A Tragic Wreck (16 page)

The pain was back. It never really left, but Olivia had been hopeful earlier when she decided to return to Boston and pour her heart out to Alexander. But now it had returned and the hurt was too much. She needed something to dull the ache. Her heart beat rapidly and she felt a panic attack coming on. Running to the bathroom, she rummaged through her medicine cabinet looking for the bottle that Dr. Greenstein had prescribed to help with her anxiety.

She grabbed it and walked downstairs with her laptop, searching for the bottle of bourbon with her name on it. Popping two valium, she gulped down the liquid, thankful for the warmth spreading through her body. After throwing another couple of valium pills into her mouth and finishing almost half the bottle of alcohol, the pain of seeing Alexander’s ring on another woman was finally dulled. The last thing she remembered was staring out at the crashing waves of the ocean before the numbness took over.

~~~~~~~~~~

Cam left his house early, anxiously hoping that Olivia hadn’t found out the news in the past hour that he’d been gone. He sped through town, recalling the fragile state Olivia was in earlier that day. The longer he sat at each stop light, the more irritated he became. As storm clouds rolled in, a bad feeling formed in his gut.

He pulled up to Olivia’s house and leapt up the stairs onto her deck, tapping gently on the door. There was no answer. Then he heard a gentle scratching on the other side of the door, coupled with a loud meow. He stilled, continuing to listen. He heard it again, wondering what Olivia’s cat was doing. He knocked again, becoming rather concerned. Several moments passed and all he could hear was Nepenthe’s scratching and meows. He tried the door, but it was locked. Walking over to the front window and peering inside, his heart fell. Olivia was sprawled out on the floor, a liquor bottle lying beside her, the contents of a prescription bottle poured out on the coffee table.

“OLIVIA!” he shouted, running back to the front door, desperately trying the lock again. When it wouldn’t give, he took a deep breath and kicked the door jam, forcing the door open.

He ran to her, grabbed her in his arms, and carried her to the bathroom, frantically trying to find a pulse. Sticking his hand down her throat, he tried to force her to vomit, hoping that he wasn’t too late. Finally, he felt her shudder and gag before she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Cam breathed a sigh of relief when he saw four blue pills fall out of her mouth, hoping that was all she took.

He rubbed her back while she came around, dry heaving. “Let it go, Libby. Just let it go,” he comforted her as she collapsed on the bathroom floor, curling up in a ball.

“It hurts too fucking much, Cam,” she wailed out, convulsing on the cold tile.

Fuck
. He had never heard pain as intense as the hurt in Olivia’s voice. He wouldn’t wish that on even his worst enemies. It was excruciating watching her shake, clutching her knees as her body continued to spasm.

“You need help, Libby. You just fucking overdosed. If I didn’t find you when I did…” His voice trailed off, not wanting to think about what would have greeted him if he left his house a minute later.

“I’m not suicidal, Cam. I felt a panic attack coming on so I took a few pills.”

“How many did you take?”

“Four. I just wanted to be numb for a little bit.”

Cam wrapped his arms around Olivia, thankful that she expelled all the pills she took. “You’re only supposed to take one, and not with alcohol, Libby. Jesus…” A tear fell down his face, the adrenaline pumping through his body finally subsiding.

The aftershocks of violently ridding her stomach of its contents continued to consume Olivia’s body as she shook in Cam's arms. “He’s engaged. He’s really gone now, and it hurts,” she sobbed.

“Come on, Libby. I know there’s a fighter in there somewhere. Are you really going to give up? I saw the pictures. If you ask me, that’s not a guy who’s too sure about anything. He doesn’t look happy, and I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. You need to go talk to him, at least. Get closure.” He gently rubbed her back, leaning down to kiss her head. “Make him tell you to your face that he’s happy with that redheaded bimbo.”

Olivia laughed through her tears. “She does look a little bit like a bimbo.”

“There’s my girl,” Cam crooned as he continued rocking her in his arms. “How do you feel?”

“A little light-headed,” she responded, her voice raspy.

“Probably because you have no food in your system.” He squeezed Olivia tight, relieved that she was coming around. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to order a ton of pizza, and we’re going to stay in and watch stupid movies all night long. Sound good?”

Olivia looked through her tear-soaked eyes into Cam's vibrant silver ones brimming with hope. She nodded. “Yes.”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead before lifting her in his arms and carrying her over to the couch. As he ordered pizza, Olivia grabbed her laptop, finding the photo that sent her over the edge less than an hour ago. Cam eyed her suspiciously as he placed the rather large order with a local pizza house. She gave him a reassuring nod before returning her eyes to the screen in front of her.

Cam was right. There was something very off about Alexander’s expression in the photos. And it wasn’t just in one photo. It was in
all
of them. He looked like a shell of his former self, as if he was simply going through the motions, desperate to overcome something…to overcome her. At that moment, Olivia knew that he hadn’t moved on. She had to act fast.

“So what are you going to do?” Cam asked, plopping down on the couch next to her after putting on a Blu-Ray of
Old School
.

She shrugged. “What I have to do. I need to see him, beg him to take me back, even after everything I’ve put him through, and hope that there’s part of him that still cares enough to forgive me.”

Cam put his arm around Olivia and pulled her close. “Good,” he said quietly, trying to hide the lump that had formed in his throat at the thought of her no longer being in his life. It was bittersweet, but he knew Olivia needed to go for her own survival. And as much as Cam wished she would be able to forget about Alexander Burnham, he knew that would never happen. He was still concerned about her, particularly after what had happened that evening, but he knew that once she was back where she belonged, she would get the closure she needed and begin to move on.

That night, Cam savored his time with Olivia, knowing that she would leave the island in the next few days. They sat on her couch most of the night, gorging themselves on pizza, mozzarella sticks, and fried zucchini as they watched movie after movie, laughing. Every time Cam thought how he could get used to doing that with her, he had to remind himself that she needed to leave. His heart ached, but he refused to be the one to keep her in pain and hurting.

As Olivia slept with her head on his lap, he decided it was time to go. He tried to re-adjust her body so he didn’t wake her, but had no such luck.

“Where are you going?” she asked drowsily, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“It’s late. I should go home.”

“Wait. No. Stay. Please.”

Cam looked at her, the hesitation clear on his face.

“It’s just, I’m going to miss you when I leave, and I want to spend as much time with you as I can before then.”

“When are you planning on heading back?” Cam asked.

“Day after tomorrow, I think. I have to pack so I’ll need a day to do that. Please. Stay with me until I go.”

Cam sighed, dropping back down on the couch next to her. “Do you have any idea how impossible it is to say no to you?”

Olivia giggled as she nuzzled into Cam's arms, savoring the warmth and his smell.

“God, I’m going to miss that sound.”

“S
O
LOOKS
LIKE
YOU
’
RE
all set then,” Cam said a few days later after he finished loading up Olivia’s car with all her things. He closed the trunk and turned to look at the girl that had arrived out of nowhere back in October.

“Yup. Looks that way,” Olivia answered sadly. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was definitely going to miss Cam. Over the past few months, he had been her rock, the only person who understood her. A tear fell down her cheek, thinking how she would no longer see his smiling face every morning as she enjoyed her coffee. She wished she hadn’t avoided him those last few weeks.

“Hey, hey,” Cam said, wiping Olivia’s tear. “Enough of that. This isn’t good-bye, but you can’t stay here, Libby. You know that. You need closure so you can get on with your life. And then, if it all goes to hell, I’ll be here waiting for you.” He wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll always wait for you,” he whispered, kissing her gently on the top of her head before helping her into the car. As he watched her Audi disappear down Ocean Avenue, a tear fell down his face, hoping that wasn’t the last time he would ever see her.

The following evening, Olivia pulled off the Mass Pike and onto Huntington Avenue, heading toward her house, feeling overwhelmed as she drove past Boston Common Park. She missed her home, and that’s what Boston was. It was home.

She pulled her car in front of her house and grabbed Nepenthe, wondering how she would feel being back in the place filled with so many memories of Alexander. Her hands shaking, she punched her code into the keyless entry and opened the door before disarming the security system.

She walked into the kitchen and let Nepenthe out of his cat carrier. After helping him settle back into the house, she ran out to her car and finished unpacking her items before driving down the side alley, parking in the back.

Leaving all her things in the living room, she walked up to her master bedroom. Everything was exactly as she had left it. Nothing had changed, but everything was different. Everything reminded her of Alexander. She walked over to the bed that was still covered with the clothes she haphazardly threw around as she was packing to flee town. She flopped down on what had become Alexander’s side of the bed and inhaled. Months had passed, but it still smelled like him. She shot up, tears threatening to fall once more. She couldn’t stay there.

She ran downstairs and put Nepenthe’s bowls out, filling his food and water. “I’m sorry, pal. I just can’t stay here, but I’ll be back every day to check on you.” She picked up her cat and gave him a kiss before he leapt out of her arms, more interested in his food.

She grabbed her suitcase and re-armed her system, leaving her house again. But this time, she wasn’t running. She just needed to collect her thoughts. And she couldn’t sleep in that bed, not when it smelled so much like Alexander.

She drove around town and soon found herself on her way to Arlington. She didn’t know why, but she wanted to see Mo. About twenty minutes later, she parked her car outside Mo’s house and sat there for several long moments, staring blankly at the steering wheel before finally gathering enough courage to get out of the car. As she walked up the front steps and rang the doorbell, she thought about how Mo would react when he saw her standing on his doorstep after being gone for so long. A few moments passed and she didn’t hear anything stirring. She rang again and finally heard some shuffling.

Mo pulled back the door to his house, curious as to who it could be that late at night. He almost couldn’t believe his eyes. Olivia stood at his front door, looking frail, a shell of her former self. He had seen her at her lowest of lows, but this was unlike anything he had ever seen before.

“Livvy?! Oh, my god! Get in here!” he said, pulling her toward him, hugging her tightly.

Olivia tried so hard to stay strong, but she couldn’t take it anymore. All her emotions and everything she had felt over the past several months came rushing forward. She sobbed as Mo walked her toward his living room. He gingerly lowered her to the couch and simply held her as she cried. He was so thankful that she was okay. Or as okay as she could be.

After several minutes of just sitting there, Olivia’s tears started to wane. Mo kept holding onto her. He didn’t want to say anything. He just wanted to hold her, hoping that he wouldn’t wake up and it all be a cruel dream. Brushing her hair behind her ear, he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

Olivia looked into his dark eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mo,” she exhaled, tears starting to flow down her face again.

“Hey. Don’t cry, Livvy. It’s okay. Just tell me what’s going on and I’ll do whatever I can.” He had a feeling that after news of Alexander’s engagement got out, she might return to Boston. But never did he expect to see her looking as horrible as she did.

“I ruined everything, like I always do. I push people away trying to protect myself, but it never works out, does it?”

“I won’t ask if everything’s okay because that seems like such a stupid question. I know things aren’t. But tell me what I can do right now.”

She looked at him and snuggled into his embrace once more. “You’re doing it. Thank you.” Before Olivia knew it, she had fallen asleep, grateful to be back where she belonged.

~~~~~~~~~~

Alexander’s phone had been buzzing all night, but he was enjoying his time out with Chelsea. She had become a breath of fresh air those past few months, and he was actually starting to look forward to their wedding. While he still thought about Olivia more than he should, Chelsea was a nice distraction.

He walked Chelsea out of his favorite Italian restaurant in the North End, the memory of taking Olivia there after the Red Sox game all those months ago was still strong. But he was eager to replace all those old Olivia memories with new ones. Happier ones. It was the only way he could continue to move on.

Martin pulled up outside of the restaurant. “My place, Miss Wellington?” Alexander asked, taking Chelsea’s hand and kissing it gently.

She giggled. Alexander cringed a little. It was a high-pitched squeal type of a giggle. It wasn’t Olivia’s giggle. “I’d love to, Alex,” she said, pushing him aside and getting into the SUV. “But you do know that, at some point, we are going to have to move in together.”