Accident (19 page)

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Authors: Mihail Sebastian

Tags: #Fiction, #Espionage, #Man-Woman Relationships, #Europe; Central, #Jewish, #War & Military, #Romance Languages (Other), #Literary, #Skis and Skiing, #Foreign Language Study

BOOK: Accident
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In the big chalets there wasn't a single place left, while the little villages hadn't yet woken from their slumber. Even so, Nora knocked on their shuttered windows; but sleepy voices told her to go away.
“You're tiring yourself out for nothing, Miss,” a man who was shovelling snow said to her from his yard. “You're tiring yourself out for nothing. We've even got people sleeping in the garage.”
Annoyed, she returned to the Saxons' hotel, not knowing what to do. She could no longer hope to find free spaces downhill in the Prahova Valley if there were so many people here in Poiana, which was more difficult to reach. The only thing to do, maybe, was to go back down to Braşov and take a train from there in the direction of the Făgăraş Mountains. It was more likely that they would find lodging in Bâlea, in Muntele Mic, but she didn't know the area and didn't know how long it would take to get there. She could get
down to Braşov in half an hour on her skis, but Paul would need at least a week of training in order to do this kind of trail. One didn't put on skis for the first time to do a six-kilometre downhill race. As for the caterpillar, it would make the return run only in the afternoon and then they risked being caught by nightfall in a train once again.
I don't know if he'll put up with it
, Nora thought, pondering his lack of conviction.
She found him at the Saxons', in the dining hall, facing a poster pinned to the wall.
The Black Church, December 23, 1934. 8 PM. Religious concert. The “Christmas Oratory,” by J.S. Bach.
He turned towards her with a glimmer of curiosity, indicating the poster. “Interesting, no?”
“No. Absolutely not interesting. We didn't come here to listen to oratories. There's only one interesting thing here.”
And she pointed through the window towards the snow, the fir trees, the white-hooded chalets.
“You're harsh.”
“I'm harsh because I've got big responsibilities.”
She should have been able to say the final words in a joking voice, but looking closely at his eyes, those sad eyes, she thought that she really had taken on a big responsibility.
If I leave this man alone, he's going to run away
. She couldn't have said exactly why, but she felt that any flight might be a disaster for him, and that she was indispensable in preventing it. “Are you in good physical condition, Paul?”
“Really good physical condition?”
“No. Middling.”
“We can give it a try ...”
“We have to leave Poiana. There's not a room here anywhere. For a moment I thought we should go farther, towards the Făgăraş, but it seems to me that it's simpler to stay right here. Do you know Postăvar?”
“Where is it?”
“There.”
She pointed with her hand to the curtain of clouds that was streaming downhill along the edge of the woods facing them, blanketing the entire horizon.
“Is it high?”
“About 1800 metres. Here we're at about a thousand. In the summer it's a three-hour hike. Let's say we can do it in four. Anyway, we're not even going all the way to the summit. There are two large chalets on the trail. When there aren't any clouds, you get an amazing view from there.”
“So, Nora, you're the girl who falls off the tram in Bucharest, and here you want to cross the Carpathians? Don't you think that's a little ambitious? Don't you think it's a bit much for those knees of yours, which yesterday you were cleaning with iodine ...?”
He stopped for a moment, thinking.
“Strictly speaking, when was that? Yesterday or the day before?”
Nora took his arm, pulling him towards the trail. “Stop counting! We'll do it another time. It wasn't yesterday or the day before ... It was a month ago, a year ago, many years ago ...”
From the doorway they looked again towards the tissue of clouds that was hiding Postăvarul.
“I haven't seen it for a week,” the porter said. “Since those snows came, I've forgotten what the peak looks like. As though it had disappeared completely.”
The trail was blazed with coloured rectangles – one red stripe and two white ones – like so many small flags daubed on the trees and the rocks. They could see them in the woods, in the ins and outs, like the fluttering of a handkerchief. It was as though a travelling companion had gone ahead of them, stopping sometimes to wait for them to follow and to show them the way: over here ... over here ...
They walked with their skis over their shoulders, crossed behind their backs to maintain their equilibrium. Now and then the point of a ski struck the branch of a fir tree and shook off the snow, with a faint, metallic, rustling spray as if ringing out to all the crystalline snowflakes. There were immense, snow-immured trees, with their branches sagging beneath the burden of the snow, like heavy wings on a spiralling flight. Lonely, one by one, they rose from the rocks, springing up in lines; but their robust trunks, in their white garb, had the unexpected delicacy of the stems of
flowers. Everything appeared grandiose, not at all ornamental, as in an immense, decorated park.
Nora turned back towards Paul, who had stopped at a turning point in the path and was taking a long look around him.
“Is it beautiful?”
“It's too beautiful. A little too beautiful. As if it had been made in advance, prepared beforehand; there are too many trees, there's too much snow ... And the silence, such a colossal silence ...”
They both listened, trying to catch from far away, from very far away, a sound, a crackle, a step ... But nothing penetrated the vast stillness.
“I can't get it into my head that it's real. It's like I'm in a photograph or a poster. It's like I'm in that display window last night, with artificial snow ...”
Nora remembered the well-equipped skier who had smiled at passersby from the display window. With his new ski suit, a blue scarf around his neck and his skis on his shoulders. Paul was starting to look like a poster boy for skiing.
Not even the smile is missing
.
“Do you think we're on the right trail?” Paul asked.
 
The afternoon passed and the chalet didn't appear.
We should have got there a long time ago
, Nora thought. Her boots felt heavy on her feet and she had the impression that their whole weight was pressing down on her ankle. Awaking to a forgotten pain, her left knee began to ache.
“Do you think we're on the right trail?” Paul asked.
“All trails are good around here,” she replied vaguely.
She wasn't worried, but she realized that they had strayed from the trail. She knew well enough that it was impossible to get lost in these mountains with their easy trails, and she told herself that whichever way they went they would end up at the chalet.
As long as we keep climbing, keep moving upward
. They hadn't seen a sign for a while. The little red-and-white flags had become less frequent, and now they had vanished completely.
“Maybe the snow has covered them.”
“Yes, maybe ...”
The light had grown lower. The snow had lost its lustre, and was more ashen than white.
“It's still too early to stop for the night,” Nora said.
It was a gloomy light that spread over things like a metallic film. The trees were extinguished by leaden shadow that fell over them without a glimmer.
“Do you hear that?”
Paul had stopped short, laying his hand on her shoulder. From somewhere above them came a metallic rustling, a murmuring of branches, a hurried fluttering of metallic wings. Heavy unseen strides or woods ripped away from their roots descended, striking against the branches.
“Could it be an avalanche?”
“Impossible,” Nora said.
She was pale and strained to listen. She felt Paul's hand on her right shoulder.
If only he would leave it there.
The light slid lower. It was almost dark, and yet objects remained visible with an absurd precision. Stoney fir trees stood stock-still around them, as though in a grotto. For a moment everything seemed to be frozen in place, detached from time and shifted into another world ...
“We're on another planet,” Paul whispered. He pulled Nora against him. “Are you afraid, Nora?”
“No. I don't think so. I'm cold. I'd like to get there.” She spoke in a low, serious, intense voice. He felt the heat of her face.
“Get there? Don't you want to stay here? Never leave here, never arrive anywhere again ... Just stop ... just stop ...”
Shivering, Nora turned her head towards him. There was something feeble, muted yet warm in his voice. She had just enough time to think,
This man wants to die
, when a sudden sense of peace enveloped her, as though in a single instant she had grasped all of his thoughts down to their roots. She hugged him and closed her eyes with a drowning sensation.
Somewhere in the air above them, huge waves slammed together and the sound radiated downwards, as though reaching the bottom of the sea. Cold, damp, hazy mist streamed between the fir
trees. Unmoving branches resounded with a noise like the clashing of weapons.
“The clouds are coming down from the summit,” Nora whispered.
On her lips, her eyelids, she felt snow sliding over her like smoke.
Paul shook her by the shoulders. She opened her eyes with difficulty. Without a word, he pointed out to her with his hand an object that was only a few steps away, but which she could barely discern, as though in a dream: on the bark of a tree, a white-red-white rectangle.
 
The SKV
14
chalet was still smoking between the fir trees, as though after a recently extinguished fire. Clouds flowed down towards Poiana like buoyant lava. Isolated puffs of mist lingered, hanging from the cliffs and the trees ... Nora and Paul emerged from the clouds, as though from a different winter. From the direction of the chalet they heard voices, a workhorse's bell, the sound of a saw. Someone shouted out the window: “Gertrude! Gertrude!”
Nora thought of the hot tea that awaited her above and looked for her backpack, thinking of the bottle of French rum she had bought before leaving. It was a heavy, intoxicating aroma.
I have to sleep ... I have to sleep ...
“Are guests welcome?”
“Welcome, except there's nowhere to stay.”
Nora gave the man who had spoken to her a long, silent look. He was a red-haired Saxon with a small, pointed, slightly fiendish beard, and a cold stare, devoid of hostility but also of kindness. He seemed rough, perhaps as a result of the accent with which he spoke, in correct Romanian, giving a short stress to the first syllable.
“All the rooms are full. There's not even a free bed. Try up above at the Touring Club. You'll find something there.”
He had small green eyes, like two slivers of a bottle, beneath bushy, pale brows. Nora regarded him with attention, telling her-self:
He has the eyes of a badger!
She thought of the stuffed badger she had once found on the teacher's desk, left behind by the natural science class. She would have liked to say to the man in the doorway, “We know each other, we've seen each other before”; but she felt at once the pressure of her backpack bearing down on her shoulders, like a pain awakened from sleep. Her clothes were heavy, damp. Her hobnailed boots felt as though they were made of iron.
“I'm not going any farther. Let's go in ... Let's rest ...”
There was a large dining room with wooden tables and many windows, an immense wood stove built into the wall around which ageless Saxon women, tall, blonde, possibly young, were crocheting. At one table chess was being played; at the other, cards. From an adjoining room came the sound of a game of Ping-Pong. Upstairs on the next floor someone was shouting at intervals the same name to no response: “Gertrude ... Gertrude ...” Next to the window, a few young boys were waxing their skis, as though polishing weapons. Outside on the deck hobnailed boots could be heard climbing or descending the stairs. Now and then the door opened, and at the appearance of the new arrival guffaws of laughter and shouts of recognition – “Hans!” “Willy!” “Otto!” – rang out.
Nora and Paul's entrance was greeted with a moment of silence, after which the dining room's hubbub continued undisturbed and without taking them into account. Next to the wall, the small wooden grandfather clock showed five o'clock.
Nora thought for a moment, trying to remember which five o'clock. Was it morning? Or evening? She came to believe that she had lost several hours in the woods and the clouds.
Someone brought her a large white cup of tea.
“You know, Paul, we should hurry up. We don't want night to overtake us on the trail.”
She showed him the map pinned to the wall: the trail up from Poiana was drawn with a thick, white line, meandering like a river.
“You see? We're at 1510 metres. The Touring Club chalet is at 1700. The hard part's behind us.”
Paul glanced incuriously at the map, which he didn't understand very well.
“Personally, it's all the same to me. I'll go wherever you want, as far as you want ...”
Nora gave him a stealthy look from over her teacup. There were light lines on his forehead, which the snow had drawn more deeply. His ski mitts, which he had set on the table, looked like two big bear paws. There was something peaceful, conciliatory, in his eyes, as though in a dream. She seemed to hear him whispering once again: “Never leave here, never arrive anywhere again ...”
 
 
It was pitch black when they reached the Touring Club chalet. They had done the final part of the trail with their pocket flashlights, guiding themselves more by the shouts they heard from the summit of the mountain than by the signs on the trees, which they could no longer see in the darkness.

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