Academic Exercises (48 page)

I think I know what he meant.

I know why he never got in touch with any of us after the war. He was so angry about being conscripted. The last thing he wanted was to be a soldier. He didn’t want to have to march all day in sopping wet clothes and sleep on the damp ground and eat garbage and get dysentery and do demeaning physical labour and get ordered about by men who weren’t fit to clean his shoes. He didn’t want to kill anybody, and he most definitely didn’t want to die. But, being Gorgias, when it became obvious that there was no getting out of it, he determined to do his very best, if only to show the ignorant rubbish around him how much better than them he was. He tried really hard. He was determined to get promoted, to make sergeant at least; but he didn’t, and that really hurt him, because he wasn’t good enough, and in the end he knew it. That really depressed him. In the battle, he only survived by pure fluke. He was livid that a savage stole Eudocia’s ring; he tried to fight for it, but the savage punched him in the mouth and (here’s a typical Gorgias phrase) he was left with no alternative but to fall over. While he was in the prison ship, he more or less gave up. He lay there in the dark trying to remember as much as he could of the first book of the
Bessaid,
but he could only remember the opening thirty lines; so he said them to himself over and over again, until they lost all traces of meaning. When they finally let him go, he made a conscious decision that he was through with everything from his past life. He’d betrayed himself and us, we’d betrayed him, the whole world, everything he’d valued and put his trust in had failed him and let him down. As far as he was concerned, he’d died at Thanatta. He made up his mind to walk to the monastery at Eschate—mostly, I think, because it’s a very long way away; as and when he got there, he’d pull himself together and decide what to do next. He made it four-fifths of the way; and then he got ill.

That’s how Gorgias died, Nico. And that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell you, or send you his journal. That Gorgias, of all people, died angry and afraid and in despair; I had to read that book, Nico. I didn’t see why the rest of you should have to.

Well, there you have it. I’ve got a team of clerks making copies of the journal (I’m not going to risk the original in the mail, not even your infallible Imperial couriers). I suppose I was wrong to try and keep it from you all. I’m sorry.

Lamachus won a battle against the insurgents. I enclose a copy of his report. He did a great job and things are going really well.

His Divine Majesty Nicephorus V, brother of the invincible Sun
,
father of his people, defender of the faith, emperor of the Vesani, to Phormio, governor of Upper Tremissis, greetings.

His Majesty commends the courage and diligence of General Lamachus.

I see. Thank you for telling me. Thank you, I suppose, for not telling me. I guess I’ve only got myself to blame.

The trouble with this job, with all the power and the resources and the ability to actually get things done, is that you start believing you can fix things. You see an obvious injustice; fine, you stretch forth your Imperial hand and there, you’ve fixed it. The economy’s in a mess. So, you summon the people who really control it, and you make sure that on their way to your office they’re taken past the guard-room and the dungeon and the place I told you about where the very bad people work, and then you tell them to get it sorted out, and it gets sorted out. You’re disgusted at the poverty in the Naranite Quarter; you send in food, you start up public works to provide employment, problem solved. You think the new wing they’ve built onto the Goldsmiths’ Hall is an eyesore and shouldn’t have been allowed; ten days later, they’re carting it away in big skips. Job done.

But you never fix any damn thing. The obvious injustice turns out to have rather more to it than you first thought. You make them fix inflation, you get a run on the banks. Your public works mean you’ve got to jack up taxes, and small businesses go to the wall. And everybody liked the Goldsmiths’ new wing except you, and you had it pulled down. The more you try and make things better, the more you end up looking, sounding and acting like the Government.

I thought I could fix the Gorgias problem. Either I’d find him alive, or at least we’d know for sure what happened to him. Result; more misery, more unhappiness, which you tried to spare us.

My illustrious ancestors and predecessors in this ridiculous job used to have themselves made into gods. Some of them actually believed it, and I always used to wonder how that was possible.

How can you believe you’re immortal, all-powerful, equal of the invincible Sun, when you’ve got a toothache, or when you’re wiping your arse? But I understand better now. After all, I tried to bring the dead back to life, and look where it got me.

Oh well. Looks like it’s still just the five of us after all.

General Theophano Lamachus, commanding the auxiliary forces in Upper Tremissis, to His Divine Majesty Nicephorus V, brother of the invincible Sun
,
father of his people, defender of the faith, emperor of the Vesani, greetings.

General Lamachus begs His Majesty’s indulgence for the grave breach of protocol which this letter represents. In his defence, he pleads the potential seriousness of the allegations herein contained.

General Lamachus has been given to believe that His Majesty has been making enquiries concerning the whereabouts of Dr Gorgias Bardanes, late of the University of Anassus, formerly a fellow-student with His Majesty at the said University. General Lamachus further understands that Governor Phormio has assured His Majesty that the said Gorgias Bardanes died in Parcys on the seventh day preceding the Ides of Trionalis.

General Lamachus begs to inform His Majesty that this is not the case.

Furthermore, General Lamachus has compelling evidence, acquired during the course of his intelligence operations relating to the current insurgency, that the said Gorgias Bardanes is closely involved with the said insurgency, possibly at the highest level. General Lamachus annexes hereto duly notarised copies of witness statements taken from suspects questioned by him in which said witnesses state, without prompting or coercion, that the said Gorgias Bardanes is involved with the said insurgency. The said witnesses are in custody and can be forwarded to His Majesty at any time.

General Lamachus makes no accusation against Governor Phormio, but begs to suggest to His Majesty that the said Governor Phormio should be questioned by His Majesty or his agents concerning his knowledge of and dealings with the said Gorgias Bardanes.

General Lamachus begs to remind His Majesty that he loyally served His Majesty’s late father, now restored to the Divine Element, for twenty years, and it is General Lamachus’ dearest wish that he be permitted to serve His Majesty with the same loyalty, sincerity and total commitment for as long as His Majesty shall please to employ him in any capacity whatsoever. General Lamachus is aware that in making allegations that might potentially be interpreted as detrimental to the honour of Governor Phormio, he risks His Majesty’s grave displeasure. Should such allegations prove to be unfounded, General Lamachus submits himself willingly and penitently to His Majesty’s mercy, should His Majesty see fit to bestow it.

Phormio, governor of Upper Tremissis, to His Divine Majesty Nicephorus V, brother of the invincible Sun
,
father of his people, defender of the faith, emperor of the Vesani, greetings.

It is with great regret that Phormio begs to inform His Majesty of the death in combat of General Lamachus. The general died bravely and with honour in the act of leading his troops into battle, and the engagement was successful.

He was a steelneck, and besides killing people his only interest in life was dirty books. That said, damn.

They made a surprise attack on the wall. At least, that’s what they thought they were doing. He was there waiting for them, again, and we made a real mess of them. They’d already broken and were about to run; Lamachus saw an opportunity to cut them off and led the charge in person. But something went wrong; he and his guards got there just a bit before the main force, he was surrounded and killed. Once our men realised the general was down, they more or less lost interest, and the bad guys got away. Even so, we killed sixty-two of them and caught another dozen. I don’t know if they realise they got Lamachus; I think they probably do, and if they don’t they soon will. How much of a setback this will prove to be, I don’t know. Damn it, he was making real progress. He made fools of them twice; a few more times and I think they might lose their nerve. Well, it’s up to me now.

Listen to me. It’s getting so I’m afraid to go out in the rain, in case my neck rusts.

I don’t know who you’ll choose to replace him. I do believe we need a fighting general up here. But it’s got to be someone we can control.

His Divine Majesty Nicephorus V, brother of the invincible Sun
,
father of his people, defender of the faith, emperor of the Vesani, to Phormio, governor of Upper Tremissis, greetings.

His Majesty acknowledges Phormio’s report concerning the death of Lamachus.

Enclosed herewith, please find a letter. I got it two days before your last report. You can keep it; I don’t want it back.

Phormio, what the
hell
are you playing at?

Phormio to Nicephorus

I have a confession to make.

Yes, he was alive when I got there. I honestly thought he was dead. But no, he was sitting up in bed, bitching at the nurses. He was bored, his head hurt, the bedlinen was a disgrace, the food was rubbish. Hello Gorgias, I said.

He told me what had happened; Thanassa, and afterwards. All more or less what you’d been told, except for one thing. He was on his way up here to join the insurgency, with a view to taking it over.