Accidentally Catty (29 page)

“Sixty years,” he offered in a matter-of-fact tone, so calm, so together.

“Argh! Can you just please be serious for one minute, Shaw? This isn’t something you can humor your way out of. I’m. Pregnant. Got that? With child. A. Baby.”

His jaw tightened. “I heard you, Katie.”

“Then could you do an old lady a favor and at least share in even half of my hysteria?”

“I’m neither hysterical nor upset.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because a child is a natural extension of my love for you. Be it a kitten or a squalling infant, I’m in.”

Katie cocked her ear, tilting her head. Her surprise rang in her words, crystal clear. “What did you just say?”

His eyebrow rose in that arrogant way he had when he was making a point. “You heard me. I love you. Now, while you adjust to that statement and your newly out-of-control hormonal state, I’m going to go have some mush with the others. If you don’t want to arouse suspicion, I’d beat feet to the kitchen. We have pumpkins to pick and carve. Teeny said she’d make pie with our booty. I don’t want to miss pie if it’s anything like her mush.” With that, Shaw rose, pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and left the bathroom.

Well, then.

Everything was better now that Shaw had told her he loved her, wasn’t it?

It was like the icing on her baby-daddy cake.

Shaw stopped just short of the kitchen to catch his breath before facing the crowd that had gathered at the table for breakfast.

He grinned again. A warmth of emotions rushed to settle in his chest, leaving it tight with unexpected pleasure.

He was going to be a father.

And Katie was going to be a mother.

The mother of
his
child.

He hoped their baby would have her platinum blond hair. Hair he loved to watch her brush before she left his room. Hair he loved to see fall to the middle of her back when she’d taken it down from her braid before they made love.

Even though the circumstances were far less than equitable, he was simply gobsmacked. Period.

Yes, there were a million concerns. He had no idea who he was. He had no idea if he had a full life somewhere else. Though again, like the names Spanky and Beck, an involvement with another woman didn’t feel comfortable. He had no clue how old he was or anything other than he was full of cartoon quotes.

He just knew he loved Katie. Much the way he knew he hated Teeny’s chicken-fried chicken and gravy, and in the same way he knew he’d rather be outdoors doing something DIY than stuffed away in some office. Not to be forgotten, he knew he wasn’t a twentysomething.

He just knew. Why or how was still left to be explored, but he knew.

Just like he knew he loved Katie. It had happened quickly, without warning, and while she was giving him hell last week for making so much noise during their boisterous round three of lovemaking.

He. Knew.

And Miss Had Her Panties Bunched Up Her Cute Ass Cheeks was just going to have to adjust.

And if she didn’t already, learn to love him right back.

So sayeth Shaw.

He smiled again, whistling as he greeted the women he was now coming to enjoy as a group and in single doses. If he had a family somewhere—he hoped they were even half as interesting, loyal, and ballsy as these women and Kaih were.

 

 

‟EVERYONE’S
staring,” Ingrid commented, on edge and shiftyeyed when they passed a group of Piney Creek’s biggest gossips at Guthrie’s Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch.

“Yeah,” Nina grunted, stomping over the mucked earth. “And if they don’t knock that shit off, I’m going to pop their eyeballs out and eat ’em like fucking malted milk balls.”

Wanda was right behind her, tucking her chin into her tailored gray overcoat and looping her arm through Nina’s. “Shut up, Nina,” she said on a wide smile she shared with anyone who was huddled in a corner, gawking and talking about them. “We are going to do as we all agreed. Kill them with kindness. Not kill them, period. Walk. Walk swiftly, my friend. Smile. Smile a lot at the bigoted pigs, or I’ll knock you into Tuesday. Today being Thursday. Now, no way are we letting these small-minded, arrogant know-it-alls get the best of us. Put on your happy face, sunshine. We’re goin’ in. I have a pumpkin to pick.”

“Pumpkins are goddamned stupid, Wanda. Just like these people.”

Wanda rolled her tongue over her teeth. “You care to share that with Aunt Teeny? I’ll wait until she’s done beating you with the shovel.”

Nina’s face instantly brightened, her fondness for Teeny trumping her agitation. “Fine. For her I’ll shut up, but one wrong flippin’ comment, and I’m kickin’ some farm-boy ass. The hell I’ll let some vagina in a pair of overalls insult Teeny.”

Wanda pointed in the direction of the rickety stand that had been around since Katie was a child where you paid to pick pumpkins. “March,” she ordered.

As Wanda navigated her way through the mud and small mounds of strewn hay, Katie hung back. There’d once been a time when she might have confronted these people who so hated her. Nowadays, she just wanted to crawl back to her cave and stay hidden while she made fires from the sparks of two rocks rubbed vigorously together, and drew pretty stick pictures on the wall of her cave.

Shaw caught up with her, grabbing her hand as they walked toward Magda and crew. He sucked in a deep breath. “It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The leaves are turning. Definitely crisp, clean, and—”

“Pregnant,” Katie finished for him darkly, still reeling.

“I’ll sing the song, if you don’t stop being such a Krabby Patty,” he teased, referencing
SpongeBob
.

Rather than fight his reach for her hand, she let hers slide into his like it had always belonged there. “If you sing ‘Havin’ My Baby,’ I’ll cut your tongue out and fry it for dinner.”

“Which would probably be, in comparison to Teeny’s fish sticks, a delicacy.” He paused as they came within two feet of Magda and her cronies. “Afternoon, ladies. Brilliant day for pumpkin picking, yes?” He dared them with his eyes and British charm to say otherwise.

Magda blustered, her narrow face flushing, the tip of her nose red. “Indeed.”

He tore his hand from a clinging Katie’s. “Shaw,” he said, giving them a wide smile and holding it in a surprised Magda’s direction. “And you are?”

Magda’s nose instantly tilted upward while the rest of the quilting circle twittered with sputters. “Magda. Magda-May Jules. What brings you to Piney Creek, son?” She sneered the implication that Shaw was young.

His grin grew secretive and more charming beneath the midday sun. “Money. As Dr. Woods’s boy toy, I’m well paid. Brilliant to have met you all. Cheers, ladies.” He winked before latching back onto her hand and pulling her in the direction of Teeny and the others.

“You do know you just made everything a million times worse, don’t you?” Katie whispered as the women gasped.

“You do know I don’t care, don’t you?”

Suddenly, neither did she. The look lingering on those women’s faces had been worth his boy-toy comment. Letting her head fall back on her shoulders, she laughed. Out loud. Hoping the gaggle of women would hear her. “Me, neither.”

“Then shall we pumpkin pick before Teeny eats Mr. Guthrie alive?”

Teeny was in full Teeny mode, preparing to give Angus Guthrie lip if he even hinted at discord. Her gloved fists were clenched at her sides, and her mouth was pursed.

Shaw sidled up to her, capturing her elbow. “Problem, Teeny?”

Teeny tightened her rose-colored down jacket around her neck and spat, “Damn right, there’s a problem. Old Angus says he don’t do business with felons.”

Angus Guthrie, so thin his Adam’s apple bobbed when he simply stood still, narrowed his eyes from beneath the wide brim of his straw hat. He shot a knobby finger in Katie’s face. “You heard right. ’Cuz a you and your fancy thug friends, I cain’t take my grandkids to the animal park no more. Your friends here beat an old man till he was talkin’ sideways. You ain’t nuthin’ but trouble, Dr. Woods, and I ain’t havin’ it in my pumpkin patch!”

Nina leaned around a cowed Ingrid. “You wanna be the next in line for a senior smackdown? I could always use another body to add to my growing pile of old people.”

Wanda’s leather-gloved hand snaked out, wrapping around Nina’s neck and clamping over her mouth. She shot Angus a smile like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. “She’s joking, of course. We don’t beat old men. That’s work. We simply gut them like deer and eat them for dinner. That’s just how us fancy people from the city roll.”

Katie bit her lip to hide her laughter and at the way Angus took two leery steps backward from them, as though the lot of them would take him out in broad daylight.

Shaw placed an arm around Teeny. “You know what, Aunt Teeny? Angus’s pumpkins look a little bleak, don’t you agree? Sort of deflated and sad. I know of the perfect place just a few miles out of Piney Creek. Now those pumpkins? Big, round, plump, and they have apple picking, too. Oh, and doughnuts. Cider doughnuts. I say we leave Angus to his scrawny pumpkins, and we take our business elsewhere.”

Teeny nodded but didn’t move before she had her say. Aunt Teeny always had the last word. “You’re an old fool, Angus Guthrie. I can’t believe I ever let you talk me into bumping uglies with you. I was just curious to see if that enlarge-your-penis patch you say you been wearin’ really works. But I got some news for ya, Angus, wasn’t no bigger than my thumb any old ways. Better get a bigger patch. And while you’re at it, you just remember who you treated like the crack of your wrinkly, old keister. I won’t let you forget this, Angus. Mark my words.” Teeny stomped off toward her old truck while everyone followed in stunned silence.

Well, almost everyone.

Nina was engaged in a full-on cackle, bent at the waist and squealing like a pig.

Wanda turned around and headed straight for her, taking her by the arm. “Let’s go, Nina. Clearly, our fancy city money isn’t good enough for the likes of these narrow-minded, cave-dwelling
dicks
!” she shouted, then cast a guilty glance at Katie, her face pinched and red with anger. “Oh, Katie,” she muttered. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand it!”

“Penis patch! Ohhhh, Jesus, I love that woman!” Nina squealed her delight, aiming her mockery right at Angus Guthrie before strutting off with Wanda.

At the truck, Shaw held the door for her. “I had no idea, Katie.”

“That Angus Guthrie bought the penis patch and slept with Teeny?” To tell the truth, neither had she. Teeny was all “I am woman, hear me roar.” She’d always been as free with her opinions as she was her sexuality. Maybe that was why her declaration, in front of everyone, hadn’t come as a huge surprise to Katie.

He brushed her windblown hair from her face with eyes that held sympathy. This time his words were neither teasing nor light. “No. How cruel they are to you and Teeny. I’m sorry I’ve only made things worse.”

And he was sorry. She could sense it in him because of this ironic twist of fate. Emotions, especially those of weakness and fear, were easily smelled on another, heightened by her cougarness. She sensed his sympathy, his regret. As she climbed in the truck, she put a hand on his arm and said, “I’m not sorry, Shaw. Not even a little.”

Once her tantrum had passed, and the pregnancy thing had sunk in, something else had, too. Shaw offered more than she’d given him credit for. He’d brought with his arrival respite from days that had begun to bleed into one another. He’d brought a reason to get up each day. A reason to smile again. A reason to want more than just a cave to hide in. And he’d punctuated that in this very moment.

“So you ready to pick those pumpkins?”

“Is there really another patch?”

“Strangest thing. As I was listening to Angus tell us we were unwanted, I remembered the road that led me here to Piney Creek. I have no recollection of how I got here, but I do know I passed a place on the way in here. They had a big sign advertising pumpkin picking and cider doughnuts. Which means I couldn’t have arrived that long ago. I think I remember how to get there. If you left the house more often than to just pick up supplies, you’d know that.” His reprimand was gentle but observant.

More memories. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be long before he had a fuller picture.

Or not so hopefully.

Katie’s smile was a wistful one. “Then let’s do it.”

Shaw climbed in behind her as Teeny took the wheel, covering her hand in his. Slapping the back of the driver’s seat, he said, “Let’s roll, Teeny.”

 

 

INDEED,
there was another pumpkin patch five miles down the road, and to Teeny’s delight, they’d found plenty of pumpkins.

Shaw was loading them into the truck while Katie sipped mulled cider and watched him, in a deep state of lust from over the rim of her cup. Shaw was all the things little girls dreamed of when they giggled about their princes at slumber parties: considerate, sharp, kind, gentle. Sigh-worthy.

And he claimed he loved her.

Which was ridiculous, but so tempting to reach out and cling to. How could he possibly make a declaration like that when his life was in such turmoil? It was one of those disaster-time statements—like telling someone you owed them your life and never expecting them to come asking for payment. Their situation was shrouded in too much mystery to make such a life-altering statement. Maybe he was excited about the baby and his mouth had moved before his brain had fully caught up.

But oh, those words from his lips still made her tingle and smile.

“You like him.”

Her focus left Shaw and the delicious way he moved in his jeans to settle on Ingrid. “He’s likeable.” And lickable, too.

“He’s been good for you, Dr. Woods.”

He’d undoubtedly been good to her lady parts. “How so?”