Adjournment (The Fate Series) (30 page)

I swallow hard, trying to force myself to move.

“Exactly, we are the only three standing, and maybe it’s time for us to go back to our seats,” Chase says, leaning over the bar.

“What are we drinking?” He nudges me.

“Dirty Shirley Temples.” I let a small smile escape.

Chase orders everyone two drinks which yes equals twenty all together. Simon takes the first tray and gives a bright smile as he walks away to the table. 

“Was it that obvious?” I look up at Chase with a frown.

“Everyone at our table is currently placing bets on whether you are going to strangle him or strip him so… no?” he teases.

Perfect.

The bartender puts the rest of the drinks onto another serving tray and hands it over to Chase who lifts it up, balancing it on his shoulder as we walk back to the table. People start whispering and others give us agreeing nods as we go past them.

By the time we get back, my sisters and I are being called to give our speeches. Tyler stands up to give me a reassuring hug which means one thing, Jacob told him about the time I passed out.

“Do you have your speech?” Molly looks at my chest.

Pulling out the piece of paper, I hear Simon cough into his glass. “What else do you keep in there?” He looks down at my dress, patting his mouth with a napkin.

“Tissues,” Jacob blurts out.

My eyes widen, and he begins to laugh.

“Well, he set me up for it.” He shrugs.

I’m sitting at a table with immature children.

Holding my hand out, I wait.

“Simon, can you give the addict her fix so we can get through this?” Molly shakes her head. Handing me three of them, I quickly unwrap them eating one after another.

I stand up, fix my dress, and then follow my sisters to the dance floor.

“Oh, Pet?” His smooth tone requests my attention with those two words that cause my stomach to flip, I turn around to snap something sarcastic at him when he walks up to me holding my drink.

“Breathe,” he exhales in a whisper, handing me the glass, then he does the unexpected.

He leans in, leaving, what I imagine in his mind to be a chaste kiss against my cheek then walks away. In my mind I’m on the floor in a puddle of girly mush. 

Turning slowly, I walk in a state of fog to the center of the dance floor. Looking around, I smile at everyone but it doesn’t feel real. I feel dazed. From where I’m standing in front of my parents, our table is the one to the left of theirs and Simon is seated across the table facing me. Tapping the mic Morgan starts her portion of the speech.

“Even though we were not there the first time their vows were read…” Morgan starts. Reality setting in my dazed feeling crumbles around me, and I begin to panic. My throat tightens leaving my lungs struggling for oxygen.

Man, it’s hot in here.

Trying to relax, I look over to our table, and everyone is watching her… everyone except Simon. I lock eyes with him, his hand slowly rises up in front of him and then back down as he tries to signal for me to calm down and breathe. Something about this action makes me want to punch him, no, I want to choke him for trying to make me into that vulnerable girl I once was.

Kissing my cheek, stupid dick. Who does he think he is, trying to get me to fall for this crap?

Drinking to remember… that’s the problem. Some of us just can’t remember… and when we do, we relive it. We don’t get to separate past from present. It devours us until we break and destroy everything around us.

Some people can’t let the images go.

No… there is nothing good to remember and there was nothing good about her, the girl whose head was so in the clouds she thought she was in love with a man…

No.

A boy, whom she had never even kissed… pathetic teenager.

Gripping my glass, the rage begins to overpower me.

Morgan ends her part and Molly picks up, while I force myself to repress it all and take a drink but it doesn’t help.

I’ve put this off long enough.

“Mom, I’ve decided to stay in New York and go to school for cosmetology.” I take a deep breath waiting for her disapproving tone but I know deep down she won’t be upset. I’ve been alienated since July. Her eyes watch me closely everywhere I go. There’s a sadness in them now, one that I put there. It’s not just sadness though, that would hurt less. This is sadness mixed with disappointment. I let her down. My heart aching I choke down the tears that want so badly to break free. So much had changed in such a short time. They look at me different now. They look at me like he does. Fragile.

My permanent scar is a daily reminder.

My fingers in my hair, I pull firmly on my bangs, forcing them to cover the long thin channeled skin.

“I knew you would come around.” She smiled up at me from behind her computer.

“You did?” I feel the air get knocked out of me. My voice breaks with relief and sadness at the same time.

“Yes dear, I am your mother after all. It’s a gift, we mothers can sense things.” She rises up from her chair, walking over to me she wraps her arms around my shoulders. The gesture makes me feel exactly how she sees me.

Small and fragile.

A
nd I hate feeling this way. 

She brushes my hair back away from where I just pulled it. “You know, you’re so much like your aunt it scares me sometimes.” She hums, her voice breaking. That’s how she sees me. Fragile like my aunt. I have to leave, my heart can’t take what I’m doing to her anymore. I want to ask her to tell me about my aunt but she will break and it will be my fault. They were best friends and her death was something my parents never really got over and my car accident brought it all back. Every raw emotion from the night they lost her, every agonizing feeling they both suffered through they had to relive the night that crazy druggie crashed into our car.

I hate her, she stole my life, my happily ever after, and now I’m here; the broken girl who everyone is afraid to let out of their sight. 

“You know if that car had hit a foot to the left.” She closes her eyes. I look up watching the tears peek through her lashes. I already know what she’s going to say. I’ve heard them say it enough.

If the car on Simon’s side had hit us at any other angle at a second later it wouldn’t have spun our car enough to save me from the car that hit my side. She wants me to forgive the girl who hit Simon’s side. But I won’t. She also wants to tell me that if the car on my side had hit one foot to the left I would be dead. She won’t though because she can’t bring herself to say the words. Because that would mean remembering my aunt’s death.

For some reason Fate interrupted this time. Even though it put an irreparable rift between me and everyone else, Fate was generous enough to save me, for whatever reason it might have had. It’s funny I even remember wishing I died in that crash. That’s what cowards like me wish.

Instead I got to live and eventually move away from the people I hurt constantly. They all deserved better than to be sad all the time for me. That girl took my plans away, but I wouldn’t let her take anything more from them. The memories continue to tear through the walls I put up.
“You’re so much like your aunt it scares me sometimes.”
My mother’s voice echoes in my head. Looking at Molly I watch her continue her speech. I try focusing on her voice, on her words, on the now. But nothing helps keep them away. I’ve opened the box, and they all want out.

“Let me give you a bit of advice.” She walks us over to the leather couch that sits in my parents’ office.

I remember.

Clearing her throat, Molly looks at me, and I’m back.

“You alright?” she asks, her face filled with concern.

I look around at the people staring at me, waiting for me to speak. Simon snaps his fingers as he mouths for me to calm down and breathe. A warmth spreads through my chest, one I haven’t felt in a long time, and I remember what helped me move past the hurt. I remember the moment we let it all go, this advice is one that I never even realized I was listening to.

I glance at our mother sitting in her chair looking stunning as she waits patiently for me to begin. She never rushed or pushed me to do something, she just waited until I realized I was ready. Guilt begins to overtake me but I smile through it. Taking a deep breath I relax and crumble the speech Molly wrote for me.

“I—” Just relax. “When I was a young girl and had my first broken heart my mother gave me some advice. She said, “Never love anyone more than they love you,” which sounds cynical to most, but watching my parents together I’ve realized now that what she meant was to love each other equally. The day-to-day like of each other will rise and fall, but the genuine love will never be questioned if it’s equal.” I raise my glass to them. “To thirty-five years of equal love and many more!” I finish.

Taking a sip I quickly add, “Oh, and also, to not settling for little men.” I wink at our mother.

Everyone at our table bursting into laughter.

I look over to Simon with a smug look on my face. I got through this, without him and his candies.

Oh, candy… I guess I can use that as a reward now.

“Nice touch, Sid.” Morgan throws her arm around my shoulder as we walk back to our table.

“Yes, look at you! Speaking in front of people and crumbling my speech like it didn’t take me days to write.” Molly tries to act mad.

“I’m sorry, I just—remembered something, and I needed to say it before I forgot again.” I give a half smile.

“I’m kidding, calm down.” She waves her hands at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud. Oh wait, yes I have been… when you finally decided to go after your dreams. We should thank you actually. If it wasn’t for you staying, we would have never had the courage to drop out and go for fashion. But that doesn’t matter now, what matters now is the amount of hot men here tonight. Did anyone else notice that?” Molly changes the subject and looks around the room.

The knowledge that my sisters got to do what they wanted sends a surge of happiness through me.

That’s what it was all for. A second chance.

Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. I wasn’t focusing on the people in the room. For once. “Maybe we should hold off on the drinks?” I make a face to let them know I’m kidding.

“No way!” Molly’s eyes widen.

Morgan’s head jerks back in disgust. “That’s called having goggles on and most of the men here work with Dad. So yeah, you need to take it easy tonight.” She waves her hand out as we look around.

Ummm…

“Morgan—she’s right,” I gasp. “There are a lot of hot guys here.” Catching a few of their eyes, they smile and wink, then turn back to their conversations.

What the…

“You don’t—you don’t think?” I stutter, my mouth going dry.

“No, Mom and Dad wouldn’t do that to us… would they?” Morgan looks back at me.

I take it back about not needing Simon… For the first time ever I want to glue myself to him… and I’ve been glued to him before.

“Molly, what do you care? You’ve landed yourself a McAllister… That’s something to be proud of. Stop looking around.” Morgan lifts her glass in a toast-like fashion to Molly.

“Proud is a bit excessive, don’t you think?” I grimace.

“Not when it comes to Dean… He’s the good one, the sweet one…” Morgan replies.

“The weak one,” I add, laughing.

“Exactly.” Morgan nods.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Molly stops us before we get to the table.

“Nothing, it’s just he isn’t deceptive like Simon…” I offer.

“And he isn’t charismatic like Chase,” Morgan joins in.

Yeah… that sounds like an insult.

“Well, is it my fault you two have terrible taste in men,” she bites out in a hurt-filled tone.

“She didn’t mean it like that.” I give Morgan a cold glare. “He’s the safe one. He would never hurt you is what she meant.” I smile back at Molly. She nods and smiles before she walks away.

“Charismatic?” I raise a brow to Morgan.

“It just came out.” She rolls her eyes.

“Oh, I bet! Look at you, finding him so irresistibly… charismatic,” I breathe out in a mocking tone.

“Why don’t you go shove a chocolate in your mouth,” she huffs, walking away from me to sit down.

“Where did Simon go?” I ask, when I get to my seat.

I notice a gold wrapped candy sitting at the top of my dish and smile.

“Mea is sitting alone? I don’t know it seemed like a big deal over nothing.” Lexi shrugs as she takes a bite of her food.

Well, I guess I don’t need him more than her anymore…

“I’m sure he won’t mind then if I take his drink.” I reach over and grab his glass.

What is with him and this girl? She’s like a fragile little butterfly, I’m surprised they didn’t have her come over and squeeze in with us… I would gladly give up my seat for her, I’m sure she would be all over it since it’s right next to Simon. I angrily drain his glass.

“Aren’t you afraid of where his mouth has been?” Grams shakes her head at me.

Lexi laughs, putting down her fork on the plate before looking over at Grams. “You know, Grams, you and Sidney are a lot alike,” she enlightens her.

With a raised brow I look at Lexi, then put the ice-filled glass down to grab my fork even though I’m not hungry.

“I wouldn’t have thought that, the girl cringes every time someone says sex. I welcome the conversation.” She looks back at me.

I cringe and move my food around the plate.

“No Grams… It’s only when you talk about sex that reaction happens,” Morgan chimes in.

Dropping my fork, I decide to drink my dinner instead.