A Younger Man (Mount Faith Series: Book 7) (13 page)

"Looks!" Vanley snorted. "We live in a society where looks are so important."

"I don't know anything else about her," Arnella said defensively. "Ordinary human beings who have sight go off looks."

Vanley sighed, "I am on edge, sorry."

"Go investigate this secret for yourself, and you will be fine," Arnella said, standing up and heading for his kitchen. "What do you have to eat?"

Chapter Eleven

Vanley left the community center at almost six o'clock. When he had volunteered for the literacy project he had no idea that so many persons would have taken him up on it. He had realized that quite a few of the older persons in his congregation could not read their Bibles, and he had extended an invitation to community persons to attend the classes at the church hall. So far he had twenty persons, most of them elderly and most of them eager to learn. He felt a sense of accomplishment. It was always good to make a change in somebody's life.

He sat in his car drumming his hand on the steering wheel. Arnella's urging him to investigate Anita's secret interested him more than it should. He could be patient and allow his uncle to tell him; he only had to wait six weeks. On the other hand, he could be proactive and do exactly as Arnella had suggested.

There was the third option of asking the lady herself, one last time. Maybe he should give her an ultimatum, to tell him, or else. Or else what? He started the car and drove slowly up the hill. They weren't together, so he couldn't threaten to leave her. Or else he'd stop pursuing her? Find somebody else? She had always told him to do that.

He passed Davia's house. He wondered if she was home. He decided not to stop. He was going to Anita, and if she didn't tell him her secret he would quit. It shouldn't be hard to erase her, should it? A man could only take so much and no more of a woman who refused to give him the time of day.

He was beginning to have serious second thoughts when he pulled into Anita's driveway. What was so fascinating about her that he kept coming back to be squashed? She was going to squash his ego; he could feel it.

He almost didn't get out of the car. His tenacity was wearing thin, but obviously not thin enough because he found himself at her door. He didn't have to knock; she had seen his car pull up in the driveway, and she was standing on the porch waiting for him. She stood there and looked at him.

"Vanley."

"Anita."

They stared at each other.

"Come on in." She was in casual shorts and a long-sleeved loose-fitting blouse. He had never seen her dressed so casual before. She had nice legs. He stared at them as they moved away from him and she sat down in a tan-colored settee.

He sat across from her. The staring battle began. Her eyes looked sad. She had her hair pulled off her face in a maroon-colored headband.

"Where's your dog?" he finally asked.

"At the back of the house, sulking," Anita said. "I've put him on diet food. He doesn't like it, but I think he's getting too fat."

"You know I didn't peg you to be a dog person," he said leaning back in the settee. "I thought you were more of a cat person."

Anita crossed her legs. He watched as she did so then slowly dragged his eyes up to her face.

"I had a cat once. His name was Fritz. He hated Carol." Anita looked as if she regretted mentioning that much about her past after she volunteered that bit of information.

Carol knew her secret too; Vanley wondered why couldn't he. Not wanting to spook her, he casually mentioned Carol.

"I like Carol. She said you beat her to bagging a toy boy pastor."

Anita laughed. "That sounds like something she'd say."

"How'd you two meet?" Vanley asked, still trying to look as if he wasn't listening keenly to her replies.

"We were working in the same building," Anita said casually. "I taught part time at a college and she was auditioning to be model for a toothpaste commercial."

"How old were you then?" Vanley asked.

"Twenty," Anita said shrugging.

"So what was your childhood like? You know I have never heard you talk about it."

"It was okay," Anita said, rubbing her arms.

"That's it?" Vanley asked. "Just okay."

"Do you like talking about your childhood?" Anita squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

"Well," Vanley contemplated that. "Not really. It wasn't that spectacular. My Dad died prematurely in a bar accident. My mom was devastated and turned to the bottle; I guess I had a half of a parent left. Are your parents still alive?"

Anita inhaled deeply and then relaxed. "Yes, they are."

Bingo! Vanley thought she had paused too long when mentioning her parents. There was something there. Maybe they knew what her secret was, but he couldn't ask her where they lived or anything else, could he? She already looked like she was on the verge of retreating.

"Why are you here, Vanley?" Anita asked belatedly.

"To talk with you. I think we need to do more of that."

"You bought Davia flowers; I thought you had moved on from your crush."

"When I move on I'll tell you," Vanley said, running his eyes over her. "What I feel for you is not a crush."

Anita made a nervous gesture with her arms. "Vanley, don't..."

Vanley got up from where he was sitting and sat beside her, he took her chin in his hand. "Anita, look at me."

She looked at him, her eyes looked sad and lonely.

"What is keeping you from me? Whatever it is has robbed us of five whole years of getting to know each other better. You are always holding back. It is tiring, I have to admit."

Anita swallowed. His eyes looked so compassionate and understanding that she was really tempted to tell him. "Would you leave the ministry for me?" she asked faintly.

Vanley frowned. "The ministry?"

"Yes." Anita nodded. "Do something else, I don't know, teach or something."

"Your secret necessitates me leaving the ministry?" He caressed her cheek. It was satiny smooth. "Why?"

Anita nodded. "I think it does. I know that there are certain rules for the partners of pastors and I have probably broken every one of them."

Vanley shook his head. "First, tell me what is the secret."

Anita shifted uneasily. "Tell me if you would give up the ministry first."

Vanley released her cheek and held her hands in his. "I genuinely believe I was called for this work. I want to preach, teach, and tell others about Jesus and his soon coming. I know I don't have to be a full time pastor to do it, but I just got started and it is not a decision I can just make like that, on a whim. I usually pray about these things."

Anita nodded and said hoarsely, "I thought so. I expected this answer."

Vanley moved closer to her and cupped her neck, placing his lips on hers. It started out as a soft kiss and then quickly heated up into something more. Vanley tore his lips from hers and put his forehead on hers.

They were both panting. He looked at Anita's crushed red lips and then in her eyes. There were tears in them.

"This is goodbye," Anita whispered, "because you'd have to choose."

"No," Vanley said, "just tell me what it is. Help me to make an informed decision."

Anita whispered, "I can't. Telling you would be unfair to you. I don't want to come between you and your calling. I don't want you to make such a decision and end up resenting me for the rest of your life. I couldn't live with that."

Vanley moved away from her. "Anita, this is ridiculous; you know that, right?"

Anita closed her eyes, but tears were seeping through her lashes. "Goodbye, Vanley. Let this go. Find someone else. Live your life."

"No," Vanley said harshly. He stood up and stared at her hardly. "This is not goodbye. It can't be."

As he left the house, he heard her crying. He wanted to go back and comfort her. He wanted to tell her it would be all right, but he didn't know that it would be, did he?

*****

He left Anita's and headed to Mount Faith Drive. He needed to pick Taj's brain. His cousin could give him unbiased, professional advice. He felt a need to unburden himself, and he preferred to do so with somebody who was not only medically trained to help with mental conditions, but somebody who was also a Christian. When he stopped at Taj's gate, he saw him in the driveway talking to a lady. The lady hugged Taj and moved away toward the house across the street.

"Hey," Taj waved to him when he got out of the car. "What's up, Vanley?"

He waved to Taj then watched the lady as she turned back and smiled and waved to him.

"Who is that?" he asked Taj.

"My mother," Taj said, grinning. "I heard through the grapevine that you like older ladies. She is married, so take your eyes off of her."

Vanley frowned. "I only like one older lady, and Uncle Ryan talks too much."

"He's concerned about you," Taj said. "I was just teasing though. So what brings you here, Pastor Bancroft?"

Vanley shrugged. "I need to talk something over with you."

Taj nodded. "Want us to walk while we talk? It's a lovely, golden evening before sunset. One has to appreciate days like this."

"Sure." Vanley locked the car and they headed down the drive together.

"How is married life?" he asked Taj, who had pushed his hand into his windbreaker pocket. There was a chilly wind blowing, but oddly enough, Vanley didn't really feel chilled. This thing with Anita was even messing up his internal thermometer.

"I love it," Taj said. "Natasha and I get on like a house on fire. If I didn't love married life at just two and a half months, there would be some serious trouble ahead."

Vanley laughed. "That's right."

They heard a dog barking in the distance and the willow trees mourning as they walked. Taj waited patiently for Vanley to speak.

When they reached a fork in the road, Vanley stopped under a small mango tree. "I think I have obsessive compulsive disorder."

Taj stared at him seriously. "Explain."

"I have this thing for Anita. I can't shake it. I want to. I really do, but I can’t. How do I shake a compulsion?"

Taj cleared his throat. "Why do you have this thing for Anita?"

"I don't know." Vanley frowned. "I didn't invite it; I guess I was just attracted to her. Through the years, I have found that I can't be attracted to anyone else. I must be obsessed. Help me."

"Why do you need help?" Taj asked puzzled. "This kind of chemistry is not bad."

"The lady has a secret, and today she implied that I would have to give up the ministry if I were to be with her because her secret is so bad it could derail my ministry."

"The kingdom versus the woman?" Taj shook his head. "The choice you make will reveal the kind of man you are."

Vanley started walking again. "What would you say about me if I gave up the ministry for Anita?"

"Just clarifying here," Taj said, "giving up the ministry in your case would mean giving up your post as pastor, right?"

"Right." Vanley said.

"So you can do other things and still preach and share the word, right? Just find another profession."

"Right." Vanley nodded again. "Like teaching. I like that."

"So," Taj urged him on...

"So I could give up the ministry for her." Vanley said in a rush.

"Without knowing her secret?" Taj asked, "You'd do that? Suppose you can't live with her secret? Then you would have neither the ministry or the woman."

"I hate that secret so bad," Vanley said frustrated. "I really, really, really hate that secret."

Taj laughed. "I really hate the secret too since it's making you so unhappy. I don't think you are obsessed with Anita or even fixated though."

"You don't?" Vanley asked. "Even though I have not looked at another woman for five years? Haven't liked anyone else, really."

"It happens," Taj said, " Leah was God's choice for Jacob, but he worked for Rachel for seven years. You know what you want as well; it's just that the female in question is not willing to go along with you. Maybe Anita has a point, Vanley, and her secret is not worth tying up yourself over."

Vanley sighed and stared at the sky. Only a sliver of light could be seen on the horizon now. The golden afternoon rays had disappeared, leaving only gray. It felt like a good time to be still and just breathe.

Taj said in the silence. "I think you need to refocus your energy elsewhere."

"Not you too, Taj. Uncle Ryan has me dating a girl for three months to get me to stop thinking about Anita."

"Not a bad idea," Taj said. "How is that going?"

"It's going. She's actually Anita's secretary. The thing is: I feel so much like a naive rookie. I tried to make Anita jealous and sent the other girl, Davia, flowers but..."

"But Anita is not budging with her secret." Taj finished for him. "How does Anita feel about you?"