A Wedding at the Orange Blossom Inn (6 page)

But she couldn't help feeling that she'd been a little forgotten in the effort to preserve Sanford's memory. What about how
she
felt? What about
her
pain? Her loneliness? Sometimes it felt as though her in-laws and parents would never see her as anything more than Sanford's widow.

Didn't she matter anymore?

“I don't need reminders about what is in my heart,” she blurted.

“Of course not.”

“I'm the one who lost a husband. I don't need you reminding me about that.”

“I'm sorry if you thought I was inferring.”

“You were. I also know
what
you were inferring. For some reason, you both came over here to make sure I did nothing to ruin Sanford's place in my life.”

Rachel's eyes filled with tears. “I'm not sure why you are reacting like this.”

“Rachel, I know you care about me, and I am mighty grateful for that. But it isn't fair for you and Mamm to think you need to remind me about how I should be feeling. Or what I have lost. If I want to befriend a man who I have much in common with, you need to let me do that. Both of you do.”

Her mother looked on the verge of arguing, but to Emma's surprise, Rachel cut her off. “You are right, dear,” she said in her sweet way. “I'm so sorry if you thought we came over here to judge. I didn't mean to. You have every right to keep making friends. You have every right to be yourself. I promise, both your mother and I only want you to be happy.”

“Is that true, Mamm?” Emma asked.

“Of course, Emma. Rachel is right. We might have overstepped ourselves today. Maybe.”

But Emma knew that her mother was only backing down be
cause Rachel looked on the verge of pulling her out of the room if she didn't.

It was time to make amends. The three of them had been through too much together to dwell on disagreements. “Would you two ladies like to have some tea or
kaffi
and help me make three little girls dresses?”

Rachel opened her purse and pulled out her glasses. “You cut, I'll pin.”

“And I'll sew on your treadle,” her mother announced. “Why, with our help, I bet you can have them done by the time the girls come home from school.”

“That would be
wunderbaar
, Mamm,” Emma said quietly. When her mother's expression softened, she knew that her mother understood that she was talking about so much more than just the sewing project.

Emma hoped they'd feel the same way tomorrow, too.

A
re you sure Emma won't mind if we stop by today?” Jay asked William as they walked up the steps to the Keims' front door.

“She ain't going to mind at all. When I saw Miss Emma at school yesterday morning, she said I could stop by anytime. This is anytime, ain't so?”

It was comments like that that made Jay think the Lord had a sense of humor. Headstrong, eternally optimistic, and constantly in motion, his youngest was as different from his two older brothers as could be. He wasn't sure how he would have gotten through each day without William's quips and comments. “Perhaps, but sometimes people say things they don't mean,” he cautioned.

“Oh, she meant what she said, I'm sure of it. Lena said her
mamm
loves visitors.”

“All right. I guess we'll see if she likes
unannounced
visitors.”
Rapping his knuckles on the door, he said, “Don't forget your manners, Will.”

“I won't. But Daed, you don't have to have
gut
manners with Lena's
mamm
. You just have to be yourself.”

“That may be true, but still, I'd like you to be your
best
self,” he said just as Lena opened the door with a smile.

“Hi, Mr. Jay,” she chirped as she bounded out onto the porch. Her pink dress was a little on the short side, showing off her tan lower calves and bare feet. “Frankie and I were watching you out the window.”

She looked so proud of that fact, Jay realized she was expecting a response. “You were? I didn't see you there.”

“I was there. We didn't know if you were ever gonna knock. I wanted to open the door right away but Mamm said I had to wait until you knocked before opening it up. What took you so long?”

Before Jay could fashion a reply, Will walked right inside. “There was no reason. My father was being a worrywart.”

After bending down to greet Frankie, Jay said, “Is your mother around?”

“Oh,
jah
. She's sewing me a new dress.” Pointing to her ankles, Lena added, “I'm growing.”

“Actually, I'm right here,” Emma said as she joined them at the door. Smiling brightly, she said, “Come on in.”

Jay shut the door behind him just as William edged closer to Lena and whispered something in her ear.

The little girl grinned. “Mamm, can William and I go in the backyard with Mandy and Annie?”

“Sure, that is fine. Don't forget to look after Annie, Lena.”

“I won't.”

After the children disappeared, Emma clasped her hands in
front of her waist. “How are you, Jay? Seeing you here is a nice surprise.”

“I'm fine.” Feeling more awkward by the second, he added, “Um, I hope you don't mind that we came by without an invitation.”

“You now are officially invited to come over anytime you would like. Would you like to sit down?”

“Oh, sure. And since we're here anyway, I was hoping to talk to you about something. If you have time, that is.”

“Of course I have time.” She walked over and perched on the edge of a beautiful cherrywood rocking chair. After she smoothed a wrinkle in her violet dress, she smiled.

Jay sat down on her couch, liking the thick white canvas cover on it. He couldn't help but wonder, however, how in the world she kept a white couch clean with three little girls and one busy beagle.

Realizing she was patiently waiting for him to speak, he said, “It's about school and William.”

“Yes?”

He wasn't sure how to begin. “I thought about sending William to the elementary school near the farm, but there aren't many Amish kids who go there. Mark and Ben are done with their schooling, so I decided to ride with William on the SCAT every morning and take him to Pinecraft Elementary.”

“Since it's an Amish school, I can see why you would make that decision. I saw William yesterday when I dropped off the girls. He seemed happy enough.” Looking at him closely, a new concern entered her expression. “Or are you not happy with it?”

“I'm plenty happy with the school. I think it's going to be fine. Miss Meyer seems to be competent.”

“I think she does a
gut
job. There are almost thirty
kinner
in
the classroom and she handles everyone from first to fifth grade well.” She paused. “Does William not care for Miss Meyer? Some
kinner
don't do as well in a one-room school, you know. Around here, many Amish children simply go to the regular elementary schools, if that's what you're worried about. All of the English
kinner
are accepting of them. He'll make friends in no time.”

“
Nee
, he seems to like Miss Meyer and the school, too. It just looks like he's a little bit behind in his reading and math. Miss Meyer thinks that he'll get caught up in no time, but he's going to need some help.” Stumbling forward, he finally broached the idea that had been floating around in his head. “I wondered if you knew of someone I could talk to about helping him with his homework. Sometimes he needs a little extra help or explanation.”

“That doesn't seem like too much to ask.”

Now he was embarrassed. Emma was probably thinking he was the worst sort of father, a man who was not even willing to take the time to help his child when he needed it. “Here's the thing. I've got my hands full with the farm and the house and the produce stand. In order for us to start making a profit, I need to plant some fresh crops and see if there's a way to salvage some of the berry bushes and citrus trees that are already bearing fruit. All this takes time, you see.”

“To be sure.”

“I can do all that and help William, but I can't help him right after school, which is when it would be best for him. He gets tired after supper, and I know from experience that trying to get him to do homework that late is a recipe for disaster.”

“That sounds like my Mandy. When she gets tired, we all try to stay away from her until she falls asleep.”

He sighed in relief. “So you can understand why I'm asking?”

“Yes and no.”

“What don't you understand?”

“Jay, why don't you simply ask me for help?”

He was confused. “I did. I'm asking you for names of tutors.”

“Ask me to look after William after school. I'm home and I don't mind.”

“I couldn't ask that of you.”

“Why not? I'll be picking up Mandy and Lena anyway. And we always do homework in the early afternoons, after the girls have some time to play and a snack. William will fit right in.”

“But I couldn't ask it of you.”

“I offered. But I don't know why you wouldn't want to ask it of me anyway. We are two people in much the same situation. It's hard to do everything on one's own, I think. Even with my family nearby, it, well . . .”

“It isn't the same,” he finished.

“Exactly,” she said with a look of relief in her eyes. “Jay, I think we should be helping each other out as much as we can.”

Everything she said made sense, but it was hard to come to terms with the idea that he would be asking so much of Emma when they hardly knew each other. In addition, he didn't know how he would be able to return the favor. “Will you let me pay you?”

“For helping William?” Hurt flashed in her eyes. “Definitely not.”

He held up his hands. “I don't want to offend you, but I wouldn't have asked about getting help if I didn't intend to pay. I don't want to take advantage.”

Looking slightly more mollified, she said, “You are not taking advantage.”

Jay figured he should be coming up with a bunch of new rea
sons why he couldn't accept Emma's offer, but he really couldn't think of any. It was going to be an answer to his prayers. “Then, will you accept my thanks?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” He ran a hand through his hair, thinking yet again how challenging life had become since Evelyn's death. “Do you ever miss being married?” he asked suddenly.

She flinched. “What?”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up in such a clumsy way. It's just that while of course I miss Evelyn, there are times, like today, when I simply miss the ease of it. She took care of things like this.” Thinking about all the years he'd pretty much only worried about the fields while she'd dealt with Ben's and Mark's issues at school, he added, “My
frau
did a lot of things around the house and with our family that I didn't even realize until she got sick.”

“Tell me about her,” Emma said.

“I wouldn't know where to start.” Jay waited for the familiar pain that usually came from simply remembering Evelyn, but instead he only felt a curious emptiness.

“I can help you with that. What was she like?”

He blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Peaceful.”

“How so?”

He felt his cheeks flush. “She was a
wonderful-gut
mother and wife. She would have had all of us far better organized if she'd been in charge of the move.” Thinking about their relationship, he had to admit that in many ways he'd always felt like her protector. She'd needed him to help her find her way and he had gotten used to making her life easier. “She was quiet and a little shy. Kind of timid around strangers, too. But she was caring and helpful. She depended on me, but the boys also knew they could depend on her to give them her time. She loved to sit with them
and hear about their days.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman.”

“Evelyn was.” Only now did he realize that he wasn't pining for her in the ways he used to. He missed
her
, of course, but often he found that he was really missing her tasks around the house and with the
kinner
. He missed her help.

What did that say about him?

“Jay, what's wrong? You look like you swallowed a cricket!”

“I'm sorry, I was just remembering something.”

“Something bad?” Emma had such compassion in her eyes. In her blue eyes. Blue eyes that were framed by thick dark lashes and brows that swept up in a natural arc.

“Not at all.” He knew he was stumbling but he suddenly felt like he was Ben's age and trying to get a pretty girl's attention. “Tell me about Sanford. What was he like?”

She pressed one of her hands to her chest. “Oh, goodness. Well, he was organized, too. And he liked things in order. He loved his little girls dearly, too. He was a
gut
man.”

Jay noticed she didn't mention how much Sanford had loved her. He wondered if that was on purpose or if she simply thought it was understood. “I guess we both were blessed with good marriages.”

“We were. I was blessed. Still, I can't believe Sanford left me so young. But then again, I guess since we grew up together the Lord decided that we'd already had lots of time together.”

“I grew up with Evelyn, too. From the time I was twelve or thirteen, everyone assumed that we'd marry.”

“That happened with Sanford and me, too.” Looking back out at the front porch, she said, “We had a big wedding. Practically our whole church community was there.”

“The same thing happened with Evelyn and me.”

“It was nice.” Her voice had turned wistful. A little melancholy.

He was feeling the same way. “
Jah
, it was,” he agreed, though, “nice” didn't really cover the many emotions that had been running through him on their wedding day. He'd been glad to finally stop planning and worrying about everything going all right during the ceremony. He'd been eager to have Evelyn as his wife.

If he was being honest, he'd also been struggling with his emotions. Jay had begun to wonder if he and Evelyn had made the right decision, if their long friendship had really melded into a romance, or if they'd simply been too comfortable to want to shake up their lives.

Before he brought up any other topic that made him doubt how things had been between him and Evelyn, he got to his feet. “Well, I'd better collect William and get him home. Ben is no doubt waiting to ask me what time he can go see Tricia.”

“They sure seemed smitten when I saw them together,” she said as she walked to his side.

“I thought the same thing,” he said as he stepped outside into her backyard. What he saw there made him smile. William was playing tag with Lena, and Frankie was barking at their heels. It was obvious that the beagle knew he was an important part of the family and loved “his” girls very much. William bent down and ruffled his velvety-soft ears. Frankie had just closed his eyes in what looked like extreme happiness when Annie's squeal lit the air.

“There's Serena!” she called out, pointing to a slim gray cat reclining on a tree branch just on the other side of the fence in the front yard. The cat was staring down into Emma's yard like she'd just discovered a very plump canary.

Emma tensed as she stared at the cat, as if she feared it was
about to turn into a crazed mountain lion. “Oh, no.”

“What's wrong?” Jay thought the cat looked rather harmless, and he really couldn't understand why Annie had taken off running.

“So many things,” she muttered. More loudly, she said, “Serena is a roving cat. She doesn't seem to ever want to stay home. And Mrs. Sadler, her owner, bless her, never seems to keep track of her.”

He shrugged as Frankie ran to the fence and let out a howl. “That little cat will be okay. We always had a couple of barn cats back in Ohio. They're smart creatures.”

“Oh, Jay. That is not what I'm concerned about,” she said as she gazed at Frankie worriedly. “Girls, one of you grab Frankie's collar, wouldja?”

Jay chuckled. “Dogs and cats don't always fight, Emma. Why, we had a shepherd once who was practically best friends with one of our barn cats.”

“That ain't the case here.” She looked around at the girls who were still playing. “Oh, those girls never listen when I need them to. Excuse me, Jay.”