Read Actually Love - Jessie & Zach Online

Authors: Melanie Shawn

Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary

Actually Love - Jessie & Zach (27 page)

BOOK: Actually Love - Jessie & Zach
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It wasn’t like she had to come up with something to tell them. She could just relay the same thing that she’d been telling herself since Sunday night; she and Zach were not a real couple. Period. That was the fact, plain and simple.

Jessie had been repeating that over and over again in a desperate attempt to file the Zach issue away in her mind under ‘resolved,’ but she had not managed to do so. Each time she tried, the little sucker popped back out with a new memory of how insanely amazing it felt when Zach touched her, how safe it had felt to fall asleep in his arms, or how easy it was for her to open up to him.

In fact, all of those reasons were actually in the con column of starting a relationship with Zach. Because all of those things were out of Jessie’s control. Her feelings for Zach were out of her control. Jessie had to be in control.

None of the things that drew her to him were what she needed. None of them meant that they should be together. She would remind herself of that and then file the little bugger back under ‘resolved.’

Stepping into the back room that Alex and Jamie used for an office-slash-gym, she saw that there was quite a crowd gathered. All of her cousins’ wives—Amber, Katie, Sophie, and Chelle—were there as well as two of her sisters.

“Sit down.” Krista’s tone was serious as she pointed to the cream-and-brown chair that sat beside the elliptical.

“Is this an intervention?” Jessie joked as she stared at her sister, not moving towards the chair.

“Kind of,” Krista answered like that should have been obvious.

“Are you serious?”

Krista had to be joking. Jessie had absolutely zero substance-abuse problems. She had a healthy diet. She did enjoy shopping, but she never overextended herself. And she was extremely organized. So this obviously wasn’t about alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, shopping addictions, or hoarding.

What else did people call interventions for?

“No, it’s not like that. It’s not an intervention.” Haley’s voice was a little too cheery and soothing for Jessie’s liking. “We just want to talk to you.”

“About what?” Every eye in the place was focused on her, and Jessie was giving them all ten seconds to explain what she was doing here or she was bouncing out of there like she was Tigger. A quick glance to her side told her that Jamie looked just as confused as she felt.

Haley’s eyes filled with concern as she sat up straighter on the loveseat she was sharing with Katie. “We’re worried about you.”

That was it. Her Achilles’ heel. She hated to see her family upset, especially if it was because of her.

Still having no idea what this was about, she took her place in the chair to hear them out. Since she knew that there was nothing in her life that should be concerning anyone, she was sure that she could easily put all their pretty little minds at ease.

“What’s going on with you and Zach?” Krista asked, like Jessie was sitting across the table from her in an interrogation room in the police station.

Nope. That was not something she would be discussing, especially in a room full of people.

“Nothing.”

“We think you’re falling for him,” Krista said as if their thoughts were cold, hard evidence that that was what was happening.

“Well, you think wrong,” Jessie stated simply.

“We also think you’re in denial,” Krista shot right back.

“Again, you think wrong.”

“You let him call you
Jess
.”

Jessie had always had an issue with people calling her ‘Jess’. It just seemed lazy to her. How hard was it to say the ‘ee’ part? But from the first moment Zach had said it, she’d felt…special. Like he said it because he really knew her, not because he was trying too hard or being lazy.

However, that was not the business of anyone in this room. Jessie would sit here all day if they wanted to talk to her because they were worried, but she was done.

Katie, probably sensing that this not-an-intervention was going nowhere fast, spoke up. “Listen, we all saw how you two were together today. There is something going on between you two. I mean, other than the fact that you guys have obviously hooked up. He cares about you, and whether you want to admit it or not, you care about him.

“We all know from experience that falling in love is scary, and I know I personally made huge mistakes by trying to deny what was right in front of my face. Luckily, we were all able to work things out, but we just wanted to tell you that, even if you don’t see it or are in denial, the truth is you and Zach are good together. He
gets
you.”

Jessie immediately went into spin mode. Tell them just enough information so they felt like they were getting the whole story without actually telling them anything. “Listen, Zach is a great guy, and I’m sure that, even after we move out, we’ll keep in touch. And yes, we have a mutual attraction, but that’s it. What you saw today was just a show we were putting on for Mabel and Margie. Nothing more,” she told the girls. It was the same thing she’d been telling herself and planned to tell her parents.

“Wow. Did you have that rehearsed?” Krista asked.

A loud knock sounded at the door. Krista, who had apparently designated herself in charge of this not-an-intervention, yelled, “Come in.”

“Hey. Sorry to interrupt,” Zach said to the room at large as he opened the door. Then, looking at Jessie, he said, “I just wanted to let you know that my mom is getting a little tired, so we’re going to head back to the city. Your dad said he’d drive you when you were ready.”

“I’m ready now.” Jessie stood, more than a little relieved that Zach had come in and saved her. She felt bad that Anna wasn’t feeling well, but she was grateful for the escape.

“No, really, you should stay. I can even come back and get you so your dad doesn’t have to drive late at night,” Zach generously offered. Jessie could tell that he really didn’t want her to miss out on her family get-together because of him.

Too late. She was already going down the line, hugging everyone goodbye, which was ridiculous because she knew that they would all follow them to the door and she’d just have to hug them again, but this was stage one of a Sloan-family departure. It consisted of announcing you were leaving and the first rounds of hugs.

As they made their way back towards the front door, she felt Zach’s hand rest on the small of her back. Just like that, all the tension, all the stress of the day, the week, her entire life, just melted away.

He leaned down and whispered, “You okay?”

Jessie turned her head to the side and lifted her eyes to meet his and the connection she felt filled her now tension-free body with calm and security. “I am now,” she answered honestly.

The admission caused her chest to tighten, gripping her in fear. When had she become dependent on someone else to make her feel better? When had she not been able to get herself out of situations she didn’t want to be in? When had one look, one touch, begun to mean so much to her?

Jessie knew the answer to that question. It was the moment Zach had walked down the steps of that basement. This was bad. Really bad.

Chapter Nineteen

“Y
oo hoo, handsome. What have you got there?” Zach heard Margie yell from her third-story window.

It was December and he was dragging an eight-foot Douglas fir down the street. He didn’t think you had to be a genius to figure out what he was doing.

“A Christmas tree,” Zach yelled up, his breath visible due to the freezing temperatures.

“Oh, that is beautiful. Jessie is going to love that,” Margie gushed.

Yep. That was the plan. He hoped, anyways.

Ever since they’d gotten home from Thanksgiving a little over a week ago, Jessie had been even more withdrawn than usual. He wasn’t sure if it had to do with him or if it was just stress from work, but when he passed by the Christmas tree lot on the way to the gym this morning, he’d gotten an idea. He still wasn’t sure if it was a good one, but he was going to find out soon enough.

As he readjusted his grip to pull the tree up the stoop, he heard, “Mabel, come here. You have to see this.”

The next thing he heard was Mabel’s voice yelling down, “Ooh la la! That’s a real beauty. And the tree’s not bad either.”

Zach had to laugh. Those ladies took the art of shamelessly flirting to an entirely new level. He had to appreciate that.

“Hey, handsome. What are you wearing to the wedding?” Margie asked as he reached the top step.

“What?” he asked as he put the key in the door, thinking he must have heard them wrong. He had on a beanie that was covering his ears and the wind was kicking up, neither of which made for the most conducive conversation environment.

“To Eddie and Haley’s wedding. We were wondering if we’d get to see you in a tux!” Mabel yelled a few decibels louder than she’d needed to.

What the…?

Zach stopped what he was doing and looked up at the third-story window that the two little white-haired heads were sticking out of. He wasn’t sure what to say. These two were masters at inviting themselves to things, so he didn’t want to ask if they were going and somehow have them turn that around as an invitation.

So he kept it safe and stayed neutral. “I don’t know what I’m wearing yet.” As far as he knew, he wasn’t even going, but they didn’t need to know that.

“You should wear a tux!” the women both exclaimed at the same time.

Zach just smiled and pushed the front door open. He still wasn’t sure if they were going, but he was definitely going to let Jessie know about the conversation he’d just had with them.

Once he shut the door behind him, he carried the tree around the corner to place it in the tree stand, which he’d put down in front of the window in the front room. He felt a little nervous. At Thanksgiving, when Jessie’s family had told him about how she never liked Christmas, all he’d done was turn to her and ask her why. She’d started telling him, and as she had, her sisters and mom had jumped in, asking her questions about it.

Zach never would have guessed in a million years that she’d never talked to them about it. He’d just been trying to play catch-up, but he’d inadvertently opened a huge can of worms that Jessie had had to deal with. Later in the day, with tears in her eyes, Jessie’s mom Sandy had taken him aside and thanked him for it. Zach hadn’t been sure if she was crying because she was happy or she was upset. He hadn’t been sure if he should apologize or tell her that it was no problem.

So he’d just stood there and nodded his head like an idiot. Then Sandy had hugged him, looked right in his eyes, and said, “You’re good for her. I’m so glad she has you.”

Part of him had wanted to correct Sandy and make sure she understood that he and Jessie weren’t really a couple. But the truth was, whether they were a real couple or not, Jessie did have Zach. He would do anything for her.

Like right now, he’d not simply bought a Christmas tree, he’d also bought decorations and the real surprise—plastic organizational containers so that, after they took the ornaments and lights off the tree, they would all have a place to go. He’d seen the look in her eyes when her family had teased her about the tradition before she’d said why she didn’t like it. She looked sad, like she wanted to be a part of the festivities but just hadn’t been able to.

Knowing her now, as an adult, he couldn’t imagine what being that same person as a child must have been like. Zach was so grateful that she’d grown up in such a loving and supportive family, because although they joked around a lot, it was clearly apparent that they loved each other and accepted everyone for who they were. They’d accepted the fact that she didn’t like to share her feelings and always wanted control.

His fingers turned the silver screws, tightening them to hold the tree trunk in place. After they were secure, he sat back on his heels, and looked at the tree in front of him, and wondered where he would be next Christmas or Thanksgiving.

As a rule, Zach didn’t look too far into the future. After his grandparents had died and his mom had gotten sick, he’d decided that he would live in the present because that is all anyone really had. The furthest he ever looked ahead was to his next fight.

Since meeting Jessie, that had changed. He realized that, even before they’d slept together, his mind had already been thinking about the future. The second he signed the lease, he felt like there was a ticking clock running. An expiration date. Not for where he lived—he didn’t give a shit about that—but for his chance to get to know Jessie better. He remembered looking down at the date that the lease would expire and thinking,
That’ll never be enough time.

Over the month they’d lived together, his mind kept wandering to what it would be like if they really tried to do this. To be together. He knew that, on paper, they were complete opposites. You didn’t have to write it down on paper. A quick visual once-over and that fact was glaringly obvious.

She wore Prada and Gucci; he wore Hanes sweats and ripped jeans. She got manicures; he got stitches. She was uptown; he was street. She was afraid of blood, and he was a boxer. He hated publicity of any sort, and she was VP of public relations.

BOOK: Actually Love - Jessie & Zach
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