A Treatise on Shelling Beans (21 page)

When we heard they were taking him away we ran to the rec room, grabbed whatever instruments we could, whether or not they were working, and we stood on the parade ground the way he’d arranged us that time as an orchestra, in any case more or less like that, it didn’t really matter. The ones who didn’t have instruments also gathered around us, because the whole school turned out. When they led him out, we all took up our instruments as if we were about to start playing. But we didn’t play, we just stood there.

He was walking with his head down, he didn’t even look at us. They put him in the back seat of the car, one guy on one side of him, another guy on the other. They were just about to set off when he jerked forward and shouted:

“Long live music, boys!”

You didn’t know him? That’s too bad. Did you know the Priest maybe? I don’t mean an actual priest. That was just what we called him, the Priest. He even let me call him that, though I was a lot younger than him. A welder, he was. We worked on a building site together. Because I was thinking that if we found some people we knew in common, maybe we’d find ourselves too, the two of us, at some time or other, some place or other. I sometimes think of somebody I used to know, and he leads me right away to some other person I knew, then that person leads to someone else, and so on. And I’ll be honest, there are times I find it hard to believe I used to know one guy or another. But I must have, since they remember meeting me someplace, at such-and-such a time. One guy, it even turned out we’d played in the same band years ago, him on the trombone, me on the sax. Though he’s dead now. But people we know can lead us all kinds of ways, even to places we’d never want to go.

One guy abroad told me about these two brothers he used to know who’d fought on opposite sides in a civil war. Brothers on opposite sides, you can imagine what ruthless enemies they must have made. But the war was ruthless too. People killed each other like they wanted to drown each other in blood. Civil wars are much worse than ordinary wars, as you know. Because there’s no
greater hatred than the kind that comes from closeness. So when the war ended they continued to be enemies. They lived in the same village, but they wouldn’t allow their wives to talk to one another, or their children to play together. And it goes without saying that they themselves never spoke a word to each other. But they both used to go to the same bar. It was another matter that there was only one bar in the village. They’d sit at separate tables, drink their beer, read the paper. If there was only one newspaper, when one of them finished reading it he’d put it back where he got it, even if his brother’s table was nearer. The other one did the same thing if he was the first one to read it.

But the one who finished reading first didn’t leave. He went on drinking his beer, as if he was waiting for his brother to finish reading. Almost every day they’d show up at more or less the same time, as if they knew when they were supposed to come. They drank their beer, read the paper, the second one after the first one or the first one after the second one, then when their glasses were empty they’d leave. The second one after the first one or the first one after the second one, just the same. It never happened that one of them finished his beer sooner and left. They didn’t have to sneak glances, you could easily see the beer in their glasses. Or maybe because they were brothers they had the same rhythm? In any case they drank at the same pace. And that seemed to show they hadn’t stopped being brothers. Because as for words, the war had killed the words in both of them for good.

The years passed, and they got older. One of them went gray, the other one lost his hair, and they kept coming to the bar, one of them at one table, the other one at the other, they drank their beer and read the newspaper. And each time they’d put it back where they got it. They needed eyeglasses to read now, and they weren’t that steady on their feet. But neither of them would give the paper to the other one when he was done with it. Then they’d finish their beer, one of them would leave and the other one would leave right after. All those years, neither of them said so much as:

“Here, here’s your paper.”

That one sentence might have been enough. Because who knows if with that single sentence they wouldn’t have said everything they hadn’t said to each other all those years. You can fit an awful lot into one sentence. Maybe everything. Maybe a whole lifetime. A sentence is the measure of the world, a philosopher once said. That’s right, the same one. I sometimes wonder if the reason we have to say so many words throughout our life might be in order for that one sentence to emerge from among them. What sentence? Everyone has their own. One that you could utter in a fit of despair and not be lying. At least to yourself.

If only you’d known the Priest. You know, the welder. I couldn’t tell you. I don’t even know what his first name was. Everyone always just said, the Priest. His first name and last name got lost somewhere along the way. You know what, you even resemble him a bit, now that I look at you. Hand to God. There’s something of him in your features, in your eyes. Of course, I mean when you were younger, as I imagine you. He was still young then too. A lot older than me, but I was no more than a kid back then. It was only my second building site, and I worked on the first one less than a year. When you lift your head a bit that way it’s like I was looking at him. Stop shelling a moment. When your hands stop moving your face is clearer. Now I’m not so sure. Maybe a little.

Why Priest? He’d trained to be a priest, spent three years in seminary, but he gave it up. That he never told me. But he kept his surplice and stole, and his Bible, he had them in a separate little suitcase that he kept locked. Though on a building site like that, who wouldn’t open another person’s suitcase and take a look inside? Especially one that was locked. Before he went to sleep he’d always kneel by his bed and pray for a long time. He never missed Sunday Mass. So it was all the more of a temptation to open the suitcase. Work on the building site often continued on a Sunday, especially if it was running behind, but he always had to go to Mass.

Of course he got into trouble, he was written up, they docked his bonuses. At the worksite meetings they claimed it was because of people like him that the building was behind schedule. That there were too many believers on the
site, and he was an example to them. Though he was no exception. All kinds of people worked on building sites in those days. Building sites were like hiding places. So if they’d wanted to get rid of all those of one kind or another, there wouldn’t have been anyone left to do the job. Not to mention the fact that there’d have been no tradesmen whatsoever. And he was one of the best welders. Maybe even the best of all. All the other welders would go to him for advice. Plus, he was hard-working. If there was some urgent job that needed doing he wouldn’t leave the site till it was done, even if he had to work through the night. He didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t go to dances. He kept away from girls. In his spare time he read. In that respect he was an exception, because everyone else drank in their spare time. Even before he went to sleep, however exhausted he was, he’d always say he had to take up his book and read at least a couple of pages. One time when I’d climbed the scaffolding to where he was, he said to me that books are the only way for a human not to forget that he’s a human. Him, in any case, he couldn’t live without books. Books are a world too, a world that you choose for yourself, not the one you’ve come into.

He kept trying to persuade me, till in the end I started reading too. I thought to myself, it’s no skin off my nose, I’ll give it a try, especially because I liked him. He’d asked me one time if I wouldn’t like to read a book. I was reluctant, said I had to do this and that, I didn’t have time. In the end, just to please him I told him to bring me something. He had a few books, he kept them in another suitcase, that one he didn’t keep locked so no one looked in it. And that was how things began. There was a second book, a third. Then he said there weren’t any more books for me, because the ones he had would be too difficult. So he took me to the library. There was a little library on the site, a few shelves. He poked about and in the end he picked out something for me. When I’d finished it he went back with me and chose something else. Let me tell you, out of respect for him I eventually started to read of my own free will. And like him, before I went to sleep I had to read at least a few pages.

It’s strange you didn’t know him. Everyone on the site knew him, he was
well liked. He was always impartial and fair. Well-disposed towards everyone. He’d stop and talk with each person. Even if he was in a hurry he’d at least ask you about this or that. And he always remembered when something had been bothering you the last time you spoke to him. He’d lend you a few zloties if you needed it. If a cat or a dog wandered onto the site, he’d feed them. And the best proof of what a good welder he was is that he worked on the highest places. When a building was going up he’d always be at the very top. He was never secured. Never held on to anything. He didn’t even turn off his torch as he moved from one joint to another. He walked across the girders like an acrobat. And you have to know that the higher up the work, the better a welder you have to be.

Sometimes he’d look down from way up there and see me crossing the yard, and he’d call to me to come up to him for a moment because there was something he wanted to tell me. I’d go up there if I didn’t have anything urgent on. He liked me, I couldn’t say why. I was just a kid compared to him. He said it was a good excuse for a break when I went to see him. No, it wasn’t like we talked about anything special. He’d ask me if I’d finished the book he picked out for me last time at the library, if I’d liked it, what I thought about it. It wasn’t that he was checking whether I’d read it, rather if I’d got it. He guided me in how to understand it. He’d relate it to different things, life, the world, people in general. And always in the course of things he’d say something that made me think for a long time afterwards.

We didn’t only talk about books. He’d say that it was only here, up at a height, that we can feel human. That was a truth I only grasped much, much later. Especially because down below people mostly didn’t talk, there the work hurried you all day long, or you were driven crazy because they hadn’t delivered some materials or other and the work was at a standstill. Unless it was over vodka, but then you had to watch who you drank with, because they’d sometimes snitch on you. Actually, they also snitched on you when you didn’t talk. Even if all you did was let out a sigh.

He said that on all the building sites he’d been on, he always worked as high up as he could get. And since he’d worked on so many sites, the high places were sort of his territory, so it was no surprise that it was up there he most liked talking. Down below, when he came down after work, he read, fed the dogs and the cats, and he didn’t keep company with anyone. Despite the fact that, like I said, everyone liked him. Naturally he earned a lot more working up there. But it wasn’t about the money for him.

So can you imagine it, one day during lunch, word went around that the Priest had fallen to his death. Some people said he’d fallen, others that someone else must have had a hand in it, still others that he’d fallen deliberately. Otherwise he would have been holding his torch and had his goggles on. Whereas he’d set the torch aside and taken his goggles off. But we never learned the truth. The cause of it may have been concealed up above there. The construction had already reached the fifth floor. And the floors were high ones, the building was going to be a factory. When you get used to the high places like that, maybe you can’t get over the fact that you live down below. With high places there’s no messing around. Me too, whenever I climbed up to visit with him, I always felt something either pulling me downwards, or drawing me even higher.

If you ask me, though, the truth lay elsewhere. There was a girl. She worked in the cafeteria. No, nothing of that sort. I told you he kept away from girls. He liked her, the feeling was mutual. He was gentle, polite, not like the rest of us. The most he did was when she’d bring the soup or the main course, he’d admire her braided hair, say how beautiful it was, how you hardly ever saw hair like that anymore. It was true, her braid was as thick as my wrist here. And it reached all the way down past her waist at the back. Everyone would tug at it as she brought their food.

Not me. For some reason I was too shy. Besides, I’d only recently come to work on the site. When she put my soup or main course in front of me I didn’t even look at her, I only ever saw her from a distance. The other guys had known her for a long time. She’d gotten used to having her braid pulled. I won’t lie, I
liked the look of her from the start. And she knew it right away. One time she leaned over to my ear and whispered, You should tug on my braid too, see what it feels like. I didn’t. But I decided that even without that, she’d still be mine. When the right moment came I’d tell her. For the while I didn’t let anything show. I never even said to her, You look nice today Miss Basia, or Basieńka – Barbara was her name. Though everyone said that to her every day. When she brought me my plate I’d say, Thank you. That was it. Other guys, they wouldn’t have been able to eat if they hadn’t pulled at her braid or at least said, You look nice today Miss Basia, or Basieńka.

Sometimes she’d spill the soup because someone tugged at her braid before she’d had time to put the bowl down. Plus, some of them had hands twice the size of yours or mine, rugged and strong. She’d even break a plate at times trying to free herself from a hand like that. A good few plates or bowls got broken because of that braid of hers. Same when she was clearing the empty plates away.

One day she was carrying plates with the main course on a tray, six plates if I remember correctly, when someone grabbed her braid, even though she wasn’t going to his table, she was just passing by. The tray wobbled in her hands and all the plates crashed to the floor. They were going to fire her on the spot. Luckily the guy did the right thing and paid for all the plates and all the food. After that the men were more careful, they only tugged at her braid once she’d put the plates on the table, otherwise every last plate would have gotten broken, and not through any fault of hers. Unless you could blame the braid. If you ask me, girls or women who work in cafeterias, especially on building sites like that, they shouldn’t be too good-looking. Nice, polite, of course, but not too good looking.