After School Activities (22 page)

Besides, what does boyfriend and girlfriend even
mean
, you know?

They’re just labels. That’s what Adam says, and he’s, like, really hot so, I
don’t know, I just go along with it.”

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Tiffany talked about him all the time.

“He’s, like, top ten best guys I have ever dated, easy.”

Keeping quiet about it was getting harder and harder.

“Last night we spent over an hour in his car just kissing. Most guys

would push for something more, you know? But Adam is just a
romantic
.

He knows I’m a lady.”

It was really annoying.

“Guys, how do you know if you’re in love?”

It was also a real moral quandary. I mean, she was getting lied to.

And it was obvious this whole thing really meant something to her. I was

basically watching a friend setting herself up for heartbreak. But what

could I say without compromising Adam’s secrets? ’Cause I still refused

to be that guy, the one who outs someone ’cause he’s angry. I talked to

Charlotte about it, that night I went to her girls’ night, the one Tiffany

didn’t go to.

“Well,” Charlotte said as she mixed some cookie dough. It was

surprising how many of our conversations happened over baking. Also,

how much of my life had come to revolve around cookies lately. “I’ve

been trying to tell her that Adam’s not good for her as subtly as I can.

Especially since I can’t tell her why.”

“Subtle? With Tiffany? You sure you don’t wanna try, I don’t know,

spelling it out for her?”

Charlotte waved a reproachful finger at me, though the effect was

somewhat spoiled by the fact it was covered in cookie dough. “She’ll

surprise you.” She stuck her finger in her mouth and made a delighted

sound at the taste.

“I just feel like I should be doing something too.”

She shook her head, an emphatic no. “You’re too mad at him. That,

more than anything else, will come across to her.”

I wanted to argue with her that no, I wasn’t mad, but some of the

other girls chose that moment to join us in the kitchen. Besides, I was

pretty sure she would have seen through me. I doubted she’d buy the “I’m

not mad, just disappointed” shtick. I couldn’t even get myself to believe it.

Now, I know that literally everyone would probably think “Gee,

Dylan, why don’t you talk to Mel and Kai about this? They are your best

friends.” At least, those who weren’t thinking “Poor Dylan, things are so

hard for you right now. You’re such a good guy. You don’t deserve this.

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You deserve a hug. And a cookie.” Thank you, nice people, I will have a

cookie. Or six.

The truth is, I didn’t quite feel like I could. To understand this, you

really need to understand them. They expected me to be so
sad
about all of this. And, I mean, I was sad. But they tiptoed around the subject like

someone stealing honey from a napping bear. Remember that day at

lunch? When it did come up, they stared at me with these faces so steeped

in pity and sympathy I only wanted to punch them. At least Charlotte still

acted like I was a normal fucking person.

Plus, Kai had always been against Adam. I couldn’t help but feel

there was a little bit of an I-told-you-so air about him. It was probably my

imagination, but there you go. And Mel… well, like I said, she kinda

frightened me sometimes, especially when she got protective. I half

worried that every time I talked about how I feel about Adam, she got one

step closer to breaking into his house and waterboarding him until he

agreed to take me back.

Not that I even wanted him back necessarily.

So I talked to Charlotte sometimes instead. But mostly I kept quiet

and carried on. It was one of the worst times of my life. I had been through

plenty of bad times, but this was the first time I’d really felt alone, walled off from the people around me. Probably the worst part about it was how

every day felt so exactly the same as the day before, like time had stopped

but no one else got the memo. The cookies helped. Some. This went on for

exactly forty-seven days, a period I like to call the Great Midwinter

Sadness or, alternatively, the Time of Many Cookies. Things didn’t get

better right after. In fact, in some ways they got worse. But at least,

finally, they changed.

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After School Activities

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

IT STARTED with a right turn. By all accounts that day was going to be a

regular Friday in February. I woke up miserable, had cookies for

breakfast, sat quietly in the back of Kai’s car on the way to school, staring out the window as Mel and Kai laughed. It wasn’t too cold, but not

unseasonably warm. Really, there was nothing about it that would make it

any different from an average day. No reason for me to vary my routine.

And yet I did.

We walked into school, and Mel and Kai immediately turned left

to head to our lockers, like we did every morning. I was lagging a little

behind. They didn’t notice—I’d been doing that a lot lately.

I stood there and watched them go, wondering if they’d see I

wasn’t following. They didn’t, which was odd, in hindsight. Maybe I

was sick of the routine, maybe I was sick of Mel and Kai themselves,

or maybe I knew, somehow, that despite today’s unremarkable exterior,

something big was about to happen. Whatever the reason, I turned my

back on their now distant figures, about to vanish into the crowd, and

walked the other way. I took a right.

Of course, this wasn’t really a big deal. At the time I didn’t think

anything of it. But in hindsight it was remarkable. If I hadn’t broken my

routine, hadn’t turned right instead of left, I honestly have no idea how

things might have changed. Because immediately after turning right, I

walked past Tiffany, standing at her locker, alone and subdued. And I

stopped. I’m a little surprised that I did, looking back. But not a lot—she

was my friend, after all. Usually, Tiffany was bubbly, full of laughter and

energy. She was rarely ever without her group of friends—they typically

traveled in a pack. She never, ever stood, frozen, holding a textbook half

out of her locker and staring off into space. I watched her for well over a

minute before I spoke.

“Tiffany? Are you all right?”

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Dirk Hunter

“What?” Her head turned toward me. It was the first I’d seen her

move. “I said, are you okay? What’s up?”

She looked at the textbook in her hand, finally completing the

motion of putting it in her backpack. I wondered how long she had stayed

like that. “Oh, I’m fine. It’s just, I was thinking.”

Somehow, the idea of Tiffany simply being lost in thought was more

alarming. “About what?” I asked.

“About Adam,” she said. That hollowness in the pit of my stomach

grew. I should have known. “He broke up with me last week.”

That hollowness grew even larger, was suddenly filled with

butterflies and all sorts of other winged critters engaged in sudden and

very bloody war. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I’m not upset about that. I think…. It seemed like he never

really liked me. This will sound weird, but it was almost like he just felt

obligated to me, somehow. Like he was doing what he thought he
should
, rather than what he wanted. Sounds crazy, right?”

All I could manage was a “Huh.” Charlotte was right, Tiffany really

could surprise you.

“But he was always nice to me, so I’m not mad. That’s more than I

can say for some of the guys I’ve dated. He never tried to force me to do

anything I didn’t want to. He was always very respectful. It’s funny. Being

around him kind of reminded me of hanging out with you. Weird, right?”

She laughed softly, shaking her head. “He kept himself so distant, but I

suppose that makes sense now. I hope he’s all right.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“I hope so. Have you seen him today?”

“No….”

“He left so abruptly yesterday. At first I thought it was me, because

he didn’t want to be around me. You know, after he broke it off. But then I

heard his brother had called the school, got him excused. Did you know

his mom was sick?”

Suddenly all the pieces of this conversation, which had been refusing

to make sense, all slid and snapped into place. She didn’t seem sad for

herself, but for him. Pulled out of school yesterday.
Was
sick, she said.

Was. It all came crashing together.

His mom had died. And he was all alone.

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“I have to go.” Without waiting for Tiffany to respond, I turned and

ran. “There you are,” Kai said as I made it to his locker, “We were

wondering where you went.”

“I need your keys,” I said, a little out of breath.

“You what now?” he asked, bewildered. I didn’t have time to

explain. I shoved my hand in his pocket and groped around for them.

“This is… intrusive…,” he said but didn’t stop me.

I got them. “Thanks. I love you. Bye,” I called over my shoulder as I

left. “What was that about?” Kai asked, watching me go.

“Beats me,” Mel said.

“Am I going to regret letting him go?”

“Probably.”

I NEVER really paused to think about what I was doing. Which I’m

actually glad for. If I had, maybe I would have gone back. It wasn’t like I

didn’t have the opportunity.

Principal Hayes stopped me. “Mr. O’Connor! It’s been quite some

time since I’ve seen you.”

“I know. You’re very disappointed.” I stepped around him and kept

walking. “Worry not. I’m sure that’ll change soon.”

“On the contrary, I find it quite heartening that…. Where are you

going, Mr. O’Connor?”

“Out.”

“Mr. O’Connor, if you don’t turn around this instant, I’ll have no

choice but to—”

I paused at the threshold long enough to give Principal Hayes my

most mischievous grin. “See? Things are back to normal already.” With

that, I let the door slam shut, relishing the look on Hayes’s face.

I felt a little less cool when I got to the parking lot and could not for

the life of me find Kai’s car. Turns out I’d never actually paid attention.

I’d follow Kai to the car, get in, wait to get where we were going, follow

Kai out. So I ran up and down the aisles, pressing the unlock button on

Kai’s keys until I finally saw his flashing lights. I opened the door, got in, and….

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Dirk Hunter

Stopped.

I was in the passenger seat. Not a big deal. Sheer force of habit,

right? Not like anyone was looking to see me make a fool of myself. I got

out, switched sides, put the keys in the ignition, and….

Stopped.

I had no idea how to drive a car. You turned the keys—I knew that

much, so I did. It started. So far so good. Right pedal, go; left pedal, stop.

Put the car in “D,” for Drive, presumably…. HAH! No, wait, reverse, first.

See? I got this. What could go wrong?

Steering, it turned out. Didn’t hit anything, though, so I decided to

log that one under “success.”
Now
drive. How hard could this be? I played Mario Kart—same idea, right? I played well, I usually won, I….

Stopped. Or, braked, rather.

I thought of all the times I crashed in Mario Kart. Sure, like seventy

percent of those were from being run off the road by a vengeful Kai-as-

Toad, but there was a good number of just swerving out for no particular

reason.

“Come on, Dylan,” I whispered to myself. “You can do this. It’s not

like there’s going to be shells thrown at you every few seconds, or banana

peels scattered on the road.” I didn’t sound very confident, even to myself.

Carefully, I put the car back into drive and slowly pulled out of the school

parking lot. “Hopefully.”

What followed next was a very stressful, but ultimately uneventful

fifteen minutes. The hardest part was probably figuring out how to make

the windshield wipers work when it started to snow. I pulled up to Adam’s

secret spot completely unscathed, if with significantly higher blood

pressure.

Adam watched as the car jerked to a stop. He stood outside his

car, key in his hand, clearly about to leave. I’d made it just in time. I

turned off the car, scrambled out and, standing there face to face, all the

speeches I had been frantically practicing in the car suddenly fled my

brain. We just stared at each other over the hood of Kai’s car.

Adam was the first to think of something to say. “How’d you know

I’d be here?” His face gave no indication of how he was feeling.

“It’s where you go. I figured you’d need to get out of your house,

so….”

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His voice was soft, almost distant. “I take it you know, then, about—

” His voice clouded with emotion, and he paused. When he spoke again,

he sounded calm once more. “About Mom.”

I nodded.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I—I know things between us were… you know. But I thought you

shouldn’t be alone right now. So I came.” His face didn’t change. “I’m

sorry. That was stupid of me. Selfish. I’ll leave you alone.” I started to get back into Kai’s car.