A Timeless Journey (25 page)

“You have to read it all before arriving to any conclusions.”

I was relieved that I didn’t have to keep any secrets from Luna and I imagined how it must have felt for her keeping such a big secret from me all this time. Talking about secrets, I realised that she must have known in advance everything had happened between us so far and the events that will happen in a near future including baby Sky. I was curious to know how she had handled this situation, especially when she asked me to choose our baby’s name knowing exactly what I was going to say.

“Now that I’m thinking, you knew our daughter’s name before you got pregnant and this is why you asked me to choose her name, because you already knew the name I was going to choose.”

“I like the name Sky. It has been weird living through events I already know and act as if nothing had happened, but you have to believe me it was the only option for me. I must admit, I don’t regret my decision, in fact, I have enjoyed our time together and I will always be madly in love with you no matter where you will be.”

“Enjoyed? Why are you talking as if what we have now is already in the past? I don’t want this to be our past. I want our relationship to last forever.”

“I hope so too Scott. As I said, I am not aware of everything that will happen between us. All I know about the future ends where the novel ends, as you will find out when you finish reading it.”

After what she said, Luna went very quiet, concentrating on the Holo wall projection in front of us. Observing her distant and distracted look, I wondered if I even wanted to find out how my novel ended, but since I was the one who had written it, I don’t think I had a choice. At some point I was going to face the inevitable future.

If I chose to ignore the content of the novel and no matter what decided to stay in the future, I was afraid that I was going to change everything and create a paradox by making the novel disappear. If this novel ceased to exist, our relationship might be affected from the start. There was always the possibility of a different parallel universe and another me, which meant the book, may still exist even if I didn’t return home. And there again, regardless if there were different parallel universes or not, if another version of me existed, I didn’t fancy the other me to miss everything I had experienced so far.

I put my right arm around her shoulders and invited Luna to rest her head on my chest. Then I wrapped my left arm around her belly, to let her know that I would never stop loving her and our baby.

31

Next day, during my lunchbreak, I went back to the Holo room and continued reading from the book. Every important event, I had experienced in the future, it was described there in detail. I became convinced that whatever was written in this story was going to happen no matter what I did.

I managed to read up to the end of the fifth chapter before I was interrupted by Link who announced the end of my hour long lunchbreak. So far everything in the novel was accurate. I was aware that in a few days, I would have to decide if I wanted to find out what happens past the point of what was then the present. Reading about a future that hasn’t happened yet was something I wasn’t looking forward doing. The prospect of finding out a truth I didn’t like, terrified me.

Things with Luna had gone back to normal, at least as normal as it would get, considering we were now both aware of knowing what was going to happen next. I was torn in two minds as to whether to try and change the future by ignoring the rest of the contents of that novel, or carry on reading the story to the end and then change the future all the same. The only doubt I had in my mind was the fear of creating a paradox that may dramatically affect our relationship and possibly worse.

Thursday was my last day at work for that week and I had arrived at the part where I discover the novel. I stopped reading and decided to think what I was going to do, over the weekend. I had to decide if I was going to read any further, or just stop and wait for the fate to run its course. I couldn’t ask Luna’s opinion since she knew the outcome already and probably her decision would have been affected by her feelings anyway. In the end, I realised I had to decide what to do all by myself.

On Monday morning, I took the Emze to work without being able to reach a decision over the weekend. Deep down, pushed by the curiosity which typically characterises every normal human being, I wished I learned everything. It was going to be very hard to resist the temptation once I took my lunchbreak.

The next three hours flew by like a dream and soon, I found myself in the Holo room, one ‘think’ away from opening the novel. Trying to be rational before I acted upon my decision, I took some time to think it through. There was a risk that if I refused to read the rest of the novel, it might affect the future and the past, if the character describing me had already read it. On the other hand, I could simply read the novel to the end and choose to follow the story as it was written without deviations. If I would not like what I was going to read, I could always change the outcome for the better.

It was the last thought that fed my indecisions. I was afraid I might be forced to change what was going to happen under the influence of my strong feelings for Luna and also the wonderful fact of becoming a father. If the forced change was going to be a fundamental one, there was a good chance of creating a paradox which meant risking losing Luna and Sky forever. Locked in an unwinnable battle between accepting fate and force changes upon the future, ultimately, I had to give up. I started to read past the point where I had found the existence of this novel.

I have to admit that writing for the first time, as I am now about a story that I had already read in the future, feels weird and confusing. I will try not to spoil what happens next by continuing to describe the events as they happened, accordingly.

I started to read this very words, past the present point, only to find out about the exact date when baby Sky was going to be born. My most important and the shocking discovery of all, was when I found out that the anomaly was going to show up again and this time, I had an exact date and time. The anomaly was going to appear on my second anniversary in the future, the exact time and date I had arrived. What I read after that point, made me regret my decision to learn the future.

I imagined how Luna had felt this entire time knowing what was going to happen next and I sympathised with her. Being in the same position, I understood the difficulty of carrying on living as if nothing had happened.

Before I had a chance to read the last two chapters, my lunchbreak was over and I went back to work with my mind full of confusing thoughts. I didn’t like what I had read, but I was hoping the last two chapters were going to change all that, otherwise pushed by the love for Luna and Sky, I would have had to intervene and change the outcome of the future.

By then, I knew that I had just over four months to decide which future path I was going to take. I hoped the arrival of baby Sky would have had somehow an impact in making my mind up for what I was going to do. My first instinct was to do the opposite of what I had written in the story. Regardless to how I felt and before making any drastic decision, I had to think long and hard about the consequences of going against what was already meant to happen. You must be confused by my blabbering and I can assure you, most of what I am saying, will make more sense by the end of the story.

The entire way home, I kept thinking if I wanted to share with Luna what troubled my mind, or simply push my troubles out of my memory and carry on as I would have done normally if I hadn’t come across this insight. In the end, I decided to ignore what I had learned and enjoy her company instead. However, Luna had other ideas. As soon as I stepped inside the apartment, she started firing anxious questions at me.

“Did you read it all? Did you find out? What do you think?”

“I rather not talk about it Luna. Why don’t we ignore everything and leave it to fate? What do you think?”

“So you have finished reading it. What are your thoughts for what is going to happen?”

“I haven’t finished it yet. All I want is to be with you and my baby girl and I will do anything to stay here with you.”

“If you change the future, if you decided to stay here, it will mean the novel will never be written and I would never be aware of what is going to happen the day we met. You will be an unknown entity when you arrive here and no one will recognise you. It is a dangerous path.”

“It’s a risk that I’m prepared to take.”

“What happens if everything becomes undone? Our love, our baby girl and everything we have done up to this moment could just disappear. Are you ready to take this risk?”

“We have already met, this is a fact Luna and there is nothing to change that. We cannot suddenly un-meet and you can’t just get un-pregnant.”

“If you fail to return to 21
st
century and write this novel, without the book, not only you will never have the same experience, but everything we have may become undone.”

“I would do anything to be with you Luna, even if it meant re-living it all again, including finding you and winning you back.”

“You forget one small detail.” Luna looked down and put her hand on the belly before carrying on. “If what we have becomes undone, you will never know I exist. You can’t look for what you don’t know and the most importantly, what about our baby? She is here now in flesh and blood. Do you want to deny her the right to exist?”

“Good point,” I replied pensively. “So, what do you suggest I do? I just follow the story to the letter and then what? I would lose you both regardless.”

“I don’t exactly know what ‘following the story to the letter’ means, but if it’s what I am guessing, then yes, you have to follow the story as it is written. There are no other options. I have thought and thought about this since I have met you and believe me, after weeks and months of stressful thinking, I have put my mind to rest and accept everything as it should happen. If I have made peace with whatever happens, then so should you.”

This hypothetical talk, when no one really knew what was going to happen if I had to change the future, had started to stress me out and I had no intention continuing this conversation anymore. I felt powerless to change the course of events I had read on the book and unable to think of a reasonable solution. It was time to end that awkward conversation.

“I have an idea, why don’t we stop talking about the future and enjoy the present as if we were not aware. What do you think?”

“It won’t make the problem disappear, but I think you are right. There again, I already knew you were going to say that.”

I smiled and gave Luna a kiss, thanked her for the support and then I made my way to the personal needs room to use the steamer. After the steamer, we had dinner together, mostly in silence. My mind felt tired due to intensive thinking and after the meal, I went for a lonely walk on the beach to clear my mind, before I settled in the U-seat next to Luna for the rest of the evening.

I thought it was brave of her to choose being with me in the first place, considering she knew beforehand what was going to happen in the future. I admired her for the courage to gamble with her life. If I had known from beginning what was going to happen, I don’t know what I would have done.

Next day, during my lunchbreak, I finished reading the whole story and by then, I realised that my fate was practically sealed, no matter what I did to change it. There appeared to be no escape from what was going to happen. Despite all the options I deliberated in my head, there was nothing I could do to change the future without affecting the past, the present and creating a paradox.

The thought of losing Sky to my selfish decisions, depressed me and I wished I never came across the novel. I knew it was too late to dwell on the past and it frustrated me. Changing the future events, it might have allowed me to stay in the 26
th
century and it was something I wanted dearly. The only problem was that I wasn’t sure at what cost.

If the novel had to become inexistent, the life Luna and I had, might also become inexistent and this would have been devastating form me. I risked losing Luna and the baby Sky because of my selfish desire to stay in the future. I had no option but to wait for the events to unfold. I had to choose between my broken heart and the existence of Luna and Sky and, in that case, I had no choice but to live with my broken heart rather than experiencing my love disappearing from my memory.

Although with some regret for having learned the future events, I decided to enjoy the days we had in front of us and leave the big decisions for when the time arrived. If Luna had been able to cope with the knowledge of the future for the previous sixteen months and still enjoying her life with me, then the least I could do for her, was to cope for the next four months.

32

After a troubled and stressful January, the affairs seemed to return to the normal routine. Luna and I, despite everything, managed to get back to our happy days. I worked during the week and during weekends we travelled around the globe, mostly visiting the kind of places that Mother Nature had used extra magic to create a wonder. By the time the month of May arrived, Luna’s pregnancy was almost at full term and I was entitled to a full year’s paternity leave from the day she was due to give birth.

Normally, Link would calculate when the baby was ready thanks to connection with the Holo health app. Then, the mother-to-be makes her way to the clinic and waits for the nature to run its course. Once the doctor, or the geneticist, in this case, is notified thanks to the advanced technology, he operates a machine that performs some kind of caesarean. After the baby is born, the cut is then closed by a gene repair gadget, which leaves the mother without any scarring and ready to return home.

Luna was due for her last health check-up two weeks before the birth date. Thanks to the Holo app, she had no need to leave the house. All she had to do was use her Link device to log on in the system via Holo and then run the Link over her belly. A couple of minutes later, the results would be displayed on the screen. In the event if there was something wrong with the baby, the scan would detect it and give instructions accordingly. In the early stages of pregnancy if there was a genetic anomaly, the carrier would go to the genetic repair clinic and modify baby’s abnormal genes.

We knew there was nothing wrong with baby Sky and Luna’s last scan was more to confirm when her exact due birth date. Thanks to the novel, Luna and I already knew the date and we couldn’t wait for 23
rd
of May when baby Sky arrived. After we had the official confirmation of Sky’s birth date registered in the AI system, Luna helped me apply for paternity leave. The AI system confirmed when my paternity leave started, as soon as it ran the necessary checks. I was excited that I was going to be a father, but in reality, I didn’t have a clue what it really meant and how I was going to feel, as I later found out.

Luna and I shared a joyful moment after the official confirmation. I ordered Link to show the projection of outside on one of the walls. My eyes wandered over the horizon where the blue ocean and the sky formed a barely-visible silver line in front of me. I had so many perturbing thoughts in my head and also a dreadful feeling that soon, I was going to lose everything in this beautiful reality including Luna and baby Sky.

Luna noticed the sadness in my eyes and grabbed hold of my hand. She joined me by fixing her eyes at the same view in front. It was her way of showing support without needing to say a single word. Despite her solidarity, I was aware that Luna needed moral support more than I did.

I turned slightly to my left and faced her. Luna’s eyes had sadness in them too and felt sharing a kiss with her, while I held her body close to mine. We spent the next few minutes in silence, looking way down at the miniature white sandy beach and the Emzes flying around. Seeing the ominous atmosphere created, I decided to change the mood by asking Luna to follow me.

“I have an idea. Why don’t you come and play on the beach with me?” I asked with a smile.

Luna looked at me like I was asking the impossible and then rolled her eyes over her belly. She then stared back on my face, raising an eyebrow.

“You want me to come and play with you on the beach, while I am like this?”

She put both of her hands on her bump and looked at me with expectation that I was going to back-off this crazy idea. But I had no intention of backing off and besides, all I wanted to do was to sit with her on the beach and not run around.

“Yeah why not,” I replied. “It will help us take our minds off for a while. So, what do you think?”

“I will accept with one condition. We can go for a short walk, but I am not running around like this.”

“No one is asking you to run around. We can just sit on the sand and have some peace and quiet. I do fancy a romantic afternoon on the beach with you.”

“Well, this is actually a good idea, come, let’s go.”

Luna grabbed my hand again and guided me towards the cube.

The sun felt warm as it touched my skin, but luckily there was a breeze blowing in from the ocean. Although the breeze was a warm one, it somehow balanced the air temperature to supportable levels. I placed the small high-tech camping sheet on the sand and the four small pulling spheres at the four corners and pressed the app on the camping remote control. The four corners of the sheet pulled by the spheres prepared a resting platform ready for us to sit on.

A few minutes later, the heat of the sun became a little insupportable and Luna asked if I could turn on the protection shield. I set the temperature inside the shield to the cool settings and a few moments later, it felt as if we were sitting on a north England beach on a cloudy day.

We spent the next two hours on the beach, enjoying each other’s company. The conversation revolved mostly about our baby and we managed to entirely forget about the troublesome future ahead. All I wanted at that moment was to enjoy the surroundings and the time I had left with the person I loved the most.

We had lain on our backs inside the camping dome enjoying a moment of silence. I kept rolling my eyes up and down, looking first, the horizon in front of me, then the blue sky above and ultimately, the high buildings behind. I repeated this eye movement several times and after a while, it felt as if I was hanging unbalanced from the edge of the world. The presence of a wall of sky risers behind made me feel noxious just by looking at the extreme heights while the flat surface of the calm ocean in front of me, had the opposite effect. I felt stuck in between two extremes, the same way I was stuck between a distant past and an imminent future.

Luna had lifted her head up and was observing me with an unhidden curiosity.

“What are you doing Scotty?” She asked.

“What do mean? I am resting, enjoying the quietness and the surroundings.” I replied taken aback from her strange question, unaware of my involuntary eye movement.

“Why are you rolling your eyes like this?”

I turned my head and looked at Luna releasing a slightly submissive smile before explaining my strange actions.

“I am comparing the flat surface in front of me with the wall of buildings behind. It is amazing how perception of space differs just by rolling your eyes in a different direction. Viewed from the lain down position, the buildings behind rise so high towards the sky that the tops disappear into the clouds and the vertigo makes my stomach twitch. On the other hand, the infinite flat space spreading in front of me fills my chest with euphoria. Don’t you find this conflict of feelings amazing?”

Luna shook her head. “You have a very unique way of looking at the world, Scotty.”

“Is this a bad thing?” I asked, not sure if what she said was a compliment or just a sarcastic remark.

“No it’s not a bad think. I do actually envy your take on everything. You appreciate every little detail which most of us fail to notice in our everyday life. I like this in you. It makes you a very special person.”

“How can you fail to notice such an obvious space paradox?” I argued.

“I was born in this reality Scotty! For me, these surroundings have been here since I was born. You are from a far less developed world and this view is quite something compared to what you were used to see. This is why your perception of space is different from others born here.”

“I disagree! I think each individual is free to choose the way it sees the world.”

“I remember when we returned to Earth from our space holiday. You went above ground to look at the Sahara desert and feel the sun on your face. You thought it was the most beautiful place on earth. Nobody does that. If you had to travel there now in this moment in time, I am sure you will feel different to what you felt last time.”

“Of course, I would feel different. I accept that. But you have to understand, the happiest moments are made of unique circumstances and if such moments are to be repeated, it would never feel the same having experienced it once before.”

“Like the moment, I first saw you.”

“Precisely, like the first moment we met. It doesn’t matter how many times we’ve met afterwards, what we felt in that moment, it’s always going to remain special and unique.”

Luna grabbed my hand and started to roll her eyes up and down just like I was doing a moment ago.

“You are right. The buildings do look different when you lying down.”

“I told you, all you have to do is open your mind and try.”

“Thank you, my love,” said Luna suddenly.

“No, thank you for existing,” I replied and held her hand as if she was going to fly away at any moment.

Luna smiled and fixed her eyes above. I looked up too. It was one those moments you wish it lasted forever. We stared at the blue skies above for a while, in silence. I felt the warmth of Luna’s hand enhancing my emotional state and it felt good. I had this sweet feeling traveling up and down from my brain to my chest and vice versa. It was how being in love felt.

It was way past lunch time, before we decided to return to the apartment. Only hunger made us break those wonderful moments on the beach that day.

Thank to Luna and our meaningless conversations, by the time we returned to the apartment, I had forgotten the troublesome times waiting for me ahead. It was amazing what the presence of Luna did for me. All I had to do was look into Luna’s eyes and all the troubles disappeared as if by magic. One little meaningless conversation, a little innocent smile from her, or even her simple presence and I would ignore everything else around me. Luna’s presence was the antidote to my stress, to my boredom and my loneliness. I don’t remember ever being angry at the world the whole time I was with her.