Accidental Cowgirl (19 page)

He shook his head to clear the images. Not helping. Not helping at all. Was he just lonely for female company? Would, say, Cheryl have felt just as good last night? She was certainly available and willing, right? No. Cheryl wouldn’t have fit the bill at all.

Was it Kyla’s little giggle that she always tried to stifle? The chocolate chip cookies melting onto her chin the other night at the campfire? The fact that she abhorred coffee but couldn’t start her day without hot cocoa? Her obvious fear of the horses that made this ranch a business? The physical pain he could see her trying to cover up every time she mounted one?

Or was it the simple fact that for the first time in ten years, someone had leaned on
him
? Had trusted
him
?

“You’re not looking for a fling, are you?” Cole’s voice jolted him, making his pencil
break. “Cuz I gotta tell you, Deck, Kyla does
not
look like a fling sort of a gal. Cheryl, maybe.”

“You’re out of line, Cole.”

“I know. Sorry. Just trying to figure you out.”

“I’m not looking for a fling, Cole.”

“Then what
are
you looking for?”

“I have no idea. Not this.”

* * *

Kyla sat on the glider swing on her cabin porch, resisting the pull of the warm barn lights. She looked at her watch and sighed. Midnight again, and here she was wide awake and exhausted at the same time. No way could she head for the stables, though, not when it was entirely possible she’d meet Decker in there.

She shivered and pulled her sweatshirt closer as she closed her eyes and relived the kiss-that-almost-was. And the dance that had preceded it. She thought back to how his eyes had looked as he’d edged closer to her lips, and then how they’d blazed after Marcy had come on the scene.

Hayley and Jess had been appropriately sympathetic on the way home last night, which had only helped a little. Jess had offered to find an herb that would induce severe abdominal pain, while Hayley had put up her fists and said
I don’t need any damn herb to give him abdominal pain!

Kyla couldn’t believe she’d almost let Decker kiss her. For God’s sake, she was only here for another week. What had she been thinking? She was supposed to be focused on getting better, not getting involved in yet another sordid love triangle. What
was
it about this man that had her abandoning all logic and self-preservation?

“You okay up there?”

Kyla’s eyes snapped open as she heard Decker’s deep voice. What was he
doing
here? Was she summoning him with her thoughts now? She pulled her sweatshirt even closer, realizing the defensive move for what it was. No way was she going to engage in midnight small talk with him, especially not when there was another woman in the picture. She’d keep it short and sweet.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Can’t sleep again?”

“Nope.”

Decker put one foot up on the bottom stair, leaning on the railing. “I, uh, I don’t even know how to begin to apologize for what happened last night.”

“No apology necessary.” That’s it. She’d play this cool and unaffected, like she couldn’t care less that they’d been about to burn a hole in the dance floor twenty-four hours ago.

“I disagree. I think an apology is definitely necessary. I should have seen it coming, and I didn’t.” He looked at her quizzically. “I don’t blame you for being upset.”

This time Kyla couldn’t escape the quick chortle of disbelief that erupted from her lips. “I’m not upset, Decker. Amused, maybe. Catfights really aren’t my thing. But no, not upset.”
Right. A tiny bit devastated, maybe, but really? After only a few days of knowing you? Devastated seems like a pretty strong emotion
.

“I really am sorry.” He paused, looking at her intently. “Y’know, Cole was under the impression that I was about to kiss you when Marcy showed up.”

She coolly raised her eyebrows.

“I denied it, of course.” He smiled gently, just enough for her to see his dimple.

Kyla’s chest constricted. “Naturally.” Damn, damn, double damn. It would be a lot easier to stay cool and collected if he weren’t so insanely gorgeous.

Decker shifted his weight, looking uncomfortable. Good. The louse
should
be. “I
was
going to kiss you, you know.” He scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Listen, Kyla. I’m sorry. I’m doing this really badly. I’m not sure what else to say. I know you have no way of knowing whether I’m telling the truth, but I’m not the kind of guy who runs around kissing women I’ve barely met. I’m just not. I didn’t mean for this to happen, and I most certainly didn’t mean for Marcy to get in the middle of it.”

“Well, it did, and she did.” Kyla fought the urge to go to him, to smooth the worry lines on his forehead. To kiss him, for God’s sake, and try to ease this burning in her gut. But she couldn’t. She’d been here, done this, and it hadn’t ended well. She had to protect herself.

She blew out a breath, working for courage against her own heart. “But it doesn’t matter, Decker. I’m only here for another week, and then we’ll never see each other again. All we did was dance. And that’s all we’re ever going to do.”

Kyla stood up. “I need to get some sleep.” She couldn’t keep listening to him spin this
bullshit story knowing he was probably a serial cheater. He had the sincere thing down to such a science that if she wasn’t careful, she’d be drawn in again.

In one move, he traveled the five steps it took to get to her. “Kyla, stop. Please.” He put both of his hands gently on her upper arms, stilling her progress toward the door. “Please. I know you barely know me, and have no reason to believe me, but really, I’m not a casual hook-up kind of guy. Seriously. I know you’re only here for a week. And I know it makes no sense. But I promise you, I wasn’t playing you last night.”

Kyla shivered involuntarily, then sighed as she backed away from his hands. “You’re right, Decker. I don’t know you at all. For all I know, you pick a guest off the list every week and make her feel extra-special. But you know what? I’m not interested. I don’t want to play your games.”

“It’s not a game.” He stepped closer to her again, and the backs of her knees bumped into the glider. “There’s something here, and you know it, too.” He stroked her hair away from her face as he looked into her eyes. He put his right hand up to stroke her cheek gently, and as hard as she wanted to try to resist him, she wanted more to feel his touch. “I’m going to kiss you, Kyla, and this time, no one’s going to get in the way.”

“Don’t—” she started, but her words were silenced by his lips on hers. They were warm and sure, but questioning at the same time. This was what Marcy had robbed her of last night, and oh, Lord, the woman should be jailed for that. As he deepened the kiss, Kyla’s knees threatened to unglue from her shins, sending her to the porch floor, but just as she was sure that was going to happen, she felt his left arm slide around her waist, pulling her gently into him.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds before Kyla forced herself to pull back, her heart pounding like she’d just run up eight flights of stairs. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t let herself fall for this man. She wasn’t ready, wasn’t healthy, wasn’t … wasn’t
what
? She couldn’t even think straight with her legs turning to pudding, with the feel of his hands on her back, the warmth of his body radiating through her sweatshirt.

She had to stop this before it went any further. Otherwise, she’d be in deep, and they’d both regret it. Her, because she’d be another notch on his already-full belt, and him, because eventually he’d realize she was a messed-up basket case who couldn’t even sleep through the night.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him gently away, feeling almost physical pain
doing so. She turned toward the screen door and opened it, shaking. As she stepped through, she looked back over her shoulder, inhaling sharply when she caught his expression, but forcing the words out of her mouth. “Decker, don’t ever do that again.”

“He
what
?” Jess exclaimed.

“You heard me.”

Jess threw her arm around Kyla’s shoulder. “He kissed you? Right on the porch? While we were sleeping? How do we miss all the good stuff?” She leaned close. “Tell me the details.”

“First we need water. And we should check the map. I don’t want to meet Momma Bear again.” Kyla pulled her water bottle and the map from her backpack, but wasn’t necessarily feeling lost
or
thirsty. She just didn’t know if she was ready to have this conversation yet.

It was Sunday morning and the two of them had decided to take a hike, since there was nothing on the official agenda.
If the Bible says it’s a day of rest, then I say it’s a day of rest
, Ma had said at breakfast. Hayley had agreed with her and was busy with a mystery novel in the hammock.

Jess looked over Kyla’s shoulder at the map. “Are we getting close to the lake yet?”

“Looks like it’s about half a mile that way.” Kyla pointed up the hill in front of them. “I guess if we’d had the right map
last
time we were out here, we would’ve seen it.”

Jess capped her water bottle. “To the lake, then. And while we walk, details, please.” She pointed her index finger playfully at Kyla. “You were ready to castrate the boy when we went to bed, and now you’re telling me you ended up smooching on the porch?”

“Exactly. You do remember I was never going down that path again, right?”

“Yup. Sworn to the nunnery, et cetera.”

“Right. Well, dammit. If I’d seen him coming, I would have gone inside before he got to the porch. But don’t worry. It’ll never happen again.”

“Oh?”

“Nope. You would have been proud of me. I pushed him away, told him to never try it again, and went inside.” Kyla’s voice caught on the words, but she hoped Jess hadn’t noticed. Unfortunately, Jess was oddly silent. Kyla looked over at her. “Well? This is progress, right? Me resisting an obvious player, right? Aren’t you happy?”

“Are
you
, sweetie?”

Was she? She’d collapsed against the door after she’d closed it, yearning to fling it open and invite him in. She’d relived the kiss all night, lying awake in bed. As proud as she was that she’d stopped Decker in his tracks before he could play more head games with her, she practically ached for him to touch her again.

Finally she answered. “I don’t know, Jess. It doesn’t really matter either way. Point is, I’m not letting him into my head. I’ve got enough going on in there already. We’re only here ’til next Sunday. It’d be completely stupid to start something, even if there
wasn’t
another woman in the mix. But there is. And I’m not going down that road again. Ever.”

“I know. But—”

“Look, I know I learned a lot during the trial that made me question every living thing
about
my relationship with Wes, but while I was
in
it, I didn’t question anything.
Working late again, sweetheart? You poor thing. Need a little loan to get through to payday? Sure, sweetie. Can’t take me to the hospital with my hundred-and-five fever because you don’t want to expose me to more germs? I understand
. I was a complete idiot, Jess. I have
no
radar. None. He had me completely and utterly snowed.”

Jess looked off into the woods, then leaned down to scoop up a stick that curved like a cane. “Kyla, you weren’t all that snowed near the end. You knew the getaways and North Shore dinners were suspicious. Even the ring turned out to be a fake.”

“I know. But look how long it took me to figure it out.”

“He was a master of the game, sweetie. For every question you had, he gave the perfect answer.”

“And usually managed to make me sound like the woman jealous of her fiancé’s important career.”

“Exactly.” Jess put her arm around Kyla’s shoulders. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m not sure I’m ready to write Decker off just yet.”

“One word—Marcy.”

“I know. I do. I really do. But honestly, Kyla, I’m not sure I believe Decker could fake it this well. I really think this Marcy woman is part of the past, not the present. Wes was a good enough actor to own Broadway. Decker? I just don’t know. He doesn’t seem like the type who’d play two women at the same time. I’d hate to see you close the door for good before you give it a chance.”

“I hate to point out the obvious here, Jessie, but Wes didn’t seem like the type, either.”

* * *

“I don’t have the money yet. You said we had thirty days.” Kyla heard Decker’s tense voice as she approached the south side of the barn, where the stable door stood ajar. It was nine o’clock and the lights were just buzzing on in the late twilight. She’d left her backpack in the tack room earlier after their hike, and she needed to get it before Decker found it and looked inside. Just what she needed was for him to discover the little therapy journal she’d been writing in since the accident. However, now wasn’t looking like a very good time. She stopped short of the door, pressing her body against the wooden building.

“You’re down to twenty-three.” Another man’s voice, smooth as silk, countered Decker’s. “My … supervisor … would like to know whether you’re making progress toward meeting your obligations.”

“We will meet our obligations.”

“It’s a lot of money.”

“I’m aware of that. And you know that we had absolutely nothing to do with incurring this debt.”

“It is a fine legacy your father left you, yes. I wish there was something I could do to change it, but as you must know, my hands are tied. I am only a representative of the company.”

“Of course,” Decker answered tightly.

Kyla heard feet shuffling slowly, like the stranger was strolling through the barn. Then he spoke again, but his voice gave her chills. “It’s a really nice place you have here, Mr. Driscoll. Sure would be a shame to see it broken up and sold off.”

“I’m not concerned that that will happen.” Decker’s voice was controlled, but Kyla could hear an angry undertone.