Abby and the Cute One (Backstage Pass) (13 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

Abby

L
ucky Abby, instead of going to Six Flags with the rest of Seconds to Juliet, she had to go to PR lessons with David. She hadn’t really cared for him when they met the first time and now she cared even less.

His lessons revolved around so many rules it made her head spin. It was no wonder Nathan needed to be so careful all the time. One wrong move and your whole world could implode. Everything was so calculated, so fake—all she wanted to do was sing!

Worse yet, he used Nathan’s gracious gift of the floor seats to those two cute little girls and their father as an example of how to play the game. It made her sick to her stomach. When she asked if she could do something like that just because it felt good, rather than for an angle to help her popularity, he laughed and said, “It’s always great to do something that makes you feel good, but it’ll feel even better when your sales go through the roof.”

Abby disagreed and that was when David decided it was best to break for the day.

There was no way Nathan had done that to make himself look good. She’d seen it in his eyes when he walked away; he did it for that family. And sure, he could’ve given the tickets to a different family, but he did it because he wanted to give, not to receive something in return.

At dinner at the venue, Nathan still wasn’t around, and she was whisked away right after for staging and her own sound check, so she didn’t have much time to think about him at all. Ever since Abby had actually started opening for S2J, they hadn’t found much time to see each other, so keeping their hands off wasn’t very difficult. It was depressing, but at the same time, they were doing what they needed to do.

When she felt a pity party coming on, Abby tried to snap herself out of it by reminding herself that this was what she wanted, and then she’d pick up her guitar and write a song or something else to distract her.

She was doing just that when a plump, bald man knocked on her tour bus door. Abby welcomed Mr. Pearl onto her bus.

He looked around and smiled. “Great space.”

Abby cautiously smiled back. “Ryder said it was too girly.”

“Well, that’s Ryder’s persona now, isn’t it? The girls just love his moodiness.” He scratched his head. “Or, should I say,
loved
his moodiness.”

Abby fidgeted, but didn’t know what to add. The silence in the bus skeeved her out. For the life of her, she couldn’t think of anything to say. He wasn’t her manager. They didn’t have a business relationship and they definitely didn’t have a personal relationship.

Thankfully, Mr. Pearl broke the silence. “I’m a little worried about Nathan.”

“Nathan?” Abby almost choked. “Why? What happened?” What was going on? Was he hurt? Was that why she hadn’t seen him all day?

“Oh, he’s fine physically, but he seems a little off his game lately.”

Oh. Unsure of what to say, Abby kept silent.

“You guys seem close. I was wondering if you might be able to talk to him.”

What was LJ’s end game? Abby wasn’t sure, but admitting any kind of relationship would be dumb. “I like all the guys from S2J. I was a big fan of theirs before I came, and now I’m an even bigger one.”

He leaned against the little table in the kitchenette. “I’m glad to hear you say that. S2J is in a very precarious position right now, and I’d hate to see them lose everything just because you’ve entered the picture.”

“Me?”

“I guess I should’ve seen it coming. I mean, you’re young, he’s young—the press is trying so hard to pin you and Nathan together it’s almost laughable. But we can’t have you two fueling the fire. You know what I mean?”

Abby’s face reddened and her heart raced.

“I almost wish I’d thought of this before we hired you.”

All the breath whooshed from Abby’s lungs. She could almost see her dreams crumbling around her.

“Hired me?”

“Yes. Right now Nathan is on a date with Marissa, and the last thing he needs is some sort of controversy.” LJ straightened his shoulders. “But you’re a Seconds to Juliet fan. You wouldn’t do anything to compromise their careers.” He paused and peered into her eyes. “Or your own career. Right?”

Abby shook her head, her pulse roaring in her ears. “No. Definitely not.”

Mr. Pearl beamed. “Excellent. Have a great show tonight, Abby. You’ve been doing awesome.”

His heavy steps thudded down the bus stairs and Abby quickly sat on the closest stable object.

What just happened? She didn’t know what to think about first.

Nathan was on a date with Marissa again. Granted, it was all LJ’s doing, but her heart hurt just thinking about it.

And then there was LJ’s not-so-subtle threat. He would fire her in a heartbeat if it meant saving S2J. Maybe even fire her just because of speculation and nothing more. After all, as David had just told her, everything came down to PR.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Nathan

A
day off was a luxury on tour. Usually Nathan would check in with his family back home, chill with the guys, and catch up on
The Tudors
, but that was before Abby toured with them.

He seesawed back and forth between needing to see her and knowing he couldn’t. It was torture, being so close to her and having her around without being able to spend any actual time with her. In the early afternoon, Trevin jumped on the bus and swaggered his way to the back.

Miles laughed. “What’s up with you?”

“Just found out Beau’s leaving for the night. He’s taking LJ somewhere so I’m planning a big date with Daisy.”

Nathan smiled. Hopefully Trevin and Daisy could get some good alone time together. They deserved it.

Wait.

He jumped off his bunk. “LJ’s going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Beau told Daisy that LJ’s going to visit his third…or fourth…or whatever it is wife for the night.”

A burst of energy buzzed in Nathan’s chest. “All night?”

“LJ, yeah” Trevin said. “I don’t know about Beau, though, so Daisy and I have to be careful.”

Freedom. Finally.

Nathan grabbed the flash drive he’d gotten in the mail the other day and uploaded the two very important files to his laptop. Then he texted Abby:
How is your hat doing?

The excitement building in his nerves from just that one little text was proof for what he already knew: he was head over heels for Abby Curtis.

But how he felt didn’t matter. Not when his feelings could ruin their dreams. With LJ gone tonight, though, there would be very little worry about getting found out. It was the perfect time.

Abby didn’t text back for a few hours. Nathan passed the time looking up her YouTube videos. At yesterday’s show she’d done a cover of “Jealous” by Nick Jonas for her encore song and the crowd had flipped. She’d nailed it. He’d watched that twice, fallen asleep for an hour or so, then gotten up and watched her version of “The One” three times before she texted him back.

Abby:
Hat’s doing pretty good. You?

Nathan:
Better than pretty good. Busy today?

Abby:
Caught up on some sleep. You?

Nathan:
Same. We’re really living the life, aren’t we?

Abby:
You know it.

Nathan:
How did last night feel?

Abby:
Incredible. I feel so, so lucky. You get that, right?

Nathan:
Definitely.

He knew it was dangerous. But didn’t friends let each other know how happy they were for each other? Didn’t they do something to celebrate?

Nathan:
Listen, I want to see you.

Nathan held his breath as he waited for a response.
Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes…

Abby:
That’s not a good idea, Nathan.

Nathan:
I think it’s the best idea I had all day.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Abby

A
bby lowered the phone and took a deep breath. Heat pricked behind her eyes. She’d had plenty of time to think about LJ’s visit with her, and though she wouldn’t tell Nathan about it, she’d try to be strong for him. She needed to do what was best for both of them.

She picked her phone up again.

Abby:
Isn’t it crazy that we’re making our dreams come true? How is this even real life?

Nathan:
I ask myself that all the time, but did you miss the part where I said I wanted to see you?

Abby:
No, I didn’t miss it. I’m just being realistic.

Nathan:
LJ’s gone. I just want to see you for a little while. I have a surprise for you.

Abby didn’t respond—what could she say? She wanted so badly to see him, and he sounded so eager, but it was a bad idea. Even if LJ wasn’t there, if someone saw them…it could ruin everything.

The phone vibrated in her hand. Nathan was calling her.

“You’re…calling?” she answered hesitantly.

“Well, you were avoiding me.”

“I’m trying to be strong for you.”

He sighed. “You’re not at all interested about the surprise?” When she didn’t answer, he said, “I’m coming over anyway, so you might as well just agree. Just think of it as the last time, okay? This is it.”

“I think we’ve said that already.”

“Well, I’ve never meant it before now.”

“But—”

“I’ll be there in five.”

Abby paced around her small bus waiting for Nathan to arrive. Her stomach did flip-flops and her palms were clammy. She should’ve told him not to come—it was too risky. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to be with him, it didn’t matter how just being near him made her feel warm and happy. They had too much to lose.

Abby stood from her bed in the back when Nathan walked on. “Nathan.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “LJ will kill you if he finds out.”

“He’s not going to find out.”

“Your fans will kill you if they find out. You’re dating someone else, remember?”

“I’m not dating her.”

“Your fans don’t know that.”

Nathan dropped the backpack and pulled out snack after snack. Microwave popcorn, Twinkies, Ho Hos, the works. “Can we just forget that for one night? We haven’t seen each other lately, and I’ve missed you. Just for tonight, I want to be Nathan, the sixteen-year-old from a little town in PA no one’s ever heard of.”

She couldn’t hold back her smile. “I’ve heard of your hometown.”

“Which leads me to the other thing I want to do—spend time with someone who gets me. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be around you. Okay?”

A slow smile spread across Abby’s face. Nathan was hard to resist. “Okay.”

He grabbed his laptop from the bag. “Now that we’ve got that settled, let’s move on to the surprise.”

He set up his laptop on the small table in front of them while Abby popped some popcorn. “Is it a movie?” Abby asked.

“Even better.” He patted the cushion next to him and Abby sat.

Nathan pushed play and
The Vampire Diaries
show opener began. He nudged her. “Do you see it?”

She chuckled at his excitement. “Yeah, I see it, but I don’t get it.”

“I pulled some strings and got us the first two episodes of the next season of
The Vampire Diaries
.”

Abby sat up so fast she spilled some of the popcorn. “Are you kidding me? The next season? I didn’t even know they shot those yet.”

Nathan pulled her back down. “They’ve only finished these two episodes. Thing is, we’re sworn to secrecy. If we tell anyone or sell these files instead of deleting them when we’re done, we’re getting sued. Big time.”

Abby made the zipped lips motion and threw away the imaginary key. No way would she blow this chance of seeing the first two episodes before everybody else by blabbing it all over the place.

For a couple hours, Abby tried to pretend for Nathan that she was just a girl sitting on a couch with a boy. They weren’t just any normal boy and girl though. Nathan was
Nathan,
and as far as anyone knew, he was in a relationship with some other girl that wasn’t her and couldn’t be her. She’d even tried pretending they were just friends, but she second-guessed everything. Every time she accidentally touched him, she flinched.

She wanted nothing more than to lay her head on his shoulder, but it would mean the feelings she’d sealed up tight might leak, and that would stain everything.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Nathan

W
hen the credits rolled after the second episode and they’d started their good-byes, a switch went off inside Nathan. He knew how he always got himself into this mess now. It didn’t matter how extraordinary their lives were. Sure, he could get TV episodes that weren’t even supposed to be released yet at the drop of a hat, but it still just felt like a normal day when he was with her.

And that was how he’d been trapped every time. He always had the best of intentions—trying to be friends, promising not to touch and kiss her, but just the very fact that he was with her made him seem normal. But he wasn’t normal, and neither was she.

At some point during the last episode, her head had found his shoulder. She was stiff, not like that night in his hotel room when he’d played with her hair. Her hands were even curled into fists. He didn’t imagine she was comfortable, but she’d sat that way anyway. Nathan had spent most of his time wondering what Abby was thinking rather than what was going on in the show. It hurt to look at her, at the strands of blond hair across his chest, and know that this couldn’t be.

Abby was right. Coming here had been a mistake. It only reminded him of what couldn’t be.

She fidgeted beside him. “I like you a lot, Nathan.”

Before he could reply, she lifted herself and closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his. He pulled away—he couldn’t do this to either of them. Prolonging the inevitable, drawing out the hurt, was only making it worse. He’d just made it so much harder than it needed to be. Again.

She sat up and glanced away.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Me, too.”

The despair in her voice cut him. This whole thing had been one big tease for Abby and himself. He wished he could take it all back. Actually, no. “I wish things were different,” he said.

Abby hugged her arms to herself. “No, you don’t. You’d be wishing S2J away and you don’t want that, either.”

She had a point. S2J was a dream come true. Like anyone else, he wished he could have his cake and eat it, too. Nathan had all he could ever want and life still wasn’t fair.

“We could just be friends…” she said, as if she were grasping at a lifeline.

“But we’re not.”

“We could be.”

Nathan locked his hands on his lap. He understood. He wanted to grab at excuses or reasons or alternatives, but he knew that in the end, it wouldn’t work for one simple reason. “No, we can’t, Abby. I could never be friends with you unless we were also something more.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “I guess sometimes it just hurts being different.”

Nathan’s fan club motto flashed in his head.
I’m a Strong girl.
Abby fit it perfectly. She didn’t just sit back and wait for her dreams; she went after them, which was exactly what she needed to focus on now. “I think it takes courage, which is one thing you have a hell of a lot of.”

She smiled softly. “Doesn’t feel like it right now.”

He patted her back, caught between needing to put a stop to this and wanting to hold her. “Don’t worry about all that. You’re going to be a mega superstar, but more importantly, you’re going to share your stories with the world.”

Abby pulled away, half grinning, half grimacing. “I hope you’re right or this would all be for nothing.”