Abram's Daughters 03 The Sacrifice (12 page)

Mary Ruth volunteered quickly when Mamma asked for someone to take one of two batches of graham-cracker pudding over to the Peacheys' the Thursday following Elias's luneral. Glad for an excuse to clear her head in the chilly air, she headed across the cornfield to the neighbors', low in spirit and dressed in the black garb of a mourner. Spying Adah's younger sister driving into the lane, she hurried to deliver the pudding to Miriam, then returned to help Dorcas unhitch the horse from the carriage. , .,..:' , ..":

"Are ya doin' all right, Mary Rufh?" asked Dorcas, who.

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reached for and squeezed her hand. .

"No . . . not so gut. Not at all, to be honest." .

"I'm ever so sorry for ya, truly I am." Dorcas let go of her hand and looked around like she wanted to say something private. "Have ya heard tell of the meeting last night in Quarryville?" she asked.

Mary Ruth had not.

Dorcas leaned closer and whispered now. "You could go 'n' see for yourself."

"How's that?"

" 'Cause there's another gathering tonight. I wish I could go again, but maybe you could. Might help ya some."

She urged Dorcas to tell her more and was surprised to hear the Englisher who'd hit and killed Elias had stood up in the meeting and made a sober apology. "Ever so odd it was, yet awful sad, too. I mean, we Amish just wouldn't think of holdin' a grudge against someone, yet there he was, talkin' like that. I tell ya it made us all cry. Every one of us."

Mary Ruth didn't bother to ask who all from Gobbler's Knob had gone, but she assumed from what Dorcas was saying that a sorrowing bunch of the youth had made the trip, seeking for something more than the Amish church could offer.

By Thanksgiving night, the very evening following Robert's apology, the Mennonite meetinghouse had filled to capacity simply by word of mouth the local Amish grapevine was evidently lightning quick. Robert was surprised to see an even larger group of Old Order youth there to mourn

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f their friend Elias and hear of God's goodness and grace some

sfoi" I he first time, he was certain.

When Reverend Longenecker asked Robert to stand and ylvc his testimony, he did so with confidence. Later, when the

111 I nister gave the altar call, ten more Amish young people Clime forward to open their hearts to the Lord Jesus.

The first Saturday after Elias's death, Leah happened to overhear Mary Ruth squabbling with Dat out in the barn. "I Heed to take the family buggy tonight," she was insisting. "Where to?" Dat asked. , -.,''',.;:;: \ "....

"Quarryville." . :'. :.[ . ; : .

"What's down there?" ..:.-

"A gathering of young folk, is all." ,, ;

"Amish youth?" "No."

Dat drew in an audible breath. "I forbid you to go, then."

She wotikdered if nC) toO) might've heard all the talk the

reports of a throng of Amish young folk finding God at the

Metmonite church. "Well, I'm goin', anyway. One way or the

in her, I am!"

I "Just 'cause you're in the midst of rumschpringe . . . ifeesn't mean you should be back-talkin' your father!" Dat Hot back and rather loudly at that.

B "Well, if I'm old enough to run around with boys, Hlouldn't I be allowed to speak my mind 'bout some things?" I Leah felt terrible about standing there behind the wall of [the milk house, just off the main part of the barn. Yet she

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hardly knew how to make her presence known. And, truth be told, she wasn't sure she wanted to.

Mary Ruth didn't wait for Dat to give his answer; she simply ran out of the barn, crying as she went.

Leah scarcely knew what to do or say, though she hurt something fierce for both Dat and Mary Ruth. She also felt awkward to know how to get herself out of the milk house without Dat spotting her and wanting to know what the world she was doing sneaking around like that, listening in on a private conversation.

So she set about cleaning out the place once again, sweeping, then rinsing down the floor, stopping only when she happened to realize Dat had come in and was standing there staring at her, for who knows how long, waiting.

"Your sister's bent on havin' her own way, as you already know. Might be best, next time should there be a next time to cough or sneeze or something, Leah. Eavesdropping is out-and-out deceitful. Best be more respectful from this time forth."

Before she could speak, he turned and left, his work boots making powerful clumps against the ground. She was glad he'd left, in a way, because she would not have been able to defend herself, nor did she want to. Truth was, she felt nearly as innocent as the dogs King, Blackie, and Sassy who'd also been privy to Dat's wrath and Mary Ruth's foolhardy determination.

Put out with herself and, if she dared admit it, with Dat, too, Leah hurried to the house, her father nowhere in sight. She could hear Lydiann wailing her lungs out. "There, there," she said, running upstairs to rescue the napped-out tot. "Did

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lyou get left up here all by your lonesome? Did Mamma forget I'bout ya?"

I Such a thing was no way near the truth. Mamma had krobably gone to the outhouse. Hannah, meanwhile, was redding up her and Mary Ruth's bedroom, and Mary Ruth was itflit now running pell-mell down the lane, heading toward khe road. Just where she thought she was going was anybody's hucss. Leah was concerned about her grieving sister and Vished she might help in some way, do something to ease not bn ly the tension between Dat and Mary Ruth, but lessen the fcche in Mary Ruth's heart.

I "Let's go downstairs and see what Dawdi John's doin'," she Iwhispered to Lydiann. The tiny girl's eyes were wide and mright from awakening, though tears still glistened from her fcltention-getting cries. "Your grandfather hasn't seen you yet oday, so it's time we go over and visit, ain't so?" She continlied to coo as she carried her sister down the stairs, through lie front room, and over to the small attached home built l)iito the main house. The Dawdi Haus was a refuge for elderly l>r single rels&ives. For Leah, it was a comfort to be able to go ind sit with Mamma's father in his cozy front room, situated fclose enough to the cook stove in the tiny kitchen to keep it RviiriTi on even winter days. I "There, now." She set Lydiann down near Dawdi.

I "Did you come to see your oF Papa?" He reached for her

If

in id Lydiann held up her chubby arms.

"That-a girl," he said, putting her on his knee and bounc' Ing her gently. "Here's a horsey, a-trottin' and a-goin' to liiurket ... to market."

Her sister giggled, and Leah sat down across from them,

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watching with pleasure the joy Lydiann brought to Dawdi to all of them, for that matter. Soon, within another full month, there would be a baby sister or brother for them to hold and love . . . for Lydiann to grow up with, too.

How nice for all of us, 'specially Dawdi, she pondered, knowing he was slowing down more all the time, even though his health had greatly improved and his good days seemed to be very good.

She pondered whether to ask the question she was almost too curious about and how to ask it without causing a stir.

"Dawdi," she began, "I sometimes wonder ... I mean, what do you know 'bout my father?"

A serious look on his face, her grandfather replied, "Well, now, I've been workin' with your father all morning, Leah."

"Ach, you know what I mean, don'tcha?" she said.

He grew more somber. "I know you've had yourself some difficult times, getting adjusted to who the mother was that birthed you. Guess you feel like you have two mammas, ain't?"

"Sometimes, jah, I s'pose I do, though I can't say I think on that so much."

He tilted his head, gazing lovingly at Lydiann. As he did, Leah noticed his beard was thinner than she'd remembered

and whiter, too. "I wish it could stop right there. Wish you could be content with simply knowing 'bout your first mamma, Lizzie, and the woman who raised ya as her very own. Seems to me the rest of it, well, ain't all that important."

"Is there more to Lizzie's secret than she's willin' to share?

I don't know . . . she seems almost closed up about it."

Dawdi said softly, "Or is it something else altogether?"

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Her heart quickened and she sat there in the tiny room, not taking her eyes off Dawdi, hoping this might be the moment of revelation. "Do you know who my blood father

IN?"

He began to shake his head back and forth, slowly at first, .11 id then faster. Then he stopped abruptly and looked straight into her face . . . into her heart, too, it seemed. "I just never i bought you'd care a speck 'bout Lizzie's wildest days. Tis long I' irgotten . .. why dig up the shameful past?" He sighed loudly. "And 'tis hurtful, I must say, dear girl."

"For Lizzie, too?" , ;,

"Above all."

She considered this moment here with Dawdi and the soft I nibble of Lydiann as the moment when she felt she under lood something of her grandfather's love for herself and for I izzie. No matter which woman she claimed as her mother, I >;iwdi John Brenneman was her devoted grandfather, and nothing she could do or not do, know or not know, would i-liange that. Dawdi John was her flesh-and-blood grandfather lor always, ancfcwhat he might know about her paternal origins no longer concerned her. She had asked and not received

[she information she desired.

W

j She must simply wait for it to unfold before her, as surely

Bt would in time.

All day Mary Ruth waited for the tension to diminish Ui;ween herself and Dat. At the noon meal she found the :.i rain even harder to bear, as her father refused to ask her to

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pass the potatoes and gravy, even though they were clearly in front of her. Instead, he asked Hannah or Leah, making it seem as if she wasn't even present at the table.

Is this what it's like to be under the Bann? she thought.

She could not get used to the fact her own father did not come close to understanding her. Not only did he not understand or attempt to, she felt he was too harsh in his stance.

When dusk fell and she was still wishing to attend the nighttime church meeting, she asked Dat once again if she might borrow the family buggy. This, after supper dishes were cleared off the table, washed, and put away. She attempted to soften her voice and her approach, though she felt as if she might boil over with eagerness. "I'll take gut care, Dat, honest I will. If you'll just think 'bout letting me go ..."

"You should not be goin' alone after dark," Dat said.

"I could take Hannah, if you'll let her come along." She wondered momentarily how that would set, since Hannah was already a baptized church member.

"What's the urgency to go all that way?" he asked.

She refused to confess the rumors that Plain teenagers were getting religion. "I'll know better once I get there," she said best as she could muster. "Ach, just say I can go."

"Why not stay home, help your mamma bathe Lydiann and whatnot?" He wasn't budging.

"Please, Dat, won'tcha let me take the buggy and Hannah, too? We won't be gone long."

He turned beet red and pulled hard on his beard, making his lower lip protrude. "I'm not in favor of it; no way, no how." He stared at her, a frown crossing his brow. "But ... I s'pose 'tis better to have ya goin' in my family carriage than

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Ill runnin' round with empty-headed boys all hours." I I Ie was referring to Elias's reckless buggy driving, no pllbt, before it got him killed. But she kept her mouth raised. Stunned that she was actually allowed to go, however Muctantly Dat had granted permission, she did not voice her Biritude. She took off running to the barn to get the horse Fill carriage hitched before he could change his mind.

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I Mary Ruth had unconsciously retained the image of tall bung Robert Schwartz from Elias's funeral, and when she saw im sitting on the men's side of the meetinghouse, her anger ks rekindled. Yet she was strangely conscious of his Imeanor, his compelling and kind, yet sad eyes. The minister Itroduced the young man as having a zealous testimony of lod's forgiveness and grace before asking him to rise and knd behind the pulpit. Already this was not at all like an Iniish preaching service.

I Beside her, H&nnah fidgeted, glancing at Mary Ruth, lobably wishing she hadn't come along now that they were tied into the seventh row on the left side with the other Binen. Surprisingly there were numerous youth present, a lot! many of them from their own church district. I When Robert read his sermon text in English, she woniivd how this could possibly be. She had never known a Itbering where the Scripture was read, and so freely, not kin the High German but in a language understandable to I present. And to think that this young man was the acher tonight! ; >:

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" 'Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.'" He read the text from the epistle of James, chapter one. The doctor's son went on to say it was "high time for men and women to stand up and be counted for the Lord. We are called to do His work. But in order to make our bodies a living sacrifice to this high calling to be used of Him in the harvest fields of souls we must first present ourselves to the Most High God. Do not wait until it is too late to 'Give of your best to the Master. Give of the strength of your youth.'"

Mary Ruth intently listened to words and phrases from sections of the Bible she was completely unfamiliar with, and she hungered for more.

The engrafted word, which is able to save your souls . . .

The young preacher continued. "We all of us are lost, and we're inclined toward sin and the self ruin that follows.