Accepting His Terms (6 page)

“Is that what this is about? Jarrod, that’s pretty unrealistic. I don’t have to tell you every move I make.”

“I really don’t know what to think,” he replied as he sat rigidly behind the massive desk and glared at her. “Why the secrecy, if it’s not a big deal?”

“So I have to clear all my comings and goings with you now? I didn’t know that was part of the deal when I agreed to date you. I had lunch plans made before any of this… whatever it is… between us ever took place. I saw no need to change my plans.”

“It didn’t occur to you I might want to treat you to lunch?” he asked.

“No, not really. I didn’t realize that in agreeing to enter into a relationship with you, I had to notify you of everything I did.”

“It would have been nice if you had told me. Do you know what kind of thoughts were running through my head? Are you going to enlighten me as to who this important lunch date was and why it was you kept it a secret?”

“You don’t trust me. That’s it in a nutshell, isn’t it?” she asked angrily.

“This is new to both of us. I would have told you, and I guess that’s why I thought you’d show me the same courtesy.”

“I had lunch with a friend. His name is Tim. It wasn’t a big deal, and no, I never thought about telling you. I can’t deal with this. I’m under enough stress right now trying to get these designs to mesh. I can’t deal with your insecurities, too.” She got up to walk out, but he was beside her before she reached the door. He put his hand on hers and stopped her from opening the door.

“We aren’t going to leave things like this.”

“What are you going to do? Spank me because I didn’t tell you I had a lunch date?”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “No, I’m not going to do that. Why would you ask that? Unless it made you feel better if I did?”

“Would it make you feel better?” she responded.

Deep blue eyes glared at the steely gray-blue ones that held her captive. Finally, they both laughed at the implication.

“We need to set some ground rules,” he replied. “We should have discussed certain issues before, because I expect certain things in this relationship that I’m not sure you agree with. Come back and sit down, we need to get this out in the open, or we’re headed for big trouble.”

“Okay, maybe we do need to talk. I’ve mentioned rules before, you know,” she said as she sat down.

As he looked across the desk at her, he softened his expression slightly. “I know I sometimes come across as the big, bad boss around here. But this is different. This is on a personal level and I don’t want to be that way with you. I will if I have to, though, when it comes to certain issues. I want to protect you. Is that so wrong? I don’t think so. I saw you with your friend today. I was at the deli across the street. At first, I was livid. I thought you were seeing someone behind my back. I realized that was wrong immediately. But I was concerned. I wondered who he was and why you were with him, if he was safe for you to be with, and why you hadn’t mentioned it.”

“Tim is an old friend. I lunch sometimes with just him and at other times with him and his girlfriend. We grew up together. It was an innocent lunch and I really never even thought to tell you I was meeting someone for lunch. I appreciate your need to protect me and I’m sure at times, I probably do need protection, from myself more than anything. But you can’t supervise everything I do. You’ll smother me and we both know that’s a surefire way to kill a relationship, don’t we? You have to trust me as I have to trust you.”

“And do you trust me, Jill?” he asked.

He watched as she twisted her hair and bit her bottom lip. Honestly, he needed to find a way to put a stop to those habits of hers. Finally she spoke. “I do trust you. I trust your judgment, and I trust your integrity.”

“So ground rules,” he began. “From now on, just let me know what you have planned. I’m not going to forbid you to do anything if that’s what you think. I just want to know you’re safe.”

“Fair enough,” she said with a smile. “And will you give me the same courtesy?”

He grinned. “Yes I will. I have no secrets. Now about these little habits of yours, why do you twist your hair and bite your lip? I think I know, but I want you to tell me.”

She looked down at the lap, nervously twisting her hands. “I’ve always been a nervous person. I do these things when I am stressed or upset. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing them.”

“What can I do to help you when you’re stressed or upset? I don’t want you ever to feel that way. I want you to be happy. I want to be the one to make you happy.”

“I don’t know if you can help me. Just be there for me,” she replied as she met his piercing gaze.

“I can think of a way,” he said in a low voice. “Come here.”

She stood up and walked to him. “What are you going to do?”

“We tried this a few times, but the first time was because you needed a lesson enforced. The second time was for play. I think you may find it helps,” he said as he pulled her across his lap.

“What are you doing?”

“I think you know, don’t you?” he asked as he pulled her skirt up over her ass.

He caressed it gently. Pulling her panties down, he smacked her on both cheeks, hard at first, then softer, more intimately. As his hand wandered to her other parts, he heard her gasp. All the tension and anger was gone, he could feel her relax… all he wanted to do was throw her across the massive cherry desk and fuck her senseless. Would she let him?

He found out as he quickly lifted her and laid her down. Unbuckling his belt, he said, “I have to have you, here and now.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” she moaned as he quickly entered her, thrusting hard. When they came together in unison, he chuckled deeply as she called out his name.

“Jill, we have a real problem here,” he said as he stood up and zipped his pants. He gave her a serious look as he formed the words he knew he had to say. He waited until she had straightened her clothes and he had her full attention.

She looked in his eyes and asked, “What’s that?”

“I’ve gone and fallen for you, hook, line, and sinker,” he said. “I have never felt such an urge to protect anyone before. I have never wanted to make life easier for anyone, I have never turned a woman over my knee, and I have never felt the intensity when making love that I feel with you.”

“And this is a problem?” she asked as she looked at him in surprise.

“I’m obsessed with you. You’re all I can think about.”

“What are we going to do about it?”

“I want us to go public with our relationship. I want you… I want you to be my wife.”

“Your wife, did you just say you want me to be your wife?” she asked in surprise.

“That’s exactly what I just said. I think this is what I’ve wanted all along. And   yes, I know we haven’t been together all that long, just a few months. And yes, I have just admitted to you that you bring out a side in me I didn’t know I had. But I don’t want to have an affair with you. I want more. I want us to spend the rest of lives together, building a life. I want to be the man you depend on, the man you can count on.”

“Isn’t this rather sudden? A few months ago, you were my boss who caught me fighting off the mail boy in the elevator, chastising me for not being more careful, and now you want to marry me. I mean, we have gotten close, but marriage? I had no idea you felt this way.”

“Ah, but you see, I’ve wanted you from the first day you walked into this office. I waited. When I saw you in that elevator, my heart stopped. I was afraid I was too late, that he had already hurt you. Had I stepped up sooner and told you how I felt about you, instead of being the seemingly disinterested boss, that never would have happened. The staff would have known by then you belong to me, and he never would have had the balls to mess with the boss’s woman. I tried to do the right thing by spending time together, getting to know you before taking you to bed, and believe me, that was
not
an easy thing to do. I held out as long as I could. I’ve tried to court you, and I’ve tried to give you everything you need in a relationship. But I want the world to know you’re mine and I want to start living our life together. I want to build a life with you.”

“And say we were to get married, would other aspects of our relationship change?”

“What other aspects?”

“I guess what I’m asking is will we have a domestic discipline marriage? Given the fact you’ve never been into that scene until now, and neither have I, it bears discussing, don’t you think? I don’t know if you’d call what we’ve been doing exactly discipline, but the spankings have been a new thing for both of us.”

“Would you want to? Do you want me to be in control? I think of you as an equal, Jill, an intelligent, beautiful woman who fits into my life perfectly. I love as well as admire you. Yes, I’ll admit I’ve enjoyed our little ‘discussions’, but you have to tell me if that’s what you want… or need. And we need to set boundaries, if it is. There are some things I won’t do. Some things I just can’t do. It goes against my upbringing and principals.”

“What do you mean? What things won’t you do?”

“If you’re asking me to enter into a BDSM relationship, I won’t do it. And yes, I know what that is. I actually have a friend who lives that lifestyle. I’ve never understood it, but it’s none of my business. If you’re asking me to be the one who senses when you need some discipline in your life, given the nature of your mood swings and the tension you sometimes feel, that I can do. That works. I don’t want total control.”

“I think I need you to sense when I’m getting out of control emotionally. You’ve seen the way I am, how stressed I can get when I’m working on something or apprehensive about things, or angry, like today.” she said thoughtfully. “You seem to be able to handle that in a way that’s enjoyable, yet effective, for both of us. I love that you don’t want the whole Dom/sub thing. I don’t think I do either. This is us. This is the way we are. It works, or seems to, for both of us. But I’m not sure we’re ready to head to the altar, Jarrod.”

“Why don’t you finish what you were doing and go on home? Sleep on it, give it some thought.  Take a few days off if you need to. But I want an answer soon. I’m ready to take this step. I love you, Jill. I can wait, for now, but I won’t wait forever. I want a life with you, not a torrid, office affair. We can talk about the rest later.”

“You’re really serious about this?” she asked as she stood up.

“I am,” he replied as he leaned in to kiss her.

“I’ll take my work home with me. And I’ll take you up on the few days off. I have a lot to think about.”

“Baby, you haven’t said how you feel about me,” he observed.

“You don’t know?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I did,” he replied.

She walked to where he stood and gazed into his steel gray-blue eyes. “I’ve gone and fallen for you, too. I may not have shown it, but I was afraid of getting in over my head with you. I think we’ve gone way beyond that now.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” he asked in a low, ragged voice.

“I really have no idea,” she said as she turned and walked out of his office, gathered her things, and left.

****

Jill went home and for the rest of the night, she thought about the past few months with Jarrod. She thought about how she had lusted after him, about the day he had told her he wanted to see her outside the office, and she thought about the time they’d spent together since.

Lying awake in her bed in the wee hours of the morning, she realized that without a doubt, he was the man she couldn’t live without. As she twisted her hair and bit her bottom lip, she knew he was the man she needed in her life. He was the man who knew her flaws and her insecurities and he was the man who wanted to find a way to help her with those issues. No one had ever cared before Jarrod. He wanted to protect her, and he wanted her to trust him to do that. As she thought about that, she realized that she did trust him. And she loved him. She knew what her answer would be. There really was no option. He was her life now.

The next night, he called her at home. “I missed you at the office today.”

“I need a week off.”

“You what?” he asked, as his heart fell.

“For my honeymoon,” she said. “I’m planning a trip to Naples, Florida. I’d like to spend a week in a beach house.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?” he asked.

“Tall, jet black hair, gray-blue eyes, you might know him.”

“How soon do you need this week off?” he asked.

“As soon as my groom can put this thing together,” she said. “He’s very resourceful; I think he’ll probably want to do it rather quickly.”

“I see,” he said. “Let me get back to you on that.”

“Sure, I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Jill?” he asked.

“Yes, Jarrod?” she asked in reply.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered just before ending the call.

The next morning, he called her again. “I’ve been looking at the calendar. We can pull this together in a couple of weeks. Is that okay with you?” he asked.

“I’ll need to make some plans and tell my family.”

“I thought it would be small, just our immediate families, is that all right?”

“Yes, it is. We need to make the plans. Come by for dinner tonight. I plan to work from home the rest of the week. There’s just too much going on in the office to concentrate right now. I’ll get more done here.”

“I understand. I’ll be there at six.”

“Italian okay with you?” she asked, “I know it’s your favorite. You took me to that little restaurant at the winery on our first real date.”

“I love it, and I love you. And I remember that day at the winery, too, by the way.”

“Six o’clock then,” she said, blushing.

Chapter Seven

As Jill put the finishing touches on the salad, she checked the oven timer. Perfect! The lasagna would be ready about six-thirty. She had worked all afternoon, finishing some designs, and almost forgot she was cooking for Jarrod tonight. That would never do. She glanced at the clock and saw that she had just enough time to make herself presentable before he arrived.