Addict Nation (16 page)

Tracking Troubled Stars Has
Become an Industry Unto Itself

Our obsession with stars isn’t just frittering away our time, it’s clogging our court system. In a front-page story, the
New York Times
reported that, in one week in July 2010, “an army of government employees shooed Lindsay Lohan through a Beverly Hills courtroom to face jail for her latest probation violation. Meanwhile, a downtown jury gave Don Johnson $23.2 million for arrears on
Nash
Bridges
, a judge let stand charges against Anna Nicole Smith’s doctor, Jesse James fought a breach of contract claim, and Leif Garrett faced a heroin rap. Also, Ms. Lohan, in another Beverly Hills court, dealt with a suit over the emotional distress of someone she is accused of chasing” and “the Los Angeles County Sheriff ’s Department had acknowledged opening a domestic violence investigation involving Mel Gibson and the Russian model Oksana Grigorieva, with whom he has a child.”
¹³
Movie stars, TV actors, and reality-show contestants are involved in controversy at a rate that’s way out of proportion to their physical numbers. Drama and self-obsession are their stock and trade, and many of them appear to be working overtime. Call it professional deformation. On some very primitive, unconscious level, all attention is good.

“The narcissist goes around ‘hunting and collecting’ the way the expressions on people’s faces change when they notice him. He places himself at the center of attention, or even as a figure of controversy. He constantly and recurrently pesters those nearest and dearest to him in a bid to reassure himself that he is not losing his fame, his magic touch, the attention of his social milieu.”

—Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of
Malignant Self Love
¹⁴

Today Everyone with a Cell Phone
Is a Potential Paparazzo

As part of their narcissism, many stars are convinced the rules do not apply to them. But technology has run headlong into elitism and crushed it. No longer can the famous have it both ways, enjoying all the privileges of celebrity with none of the restrictions. To a certain degree, stardom is a pact with the devil. Stars are showered with expensive bling, luxury-gift bags, VIP sections within VIP sections, and an overall deference that would make a British royal blush. But the devil wants its due. Paparazzi packs roam Hollywood and Manhattan. Additionally, many stories are now broken by ordinary citizens who simply point a cell phone at a star who’s misbehaving. Most cell phones record video and audio. If a celebrity acts out in public, there’s a very good chance that, within minutes, the video of it will be posted on TMZ or competing sites. And, being human, stars have a tendency to forget that anything they say on a voicemail or to someone on the phone can be recorded. Mel Gibson’s vicious, profanity-filled, racist, sexist telephone rant against his Russian supermodel baby mama was recorded by her and ended up on Radar Online, available for the whole world to hear. We could all judge for ourselves whether it was his unmistakable voice.

Are We Copycats of Their Bad Behavior?

As more of the famous turn infamous for ugly, self-centered, entitled, self-destructive, and illegal behavior, the dangerous message that often comes through—to impressionable teenagers especially—is that it’s all somehow very glamorous. In his insightful book
The Mirror
Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America,
Dr. Drew Pinsky notes, “When stars are recorded indulging in high-risk behavior— drinking heavily, taking drugs, refusing rehab, losing huge amounts of weight in short amounts of time, making and releasing ‘private’ sex videos—they are doing what psychological professionals consider ‘modeling’ that behavior: that is, broadcasting an image that serves as a model for viewers of the broadcast.”
¹⁵
I couldn’t agree more. Millions of American teenagers are being inspired to behave in a boorish, profane, overly sexualized, and even dangerous manner thanks to these negative role models. That’s why it’s crucial to report on the consequences of celebrity misbehavior.

Stars Who Don’t Slip Up
Become Our Gods and Goddesses

It cannot be easy for a major star to go through an entire career without ever making the gossip columns for negative behavior. But a surprising number of huge stars manage to keep their reputations intact, despite today’s aggressive, round-the-clock news cycle. Those who manage to retain that aura of perfection become idolized, and members of the herd can become “star struck”—literally intoxicated by their object of affection.

One day, in West Hollywood, Julia Roberts apparently did something extraordinary. The
Pretty Woman
superstar is said to have walked into a self-service yogurt shop. The
New York Post
reports, “When she walked in alone, witnesses said, everyone was awestruck, silently gaping as she selected the mango flavor. ‘The second she left, a man burst into tears and then bought mango just like Julia had,’ said a source. ‘Then he fished her napkin out of the trash.”’
¹⁶

This man was clearly in the swoon of a superstar crush. In this case, the celebrity addiction manifests itself as a sick love. The obsessed fan deifies the star, putting them high up on a pedestal and prostrating himself before the famous person, as if to say,
I am
nothing, and you are everything.

We are pack animals. The need to have a leader of the pack is in our DNA. On a very primal level, we long to idolize someone we view as superior to us. The dictionary defines “venerate” as to regard “with heartfelt deference.”
¹⁷
The need to honor is all about desire, the desire to love someone who seems supernaturally blessed with attributes like supreme beauty and talent. This innate desire to worship the “other,” to bow down before that which is not ourselves, is instinctive.

It allows us to escape ourselves and let the tide of someone else’s energy propel us. It allows us to lose ourselves and—for a few brief moments—experience the joy of free-falling through the cosmos. This need to surrender to that which is not ourselves is a basic human instinct. It’s perfectly natural. However . . .

Addictions Occur When Our Natural
Instincts Go Awry and Betray Us

Our natural instincts betray us when we fixate on someone who symbolizes something that is lacking in ourselves, be it beauty, fame, charisma, genius, or even something like sobriety. When I was a practicing drunk, with an out-of-control personal life, I developed a crush on someone who was sober and who lived a life of relative simplicity. I thought I desired that person as a lover, but I was subconsciously eroticizing my desire for the qualities and strength of character that individual possessed. Once I got sober and developed those same qualities myself, the crush evaporated. I had finally figured out how to personally embrace and express those same traits, so that the “other” person ceased to appear mystical and magical to me. But when the object of one’s obsession is famous, it’s generally impossible to develop the unique qualities that made that person a star.

It’s a short leap from desiring to acquire the qualities someone else has to . . . desiring them, to stalking them. Remember that classic eighties’ Calvin Klein fragrance ad? Between love and madness lies Obsession. How true is that?

Between Love and Madness

November 11, 2008, Los Angeles:
Thirty-year-old Paula Good-speed is found dead of an apparent suicide inside her car, which is parked near
American Idol
judge Paula Abdul’s home. Along with prescription pills, cops find pictures of Abdul and the star’s CDs. The license plate on the victim’s car reportedly reads “ABL LV,” presumably shorthand for Abdul Love. Abdul’s photo dangles from the rearview mirror.
¹⁸

It would turn out that Paula Goodspeed had made it on to
American
Idol
back in 2005, getting to round three and singing before the judges. Simon Cowell actually remarked that he saw a “similarity” between Goodspeed and Adbul. Paula Abdul agreed, “I see it, definitely.” “Really? I figure that’s a compliment, because you’re beautiful,” Goodspeed replied to Abdul.

Goodspeed revealed to America that she had long been obsessed with the petite pop singer/dancer/choreographer. “I make life-size drawings of Paula. I’ve been drawing ever since I was a little kid, and my first drawing was of Paula Abdul.”
¹⁹
Goodspeed described herself as a “fashion genius,” but the infamously blunt
American Idol
panel did not agree. Simon Cowell latched on to the young woman’s braces. “I don’t think any artist on earth can sing with that much metal in your mouth anyway. You have so much metal in your mouth. That’s like a bridge.” A defiant Goodspeed vowed to continue to pursue a singing career. She later blogged about how hurtful the criticism was, but also posted a sexy photo of Paula Abdul on her MySpace page and wrote the caption. “My secret crush, shhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!”

This depressing story is an extreme example of what’s happening to a lesser extent to millions of Americans. The ubiquity of celebrity has convinced millions of young Americans that they, too, are destined for fame. It’s really setting people up for failure. Someone who is also psychologically and emotionally troubled is likely to wind up a dangerously obsessed fan.

“I think 20–25 percent of all kids believe they will be famous in their lifetime. A lot of kids don’t even know what they want to be famous for. They just want to be famous. Twenty years ago, they all wanted their MBAs.”

—Howard Bragman, author of
Where’s My Fifteen Minutes?

But What About ME?

Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, Twitter, and other social-networking sites have “tuned in” to our desire to be famous. I often hear people validate themselves, their projects, and even rate their prospective romantic partners according to how many times they pop up on the Internet. In fact, if someone doesn’t turn up on a Google search, they’re often regarded with suspicion. Are they a fraud? It’s as if the person doesn’t exist.

We all know people who are hooked on self-promotion—constantly updating their “followers” and “friends” about every new development in their lives. Each clever tweet and video they post delivers a brief rush of adrenaline as the blogger presses send, and the possibility of finally becoming recognized for a special talent or unique contribution to the world is launched into cyberspace.

“There has been a big shift in terms of celebrity. It really has gone from your 15 minutes of fame to your fifteen seconds of fame. That is mostly attributed to the Internet. The Internet has made fame a lot more attainable to many people. That’s why people’s addiction or obsession with celebrity has increased. Because they think they can become famous a lot easier than before. Whether it be from making a funny video, or doing a prank, or crashing the White House.”

—Perez Hilton, celebrity blogger

False Idols

Like all addiction, our fixation on celebrity is the result of spiritual bankruptcy. We are trying to fill a void within ourselves by either puffing ourselves up into something we’re not or becoming obsessed with someone we consider above us. Ironically, this is a perversion of a desire for enlightenment and spiritual fulfillment.

When we are emotionally sober, we can revere “something greater than ourselves” in a number of healthy ways. Some might want to pray to their concept of God. Others may want to focus on their reverence for nature. Still others may aspire to learn from the life experiences of truly evolved individuals, like Mahatma Gandhi, Henry David Thoreau, Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther King Jr.

If we can take away one lesson from our culture’s fixation on celebrity, it’s that nobody is the center of the universe. A culture that puts some people on a pedestal is also telling other people that they don’t count. We’re all interconnected parts of a larger mosaic. Therefore, we should strive to treat everyone with the kindness and deference we now reserve for so-called VIPs.

As for becoming famous ourselves, when we humbly listen to our higher power, we will hear our true calling. That will lead us to do what we’re really meant to do on this planet, whether it makes us famous . . . or not.

Chapter Five
THE PLAYERS: Addicted to Sex

J
amie Jungers was a hot, hard-bodied, twenty-one-year-old nightclub hostess and lingerie model when she says Tiger Woods summoned her from across the room in a Las Vegas hangout. She says a friend of the married superstar approached and informed her that “TIGER WOODS” wanted to meet her. She immediately complied. She says they drank, flirted, and spent the night together. “I was very excited and honored that he was interested in me,” Jungers told Meredith Viera on
The Today Show
.
¹
The ability to summon beautiful women and to almost immediately bed them must have been an exhilarating rush for Tiger—a man who’d grown up with the reputation of an overachieving geek. His nickname at college was Urkel, a reference to an extremely nerdy character of the same name on the TV show
Family Matters.
²

Because we covered the sexual shenanigans of Tiger Woods so frequently on
Issues
, I earned the equivalent of a Ph.D. in this lurid story, pouring over stacks of wire copy and magazine articles detailing the stage names, dubious occupations, enhanced breast sizes, tattoos, and private text messages of those involved with the case, along with where and how they had their alleged sexual encounters with the golf superstar. As graphic details continued to pour in from emboldened ex-girlfriends who felt they had nothing to lose (and possibly much to gain), the Tiger story exploded onto the national consciousness, quickly turning into a classic case of Too Much Information.