A Torment of Savages (The Reanimation Files Book 4) (10 page)

“Speaking of Ethan, did you know he has a girlfriend?”

“Oh?” Micah’s eyebrows rose. “I can only assume she likes games and anime as much as he does? Or is pretty enough that he doesn’t care about lack of common interests?”

I laughed. “She’s pretty, and when I came home they were playing Mario, so she seems to hit the nail on the head twice. Her name is Ailani.”

“Good for him,” Micah said. “Hope you didn’t embarrass him too much.” His tone was amused. He knew me so well.

“Just a tad,” I said. “Well, maybe more than a tad. It didn’t get to the point where he tried to drive me out of my own house with a pitch fork.”

“Look at you, showing restraint. I’m so proud.”

“I try,” I said. “I hope she sticks around, it’s adorable watching him flutter around a girl.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to be less proud of your restraint in the future.”

“This is very possible,” I said. We both laughed.

After we’d polished off the cake, Micah put on a movie. I dimmed the lights, meaning I took off the overhead lights in the kitchen and living room and just left on one lamp. I snuggled up to Micah as we watched. I’d thrown my legs over his lap and he had one hand drifting up and down my bare skin. His other arm was around my shoulders and his fingers were idly playing with my hair. It was the most blissful, peaceful moment I’d had with Micah in a long time.

Micah released a small sigh, and I raised my head to look at him.

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s just as you said before, tonight has been about as perfect as it gets. For too long things were just dark and painful and full of lies, and it hurt even more because I knew I was the source of most of it. I caused us to bend so far we almost shattered. It hasn’t been easy trying to forgive myself for that, far less ask you to forgive me.”

“Micah…”

“Remember a few months ago when you said there was never any normal for us? You were right. From the start things weren’t on balanced footing. We were trying to build a relationship on a foundation that was already cracked. Once we could admit to our feelings for each other, we had heavy things going on like Larry and Michael, then Renton, then the crossover ghosts. And because of those things we’ve been hugely affected both individually and together, and it’s caused us to do things that further cracked the ground we were standing on.”

“They say nothing worth fighting for is easy, but I don’t think either of us ever thought it would be quite this hard.”

“What was the hardest part for you?” Micah asked.

I thought about that for a moment.

“The lies,” I replied. “And you keeping secrets from me. You made decisions for me without considering what I would have to say or how I felt about it, and I resented you for that. For backing me into difficult corners where there was no easy way out. The reasons why you did it never came from a bad place, like you were intentionally trying to hurt me, but it hurt nevertheless. And I know it was because you love me, but it has been hard dealing with the fact that you let other people die to save me. “

“I know.” Micah looked down at where our fingers were entwined. “How do you feel about those things now?”

“Better than I did a few months ago,” I said. “I don’t know if I can ever truly forgive certain things, but Dr. Ness has been helping me to realize that I should not necessarily be focusing on trying to forgive you. I should be focusing on seeing if I can get to a place where I can acknowledge the hurt and pain and not resent you for it.”

“And?” He looked up at me tentatively.

“I’m here in your arms in a sexy dress having an amazing time, what do you think?” I smiled, and he flashed one back. “It hasn’t been easy,” I continued, voice soft. “But if you hadn’t made certain decisions, I wouldn’t be here. With life and death there’s not always a clear path out of the woods. And with Ethan, you were trying to do good, even though I wish you had not let me worry about him for so long. So, being off the path of forgiveness and more on the path of acceptance of who you are and what you’ve done, I think I’m getting to a good place.”

Micah released a shuddering breath and raised my hand to his lips. “I have hope,” he said. “In my heart. I have hope for us. I believe in us.” He looked into my eyes, those beautiful gray ones of his looking mesmerizing in the lamp light. “I know I’ve said it before, but I am so sorry, Selene. For all the hurt I’ve caused.”

“So am I,” I said. “For killing myself…”

Micah squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head slightly away. Without having to ask, I knew that was the hardest issue for him to grapple with. He turned back and opened his eyes.

“I am learning to live with the pain that caused,” Micah said. “And not dwell on it because there was a reason you did it, and you’re still here. That’s all that matters.”

“Reason I did it…” I said. “Your uncle…”

“How are you feeling about that?”

“He deserved it, but taking someone’s life…that’s not an easy thing to handle. Ghost monsters are one thing, a human, no matter how crazy and murderous, is another. But knowing how many people I saved by taking him out of the picture helps.”

“I don’t want you to be torn up over his death. I’ve already told you I don’t resent you for it. It was his own actions that resulted in there being no other way to stop him. I don’t mourn that man. I mourn who he was before he went too far to be saved.”

“Sometimes it’s just hard to believe that it happened, that I did that. It’s something that makes me wonder if I even know who I am anymore.”

“You’re Selene.” Micah cupped my face with his hands. “You’re strong, and passionate, and you’ve put yourself in harm’s way far more than I’d like, but it’s so you can help people. I’ve never been in love before you, Selene. I closed up that part of myself after my mother died, but you exploded through my heart and I had no choice but to love you. You’re stubborn and headstrong, and difficult sometimes, but there’s no one else I’d rather go through all the things we’ve been through with. Only you. For as long as I live, and even beyond it, it will always only be you. I will never lie to you again. About anything. I promise. The decisions I made, the ways I’ve hurt you…sometimes it makes it hard for me to even look at myself in the mirror. I don’t deserve you, but you’re still here fighting for us, and that means everything to me. You mean everything to me.” He leaned in and kissed me, and I thought my heart might implode in my chest from the impact of his words. He moved to deepen the kiss, but I pulled back.

“Selene?” He was frowning slightly.

“I’ve been keeping something from you,” I blurted. “Something kind of big.” I hadn’t intended to be a mood-ruiner, but it was time I confessed to Micah or else we would be continuing to try to rebuild our relationship on lies and secrecy.

“What is it?” He looked understandably concerned and worried. The bombs we dropped on each other were never small. They were catastrophic. I didn’t think this one was of that caliber, but it was still a biggie.

I moved back, taking my legs off his lap and scooting back on the sofa. Being wrapped up in his arms was not helping me think clearly. I took a deep breath and blew it out, wondering what the best way to approach this was.

“Selene? What is it?”

“When I was dead and my ghost was in the In Between, I met a ghost named Kyo. He saved me from…”

“From?”

“Renton’s ghost,” I finished. “He found me there and attacked me. He wanted to torture me for all of eternity. Kyo saved me by…throwing Renton into a ghost monster pit.”

Micah’s eyes widened. I had told him and Tielle about the ghost monster pits in the In Between, but had held back the fact that Renton had taken a trip down one of them.

“That’s why his ghost never rose with unfinished business,” Micah said.

“Yes,” I replied. “He’s truly…gone.”

“Wow…Selene, I’m not mad about that, I already told you—”

“That’s not it,” I said. “Not all of it. Shortly after the scuffle with Renton, we were attacked by Garrus, and Kyo again helped me by fighting him. During the fight was when I was revived. Anyway, Kyo was one of the ghosts that got pulled through the necromancer circle you guys opened. I encountered him again when he saved me from the trio of ghosts Larry had sent to attack me.”

“He’s sure saved you a lot,” Micah commented.

“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, what I really need to tell you is that Kyo is still here. I’ve been helping him avoid being sent back by putting him in a rune those times I’ve used the dead magic to call out to any crossovers.”

“What?” Micah looked shocked. “But why? You know the circle stays open because of the crossover ghosts still being here.”

“Which doesn’t make a difference because even if Kyo went back the circle would still be open due to the runes on Ethan’s back, remember?”

“Right,” he said. “Sorry. But why didn’t you send him back?”

“This is where the story gets a bit twisty.” I spent the next few minutes telling him all about Kyo being a dead warlock and what had happened to him and the other dead warlocks over three hundred years ago.

“I let him stay because I’m trying to help him find his body,” I said.

“Wow…uh…wow…” Micah looked stunned, so I gave him some time to process what I had told him.

“Is there proof? I know you aren’t a fool, but you just believe him?”

“It’s hard to find proof with something like this, it’s not like there’s going to be a book sitting around the Paranormal Library that explains this particular part of history. The dead witches have been sitting on this for three centuries with no one knowing a thing because they left no trail. They never thought any of the warlock ghosts would make it back here, but now one has.”

“Yeah, but it’s still a huge and crazy thing to just accept.”

“I get your skepticism, I do. But there’s a facet of my investigation with Leena yesterday that I kept from Tielle.” I told him about the infant bones and the fact that I’d taken samples to Dr. Lane.

“Shit,” Micah said. “That’s horrific. But it could be unrelated…”

“Your tone tells me you don’t really believe that,” I said. “I sure don’t believe it’s a coincidence that after knowing what I know from Kyo, I come across a dead witch with the bones of dead babies hidden under her floorboards. Who tried to kill herself when she realized someone found out. That should show you the brevity of this Micah. No one outside the dead witch community is supposed to know this. And apparently death is better than having fellow dead witches find out that someone stumbled onto their secret.”

“Makes sense,” Micah said. “This is just a lot to wrap my head around.”

“It took me a while. But it shows how un-linear paranormal history is. So much has been altered or erased altogether. It’s terrifying to think about what else we don’t know.”

“I agree. This…this is insane. How are you even going to try and help him? Leena tried to kill herself. If someone finds out you’re on to this they could try to kill you. Kyo is already a ghost, all the risk is on you.”

“I know, which is part of the reason I held off on telling you. Now that you know, you could become a target too. Kyo has stressed not telling anyone because of how dangerous an undertaking this is. But I’m committed to helping him. He’s spent three centuries in one of the worst imaginable places and now exists in a world that is propelled by life, and he cannot truly be part of it. It’s like how Ethan was when he was a ghost.”

“I understand, but you’re my primary concern. You have a drive to help people and I love that about you, but I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m going to lose you.”

“I’ll be careful, I promise. Remember, I’ve got that un-killable thing going for me as long as Garrus stays put in the In Between.”

“I guess that’s some comfort,” Micah said. “Although Garrus sure isn’t.”

“I know, but let’s not knock on that door right now. It is what it is, and I’m still here.”

Micah nodded.

“Are you mad?”

“No,” he said, after a few moments of silence. “I wish you would have told me sooner, but I understand why you didn’t. Your trust in me was broken, and I work closely with a high ranking, powerful dead witch.”

“I did worry that you would tell Tielle and force me to send Kyo back.”

“I never would,” Micah said. “And even though I’m a little hurt at being kept in the dark, the fact that you told me now shows that you trust me with this. And that means a lot.”

“I’m glad,” I said, smiling. “I feel like a weight has been lifted off.” I scooted back closer to Micah and he put his arms around me. “Did I kill the mood though?”

“Hmm, let’s see.” Micah’s voice was already laced with heat as he bent down and kissed me. It was a gentle, probing kiss that spread warmth through my body as well as the feeling of electric currents running under my skin. His mouth caught at my bottom lip and sucked it for a moment before releasing it. His tongue demanded its way into my mouth and the kiss deepened. I moved until I was straddling Micah. The movement danced the hem of my dress all the way up my thighs. Micah slid his hands up my skin and groaned when I pressed myself against the hard swell in his jeans. My fingers slid through his hair as he continued to push my dress up. I broke the kiss and pushed his head back, bit his bottom lip the way he’d done mine, then kissed my way down his neck. Micah’s fingers were playing with the edge of my lacey underwear, and my breath caught when he slid his finger into me. I was already wet enough that there was no hindrance. It was just a tease though, he pulled his finger out soon after and raised it to his mouth, giving a long suck on his finger while he stared into my eyes and watched me watch him taste me.

“Kiss me,” I breathed. I caught Micah’s lips again, the salty taste on his lips growing more wetness between my legs. We had on far too much clothes. I broke the kiss again to tug Micah’s sweater off, then let my hands and lips play over his chest and abs. Micah pulled my dress down, which was enough to free my breasts since I wasn’t wearing a bra. Holding underneath my thighs, he picked me up enough to move us to the floor where he lay me on my back and let his mouth have his way with my breasts. He sucked and bit down on my nipple in a way that straddled the line between pleasure and pain and drove me wild. Just when I thought I’d have an orgasm just from that, he sat all the way up and I looked at him in breathless confusion.