Abandoned to the Night (The Brotherhood Series, Book 3) (6 page)

“Am I to assume you do not take pleasure in drinking?” Leo asked, curious to know the reason behind her detached approach.

Ivana glanced at the opening of his shirt, moistened her lips when her gaze drifted up to his neck. “I have on occasion. But it is like drinking vinegar as opposed to … well, I am not sure you would understand.”

The vial had contained goat’s blood. His experienced palate could identify the animal purely from the taste. But she was mistaken if she believed him immune to the potent lure of drinking directly from the host.

“I have drunk from the source,” he said, for once feeling no shame for admitting the truth. “Numerous times.”

Her eyes grew large as she sat forward. “But you can’t have … you mustn’t. Yes, perhaps only the first time when your body is embracing the change. But I manipulated your thoughts so you would not hurt others anymore.”

“Then in my case you have failed.” He steepled his fingers as he examined the frown marring her brow. “I have drunk from the pretty necks of a few women.”

Indeed, in those moments, it was like another man possessed his mind and body. In those moments when he lost control, Elliot was always there to take care of things.

Ivana’s hand shot up to her throat. “You drank directly from a vein?” she muttered almost to herself as she shook her head so vigorously one could not mistake the fact she found the idea abhorrent. “Leo, you must not do so again. Promise me. Promise me you won’t.”

Anger flared in his chest. He would not be drinking blood at all had it not been for the night she sank her fangs into his neck. Why should she be concerned for him now?

“I’ve spent the last three years fighting the urge to bite. Sometimes, I am just too weak to resist.”

“But you must. You do not understand—”

“It seems there are many things I don’t understand,” he interjected with an air of frustration. “Many things I don’t remember.”

She came down to kneel on the floor in front of him and put her hands on his knees. His cock stirred as he conjured an image of her taking him into her mouth.

Bloody hell!

The animalistic instincts he always fought against were so prominent, so powerful when in her presence. The desperate urge to mate with her, to drink from her, to have her completely at his mercy was compelling.

“It is my fault, Leo. When we were joined we … we drank from each other. It heightened our pleasure, made us stronger, made us feel invincible.”

They had bitten each other whilst he’d thrust inside her?

The erotic image played out before his eyes. Hell, no wonder he struggled to control the devil inside when parading about the ballrooms of Mayfair.

Come to think of it, every woman he had ever bitten had possessed blue eyes and golden hair. Elliot often mocked him for it. Relief coursed through him. He had always thought himself to be the weakest brother, the most infantile, the most reckless. Now it seemed he had been desperately trying to recapture a memory.

“It all makes more sense to me now,” he said staring meditatively into the flames. He was silent while his mind absorbed all she had said. When his gaze locked with hers, he could see the truth in her eyes. “I’ve spent the last three years looking for
you
. I’ve spent three years searching for the same level of satisfaction I must have experienced here.”

His words did not placate her. “Drinking from the source alters you. It hardens your heart to all emotion. It makes you see things differently.” She glanced down, struggled to look him in the eye. “It is part of the reason I let you go.”

Her voice broke on the last word, the high-pitched cry revealing suppressed emotion. She shot to her feet and turned away from him to gaze into the flames.

Leo stood and put his hand on her shoulder. “What do you mean, Ivana, when you say you let me go?”

She turned to face him, her eyes red and watery. Never in his wildest imagination would he have believed the devil woman capable of shedding a tear.

“There is so much to tell you,” she whispered as he wiped a tear away with the pad of this thumb. “So much I have kept hidden inside.”

“Then you must tell me everything. That’s the reason I came here, to understand why you chose to punish us.”

“And to seek revenge,” she added.

“Yes, that too. But things are different now. I painted a picture in my mind, and I have lived in constant fear of the image. Now, in reality, the scene is not how I remember it. The lines are distorted, the figures hazy. What appeared grotesque no longer rouses the same feelings of disdain within me.”

“Then let us sit, let me paint a different picture for you. Let me settle your mind before you leave here.”

The thought of leaving caused a sudden stabbing pain in his chest. In truth, he had never felt at home anywhere. In the ballrooms of London, he could not be himself; he was just another actor playing a role, just another gentleman looking for a way to fill his time. Life held no meaning. Without his friends, his brothers, he had nothing.

Yet here, in the darkest depths of the devil woman’s lair, he felt normal.

He felt as though he belonged.

Chapter 6

The taste of Leo’s lips had been her undoing.

During the journey in the carriage, she imagined giving him the explanation he desired. Hoping then he would leave satisfied in the knowledge she’d had a justifiable reason for turning him. Either that or he would use his sword to put her out of her misery for good.

But as soon as he stepped over the threshold, memories of their time together in the castle came flooding back and her steely composure crumbled. Since that first night, there had been an unexplainable attraction between them. The feeling went deeper than lust, perhaps even deeper than love — if there was such an emotion.

The years since their separation had been unbearable. Her bleeding heart had not even begun to heal. She could find no logic or reason for the depth of feeling consuming her. The number of nights or the length of time spent in his company held no significance. An hour spent together was as fulfilling as an entire lifetime for others.

“Start at the beginning,” Leo said settling back into his chair and crossing his legs at his ankles. He looked relaxed, comfortable and she knew he would not remain so for long.

“Then I shall begin with the night I bit the lord in the mausoleum,” she said wearily. She could not bear to talk of the night she lost her own humanity. “I was bitter, resentful, consumed by anger. I had been watching him for days, witnessed various unscrupulous acts.”

“You speak of Elliot. He does have a name, Ivana.” She could hear the hint of contempt in his tone. “You should know that both Elliot and Alexander are like brothers to me.”

She should have been surprised, but with their thoughts aligned and their powers for mind manipulation, she supposed it was inevitable they would find one another. “You were drawn to those who share an affinity for blood. The bonds formed during times of adversity are not easily broken.”

“Without Elliot’s friendship, I would not be sitting here. Was he the first person you turned?”

An image of her sinking her fangs into Nikolai’s foul neck flashed into her mind, and she shuddered, repulsed she should even think of it after all this time. “Yes. Elliot was the first man I poisoned with my tainted blood.”

Leo suddenly straightened, banged his fist on the arm of the chair. “God damn it, why?”

“Because of the children,” she implored. She would do anything to protect them, to save them from pain. She threw her hands in the air. “It is all for the children.”

Leo shook his head, confusion marring his brow. “But I don’t understand how the two are connected.”

Ivana took a deep breath as she would need to remain calm if she had any hope of finishing this tale.

“Herr Bruhn takes care of the children, the illegitimate offspring of the fine lords who pass through here and the servant women who will do anything to put food on the table.” Just saying the words aloud caused resentment to flare. “They come with their lofty manners and deceitful words, take their pleasure and leave nothing but misery behind in their wake. Poor innocent souls are discarded as though they are nothing, and it tears at my heart, rips it to shreds.”

He sat in silence. She watched him swallow visibly as his gaze focused on a point of no interest on the floor.

“Some women travel from the nearest town,” she continued in a desperate bid to make him understand. “Some are lured away by the promise of trinkets and pretty baubles. They leave the child of one gentleman behind when they go off with another. Some are not as lucky.” She swallowed, moistened her lips. “I do not blame the women. I blame the men desperate to satisfy their needs regardless of the human cost. Those men do not deserve the precious gift of life.”

Indeed, she blamed Nicolai, too. For taking a sweet, naive girl and turning her into a freak of nature, a monster left all alone, abandoned to the night.

Leo swallowed and then asked with an incredulous expression, “Is that why you turned Elliot, because of his licentious ways?”

Ivana sneered. “You should have seen him and his blatant disregard for others. If you would only come to see the children, Leo, you would know why I was forced to stop him. Now he can satisfy his needs without spreading his seed. Now he cannot hide the monster beneath his elegant clothes and fancy words. Now he must spend eternity in the knowledge he will never find someone who will accept him when they see him for what he truly is.”

“You’re wrong,” he snorted. “Elliot has recently married. His wife knows of his affliction, has witnessed him change. They are deeply in love.”

Ivana gasped in shock, but then upon reflection said, “Then I expect he will want to thank me. The man I met in the mausoleum was incapable of expressing any genuine emotion.”

Leo stood and walked over to the fire, placed his hands flat on the stone over-mantle as his head fell forward.

She could hear his muttered curses, sense his inner torment, feel his confusion and pain. He picked up the poker and stabbed at the glowing embers as though they had wronged him in some way.

“Did you take Elliot as your lover, too?” He did not turn to face her. “Did you lie with him like you did me?”

Ivana shot up and put her hand on his shoulder. “Good Lord, no.” If only Leo could remember what he meant to her. If only he could remember all they had shared, then he would not have asked such a ridiculous question.

He shrugged her hand away, but she remained at his shoulder. “And what of Alexander? He told me you brought him here in your carriage. He recalled lying on your bed.”

“And did he tell you what he was doing when I lured him away from the tavern? Did he?”

“No.”

“Then you should know I have never met a gentleman so open in his vulgarity. It took every effort not to drain him dry where he sat.”

“Yet still you brought him to your home.” He dropped the poker and turned to face her. She could see the disappointment in his eyes. “If he disgusted you as you say, why bring him here?”

The sudden pain in her chest caused her throat to constrict, and she fought back the flurry of emotion. “I brought him here because of you,” she cried. “I thought I could use him to forget you. I thought having him here would help to eradicate your memory. But I should have known it was an impossible task.”

“How long did he stay?”

“Two hours.”

Leo jerked his head back, and his disapproving stare cut her to the bone. “So you bit him and discarded him without a second thought?”

Ivana nodded as she gazed at the floor. “I couldn’t bear to have him here. Sylvester took him to the forest and left him there.”

He took a step towards her. “Did you not consider the fact he might be scared, terrified at the thought of waking to find he craved blood?”

“Did he consider the fact he could have fathered a child? That the child would be abandoned, left frightened and all alone with no way to fend for itself?”

Leo exhaled loudly but did not answer her question. “You said you had only turned three men. So there has been no one else since Alexander?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Because now I know I could not bear to touch another man, to drink from him, share my blood so intimately with him
.

“I … I found another way to be rid of them,” she said. “It takes but a drop of my blood in their ale for me to command their thoughts. It is far easier when they are inebriated to manipulate their minds.”

He snorted. “I suppose I should be relieved that there are not more men with our affliction.”

She could feel him withdrawing, pulling away from her, putting up a barrier.

“Come with me tomorrow,” she pleaded. “I will be calling on Herr Bruhn as I do most nights. Come see the children and then you will understand my motives.”

He dropped into the chair, his weary sigh tearing at her heart. “I do not know what to make of it all,” he said pushing his hands through his hair. “I do not know what to think.”

“You do not need to think anything. Take some time. Meet the children.” She sounded desperate for his approval, although after what she had done, she would never receive it. “But you should rest now.”