spun the motorcycle around.
Today was supposed to be about remembering. About the memories of love and
happiness. Instead, Mack was riding back down the road toward the spot he
didn’t need to see again. But he couldn't stop imagining that if it was Kelly
stranded there, he would be royally pissed off if some guy on a motorcycle just
left her all by herself. He had to make sure she was okay and that she was
going to make her call for help.

Mack rode fast down the road and
when he spotted the car still sitting there, he gritted his teeth. He flew up
to the car and stopped behind it. He turned off the motorcycle and hit the
kickstand. As he took his glasses and helmet off, the woman turned and put her
hands to her hips.

“Miss me?” she called out.

“It’s not a joke,” Mack said. “Please
call for help right now. Get someone to get you gas or tow you or give you a
ride.”

“Why? What’s it matter to you?”

Mack walked toward her. “I hate
asking this damn question, but do you know who I am?”

The woman looked him up and down.
It made Mack feel a little uncomfortable, mostly because he enjoyed it.

“I have no idea who you are,” the
woman said. “Am I supposed to?”

“I guess not,” Mack said. “I’m
Mack.”

“Mack? Is that your real name?”

“Maybe, maybe not. But this is the
part where you tell me your name.”

“Oh, right. I’m Laura. And, yes,
that is my real name.”

Mack offered his hand and Laura
shook it. The moment became a little awkward as they just stared at each other
while still holding the handshake.

He quickly pulled his hand back and
cleared his throat. “You really should call for help,” Mack said.

“Why do you care so much?”

Mack looked to the other side of the
road. His stomach flipped and his heart ached. “I have my reasons.” He looked
at Laura again. “Look, I get one day off, and no offense, but I don’t want to
waste my time standing here with a stranger.”

“Then don’t. Get back on your bike
and go.”

For some reason when Laura started
to turn, Mack reached for her wrist. He pulled and turned her around. She was just
inches from him. Mack knew he was angry and he was sure he looked angry.
Laura’s eyes were wide.

"I’m not leaving until you get
help. This road can be very dangerous. That’s why I want you to call for help.”

“So your act is the big tough guy who
rescues the helpless woman,” Laura said. “I’m not going to sleep with you. Just
so you know.”

“I didn’t say you were going to,”
Mack said. “Who the hell do you think I am?”

“I don’t know. Some angry biker.”

“No.”

“Then who are you?”

“I'm in a band.”

“A musician?”

“Something like that,” Mack said.
"Make your call for help.”

Mack waited and a few seconds later
Laura touched his hand that was still holding her wrist. “Are you going to let
me go? So I can make my call for help?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

Mack let her go and backed up. He
glanced to his left and kept his eyes on the spot across the road. Even after
all these years, the pain was still fresh. Kelly was probably so pissed at him
by now for not moving on with life. She was never one to dwell on bad things.
She always dusted herself off and kept going. He envied her for that.  

Mack thought about the rest of the
band. They were all off doing their own thing and enjoying their day off lost
in a world of love. And here Mack was, on the side of the road trying not to
check out the backside of a woman who was reaching into her car for her cell
phone. He turned and walked back to his motorcycle. Every few seconds Mack blinked
and could see the emergency vehicles. Police cruisers, ambulances, firetrucks.
He could see the police tape, the glass on the road, and pieces of the
vehicles. It was a giant mess of irresponsible destruction and death.

When Laura lowered the phone from
her ear, she bit on her bottom lip.

“What’s wrong?” Mack asked.

“I tried to call my sister,” Laura
said. “But she’s not answering. So I have to call my insurance company. They
can be here within the hour, so I will be fine. You can go."

“Anyone else you can call?” Mack
asked.

Your husband? Your boyfriend?

“Nobody,” Laura said.

“You can’t stand out here alone for
an hour.”

“Then stand with me,” Laura said.

Mack glanced up the road. “I can’t
do that,” Mack said. “It’s… I just can’t. Okay?”

“Then ride away.”

Mack couldn’t believe how annoyed
he felt with this woman. He knew nothing about her except that her name was
Laura, and yet he found himself handing her his helmet.

“Put this on,” he said. “Come with
me.”

“You're kidding, right?" Laura
asked. “You expect me to just climb on the back of a motorcycle with a
stranger?”

“Well, I don’t know how much of a
stranger I really am,” Mack said. “But right now, yes. I want you to take my
helmet and tell me where to go.”

Laura just stood there.

“Take the helmet,” Mack said. He
gritted his teeth again. His patience was wearing thin, but he didn't move.

Laura took the helmet and the first
thing she did was smell it.

“Are you kidding me?” Mack asked.

“What? It smells bad.”

“It’s a helmet.”

“I have to put it on?”

“Yes,” Mack said. “No riding
without a helmet.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“You're willing to put your life at
risk for me? You don’t know anything about me.”

“Okay then,” Mack said, crossing
his arms. “Tell me something about you then. Like why you let your car run out
of gas and then just sat here instead of getting help."

“Fine. I had an opportunity to get
a promotion at work and sabotaged it on purpose because I’m afraid of moving
forward with my life. So I quit my job and went for a ride. I didn't realize I
was out of gas until I was out of gas. When I pulled to the side of the road, I
figured I would take a break. No sense in rushing back to a reality I’m not
okay with, right?”

Mack had not expected her to blurt
all that out.

Laura put the helmet on her head.
She titled her head back a little and before she could reach the clasp, Mack
put his hands out and took care of it. When his fingers grazed her chin, Mack
felt a quick sense of warmth in his body. It caught him off guard and he turned
his head. There was no attraction there... why would there be? Mack chalked the
passing thought up to her story of being lost and confused. It was her story
that he connected with, not her.

“Where does your sister live?” Mack
asked.

Laura rambled off an address and
Mack had an idea of where to go. His plans for his day off didn’t include this,
but it would be a hell of a lot better than cruising around, letting memories
tear more of his soul away.

Once on the motorcycle, Mack waited
for Laura to grab hold of him. She didn’t just clutch the side of his leather,
she slid her hands all the way around his body and interlocked her fingers. And
then her body pressed against his.

This is wrong
…

The motorcycle started and Mack pulled
out onto the road again. He looked in his mirror and still couldn't make sense
of what happened to Kelly, or what was happening right now. Why had Laura ended
up in this spot, on this day?  For whatever reason, Mack got the impression
that his life was about to change in ways he hadn't planned.

*

Laura kept her fingers locked
tight. Never the one to admit she desperately wanted to be saved, Laura turned
her head and rested it against Mack’s back. The world flew by as he drove her
to Steph’s house.

It was probably wrong to do, but
when Laura had tried to call Steph, she only let it ring twice before hanging
up. She was too intrigued by the sexy man on the motorcycle who came to her aid
twice.

The second she saw Mack
approaching, she sensed something about him. The way he stared at the other
side of the road and insisted she get help immediately revealed a vulnerability
that big, tough men don't usually show to strangers.

Laura thought about what Mack said.
He was a musician. He called himself a rockstar. Laura had no idea what that
actually meant. For all she knew he could be some burned out drummer who couldn't
get over being kicked out of his band in high school. But he did offer her a
ride. And as dangerous and stupid of a decision it might have been, Laura
needed to take a chance.

At a stop sign, Mack put his feet
down and turned his head.

“Tell me where to go!” he yelled.

“Okay,” Laura yelled back.

She directed Mack to a block from
Steph’s house and had him pull over. Mack looked around and turned the
motorcycle off.

“Where’s the house?” he asked.

“A block away,” Laura said. “Sorry.
I just wanted you to stop for a second.”

“Why?”

“Why were on that road?”

Mack shook his head. “I offered to
help you, Laura. Just be glad I was there when I was.”

“Okay. I’m sorry for asking. You
just seem… sad.”

“Sad,” Mack said. “That sounds
childish.”

“Maybe,” Laura said. She climbed
off the motorcycle and took the helmet off.

“What are you doing?” Mack asked.

“I’ll walk,” Laura said. “It’s only
a block.”

“Like hell. Get on the bike.”

“Tell me why you were there.”

Mack looked like he was snarling at
her. Big and tough, scary looking, but Laura wasn’t going to back down. She
couldn’t figure out what was going on in her body, but she wanted to stand
there all day and ask Mack a million questions.

“Today’s a shit day for me,” Mack
said. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not going to talk about it. You were
stranded and trying not to be the normal ass that I am, I decided to help. Good
enough?”

Laura put the helmet back on and climbed
back on the motorcycle. Mack turned the bike back on and rode down the street.
Laura pointed to Steph’s house and Mack pulled up into the driveway. This time
he didn’t turn the engine off.

He turned his head and asked, “Is
this the real house?”

“Don’t trust me?” Laura teased.

“I’ll sit here until you go inside
then.”

Laura gave Mack his helmet and stared
at him. Was he flirting? Was she flirting with him? What was happening?

“Thanks for the ride,” Laura said.

Mack put his helmet on and nodded.
“Sure. That road is dangerous, Laura. Make sure you get your car. And put a
full tank of gas in it.”

Laura smiled. “I’ll keep that in
mind. I don't really need the car right now since I'm unemployed, remember?”

“Then I guess I can’t ask you to
make this up to me,” Mack said.

He quickly turned his head and started
to walk backward and Laura chased him down. Something was burning deep inside
her. If she let Mack go right now without saying something important… their
encounter would have been for nothing.

Laura grabbed Mack’s leather. He
stopped walking. There was a pause that felt like days. With his sunglasses on,
Laura had no idea whether he was angry or just as nervous as she was.

When Laura knew her time was up,
she had to do something quick or just let him go. Laura moved forward and
gently pressed her lips to Mack’s cheek. The scruff on his face felt like
tickling sandpaper.

She moved her lips up to his ear
and whispered, "Mack… I’m sad too. Don’t be ashamed of it.”

Laura turned and ran up the steps
to Steph's porch. When she rang the doorbell, Steph opened the door a few
seconds later.

“What in the heck…”

That was all Steph got out before
Mack backed out of the driveway and the motorcycle roared to life. Steph’s
mouth hung open as she stared at Laura.

“I needed a ride,” Laura said. “He showed
up.”

“Who is
he
?” Steph asked.
“And why did you call and hang up? I called you back four times, Laura.”

“I know. But he showed up. His name
is Mack, I guess?”

“Mack…” Steph looked down the
street and then her eyes went wide. “No! No way! That can’t be right.”

“What can't be right?”

“My mind is thinking crazy things,”
Steph said.

“Why?”

Steph looked right at Laura.
“Because you said his name is Mack. Something about him seems… famous.”

“Really? Who?”

“You know Jeff and I and our love
for music. Well, that guy that brought you back here looked a lot like the
drummer from the band Fallen Tuesday.”

Laura turned her head.
The
drummer
…

Laura then heard Steph switch back
to reality. “What were you thinking getting on the back of a motorcycle like that?
And where is your car?”

Laura's thoughts drowned out the
questions as she thought about what Mack had said before.

I’m a
rock star
.

It seemed impossible, but if it was
who Steph thinks it was, Laura definitely wanted to find a way to repay the
favor. And maybe find out the real reason he was on that road.