Absolution (The Protectors, Book 1) (8 page)

I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling around the younger man. Jonas’s touch wasn’t exactly sexual but if a woman had been touching me in the same way, I wouldn’t have hesitated to act on the curiosity that was flooding through me now. Was what I was feeling about attraction or was it about just needing to connect with another person in a way I hadn’t in a really long time? I’d never once in my life even looked at another man in the same way that I had women.

It had to be the stress. There was no other explanation. And my body was reacting to Jonas because we had a connection that was born of terrible circumstances. If I’d met Jonas on the street, I wouldn’t have given him a second thought.

What about Mace?

“I should probably get back to the guests,” I muttered as I pushed back the memory of the sensation that had rushed through me when Mace had had me in his grip.

It’s fucking stress.

Jonas nodded and removed the ice pack.

“Jonas, can I ask what you put on Carrie’s casket?”

The younger man was in the process of reaching for a towel when I asked the question and I didn’t miss the way he stiffened.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” I said.

“It was a picture,” he said as he began drying off my hand from where the condensation from the ice pack had dampened it.

“A picture?” I prodded.

“A drawing,” he clarified. “Of you,” he admitted, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “I would have done your entire family if I had known what your parents looked like,” he added. “I’m pretty good at remembering faces,” he said quickly. “I didn’t sneak a picture of you or anything.”

I smiled at that. “Thank you for doing that for her.”

“I, um…I did one for you,” Jonas said softly and then he reached for a sketchbook that I hadn’t noticed sitting on the edge of the sink. I could see his fingers trembling just a little bit as he pulled a loose piece of paper from between the pages of the pad.

It seemed to take Jonas a moment to work up the courage to hand it to me. I’d prepared myself for a simple sketch of Carrie’s features which would have been undoubtedly distorted considering how much time had passed since Jonas had last seen her. But the girl I saw looking back at me was exactly the Carrie I remembered. Jonas hadn’t just gotten her features right; he’d gotten everything right. The way her eyes lit up from the inside, the slight lift in her smile that made you wonder what she was thinking and the coy way she tilted her head as if she knew exactly what
you
were thinking.

“She looks exactly like the last time I saw her. We played cards for hours and hours on Thanksgiving night during my last leave before she disappeared…It’s perfect,” I whispered and then I did what I’d wanted to do since the day I’d gone to Jonas’s studio to apologize. I enfolded Jonas in my arms and I felt a big breath escape me as his arms wrapped around my waist. We were still both sitting so the angle didn’t let me pull him up against me the way I wanted to but I still reveled in how at ease I finally felt. I tried not to think on it too much that I liked the soft fragrances of aftershave and man teasing my senses, or the way Jonas’s hard body flexed beneath my palms. Or that the feel of his jaw brushing my neck felt insanely good. And I definitely did my best not to dwell on the fact that it would be so easy to turn my head just a little so my lips could taste his skin, flutter over his pulse, skim over his full lips.

I was lucky that Jonas finally pulled back on his own because I was struggling to be the first one to end the contact. But then Jonas sent me a tremulous smile and I knew I was fucked. Completely and royally.

Mace

The first thing I noticed as I pulled the van into an open spot in front of Jonas’s gallery was a gorgeous ass in a tight pair of jeans sticking out from beneath the hood of Jonas’s car. I had no doubt who the ass belonged to, since I’d caught myself looking at it more than once. The last time had been the day before when I pulled Cole off the unlucky bastard he’d decided to let his rage loose on. Jonas and I had arrived at Cole’s house just in time to see Cole shove the skinny, stringy haired guy down the porch stairs. I hadn’t actually heard anything the two men said to each other so I had no idea what had caused the fight, but a part of me had enjoyed seeing someone as cool and collected as Cole lose it. But I hadn’t liked the crowd that’d gathered around to watch Cole’s meltdown.

It actually hadn’t been easy to drag Cole off the guy and I hadn’t missed the hungry look in Cole’s eyes as he fought me, albeit briefly. His unspent fury felt familiar to me and I’d actually felt a perverse need to let him do whatever he needed to do to lance the wounds that drove him. I’d also felt something else that I was trying very hard not to dwell on.

I hadn’t seen Cole after that because I’d stayed in the van during the service. I’d spent much of the time trying to figure out my next steps, because the call from Mav that I’d finally managed to return after Ronan left had only left me with more questions than answers. I knew Cole was a decorated Navy SEAL who’d been honorably discharged in recent weeks and I’d wondered why a man in the prime of his career would walk away from it. At twenty-nine, Cole still had plenty of years left to serve his country and from his stellar record, he’d done more than his fair share of it. I hadn’t seen any signs of PTSD and from the information I’d gleaned about his sister, the discovery of her death occurred after his discharge.

Which led me to the problems I was having with figuring out Jonas’s connection to Cole and his sister. While Cole had mentioned a police report that described Carrie’s death, he’d also hinted at Jonas knowing something about what had happened to her. The problem was that Mav hadn’t been able to find any details about Carrie Bridgerton’s death. All he’d found was a missing person’s report her parents had filed years earlier.

I’d had Benny send me all the emails between Devlin Prescott and Jonas from the time their relationship started, and while there weren’t a lot of them, they were regular enough to prove that they’d been seeing each other from the time Jonas was fourteen up through the time he’d spent in Paris. Which meant Jonas would have likely met Carrie while he’d been living in Boston or possibly during one of his trips to Manhattan to meet up with Devlin.

The idea of Jonas and Devlin Prescott made me physically ill, and I’d been tempted on more than one occasion in the last couple of days to grab my rifle and head up to the Hamptons to take out the monster who’d started this whole thing…the man who’d turned Jonas into what he was. But first and foremost, I needed to figure out what the hell was going on with Jonas because Ronan’s patience would only last for so long. I knew in my gut that something about this whole thing was really fucked up but I just couldn’t figure out the piece I was missing.

As I got out of the van, I heard Jonas’s car start up. My plan had been to fix the car I’d intentionally disabled before Jonas got up. I hadn’t planned on Cole showing up though.

“Morning,” I said to Jonas as he climbed out of the car, a smile on his face.

“Morning. Cole fixed it,” he said, motioning to his car where Cole was in the process of releasing the hood so he could close it.

Cole’s cobalt eyes shifted to me when he said, “Loose wire on the distributor cap. Surprised you missed it.”

“Huh,” I said non-committedly. “Glad you figured it out.”

“He’s a lifesaver,” Jonas said as he started loading some boxes that were stacked up on the curb next to the car. “It would have sucked trying to get these into a cab.”

“Didn’t expect to see you again so soon,” I said to Cole.

“Jonas left his sketchpad at my house,” Cole responded as he began helping Jonas with the boxes. “I knew it was important to him…”

“Cole’s going to help me deliver some of these art supplies today,” Jonas added. “If you need anything, you can call me on my cell.”

Right. Because I was the fucking help.

“Sure,” I murmured as I went through the motions of getting my shit out of the van. I did my best not to watch Jonas and Cole laugh as they struggled to fit the boxes into Jonas’s little hatchback sedan. I hated the jealously that ate away at me but I hated knowing that my irritation stemmed more from being an outsider rather than Jonas and Cole being together. Because there was something about the two of them…

“Bye, Mace,” Jonas called as he and Cole got into his car. I returned his wave as I got the last of my things out of the van but I didn’t bother taking them into the studio. Instead, I put the tools back into the van, slammed the doors shut and locked up the gallery. It took just minutes to walk to my regular car which was parked in an alley one block over. Following Jonas and Cole wasn’t really necessary but I convinced myself otherwise and brought up the app on my phone that linked to the GPS tracker I’d placed in the wheel well of Jonas’s car the day before.

It took just minutes to catch up to them but I made sure to maintain my distance. They ended up making three stops at various schools and I was surprised how much time they spent at each one. I would have liked to see how Jonas interacted with the kids but figured with Cole’s presence, he would probably hide any interest he might have had in any one kid. Even as the thought crossed my mind, I wanted to spit out the bitter taste that flooded my mouth. And it wasn’t because I believed that Jonas was guilty of the things he stood accused of…the things I had proof he’d done. It was because I needed him not to be. Because I knew, had known for a while now, that I wouldn’t be pulling the trigger, no matter what happened. I’d thought after seeing the emails between Jonas and Devlin that I could do what I needed to do but as I’d lain in bed that night listening to Jonas’s cries as he struggled with his relentless nightmares, I’d known then that I couldn’t punish him for something that had been done to him.

Only problem was, if I didn’t pull the trigger, Ronan would send someone who would. Someone who wouldn’t see Jonas’s kindness or gentle nature or his need to comfort…or the pain that consumed him. They wouldn’t care that he’d suffered at the hands of another. They would deliver justice, not mercy.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop the men that Ronan would send so I was left with only one choice. Take Jonas and run. Find a place for him to start a new life and make sure he got some help so he wouldn’t hurt anymore kids.

He’d hate me of course. There was just no way around that. But I wanted him alive more than I wanted him to keep looking at me like he always did – with equal parts of want and need and just a hint of fear.

As I followed Jonas and Cole to a deli, I parked across the street and far enough down the block that I wouldn’t be visible, but had enough of a view to watch them as they ate in the outdoor seating area. Jonas looked so at ease with Cole that I felt envious. What would it be like to have Jonas smile like that at me? What would his laugh sound like?

What did it fucking matter? I was about to destroy his entire life.

A rush of anger and frustration surged through me and I started up my car and headed back to the gallery. I’d seen that there were still boxes in Jonas’s car so he likely had more stops to make before he got back to the gallery, but I didn’t want to risk not being there if he came back early.

I’d made a lot of progress on Jonas’s studio and had only a couple more days’ worth of work. It didn’t leave me much time to make plans for figuring out how to get Jonas out of the mess he was in.

It was close to three o’clock when I heard the gallery door open. I expected to hear heavy footsteps but when there was nothing, I left the studio and walked up front. I was surprised to see a pregnant woman wandering around the space, her hand resting on her protruding belly. I knew instantly who she was because I’d seen her picture in the many articles I’d read in the hopes of understanding her connection to Jonas.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

The woman startled and I felt bad when I saw a rush of fear go through her briefly before she gathered herself.

“Sorry,” I said.

She laughed and shook her head. “No, it’s my fault. I was thinking about something else. Um, is Jonas here?”

“No, he’s not, but he should be back soon.”

“Are you Mace?” she asked as she gave me a quick once over. I liked that she closed the distance between us. With my size and my tats, I wasn’t exactly the most approachable guy.

“I am,” I said as I automatically held out my hand when she introduced herself.

“I’m Casey Prescott. I’m a friend of Jonas’s.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said. An uneasy rush of emotion went through me as she spoke because the lilt of her voice and her warm smile reminded me of someone I’d lost long ago…someone I’d driven away. Someone who’d once been my entire world.

“This place looks amazing,” she said as she looked around. “May I?” she asked, motioning to the doorway that led to the studio.

“Please,” I said.

“Wow,” she said as she took in the now clean room. I’d managed to get the last wall up the day before and had started on hanging the lights.

“Case, you here?” I heard Jonas call.

“Back here!” Casey called. She met him in the doorway and there was no hesitation between them as Jonas dragged her into his arms. A twinge of anger went through me at what Jonas was doing with this woman’s husband behind her back, but I reminded myself he was a victim.

“I thought that was your car out front,” Jonas said as he pulled back. I could see Cole standing just behind the pair.

“Devlin had a Board meeting to attend, so I thought I’d tag along and see how things were coming along. It’s perfect, Jonas,” she said as she looked around the room. “The kids are going to love it.”

The wide smile that spread across Jonas’s lips had me shifting uncomfortably. He looked so genuinely happy that I had to wonder if he’d somehow compartmentalized his actions, because I couldn’t explain his complete and utter lack of guilt.

Unless he didn’t have anything to feel guilty about.

The thought was so unexpected that I actually took a step back. Was that even a possibility?

“Case, this is Cole,” I heard Jonas say despite the roaring in my ears. “Cole, this is Casey Prescott.”

I picked up on the sudden tension in Jonas’s voice and that helped settle the disturbing thoughts that had started to rattle around my head.

“Hi,” Cole said as he extended his hand. But like Jonas, Casey wasn’t having any of it and she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Cole. And just like with Jonas, he seemed caught off guard by the hug but he recovered quickly.

“I’m so sorry about Carrie, Cole. I wish I’d gotten there sooner…”

At Casey’s words, I froze. Had she known Carrie? How was that possible?

I thought back to what little I knew about Casey’s life before she’d married her husband. The possible connection between her and Cole’s sister hit me hard and fast and I was actually reaching for my phone to call Mav before I remembered where I was.

“Mace?”

I had no idea how Jonas’s voice pierced the fog that clouded my brain but when I looked up, I saw all three of them looking at me with concern.

“What?” I asked.

“You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, sorry,” I stammered. “Was someone talking to me?”

“I was asking if you might be able to come to Jonas’s birthday party tomorrow night at our house in the Hamptons. We’re celebrating a week early because we’re leaving for Ireland on Friday,” Casey said, her voice thick with concern.

“Yeah, sure – I’d love to,” I rattled off.

I tuned out again after that and automatically began gathering my tools. I needed to get the hell out of there and call Mav. I needed some fucking answers. I needed to know that I hadn’t nearly done the unthinkable.

“You sure you’re okay?” Jonas asked when he reappeared by himself in the studio.

“Yeah, just a little tired,” I said. “I’m going to head out if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Jonas quickly said. “About the party, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. And it’s not really a party, more of a dinner. She wrangled Cole into coming too so…”

I wasn’t sure if he was telling me that because he could sense the tension between me and Cole, or if he just didn’t want me there. In truth, I was too shaken to even worry about it so I didn’t answer him.

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jonas asked awkwardly.

I nodded but as Jonas passed me on his way towards the stairs that led to his apartment, I said, “Casey’s really nice. Have you guys been friends for a while?”

Jonas smiled. “Almost eight years. She saved my life,” he said softly. “Night, Mace.”

“Good night.”

I was already dialing Mav’s number by the time I reached the van and he picked up just as I slammed the door shut.

“Hey-”

“I need you to look up the name of the man who tried to kill Casey Prescott,” I barked before Mav could even get another word in. Mav must have sensed my mood because he didn’t ask any questions and I could hear him typing.