A Vampire To Watch Over Me [Vampire Coven Book II] (18 page)

Tavish made exemptions to his ruling. Human children hadn’t been shown the Anivamps until they turned eight—this law was no different. All pregnant females were also exempt, but were given stern warnings which all were happy to obey. Waddling over a twenty-foot-high fence wasn’t on the women’s to-do list either way. Also, Honor who had already seen Cronos, and Cara who had her own run in with the Kodiak. Both Tavish and Dante were convinced she would never again go over the wall.

Tavish took the blame for Meg’s indiscretion; many agreed she had been through enough, and Dash took his responsibility to heart. Normally a somewhat cavalier vampire, Dash began to realize just what taking care of a former ice dweller entailed.

“How the hell can someone be afraid of a gas burner?” Dash asked Laken. “It’s just fire.”

“It’s magic fire.” Laken winked at Honor.

“You explain all the fun away sometimes,” Honor complained. “I was perfectly content to believe writing on the books you showed me printed themselves, the way a story is told, word after word. But no, you laughed at me and explained about printers and publishers and something called edits that sound ghastly.”

Laken started laughing. “Dash, have you showed Meg the microwave? You know it heats the food with magic little men who rush up to the food and heat it with hot rocks.” Honor was glaring at him. Laken was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. “Or, or hail, did you know hail is thrown by disgruntled angels who have contests to see how many points they get for each human they hit?” By now, Dash was laughing.

“Laken, did you know thunder talks to the clouds in a foreign language?” Dash and Laken were just about killing themselves from howling. “And lightning is a
swear
word with an exclamation point.”

“All right, you two,” Honor cut in, “we may not understand some things, but sarcasm we get. You’ve had thousands of years to learn things. We’ll be lucky to get to a hundred.”

The thought sobered Laken immediately. The humans in this coven had a lifespan of perhaps sixty-five. Tavish wouldn’t feed non-breeders forever. Laken had perhaps forty or so years with Honor. After living sixteen thousand years, Laken knew just how pathetically short a human life was. For the first time ever, a panic settled into Laken’s chest. Like Ginger, Honor would grow old, maybe diseased at some point. Tavish would take her like he had taken Ginger over the fence and after her life was sucked from her body, she would be given to the likes of Cronos.

Nanya’s face swam before his eyes and turned into Honor. Would it be another sixteen thousand years before he would see her again? Laken turned to Dash.

“Dash, will you keep an eye on Honor? I need to speak with Tavish.”

Laken took to the sky after a curious nod from Dash. Tavish wasn’t hard to find; Laken could call him and Tavish would go to him. They met at a clear pond over the wall, away from human and vampires. Tavish assessed him quietly and waited for Laken to begin.

“I can’t lose her again,” Laken said.

Tavish sighed. “Honor is not Nanya.”

Laken was a bit stunned, he hadn’t realized Tavish remembered Nanya, then again, Tavish remembered everything.

“She looks like Nanya, but that’s all there is to it, a resemblance, nothing more. Honor is so un-Nanya-like in so many ways,” Laken said and began to pace.

“You want me to turn her?” Tavish asked.

“No, and yes,” Laken stopped abruptly. “I want what you and Dante and a few other vampires have.”

“Laken, it’s been a long time since you have cared for a child. You watched Ginger grow up, you loved her, yet you didn’t want her turned. Why Honor?”

“I was so busy with you and the coven in the beginning, I never took a human child under my wing until Ginger. I wasn’t in love with Ginger’s mother; I never really knew her. Dante watches over those girls like they are his children. He loves Cara and I can see it saddens him to watch her grow old.”

“If every vampire were to take a wife and turn their children, we would die out. In time, things can change, but not now.”

“Are you saying you won’t turn Honor?”

“Is that what she wants?” Tavish asked. He placed a hand onto Laken’s shoulder. “Ask her first before you enter into a battle of words and will with me, my friend. You have always been my brother, you have always ruled at my side. Make certain you don’t want this because you think Honor is somehow Nanya. She will never be Nanya; don’t fool yourself into a disbelief or you will regret it. And Laken? No, I won’t turn Honor.”

Laken frowned as Tavish flew off. He couldn’t go against his sire—his brother and best friend. Did he on a subconscious level believe Honor was Nanya? Maybe, maybe not, but he knew he couldn’t lose Honor, but was it for the right reasons? Laken had been taught by his father that honor was everything to a man. How far would he be willing to go for
his
Honor?

* * * *

“You’re so quiet tonight,” Honor said.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“About us?”

Laken jumped to his feet and took Honor by her hand and pulled her to his chest. They were soon moving swiftly across the darkness of the sky. He took her to the same cave he had brought her to when she had first arrived at the coven. Laken started a fire and set her on an old fur.

“Sometimes I come here to think,” Laken said and settled beside her.

“You like caves?”

“I’ve spent more of my life in caves than out. I was born in a cave. I grew up in a clan, we lived in caves. There were caverns that went off from the main cave—a little something like your labyrinth ice dwelling, but not as cold. I had picked out my own dwelling and had started to fill it with things Nanya and I would need when we mated.”

“She was younger?”

“Much younger. She was the first woman—besides my mother, who I ever loved.”

Laken seemed so brooding to her. Honor wondered if being in the cave with her reminded him of being with Nanya. “Did you ever have sex with Nanya?”

“No. The moment her father died, my father, the leader of our clan, decided she needed a mate to protect her and provide for her. I wanted her and had chased off any other man who went near her. My father wasn’t surprised I offered to kill Ursus to have Nanya.”

Honor was stunned. “You went after Tavish’s bear—alone?”

“I was impetuous and full of myself—stupid.”

“You loved her a great deal,” Honor mumbled.

Laken cupped her chin. “If I were to close my eyes and turn back the clock, it would be Nanya I would be sitting here with. But then I have to ask myself if that’s what I want. Nanya was frail; knowing what I know today, I think she had a weak heart. Her first pregnancy would most likely have killed her. In my ignorance, I thought I could save her.”

“You wanted to have children with her.”

“Very much. It was a blow when Tavish told me I’d never have a child. I wanted a whole handful. Back then, a hunter was regaled each time his mate had a child; it proved his prowess. If Nanya would have had a child and died, I would have been less desirable. Our women and clan thought a woman’s death during pregnancy meant her mate’s essence was malicious towards a female. Unless, of course, the woman had many children, then it was understood she was tired if she died and deserved a rest. She was then honored and given many gifts to take into her afterlife.”

“Your people had strange ideas,” Honor said, doing some of her own brooding.

“I would say it was innocence. The twenty-first century had people with strange ideas. To me, war wasn’t innocence but ignorance on their part. Knowledge was available, as was compassion and common sense, people just chose to ignore it. Man’s inhumanity towards man. I’ve seen so much senseless killing.”

“And me? What would you classify me as?” she asked.

“Definitely innocence.”

Laken brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. His stunning blue eyes almost took her breath away with the intensity of his gaze. He settled her back against the fur. Honor wasn’t so innocent; she didn’t understand what he was doing. In some way he still thought of her as Nanya, but in order to love Honor he needed to let Nanya go. Could he? Honor knew she was about to find out.

She wanted to be loved for who she was, not who he wanted her to be. Laken had told her she only resembled Nanya; she didn’t act like her. Hopefully it would be enough for him to differentiate between them. Honor knew one thing, it didn’t matter who he loved; she loved him. That was the burden of knowing how to love, it couldn’t be controlled; it could be evasive, but it didn’t lie. Laken needed to know where his heart lay, and if he needed Honor to be Nanya for just a moment in time—she would.

Chapter 12

With sweet tenderness Laken stripped her of her lingerie and just gazed at her.
Honor tugged his shirt over his head, wanting to feel his skin against hers. Honor thought Laken was going to make love to her, instead he very gently laid her back on the fur. He whispered to her not to be afraid, he needed her. Honor made no move to stop him when he turned her head and the tips of his fangs buried into her throat. Laken took her on a journey—to his soul.

The pitter patter of raindrops landed at the front of the cave. The fire crackled in what Laken had called a hearth. Honor could see the children Laken wanted running underfoot on the white bear rug he had skinned for her. A flask sat on a log that had been pulled in to sit on with a fur draped over it for comfort. Honor was dressed in furs, as were her children who were laughing and happy. It was apparent Laken was an exceptional provider.

Laken had his back to her and Honor went to him, expecting to see his smiling eyes. When he turned, she saw instead of laughter they were filled with tears. She felt each pain as the tears dropped. It was as though she were inside of him. Honor lifted her hand to wipe them away. Laken caught her fingers and pressed them to his chest.

“Thank you.” He wept.

“I don’t understand.”

“This is an illusion—
my
illusion. I come here alone, but this time I have you to make it real—but it still isn’t. It’s of what will never happen. There is no life here with Nanya. She’s gone; she’s never coming back. I swore to her I would find her, I failed. And now I need to say goodbye.”

Honor was no longer standing before Laken; she felt her gaze watching from a corner in the dark. Laken had Nanya’s hands in his; it was now she who wiped the tears from his eyes. They were speaking quietly. Laken apologized to her; he had never meant to harm her. She neither forgave him nor did she accuse him. Honor realized why.

One by one, the children disappeared beginning with the youngest, then the hearth and the log. The furs vanished until Laken and Nanya stood, fingers splayed, until Nanya smiled and stepped back. Her body shimmered and she was gone. The image shattered like glass—there would be no reassembling the pieces. Once more, Honor lay on the fur in the cave with the fire brightly burning. Laken was still weeping.

“You said goodbye,” Honor whispered.

“Nanya has been an illusion, I’ve kept her and my children in my heart for far too long. Images of what could have been, what might have been; it was all a lie. I would have lost her with our first child. I couldn’t have gone on if my reality was taken away. In a way, Tavish saved me the day he killed me. If I had simply left, Nanya would have been blamed for my loss. She may have been given to another—a lesser warrior. It would have killed her.

“Killing her the way I did, she died surrounded with a loving family—they were only my images, but it was the closest she ever would have gotten. We lived a lifetime in those seconds. It would have been too hard for me to watch her on the sidelines while someone else mated her. It would have killed me to hear her screams of agony while trying to give birth, then fail. I might have been wrong, but I don’t think so, Nanya’s mother was frail and died giving birth to her—Nanya’s father never took another mate.

“I’m not saying what I did was right, but I can forgive myself, now. I wanted to protect her and in the strangest of ways I did. She loved me, she would have forgiven me.”

“I think she did,” Honor said, but she wondered if Laken, knowing what he knew now, would have turned her. Would it have cost him his life? Tavish was coven leader, no other vampire was to be turned without his permission—would he have killed Laken for treason?

“Honor, if you could live forever, would you?”

The question took her by surprise. “Why?”

“I don’t know if I can give you up when the time comes.”

Honor lay in his arms playing with his chest hairs. “I love watching Galf and Mercy together. Tavish is very proud of his family. So much in this place can be scary at times, but you seem to make everything better.” Honor paused and collected her thoughts—she knew what Laken was asking—would Tavish kill him if he turned her? “Maybe one day I’ll want to be immortal, but not right now. I want to live as a human before I die and turn into a vampire. If that’s what you’re offering. I’ve never really lived; I want to know what it’s like. I need to get used to this life first before another type is given to me. I don’t want to be shared with other men but if I can’t have your child, I want mine.”

“I want what Tavish has,” Laken said. He sounded a little disappointed.

“Cara has given Dante six girls. I can give you children to love—in a way, they will be yours.”

“Dante loves them all, but all too soon Cara won’t be of childbearing years. She has been a real asset to our coven and will live out her life watching her children grow, maybe even a few grandchildren, but life ends so fast for a human.”

“Laken, you have lived a long time. I haven’t; don’t make me old before my time. For heaven’s sake, you have me ancient and on my last breath already,” Honor said and rolled her eyes.

“I suppose telling you your life is like the blink of eye really isn’t setting the mood?”

Honor punched him in the gut. He laughed and rolled onto his back. Honor sat up and slipped her leg over his hips. She gripped the button of his jeans and unhooked it, her fingers played with his zipper for mere seconds before she slid it down. The pads of her thumbs stroked down the bulge of his white briefs admiring the length of him.