Across the Mersey (20 page)

This bitterness with Sam had put a barrier between them that separated them, now making it impossible for her to reach out to him for comfort as she so longed to be able to do, and to offer him comfort in return.

The kitchen welcomed them with the smell of cooking and warmth, and before Jean could stop the twins were reaching for the mince pies.

‘It’s too late to go eating pastry now,’ Jean warned them, pushing the tray out of the way. ‘You’ll end up with indigestion. Besides, if you eat them now we won’t have enough for tomorrow.’

‘Aww, Mum, we’re hungry,’ Lou protested.

Jean sighed. ‘Very well then, you can have those we put out for Father Christmas, but don’t blame me if you do get indigestion.’

As the twins hurried into the parlour she said to Grace, ‘I just hope this goose is going to cook properly. It only just fits in the oven. Now what is it?’ she demanded when the twins came rushing back into the kitchen.

‘The mince pies have gone,’ said Lou.

‘And the milk,’ said Sasha.

Grace looked at her sisters, knowing how much they enjoyed playing tricks. ‘You mean they have now that you two have had them,’ she suggested wryly.

‘No, Grace, they’ve really gone, honestly. Come and look.’

They all trooped into the front room where all that remained of the mince pies was a few crumbs.

Sasha and Lou had crept close to one another, their arms linked.

‘Sam, do you think someone could have got in?’ Jean asked uneasily, and then broke off as they all heard someone coming down the stairs.

For a moment no one moved, and then Sam strode to the door and wrenched it open, Jean and the girls clustering nervously behind him.

Looking back at them from the stairs was Luke, his hair tousled and his eyes blurred with sleep.

‘Luke!’

It was Jean who spoke, hurrying into the hall to her son.

‘Sorry I missed church, Mum,’ he apologised
wearily. ‘They didn’t tell us we were getting leave until the last minute and then the ruddy train crawled all the way from Euston. I couldn’t let you know I was on my way.’

‘I’m sorry, Luke love, but your Christmas presents are on their way to France,’ Jean apologised ruefully as they all trooped into the front parlour in their dressing gowns, following the family tradition of opening their presents around the tree, which she and Sam had begun when they were first married.

Sam had put a match to the fire he had laid for her yesterday and Grace, bless her, had been up before all of them, bringing her and Sam tea in bed.

‘Well, nursing’s certainly changed you,’ Sam had teased Grace. ‘Getting up before anyone else.’

Now they were all gathered in the front room, the sound of Christmas carols from the wireless adding to the festive morning atmosphere. Frost had iced patterns on the windows and Jean was glad of the warmth of her dressing gown as they all started to hand out presents to one another, Grace hiding her smile at the disappointment on Lou’s face as she handed her her gramophone record disguised as a large box.

Luke’s gifts stood out from everyone else’s. They were all wrapped in fancy paper and tied with pretty ribbons. They also had gift tags on them saying ‘A present from Paris’.

‘We had to come back through Paris so one of
the lads suggested we did our Christmas shopping there,’ he explained cheerfully.

‘Paris?’ Jean exclaimed with maternal anxiety. ‘You mean that Paris, where all them French mademoiselles are?’

Over Jean’s head, Luke and Sam exchanged exclusively male looks.

When Luke nodded his head, Jean protested, ‘But how could you go shopping there? You can’t speak French.’

‘They have signs outside some of the shops saying “English spoken”,’ Luke soothed her, adding with a grin, ‘Mind you, it weren’t exactly “English” as we speak it here in Liverpool.’

‘Come on, Mum, take a look. It isn’t going to bite you,’ Luke teased Jean as she looked at her own present, unwilling to open it because it was so prettily wrapped. For all his grown-up manner, Jean could still see in his eyes the eager anxiousness of the little boy who had carefully made her past Christmas presents at school.

Quickly she unwrapped her gift, her eyes widening when she saw the glass bottle of scent inside the elegant box.

‘It’s some of that Chanel No. 5,’ Luke told her. ‘I got some for Grace, an’ all. Only a small bottle mind,’ cos it’s pricey, but our sergeant was with us and it was him that told us to buy it.’

Chanel No. 5. Now Jean and Grace exchanged exclusively female looks, their eyes shining with thrilled awe.

‘Luke, you shouldn’t have gone spending your
money on summat so expensive,’ Jean’s voice trembled. Normally if she wore scent it was something like Yardley’s – a bit of Lavender or White Violets, and she bought it herself, Sam not being the type to go buying things like scent. In fact, Sam preferred to give her the money to go out and buy her own present, which meant she normally ended up spending the money on everyone else, as mothers do.

‘Look, Sam.’ Her hand trembled slightly as she held out the bottle so that he could see it, whilst Grace flung her arms around Luke’s neck and hugged him tightly.

‘I’ll wear it on New Year’s Eve. It’s ever such a lovely present, Luke.’

‘What have you brought us?’ Lou demanded eagerly.

‘Open your presents and see,’ Luke told her, then turned to Sam. ‘This is for you, Dad.’

Jean held her breath as Sam unwrapped his gift. No mention had been made of the manner in which they had parted, and Luke was obviously doing everything he could to mend things between them, to Jean’s relief.

The twins were unwrapping their presents, so Jean pretended to be watching them, although in reality her attention was on Sam, who was being maddeningly slow as he unwrapped his. Finally the paper fell away to reveal a leather wallet.

Sam had been using the same wallet for as long as Jean could remember. He had had it before they were married and over the years the stitching had had to be repaired many times.

‘Have a look inside, Dad,’ Luke was urging.

Sam opened the wallet. Inside it, in gold lettering were printed the words ‘From your loving son, December 1939’.

Tears blurred Jean’s eyes. Luke was trying to tell his dad how much he regretted their falling-out, she knew. She could see that he was waiting for Sam to say something to show that he knew it too, and she could see too the hurt in his eyes when, instead, Sam merely said curtly, ‘You shouldn’t have gone wasting your money. I’ve already got a wallet.’

Then he got up and walked out of the room and up the stairs. Torn between wanting to comfort Luke and go after Sam, Jean was obliged instead to admire the pretty silk scarf Sasha was holding up.

‘Mum, look,’ she demanded happily, and then flung her arms around Luke’s neck to thank him.

Upstairs the bathroom door closed and Jean sighed. Sam would no doubt closet himself in there for hours.

Grace reached for her last present. She had been saving it for last deliberately since she had seen already that it had a card on it from her parents, and it looked tantalisingly different from anything she had been expecting, even if it was wrapped in paper she recognised her mother must have saved from last Christmas. They would be doing a lot more making do and mending from now on.

The twins were squabbling amicably over which of their records they wanted to play first, and her mother was saying something about needing to go and check on the goose, but Grace was oblivious
to both conversations, her eyes widening and her hands trembling slightly as she smoothed the familiar silk of the green dress. Her mother had folded it in such way that Grace saw the insert of pretty cream lace immediately, and knew what it must mean even before she had shaken out the frock and held it up in front of herself.

‘Oh, Mum!’ she exclaimed emotionally.

‘I took it to Mrs Noakes, who used to work for that posh dress shop on Bold Street before she retired, and it was her that suggested putting a piece in it. She said it’s as good as new now.’

Grace hugged her fiercely, and was just folding the dress up again when Sam came back in.

Jean knew that what Grace had done was wrong, and that Sam would probably have disapproved of what she, Jean, had done to make the best of it, saying that Grace shouldn’t be rewarded for her crime, but Jean was a loving mother and very practically natured. She just could not stand by and see such a lovely dress go to waste. Besides, Grace had learned her lesson, there was no doubt about that.

‘I’ve brought some French stamps back with me for Jack,’ said Luke as he helped Jean to clear up the wrapping paper. ‘I know he likes collecting them. He’ll be back home for Christmas, I expect?’

‘No. He’s staying with the family he was evacuated to. I wrote to Vi asking her where I should send the little bit of summat I’d got for Jack and she wrote back saying to send it to her and she’d put it in with what she was sending to him. She
said there was no point in unsettling him by bringing him home just for a few days. Poor little lad, I feel so sorry for him.’

‘He might be happier with his evacuation family,’ said Sasha, pulling a face. ‘Imagine having to live with Auntie Vi and Uncle Edwin and stupid Bella …’

‘Sasha!’ Jean rebuked her.

‘Bella isn’t living with them now. She’s married, remember,’ Lou corrected her twin.

‘I’m never going to get married,’ said Sasha.

‘Yes you will,’ Lou insisted. ‘Everyone gets married. I bet Grace will be next.’

‘No I won’t,’ Grace assured them. ‘I’d have to give up nursing if I did, and I don’t want to do that.’

‘What about that Teddy you went to the pictures with, then?’ Lou demanded.

‘Teddy is just a friend,’ Grace told her firmly, and to her own delight she didn’t even blush.

Christmas dinner had been eaten, the table had been cleared and the washing up done, and thankfully the twins were for once not playing their gramophone records too loudly.

In the front room a small group of men – neighbours and friends who had somehow or other got to hear that Luke was home – were discussing the war and what was likely to happen next, and treating Luke with a new deference and respect now that he was a serving soldier just back from France. But it hurt Jean to see the way
that Sam was holding back from the conversation, determined not to give an inch nor to show any pride in Luke’s bravery in volunteering.

This wasn’t Christmas as she would have wanted it to be, Jean thought sadly. She would have given anything this morning to see Sam giving Luke one of his old fierce fatherly hugs. Poor Luke, he had tried so hard, and he wasn’t to know that just the sight of him now, surrounded by men who were praising him and showing their admiration for what he had done, could only drive even deeper Sam’s bitterness over his memories of the Great War.

Despite the warmth of her kitchen Jean felt chilled by her fear of what the future could bring, and how it might affect the lives of those she loved.

‘I’ll tell you what, that brother of yours is a good-looking chap, Grace,’ said Hannah.

Grace laughed. ‘Our Luke good-looking? Give over.’ But sisterly pride shone in her eyes as she watched Luke coming back from the bar.

He had been a bit dubious at first when she had suggested that since he hadn’t made any arrangements for New Year’s Eve he came to the Grafton with her, but he was certainly enjoying himself now, and no wonder, with all her friends making such a fuss of him. Even Lillian, who had said that she didn’t think she’d be able to join them after all, but who had turned up at the last minute, just as they were queuing to get in, had demanded an introduction to him.

Grace had been a bit uncertain about wearing her green dress, partly because of her guilt about it and partly because she had thought it might be too dressy for the Grafton, but perhaps because it was New Year’s Eve, or maybe because of the war, or perhaps a combination of both, all the women
had really gone to town and were looking very elegant and glamorous indeed.

The Grafton was Liverpool’s most famous ballroom. It had a properly sprung floor and special function rooms on the top floor that could be hired for private parties. The walls were painted a soft red, and the booths surrounding the dance floor were upholstered in matching red velvet.

The band had their own special alcove, and all the top bands played at the Grafton.

The booths round the dance floor were the province of courting couples, who liked the dimly lit privacy they afforded, whilst larger groups of young people opted for the tables and chairs so that they could see and be seen.

The girls had been lucky enough to bag a table right on the edge of the dance floor and within view of the band.

For the student nurses the expense of their tickets had not left any of them much money to spare for drinks and so they were making do with lemonade livened up to make very weak shandy.

Luke had offered to buy them each a drink but everyone apart from Lillian, who had immediately asked for a port and lemon, had shaken her head, out of what Grace guessed was a reluctance to put him to so much expense.

They were a nice crowd, and Grace was as proud of her friends as she was of her brother.

Grace tapped her foot in time to the music. Her mother claimed that her children’s musical ear came from her side of the family, citing her younger sister
as proof of this legacy. Grace had no idea if that was true, but they could all sing and dance and had a good ear for music.

Once they had learned that their elder siblings were going dancing on New Year’s Eve the twins had insisted on putting them through their paces and teaching them the steps of the new dances from America; wild crazy jitterbug movements that had had Grace laughing and gasping for breath, and Luke complaining that he’d break something.

‘I reckon that Grace has got a hot date as she keeps on looking at the door. Bet it’s that ambulance driver that’s so keen on you, Grace,’ Iris teased, making everyone laugh, although Grace could see that Luke was wearing a questioning older-brother look.

‘Teddy did say he might be here, and I’ve promised him the last dance,’ she revealed.

‘Ooohh, I told you he was sweet on you,’ said Jennifer.

‘We’re just friends, that’s all,’ Grace insisted truthfully.

‘Well,’ said Hannah, ‘perhaps you’d better tell him that because he’s coming this way now.’

Grace turned round to see Teddy coming towards her, smiling. She smiled back happily, and then saw him check as he realised that another man was seated next to her.

‘Move up, Luke,’ Grace urged her brother.

The two men eyed one another appraisingly.

‘Grace has brought her brother along with her,
seeing as he’s on leave,’ said Hannah, breaking the male deadlock and taking pity on Teddy.

Immediately Teddy was all smiles, extending his hand to shake Luke’s, and sitting down next to him. Within seconds the two men were engrossed in a discussion about the war.

‘It’s New Year’s Eve and I want to dance and forget about the war,’ Lillian pouted.

Taking the hint, Luke excused himself to Teddy to get up and go over to her. Within seconds of Luke and Lillian taking to the floor, or so it seemed to Grace, the other girls had all been asked to dance, leaving her and Teddy on their own.

‘The floor looks a bit crowded now – do you mind if we sit this one out?’ he asked her.

Good-naturedly Grace assured him that she didn’t, even though in reality she was a bit disappointed. He offered her a cigarette and took one for himself, lighting them both.

‘You’re a smashing girl, Grace, one of the best. The kind of girl any chap would be proud to call his own.’

Grace shook her head at him, still trying to pretend she didn’t mind about not dancing, but as though he had guessed what she was feeling, Teddy put out his cigarette, reached for hers and put it out as well.

‘Come on, let’s dance,’ he told her gruffly.

‘I thought you didn’t want to dance,’ Grace protested.

‘You want to dance, don’t you?’ he told her, smiling. ‘And that’s good enough for me.’

Grace was touched that he had changed his mind on her account. He was a good dancer, holding her firmly but not too close, nicely light on his feet and with a sense of rhythm.

The band played on without stopping; none of the dancers left the floor, as though everyone was determined to take what pleasure they could from the evening to store up against the bleakness of what might lie ahead.

Whilst they danced Teddy talked, asking Grace about her Christmas and she asked him in turn about his. She knew that he lived with his parents, and from what he had told her about them Grace sensed that they were a family very similarly circumstanced to her own. Teddy’s father owned the small greengrocer’s shop, where Teddy also worked when he was not driving his ambulance.

‘Phew, you’re dancing me off me feet,’ Teddy joked, putting his hand over his heart. ‘I could do with a bit of a sit-down to get me puff back. Serves me right for nattering too much.’

He did sound a bit breathless, and although she could have danced all night, and indeed would have loved to have done so, Grace immediately agreed that they return to their table.

‘So you reckon you’re going to continue with this nursing lark, do you?’ Teddy asked her.

‘Yes. I want to complete my training more than anything.’

Teddy smiled at her as though she had said something that pleased him and then reached for her hand, holding it in his own beneath the table.

They sat out a few dances after that, gradually joined by the others as they returned to the table.

‘Oh, no, just listen to that.’ Hannah pulled a face when the band broke into a fast jitterbug number. ‘I can’t dance to that.’

‘We can, can’t we, Gracie?’ Luke laughed, reaching for Grace’s hand and pulling her to her feet despite her objections, to join the reduced number of couples brave enough to try the new dance.

‘Luke, we’ll make total fools of ourselves,’ Grace warned him, but she admitted to herself that it was fun to see the look of astonished admiration on the faces of her friends as she and Luke showed off the moves the twins had taught them.

She was laughing and out of breath when they returned to their seats at the end of the dance.

‘I hope you realise that you’re going to have to teach all of us to do that,’ said Doreen as Grace sat down. ‘We were all so envious watching you, weren’t we, Teddy?’

‘Very envious,’ he agreed.

There was a note in his voice that Grace neither recognised nor understood. She looked at him and was reassured when he smiled back at her with his familiar happy jokey Teddy smile.

It just wasn’t fair. This wasn’t how she’d expected to spend New Year’s Eve at all, in her in-laws’ front room surrounded by her parents and the dullest and most boring people she had ever met, Bella thought crossly.

And what made it worse was that Charlie had
come home two days earlier on unexpected leave, and was going to the Tennis Club dance using
her
tickets because Alan had put his foot down and insisted that they had to accept his parents’ invitation.

Even her mother had taken his side, whilst her father had gone on and on about how important it was that councillors supported one another, especially now that some idiots had started making all sorts of ridiculous accusations about councillors getting benefits that other people couldn’t have.

Bella supposed that her father was in a temper because of the criticism he was receiving over the petrol allowance he had managed to get for himself through his connection with the Ministry, but why that meant that she had to sit here listening to her mother-in-law’s dull bridge-playing friends going on about the need for everyone to do their bit, and asking her stupid questions about what kind of voluntary work she was doing, Bella had no idea. She certainly didn’t intend to waste her time making bandages or knitting. If she had to play a role in this silly war then it would have to be doing something much more glamorous than that. She started to drift off into a very pleasant daydream in which her mother-in-law’s jaw was dropping at the news that she, Bella, had been invited to Buckingham Palace to have tea with the Queen as a thank you for the wonderful effect the Women’s Enlistment poster photograph of her wearing a Norman
Hartnell-designed uniform had had on recruitment numbers.

Bella was just enjoying listening to the Queen saying admiringly, ‘And it’s all down to you, my dear,’ when her daydream was rudely interrupted by Alan’s father’s raised voice.

Bella did not like her father-in-law. Of course, she didn’t like either of Alan’s parents but she particularly disliked his father, who according to Alan had said that the only reason she wanted to marry him had been because she had thought she was ‘on to a good thing’. That was why, according to Alan, his father had refused to buy them a house or give Alan a salary raise.

He was saying something about the local papers taking a dim view of those who were using the war as an excuse to line their own pockets, and Bella guessed from her father’s angry red face that the comment had been directed at him. He looked as though he was about to explode and, knowing her father’s temper, Bella wasn’t entirely surprised when he burst out, ‘If you’re referring to the work I’m doing for the Ministry, then at least my son’s in the army and doing his bit for the country, instead of staying at home and pretending to work for me, unlike some I could name.’

Alan’s mother’s face went dark red, whilst Bella saw that her own mother was looking equally flushed but triumphant. Alan himself was scowling, whilst his father looked furious.

And then suddenly Trixie spoke up, her voice polite but very clear and cool as she pointed out
to Bella’s father, ‘But your son didn’t really plan to volunteer, did he? I remember him telling us that he’d only joined the TA to escape conscription.’

The three Parkers were looking gratefully at Trixie whilst Bella’s father was glaring at her as though he couldn’t believe his ears.

‘That’s right, Trixie, I remember Charlie saying that as well. In fact, Father-in-law, I seem to remember him also saying something about being sure you could get him out of the TA,’ said Alan smugly.

‘Rubbish, I don’t know where you’ve got that idea from. Charlie wanted to do his bit, and I’ll not have anyone say any different.’

Her father was blustering now, Bella recognised, and it was plain from the looks on the faces of her husband and her in-laws that they knew they had won the encounter.

Thanks to Trixie.

Bella gave her a baleful look. She was so plain that it was no wonder she had to suck up to their parents’ generation, and that consequently Alan’s parents thought the sun shone out of her backside, Bella thought angrily. You’d never catch her doing anything like that.

‘It might not be a bad idea to warn your brother that Lillian wants to marry a doctor,’ Hannah told Grace meaningfully, as they sat out a dance together whilst Luke danced yet again with Lillian. ‘You wouldn’t want to have him falling for her and getting hurt.’

‘Don’t be daft, Hannah. Luke is just having a good time because he’s home on leave, that’s all.’ Grace laughed.

‘Have it your own way,’ said Hannah goodnaturedly, adding, ‘I’d have thought you’d have bin dancing a bit more yourself, seeing as you are so good at it and don’t have two left feet like me.’

‘Hannah, you haven’t got two left feet at all.’

‘Well, I feel like I have, especially when I watched you doing that jitterbugging with your brother.’

Grace laughed again. ‘It’s our sisters, the twins, that got us doing that. It fair takes your puff, though.’

‘What’s that then?’ Teddy asked, coming back to the table just in time to catch the end of their conversation.

‘Dancing,’ Grace told him.

‘It does that,’ he agreed. ‘I’m saving meself now for the last dance.’ He gave them both a wink and grinned, and Grace couldn’t help but be amused. He was such fun to be with and she could tell that the other girls and Luke all liked him. She was glad that he’d said what he had to her about them just being friends, but at the same time she also felt a bit disappointed. She knew that she wanted – and needed – to concentrate on her nursing training and that the last thing she needed was to fall head over heels in love with someone, and yet a little daringly a part of her still wondered what it would be like if Teddy wanted to go further than just holding her hand and telling her how
much he liked her, whilst the more sensible part of her was glad that he was content to keep things as they were.

The last dance of the evening was announced and within seconds the floor was packed with couples determined to take the opportunity to be close to one another. The dimly lit dance floor permitted the kind of intimacy that was normally frowned upon, the war adding to the sense of urgency and poignancy that everyone was feeling, but whilst Teddy got her up to dance, he certainly wasn’t holding her as close as he could have done, not even as close as Luke was holding Lillian, Grace noticed as they danced past them. She was glad, of course, that Teddy respected her and that he was behaving so decently, she told herself firmly. But it was New Year’s Eve, and if he had attempted to hold her closer she would have understood.