A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything (14 page)

When it comes to something we desire, Proverbs is saying, we handle it wisely by welcoming the input of others in order to guard ourselves against the power of want. That bit of wisdom is
reinforced here:

Proverbs also makes clear that we, as fallen creatures, will experience desires for sinful things or for too much of a good thing, and that there are consequences for giving in
to them:

The sluggard, for example, has an inordinate desire to experience comfort and pleasure without having to work for it. Our mental image of a sluggard is someone who sleeps till noon, then lounges on the recliner all day with the clicker in hand and a bowl of chips nearby. But the couch potatoes aren’t the only sluggards; physically active people can be sluggards too.

Bethany, an unemployed twenty-eight-year-old, wants a job, and since she has been unemployed for over a year, she desperately needs one. But Bethany isn’t willing to take just any job; no, she wants a dream job. Bethany has been encouraged by friends and family to apply for positions that in time could lead her to a dream job, but Bethany doesn’t like that suggestion and is unwilling to
consider it.

When I went to college to study communications, I was blessed to attend what was considered a top-notch communications school. Despite the school’s reputation, I’ll never forget what one professor told the class—and I’m dating myself here—near the end of our senior year: “Don’t think you’re going to graduate from this school and step into a plumb job in journalism or publishing or television. No, if you want to break into it, you women will start as secretaries and you men will begin in sales.” He was talking about due paying. And he was right. Bethany doesn’t want to pay dues, nor does she think she should have to, because she is attractive and has a college degree. If we seek to build our lives on a foundation of entitlement, we are living as sluggards. Humility, which goes hand in hand with wisdom, recognizes and accepts that due paying is part
of life.

If our desires are shaped by the fear of the Lord, we will find them coming true: God “fulfills the desire of those who fear him” (Ps. 145:19). Additionally, those who fear the Lord are those who desire the Lord. The psalmist not only knew this, but he lived and breathed it: “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you” (Ps. 73:25). If we want to taste the joy of fulfilled desire, this is the way. If our desire is for God himself, we are guaranteed to get him in Christ. And the more of him we know and experience, our desires for lesser things will diminish proportionately, because nothing is more fulfilling than God in Christ. Have you tasted this? If so, you know exactly what the psalmist was talking about. If not, are you willing to pray that God would make this your ruling desire? If you are, you are guaranteed the joy of desire fulfilled.

the world . . .

“Some people feel that they don’t deserve to be wealthy or that there is only so much of the millionaire pie to go around. Creating wealth and financial freedom is available to everyone. It is our right to be wealthy, and my hope is that people take their space and know they deserve it.”

—Loral Langmeier, “8 Myths About Money,”

—
The Millionaire Maker

the word . . .

A rich man’s wealth is his
strong city,

and like a high wall in his imagination.

—Proverbs 18:11

“I have no idea what our financial situation is,” Natalie said. “My husband takes care of all that, and I’m so glad, because thinking about bills and taxes and retirement savings is beyond me.” Of course it’s beyond her—she has invested no time or thought in learning about it. And while husbands manage the money in many if not most households, there is tremendous wisdom in getting a handle on the state of our family finances and knowing where the records are kept and who the contacts are. If a wife unexpectedly loses her husband, the devastation, both emotionally and practically, will be intensified if she does not know or understand the state of her financial affairs. Conversely, wives who discipline themselves to keep abreast of the family finances not only fare better if left suddenly alone but can also be more actively supportive while their husband is still
with them.

We find such a wife in Proverbs 31 (a woman we are going to look at in-depth later on). The wife of Proverbs 31:11–31 is a picture of wisdom. She was placed at the end of the book to serve as an illustration of what a young man should look for when choosing a spouse. A quality for which she is commended is her financial know-how. She devoted time to discovering a good investment opportunity, and she grew her investment so that it was profitable (Prov. 31:16). She also understood the value of the commercial goods of her day and used that knowledge to generate income (Prov. 31:18, 24).

From her we learn that it is biblically right for a wife to be financially shrewd. Too often today, in our well-meaning efforts to control the damage done by the feminist movement to God’s design for marriage, we go too far in the opposite direction. In our desire to uphold male leadership in our home, we steer clear of things like finances, but this is the wrong way to go about it. We can actually help our husband more if we know what’s going on with our bank accounts, because we can serve as well-informed sounding boards and offer intelligent input into financial decisions rather than leaving him isolated in having to deal with it all alone.

Whether married or single, we are called to contribute to the financial well-being of our household. The contribution of a married woman may be either direct or indirect, whereas for a single woman it is most often direct. In addition to acquiring knowledge about how to save and invest, a single woman must also earn the money in order to do so. In either case, the principles of financial wisdom are the same. First, Proverbs makes a direct link between prosperity and hard work, laziness and poverty:

Proverbs 14:23 is a verse for Bethany, whom we saw in the last chapter. It shows us that we are blessed by undertaking even the most mundane tasks, whether the blessing comes immediately or down the road. Concerning finances, the verse applies to our efforts to
earn
as well as our efforts to
learn
. Elsewhere Solomon wrote, “In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good” (Eccles. 11:6).

the power of the purse string

Proverbs also gives us wisdom about borrowing money, making clear that there are always, if often invisible, strings attached:

While sometimes unavoidable, indebting ourselves to a person or an institution is always risky business. There are times when borrowing makes good long-term sense for ourselves and our family’s well-being. After all, very few can plunk down the asking price for a house or even a car. But if we default on repayment of the debt, we are in worse shape than we were before we undertook it, and to avoid the consequences—the slavery Proverbs speaks of—it is wise to discern, so far as we can today, whether the amount we are borrowing is manageable. Counting the cost in advance of any undertaking is wise, as Jesus made clear when he asked, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:28).

But let’s get beyond the Suze Orman basics. Our lives can become enslaved to a lender in much more subtle ways. If we take that loan from our husband’s parents, are we going to feel obligated to spend every holiday with them for the next decade? If we encourage our husband to accept financial help from our own father, is he going to feel the need to defer to our dad concerning things unrelated to the loan, perhaps breeding resentment in the process? It is always wise to weigh the long-range slavery potential any time we are thinking of borrowing money.

Some time ago, my friend Leisel borrowed money interest-free from a family member for college tuition, which has proven to be a tremendous blessing. However, she paid off the loan as soon as she could, because she felt guilty every time she spent a dollar on a nonnecessity. Her lender never raised an eyebrow or questioned her spending, and he would have felt bad if he’d known how the loan has made her feel; nevertheless, she was enslaved to the lender. Sometimes borrowing is indeed unavoidable, but other times, if we would simply separate out real need from want, we’d see that we could avoid the danger spelled out in Proverbs 22:7.

the weight of wealth and the power of God

Even money we’ve acquired through our own diligence can be a hassle:

The more you have, the more can be taken from you and the more there is to worry about. We drive along those tree-lined streets with houses set far back from the road, and we admire—and perhaps envy—the manicured lawns, and we envision the beauty of the home’s interior and furnishings. But do we stop to consider the upkeep of such a lawn? It represents either the effort of a father-and-son team every summer Saturday or the regular work of an expensive yard service. As for what’s inside, all that silver needs polishing—and insuring. High ceilings need professional painters, and high-priced upholstery needs special cleaning. The more you have, the more you spend. “Nevertheless,” we say, “I’d trade the trials of not enough for the trials of too much
any day.”

Because we are prone to think that way, we can be susceptible to any number of tactics that promise to build our bank accounts. Our desire for the ease we believe that money will bring can wreak havoc on our powers of discernment. For that reason, Proverbs backs up the truth of this saying: “If it sounds too good to be true, it is.” Get-rich-quick schemes don’t work, and those who repeatedly latch onto them are those who allow greed to drown out the voice of wisdom. This includes those who use much-needed income to purchase lottery tickets or to invest in high-risk stocks or business ventures rather than paying the mortgage or the
electric bill.

When the housing market collapsed in 2008, people couldn’t pass the blame around fast enough. In keeping with the mind-set of our society, the media centered most of its outrage on Wall Street, the government, and mortgage lenders but had very little to say about individual culpability. While it is true that all those institutions contributed to the housing downfall, equally to blame were the thousands upon thousands who took out mortgages they couldn’t afford. It was unbiblical when the government claimed that every American has a “right” to own a home, and it was unbiblical when mortgage lenders told people that their dream house could be had for no money down. But equally unbiblical were those who wanted it so badly that they signed on the dotted line and pushed away any thought that they might be undertaking something way beyond their financial means. Some careful investigation and the obtaining of wise advice would have prevented countless foreclosures. It was greed that got in the way and won out over wisdom across the American board.

our heart’s treasure

That being said, Proverbs’ primary emphasis when it comes to finances is less about our intellectual grasp of fiscal issues than about the place it holds in our heart. The heart is, in large part, what makes the difference between riches and poverty in one’s life. God’s providence, of course, is the overarching factor, but it is his very providence that has determined that our hearts play a part in our financial well-being. Nevertheless, God’s will isn’t that we go to Proverbs as we would to a personal financial advisor. No, in all our wealth or poverty, whether arrived at through wisdom or folly, his objective is to wean us from caring overly much about money altogether and to teach us to depend on him for all our needs, including the provision of wisdom. Agur, who wrote the sayings found in chapter 30 of Proverbs, prayed:

What are we to make, then, of this proverb?

From these particular proverbs, we can learn something important about the book of Proverbs. Its sayings aren’t so much promises as they are observations about how life works. If we can grasp this, we can learn how to apply its teachings correctly. Proverbs 10:15 is a good example. The writer is making an observation that those with money tend to have it easier in some ways than those who don’t. None of us would disagree with that, which is why we are so tempted to set our hearts on acquiring it. When a home repair becomes necessary, money in the bank keeps us from the worry of how to pay for it. When our son wants to attend that pricey summer camp, a healthy bank account enables us to experience the joy of saying yes. When a friend asks us to join her in Hawaii for a week, our money enables us to feel anticipation unalloyed by guilt when we click “purchase” on the Orbitz website. Money can indeed be a blessing, which is exactly what Proverbs 10:15 is acknowledging.

Nevertheless, throughout the Bible we are warned against the lure of seeking our security in money. Paul wrote, “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evils” (1 Tim. 6:10). The danger is found in the very blessing that money provides—a sense of security. And the reason it’s dangerous is, first, that God alone deserves our trust; and, second, we ultimately have no control over our personal security. That’s why Proverbs
also says:

This is actually good news, because most of us will never be wealthy anyway. It is good news because we have been offered something so much better to rely on—God himself. Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matt. 6:25–26). And the writer of Hebrews wrote, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for [God] has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’” (Heb. 13:5).

It is also good news because many of us have made a mess of managing our money, and we are living with the consequences of it even now. But God doesn’t shape our lives around our financial savvy or successes or failures. He shapes them around his own plans, and those plans include even the messes we make. J. I. Packer writes: