A Wedding In the Family (6 page)

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you felt.” Angela spoke softly. “Do you ever see him?”

“No. I haven’t seen him since he was eight months old,” he replied with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “It wouldn’t do either of us any good.” He looked
up and met Angela’s sorrowful gaze. “It’s in the past and that’s where it belongs.”

“But how can you trust anyone again after what happened to you?”

“It took a long time to recover from that. I did a lot of stupid, reckless things I’m not proud of, but one night I was watching television when a preacher came on and began talking about hope…forgiveness…starting life over again. Something gripped my heart in a way I can’t begin to explain. I got down on my knees right there in that apartment, and prayed—something I’d never done before in my life.”

Angela raised a hand to touch the corner of the smile that had begun to curve Adam’s mouth. Then her fingers moved down to his shoulder. “You trusted God.”

“Yes, and I knew He’d forgiven me and that He wouldn’t give up on me from that day on.” Adam’s smile widened and he leaned forward to brush Angela’s forehead with a kiss. “And because of that, I’m here with you.”

“Trusting me,” she whispered.

“You have to learn to do that, Angela, even though it’s not easy when you’ve been hurt.”

“It’s more me I can’t trust than you,” she explained. “My judgment of things—”

“Men?” he asked.

She nodded in agreement. “My marriage was not a good one, Adam. Not even in the best of times. Dan finally left me for someone else.”

“You’re afraid of that happening again? With me?” he asked quietly, carefully.

“I don’t know specifically what I’m afraid of. I just know that what I’m feeling for you now—what I’ve felt since that night at the Open House—frightens me. I didn’t want another relationship. I wasn’t looking for one.”

“Neither was I, but here we are, knee-deep in something that looks suspiciously like a relationship,” Adam said quietly. “Funny how things like that sneak up on you, isn’t it?”

Angela smiled, alleviating some of that worried look that had creased her brow. “Funny? Maybe. Frightening? Definitely.”

“It doesn’t have to be, not with us.” Adam’s warm hand touched the softness of her cheek. “We’re not kids, Angie. We won’t make promises we can’t keep. We’ll go slow, get to know each other, be open and honest…” His smokey gray eyes lowered to her mouth as he spoke.

“Honest, huh?” Angela remarked almost without thinking. Honesty would require her telling him how much she wanted another kiss like the one they’d shared in the garage. But it seemed that her clear gaze had already told him. “Adam,” she began, then edged a fraction of an inch closer before he closed the gap between them. His mouth brushed hers, softly at first and then more confidently, as both of her hands moved to rest against his shoulders. But before their kiss became more, it was brought to an abrupt end by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

“Your parents,” Adam said as he reluctantly released her. They stood up slowly.

Angela looked out the window and nodded. “With my kids.” She smiled, watching them pile out of their grandparents’ car and run toward the back door. Those children were her life, and had been for what seemed like forever. Where would her need for Adam fit into that scenario? Nathan might never adjust to the idea of a male authority figure in his world again—at least, not one beyond that of his grandfather or perhaps one of his teachers at school.

“Adam?” She spoke his name quietly and turned to see him move to open the back door for her approaching family. Her concern over so many conflicting feelings could be plainly read by him.

“It will be okay, Angie. Just give Nathan some time. He’s not ready to deal with this yet.”

Not yet, Angela knew. And maybe never. If that was the case, she’d walk away from what she could have with Adam. Giving the children a happy childhood—for what was
left
of their childhood—was her plan. She could not undo all of the emotional damage Dan had inflicted, but she would do what she could, no matter what the personal cost to herself. She had settled that issue in her mind long ago.

Adam sensed a determined spirit in Angela. It was one of the qualities that had attracted him to her, and he realized the significance of it. It was one of the things that could keep them apart. Of course, there were others. At least one.

He was polite but brief with his greeting to Angela’s parents and children when they entered, but he left as soon as he felt it was acceptable to do so, with no more than a smile in Angela’s direction as he departed. The steering wheel he touched was cold when he climbed into the cab of his pickup. He started the engine and moved the defroster to warm. Then he thought of Brandon—someone he used to think of often but rarely did anymore. He remembered giving him that warm bottle of formula during those middleof-the-night feedings, his warm little body snuggled close and his sweet baby smell. He remembered how Brandon would look up at him, his eyes full of trust and contentment, seemingly studying Adam’s face for as long as he could keep those little eyes open—which was never until the bottle was empty. He remembered how it felt to love a son.

“Lord, You know I’d have done just about anything for that boy,” he said quietly in the silence of the truck. Including staying in a marriage with a wife who didn’t love him. “Angela is exactly the same. If we’re going to work this out, if we’re right for each other…You’ll have to help us with Nathan. And help me find the right time—soon—to tell her…everything.” Then he headed home to the house that would feel empty tonight, more so than it had yesterday. Or any of the days that had gone before.

I
t was early the next afternoon when Angela picked up the ringing telephone. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Adam answered, “how are you?”

His voice was low and quiet, the way it usually was, and the familiar sound brought an instant smile to her lips. “Fine. And you?” she asked. For being 2:00 on a Sunday afternoon, her day was going incredibly well. The kids—all three of them—had their homework done, lunch was over and the kitchen cleaned up. Angela had another administrative report to go over before tomorrow morning, but it could wait.

“I’m okay,” he responded. “I have to go over to the center for a couple of hours, but first I wanted to thank you for yesterday.”

“For sitting on the floor in the kitchen with you?” she asked with a smile as she sat down at the dining room table.

His laugh was gentle. “The kitchen was good,” he remarked, “and the cookout…and the garage.”

Hmm, yes, the garage. That was good, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it so plainly. Aloud. Over this phone. “I had a wonderful day, Adam. Honestly.“

“Me, too. The kids okay?” he asked.

“Yes, they’re all right. They had fun.”

“What about Nathan?” Adam asked. He hadn’t missed any of the glimpses of negativity Nathan had shown on Saturday, and he was concerned about every one of them.

“He seems fine,” Angela replied, but she knew how Nathan
seemed
and how Nathan really
was
inside could be two very different things. “He is very good at masking his emotions.” Where did he learn that anyway? Angela glanced at a mirror hanging on the nearest wall to see the answer to her own question staring back at her.

“He’s a boy who misses his father,” Adam commented. “I doubt if he’d be open to the idea of spending time with me—hiking, golfing—I don’t even know what he likes to do.”

“Nathan and Dan didn’t really spend much time together. He loved his dad, but they weren’t especially close. I don’t know whether the absence of a doing-things-together kind of a relationship with Dan makes Nathan more likely or less likely to do something with you.”

“I’m not going to try until he knows me better. Let’s plan something for next weekend that we can
all do. How do you feel about fishing?” Adam asked. “Do you think Heather would be okay with that idea?”

“Heather will scream at first sight of a worm, but other than that—since it’s something
you
suggested—she’ll be delighted to go. She seems quite smitten with you, if you’ll pardon the use of an antiquated word.”

“I like antiquated words. I think some of them come from our generation. And the only person I actually know who is ‘smitten’ is me.”

“Good. Mission accomplished, I guess I should say,” she remarked with a smile. “So, fishing next weekend. Right?” Next weekend, she thought as her smile faded. It seemed so far away.

“Yep, weather permitting,” he responded. “Now, how about us? I can’t wait a whole week to see you. Would lunch tomorrow be possible?”

Angela’s lips curved back into a comfortable smile. “Yes. Would 11:45 work for you?”

“That’s fine. My schedule is flexible. Should I pick you up in front of the school?”

“No, there’s a parking lot in the back of the building for staff members. Pull in there, and I’ll find you.”

“See you then.”

“’Bye,” she replied, and hung up the phone. Tomorrow would be the first time this year that she’d leave the school building to have lunch. Maybe she could slip away for an hour without feeling guilty. Skipping her usual peanut butter sandwich, eaten at
her desk wouldn’t make her less of a principal, would it? Being a workaholic wasn’t in her job description unless it was to be read somewhere between the lines.

Of course, she thought, lots of things in life are exactly that—hidden somewhere between the lines. That definitely had been true with Dan. Sylvia had been the last such surprise. Angela certainly had not expected that. She hoped that whatever kind of relationship she and Adam shared in the coming days, it would be one of few surprises.

The next morning at school was filled with returning phone calls, two meetings with parents and a discussion with several teachers regarding a conflict in class activities as scheduled on the school calendar. The issue of an impending transportation problem was tabled when a bell rang signaling the end of fourth period. 11:45 a.m.

“Gretchen, we’ll continue this discussion when I come back from lunch,” she advised her secretary as she reached for her purse and car keys.

“You’re going out?” the young woman asked. “Is this a special occasion?”

Angela nodded her head as she started toward the door. “Yes, I’m having lunch with…a friend.”

Her secretary smiled and took a seat at the front desk. “Male or female?” she asked, her green eyes wide with curiosity.

“His name is Adam,” Angela responded. She looked back over her shoulder at the attractive blond secretary she’d worked with since taking this position,
and decided she’d made a good decision in meeting Adam outside the building.

“I thought I detected a little more perfume on you than usual this morning.”

Angela stopped in her tracks. “Too much?”

“No,” Gretchen responded with a light laugh. “It’s just right. Do I get to see this guy?”

“Not yet.” Angela turned the knob to let herself out of the office.

“Then when?” Gretchen persisted, watching her boss exit in an obvious hurry.

Angela glanced back over her shoulder. “After you gain about thirty pounds, age five years and cut that gorgeous blond hair.” She was pulling the door shut behind her just as Gretchen was saying something about Angela’s lack of self-confidence, a popular topic of her secretary’s. “I know, I know,” Angela responded, and closed the door quietly behind her, leaving the lecture unfinished.

Adam’s truck was parked next to her van toward the side of the lot, and he was standing outside reading over some papers he held in his hands. He looked up at the sound of her approaching. “Hi,” he said, smiling broadly.

Angela smiled back. “Hello,” she replied, feeling suddenly bold. If she followed her instincts, she’d lean forward to kiss him on the cheek, but sensibility prevailed. She resisted. Stuffy, old-fashioned sensibility. That and the fact that Gretchen was probably staring at them through the mini-blinds in the office window.

“Where shall we go?” Angela asked, and brushed some imaginary lint from her dark blue dress. The color accented the shade of her eyes. She wanted to feel attractive today, and from the admiring look in Adam’s gaze, she guessed she’d succeeded.

“Do you like pasta?” he asked, when he could recall the question he was supposed to be answering. “There’s a great restaurant a few blocks from here that I’ve been to several times.”

“Then let’s go there,” she responded, as he opened the door to the truck cab for her.

“I think I’ll try the lasagna.” Angela gave her order to the waitress. “And an iced tea, please.”

“Salad dressing?” the young woman serving them asked.

“Italian, please,” Angela answered, then listened to Adam order his spaghetti. In only a moment or two, the waitress was back with freshly baked bread and butter for them to enjoy while waiting for their orders. Angela cut into the warm loaf and shared it with Adam.

“Mmm, I love homemade bread,” she commented after the first bite. “My mother is a wonderful baker. Cinnamon rolls, whole wheat bread, biscuits…all kinds of delicious things.”

“Does she have one of those bread-making machines?” Adam asked.

Angela laughed. “I’d love to see her expression if she heard you ask that. She’d be highly insulted, I’m sure. Mom is usually very contemporary in her thinking,
but some things just don’t sit well with her. Using a machine to make homemade bread is one of them. She’s a ‘baked-from-scratch’ person until her dying day.”

“I suppose we’re all a little set in our ways at times,” he responded, just as the waitress delivered their salads and drinks. “So…have you inherited your mother’s talents in the kitchen?”

“Basically, I hate baking,” Angela confessed. “And cooking doesn’t exactly thrill me either, though I try my best for the kids.”

Adam laughed. “I appreciate your honesty. Is this a warning about your cooking?”

“Not at all. My cooking tastes okay,” she answered with a grin. “I haven’t lost a dinner guest yet, anyway. But don’t expect a pie unless it’s a special occasion.”

Their meals were delivered to the table promptly and they were actually able to eat and leave within less than an hour. But it would take far more than a lunch hour to continue their conversation. Angela felt as though she could talk to this man forever and still have thoughts she wanted to share, things she wanted to know about him.

“Thank you for lunch,” she said as they pulled into the staff parking lot in back of her school. “I enjoyed it very much.” She looked over at him, and he smiled as he covered her hand on the seat between them with his own;

“Could we do this again later in the week?” Adam asked.

“Tomorrow would be good,” she replied. He obviously was interested, perhaps as much as she was, and she wondered how long that would last. She’d seen loves that she thought would exist forever—most of them in her own family—but she’d never considered what it might be like to be a part of a relationship like that, to live with that confidence in her heart. “I should go,” she said. “Tomorrow?”

“Same time, same place,” he answered. Then he squeezed her hand. “I’m assuming that there’s to be no kissing the principal in this school parking lot?”

“You’ve assumed correctly,” she responded. “I could lose a lot of leverage with these kids if they began to view me as kissable.” She smiled and reached for the door.

“I’ll get it,” he said and got out to walk around to her side and open the door. “See you tomorrow.”

She nodded as he squeezed her hand and then let it slip from him. He returned to his truck and headed back toward the center for the remainder of his workday. He’d be there until closing tonight, missing Angela the entire time. He missed her already, even though the seat across from him was still warm from where she’d been seated moments earlier. What was happening with them? He hadn’t asked for this. There’d been no prayer from him that the Lord might lead him into a relationship like this. He’d been fine alone. Content. Busy.

Lord, what’s happening to me? he silently prayed. Why have You sent Angela Sanders into my life, out of the blue?

Blue. He’d never seen eyes a prettier shade than hers. He could spend a lifetime with this woman if only she could accept a part of his life that he’d learned to accept. He’d meant to warn her in the beginning, but the falling-in-love part had caught him off guard. That, and the fact that there never seemed to be a right time to tell the woman you love that you’re fighting a battle that can only be won a day at a time.

Their lunch dates that week were brief but fun. Angela couldn’t remember eating better food, laughing more, or enjoying better discussions with anyone more than she did with Adam. They had their differences, but they also thought alike on many subjects, including most spiritual matters. “Spiritual matters.” Angela could hardly believe this was really happening. Over the years, she’d learned not to share her religious views with Dan rather than endure the flippant remarks that were sure to follow. He didn’t care that she and the kids had been as deeply involved in church as his own parents were during his growing up years. That had been Angela’s business, not his. But he certainly didn’t want to hear anything about a God he didn’t believe in. For Angela to now find herself seated with a man who loved the Lord—a man who might love her and her children some day—was almost too wonderful to believe. Why God would be so good to her after all the times she’d failed Him still mystified her.

The weekend was nearly upon them, and Adam was planning to take Angela and the kids fishing Saturday
morning at Spring Hollow Lake, a favorite place of his about an hour from their home, and Angela was looking forward to the day. Adam would need to be back at the center Saturday evening, but that would give Angela and the kids time to themselves, which she knew they needed. Especially Nathan. For him, Saturday would probably come too quickly.

The drive didn’t seem long that morning. Heather and David were sleeping, and Nathan was in his own little world listening to his radio through headphones and flipping through a book about karate.

“I’ve brought plenty of food, I think,” Angela remarked as she rummaged through her large purse to find her sunglasses.

“Pie?” Adam asked as he tilted his head to one side with a mischievous look.

“Brownies. They’re much quicker.”

“This isn’t a special enough occasion, huh?” he asked.

“Sorry. For pies, we’re talking Thanksgiving, Christmas…something major.” He’d have to stick around until the holidays, and Angela’s hopes were certainly headed in that direction. But at that moment, Nathan reentered their world and interrupted with some questions about a stock-car race track they were driving past. Angela couldn’t help but wonder if his timing had been as deliberate as her comment had been. Maybe he was more like her than she thought.

Finally, they reached their destination. The coolers
and the laundry basket Angela used to hold picnic supplies were carried to a large rectangular table standing in a grove of trees. A few forlorn-looking autumn leaves needed to be brushed from the tabletop before Angela could put down the plastic cloth she had brought. Adam took the children down to the water’s edge and, one by one, got them set up with bait on the hooks and poles in the water.

Surprisingly, David had a bite right away and, although the large bluegill got away, it created a lot of excitement for them. David was certain he’d be reeling something in before the day was over. Adam sincerely hoped he would. It wouldn’t be much fun for them if they didn’t catch anything. After spending about an hour with them, he decided to go back up to the picnic spot where he could see Angela sitting. They could safely see the children from that vantage point.

“You need help with anything?” he asked when he approached her.