Absolute Mayhem (13 page)

The first time you see me in the 'Behind the
Scenes' section of
Dark Angels 2: Bloodline
, my
personal favourite of all my films, it isn't the part where
I'm fl exing my legs and practising my kick-boxing
stunts. Neither is it my rehearsals of the fight scene with
Dillon Day where he's on the ground and I attack him
from above, which we went over again and again while
trying not to laugh. It is the part where I'm bending
over, trying to do some warm-up callisthenics and yoga
stretching exercises. Why? Because they could point the
camera straight at my ass and shoot me from behind.
But, in all seriousness, warming up and stretching are
very important parts of my job.

To survive this business, you have to take care of your
well-being. I am quite a believer in the holistic mind–
body relationship, and I do think that a sound mind
needs to go with a sound body. This industry constantly
poses challenges to that equation. I can barely count the
weird things I have had to deal with now, because there
have been way too many to recall, but let me cite a few.

Back when I started out, when Roy Garcia was my
agent, I did a shoot for a Japanese company. I was brand
new and willing to try pretty much anything. A Japanese
company came into town with some famous Japanese
male porn star (and a translator, because none of them
spoke English). We started the scene off like a typical
gonzo shoot – no plot, no script – and then suddenly
they're yelling at me to scream louder.

So I thought, 'Okay, they want me to highly exaggerate
it.'

I did the loud moans and groans, and then they
were like, 'No, louder!' So I did it louder. And again,
'Louder!'

At that point, I stopped and said, 'Look, are you
fucking serious? I'm moaning as loud as I can!'

The translator pulled me aside and told me that the
Japanese get off on the appearance of a girl getting
raped. So they actually wanted me to scream like I was
terrified, like I was being raped. And he wasn't kidding.
That's what they wanted. I was not comfortable with this
at all. I didn't sign up to be 'raped', nor did I want to
act like I was, and I thought the whole thing was really
twisted. So I did the best I could do. I realise I could
have just acted and screamed like crazy, but it just didn't
seem right to me. Apparently, they were not happy with
my performance at all. But who cares? I wasn't happy
with the way I was treated. How was I supposed to fake
being raped like I was enjoying it?

I know this is a very real phenomenon in Japanese
porn – the prevailing theory is that Japanese men are
brought up by very strict mothers and use porn to
channel their resentment of women – so we had a real
culture clash there.

On another occasion, I found myself sought after for
yet another Japanese scenario. This shoot would entail
me spending an hour kicking a guy in the nuts really
hard and then jerking him off to pop – a quickie scene
for US$500. When it was offered to me, I thought, 'Hmm,
wouldn't that be hilarious, to kick a guy in the nuts?'

Later, I learned that the Japanese have a whole
sub-genre of porn dedicated to this, which even has a
name –
tamakeri
(which, loosely translated, means
'ball-kicking'). There are female porn stars in Japan,
like Erika Nagai, who specialise in it, and there are even
ground rules to be observed (yes,
tamakeri
etiquette).
The male actor has to maintain his erection during and
after he is being kicked, and the girl is supposed to kick
him as hard as possible so that a loud, slapping sound
can be heard. Japanese social scientists have studied
tamakeri
, and one of them, Nobuhiro Hashimoto,
believes it's due to the 'latent masochism' in Japanese
male culture – the kind of thing that's also exemplified
by other kinds of Japanese porn, like scenes featuring the
opposite of a gang-bang, where a bunch of hot Japanese
babes take turns urinating on a helpless guy, and those
where the girls, after pissing, take turns excreting on the
guy! Japanese guys really get off on this kind of shit?
I'm not sure I'd venture any further than
tamakeri
,
thank you.

I did once work on an anime porn project, using my
voice for the English version of the soundtrack. The film
was called
Kokudu-oh
and it was a lot of fun to record.
I love doing voice-over work and would like to do more
of it. In this particular anime (or, more precisely,
hentai
,
as animated porn is called in Japan), I voiced Princess
Bellecher, a very sexy blonde virgin princess, with (of
course) huge boobs. There was a prince and another girl
(voiced by Aria Giovanni) and the whole thing consisted
of four episodes.

The storyline has the prince looking for a wife to
become the queen of the kingdom. In one scene, he rapes
Princess Bellecher in a jacuzzi and the tub fills up with
blood, and I had to make the funniest noises to kind of
make it sound like the Japanese version. Another scene
had him locking Princess Bellecher up in a room before
tying her nipples to the floor so that every time she tried
to move, she would be in great pain. And he also gives
her an enema at one point. There was a lot of raping and
sexual abuse going on in that movie – just the way they
like it in Japan.

We were recording my voice to sell the film to an
American fan base, but I don't think it did very well over
here, because the company went broke. When I had to
sign autographs for it at a comic convention in Long
Beach, though, the comic fans went absolutely nuts.
They love these
hentai
movies – and the queues were
even longer than the ones I've dealt with signing for real
porn fans at the AVN Expo!

How do I do this kind of work at all, you might well
ask, and what does it do to my head? On the simplest
level, all porn stars know that we have to perform blow
jobs while we're being filmed, and that alone is a mental
Zen exercise. There's a lot of gobbling in porn, so if you
don't like taking a penis in your mouth you can't be a
porn star – there's no two ways around that. But there
are a lot of issues you have to be mentally prepared for.

For starters, you have to find different ways to pleasure
a guy orally, and the girls who are good at it know all
the tricks – using saliva, sucking his balls and then his
shaft and going back and forth on that, using one hand
to stroke and sometimes both hands to rotate the area
around the shaft – but there are times when you've got
to work five times as hard for the same result.

And then there is the whole issue with swallowing
sperm. Some girls really get neurotic about this but
I don't have a problem with it at all. In real life, I like
swallowing if I like the guy I'm with. For a movie,
I'll swallow if I'm directed to do so. It doesn't matter
who the guy is, really.

What I don't like is getting cum in my eyes. I remember
one shoot where I was told I was going to be doing
a threesome. I wasn't told the names of the girl and the
guy or anything before I arrived and actually met them,
and when I did they were strangers to me. (Isn't that
amazing? Going to work, not knowing whom you're
going to be fucking, only that you will be?) Anyway, the
truth is I like doing threesomes. I don't mean necessarily
in real life, but when it's for a movie. The reason is
clear after you've worked like I have for a while. Because
you're doing two positions each – two on the girl and
two on the guy, instead of four positions on just one
guy – it's so much easier on your body.

The shoot turned out to be quite long, but it was
pretty good. The girl had big titties, which I love.
The guy who was scheduled for our scene bailed out
because he had girlfriend drama (how lame!) so we got
a production assistant from the crew to do it. Lucky guy,
huh? He was awesome and had a nice cock. It was his
second scene ever, and he came all over our faces when
it was supposed to be only from the chin down. He just
couldn't control it. It was a real 'Peter North' pop shot,
as we call it (named after the male porn stud famous
for his 'beer can' ejaculations). But I was not happy
about getting cum in my eye. It was still throbbing after
the shoot and I had to cancel a live chat session for
my website that night. Damn it! Did anyone ever warn
me about the occupational hazard of getting cum in my
eye? Of course not.

There have been times when I've felt like the guy had
too much control over me when I was sucking him, and
that I was giving away too much of myself. Lots of guys
just want you to suck it because it's an ego trip for them.
In my personal life, if I sense that they're just being a
selfish prick, I won't always give them the satisfaction
(simply because I know I do it pretty well, and they need
to earn that privilege from me).

When all you have to do is a blow-job scene and
you don't have to have penetrative sex with the guy,
giving good head is an excellent way of performing
to get quick cash. This is truly a win–win situation if
the guy I have to be with happens to have a very large
cock.

For any girl, huge cocks can really be a source of pain.
Quite a few guys in the industry are hung like horses
and some girls seem to love this – usually because they
are loose enough to take it – but not me, since I'm very
small down there. When I've done a scene that has been
particularly painful, I like to use an ice pack between
my legs and try not to have sex or touch that area until
the next time I have to work or until it stops hurting,
whichever comes first.

Anal sex is a different matter. As you know, I've only
ever done one anal scene on-camera
.
I could have made
US$5000 for other anal sex scenes, which was what a lot
of directors were offering me, but I thought I was being
smart owning my own anal scene. Oh well. The main
thing about preparing for anal sex is adjusting your
headspace. It helps if you've done it in real life, so that
you've tried it before doing it in front of a camera. And
you
must
like it a little bit. Some girls love it (or say they
love it) but I'm honest enough to admit that it was really
uncomfortable for me.

Before shooting an anal-sex scene, you need to do an
enema beforehand to clean yourself out. Don't eat and
definitely drink no coffee and use no laxatives before the
shoot – you don't want any messy accidents! And just
relax. (Ah, isn't that the hard part?) If the guy doesn't
know how to do anal, you're in trouble. They need to
ease it in, because there are three layers to penetrate,
and once you get past that third layer, it's not so bad.
For myself, however, I'd say give me plain and simple
vaginal intercourse any time (although there
have
been
a few occasions in my private life, I admit, where I'll
have a mood swing while having sex and yell out, 'Put
it in my ass!').

So, while we're still in that area, let me share something
with you that you might be wondering about:
how do porn stars get their assholes so clean shaven and
good looking? The comedian Sarah Silverman wrote an
article for the December 1999 issue of
Penthouse
called
'Thank Heaven for Penthouse Pets' in which she said
that the first and foremost reason why she admires them
is because 'Penthouse Pets wax their assholes. Right
there, you gotta respect that. For that, they deserve the
Purple Heart. I don't have the guts to wax my asshole,
and neither do you.'

That's pretty funny, but I'll tell you for the record that
I've never waxed my asshole
.
But I do have my own
foolproof method. I do it only when I have to shoot, and
it's the most pain-in-the-ass fucking procedure. First
of all, you can do it in your bathtub or in the shower,
but you must not have the water running on you. You
have to squat down and get there from underneath – I'll
put one leg up, spread a cheek, bend over and shave,
and then do the other side, put the other leg up, bend
over and shave. It's really, really difficult and you have to
be a contortionist. I'm not into waxing – it's not a good
idea to get that area waxed because you might tear
something – and I don't know any other way. I think
some girls do wax and some girls just don't get hair
growing there, so they're just lucky. It's really, really irritating,
trying to shave your own asshole – now there's
another occupational hazard! It is very easy to nick
yourself. That's happened to me, though nothing bad,
and it occurred when I was rushing it.

As for my vagina, I don't like being fully shaved. I like
leaving a tiny strip of hair – which we call the 'landing
strip'. (When I'm fully shaved, like I have to be on some
shoots, I feel like I'm a baby or a 12-year-old.) As I've
already confessed, when I first started I didn't really know
what I needed to do. I didn't even know that you had
to shave around your vaginal lips and everything. But I
learned pretty fast that girls don't like it much when they
have to work with other girls who are really bushy down
there, because of getting all that hair in their mouths. It's
unhygienic and doesn't do anything for anyone.

I shave my vagina every day when I'm shooting, or as
oft en as necessary when I'm not. Sometimes, you'll get
an uncomfortable rash if you don't shave for a few days.
I use a vibrating Gillette Venus. I never cut myself there,
and when I shave in the shower it can be quite fun.

In my line of work, whether you perform anal or
not, there's the constant exposure to STDs. I get myself
tested every 28 days, and I've always gone through
Adult Industry Medical (AIM) Healthcare in Sherman
Oaks, the excellent facility started by former porn star
Sharon Mitchell and her friend Dr Stephen York. It was
founded in 1998 to help sex workers get themselves
tested regularly and has two locations in Southern California
(in Sherman Oaks and Granada Hills). Sharon
herself has a PhD in human sexuality and is very active,
both in the medical community and as the industry's
de facto spokesperson to the press whenever an AIDS
or HIV scare occurs. I've asked my doctor how much
it would cost to get my tests done through their clinic
every month, and it would be US$350, as opposed to
AIM, which charges US$120 per month.