After School Activities (21 page)

“What?”

“Let me in.” It was Adam—as if there could have been any doubt.

“No.”

“Come on, Dylan, I just want to talk to you.”

“You could always try the front door. But then, that wouldn’t be

secret
, would it?”

“Is that what this is about? If you would let me explain—”

“That’s not what this is about.”

Adam growled with frustration and tried to pull off the window

screen like he had so many times before. Only this time it didn’t budge.

“What the…? Did you nail this thing down?”

“Screws, actually. But yes.”

“Goddammit…. Dylan, listen, you have every right to be mad,

but—”

“Mad? Who’s mad? I’m not mad.” Lies. But he didn’t need to know

that.

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“Then why the fuck are you doing this? If you’d just let me finish a

fucking sentence, maybe I could explain—”

“Explain what?” Okay, I’ll be honest, continually cutting him off

was giving me
far
too much pleasure right then. Whatever, I felt no

shame. “You don’t need to explain anything. I understand. Really, I do.

You’re scared of people finding out you’re gay, right?” Adam was staring

at me, obviously dumbstruck that I wasn’t yelling at him, that I wasn’t

rising to meet his anger. Instead, I spoke calmly. “Let me guess. You

thought people were starting to suspect. Someone—probably Will Davis,

am I right?—started giving you shit about how much time you spend with

me, how disinterested you seem in girls these days, blah blah blah. So you

decided to stop the rumors before they could spread by being seen, very

publicly, flirting heavily with a girl. And voila, problem solved. Well? Am

I right?”

Adam refused to meet my eyes.

“That’s what I thought,” I continued. “You know how I knew all

that? Because it is
such a fucking cliché
! So I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad that you’re scared. I get that. I’m not mad that you want to keep our

relationship a secret. I told you I was okay with that. I’m not even mad

that you’d go to extravagant lengths to try and prove to everyone you

really are straight. I sort of figured going into this there’d be a few of those attempts. But you know what I’m not okay with? Being your kept boy,

essentially your mistress. I’m fine with you not telling people about us, but not with being your little affair on the side. And, fuck, Adam, Tiffany is

my
friend
, and she really likes you. She doesn’t deserve to be your beard.

Did you even think about how she would feel when she eventually realizes

you don’t care for her at all?” I’m a little ashamed to admit that it was only then, saying that to Adam, I realized that I, too, had used Tiffany. In that

way, I was no better than Adam. Worse, even, since he was only afraid to

tell the truth, but I was acting out of a petty desire for revenge. I’d have to bake a cake or something in apology. But I wasn’t about to mention any of

that to Adam.

“But do you know what the worst part is, Adam? The part I’m most

hard-pressed to overlook? You
lied
to me. If you had told me what you were feeling, I could have helped you through it. At the very least, I could

have told you that I’m
not
okay with you pretending to date someone else, that it would end our relationship—”

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Dirk Hunter

“Oh, you are real y one to talk, Dylan,” Adam burst in, rallying his

anger and making one more attempt to turn the tables back on me. “Did you

tell me before you went and fucked Malachi?”

“There are a million and one reasons why that is different, and you

know that full well. For one, I broke it off when I realized how it affected

you. Are you prepared to do the same?”

“What—” The anger finally drained from Adam. “What do you want

from me?”

“I want you to come through that front door and commit to actually

being
my boyfriend. Or I want you to leave.”

For a long while he stood there, staring at me. I could see him

teetering on the edge of a decision, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out where he was going to land. When finally he turned his back and

walked away, I knew he’d made his decision. And I knew he didn’t

choose me.

“What’s happening?” came Kai’s voice from behind the bed. “Did

he say yes? Is he coming in?”

“Oh, you lovable idiot,” Mel said. “No.” She always was that much

quicker on the uptake. The two of them came over and wrapped their arms

around me in a group hug. I think they were expecting me to cry. To be

honest, I was kind of expecting me to cry, too, at least a little. But all I did was stare out the window at those footprints, barely visible in the snow,

feeling hollow.

There was a soft knock at the door. Mel and Kai jumped, no doubt

thinking it might be Adam, changed his mind or come to his senses or

something. I knew better. Regardless, it was still a slight surprise when my

mom poked her head through the door.

“Hey,” she said, “I brought you some ice cream. I figured you might

need it.” She held out a newly opened pint of ice cream with three spoons

stuck in it.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. This was just too surreal. It was

helpless, almost crazed laughter. “You heard, huh?”

Mom smiled. “Well, that’s the funny thing about having a shouting

match with someone outside your window. It isn’t exactly private.”

“What about Dad? Any chance he slept through it?”

“Oh, he tried, but I woke him up. Didn’t want him to miss the

show.”

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After School Activities

“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

“He’s in the kitchen now, baking some cookies. Three different

kinds. Drown heartbreak in calories, I always say. We can also order a

pizza, if you want. I’m sure somewhere is still delivering.” She gave me a

big hug. “I’m sorry, hon,” she whispered in my ear.

“Thanks, Mommy,” I whispered back. I did feel like crying then, but

I held the tears back.

“Well, I’ll leave this here,” Mom said, putting the ice cream on my

dresser. “The cookies should be done in a few minutes. Let me know if

you need anything. Love you, kids.”

“Love you too, Mom Number Two,” Kai said.

“I have strong feelings of affection for you as well, Mrs. O,” Mel

said. With Mom gone, I turned to my best friends. “Well, who wants to

play
GoldenEye
? I don’t know about you guys, but I really want to just shoot a bunch of things right now. And I don’t care what you say, I’m

playing Oddjob. Plus, I’ll be eating all this ice cream at the same time, and if you don’t let me win, you’re both officially the worst friends ever.”

“I love you, Dylan,” Mel said, “but I will never let you win.”

Kai nodded. “What she said.”

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Dirk Hunter

CHAPTER TWENTY

SO FAR it was shaping up to be a rather ordinary Tuesday. I was

miserable, alone, and just generally no fun to be around. I walked in a

daze from class to class. There were dozens of opportunities for jokes,

wisecracks, and witty observations, but I came up blank every time. In the

few weeks since my split with Adam, this had become my new, boring,

depressing reality.

It was funny. Just a few months before, things were exactly like

this—I was single, with no prospects for love, the only sex I was getting

was from my left hand, and I spent my days bored out of my mind in

school and my nights with my best friends. Yet then I was happy, and now

I was categorically not. The only variable that was any different is Adam.

Then we talked every day, albeit mostly yelling and insults, and now we

avoided each other. It’s funny that I’d miss having a bully.

I know, I know. It wasn’t the bully I missed. If that really were

the case, then all my problems would be solved, because a new bully

had stepped up to take over Adam’s old responsibilities. A new bully

by the name of Will Davis who, with a sixth sense that seemed to be

every asshole’s gift, knew exactly how to kick me when I was down.

“It must be hard,” Will was saying as we stood in the lunch line,

“being the only faggot around. Lonely.” I ignored him. Adam stood a few

people ahead in the line. It was obvious he could hear what his supposed

friend was saying, but he didn’t even react.

“Oh, Will, you’re not alone,” Kai said. “I’m sure there’s someone

out there for you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Malachi. I didn’t realize it was the Jew’s job to

speak for the faggot.”

“It’s pronounced ‘Fa-jay,’” Mel said. “It’s French.”

“Sure it is, bitch,” he mumbled, turning away.

“The soul of wit, you are, Will,” Mel muttered.

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After School Activities

“Why didn’t you say anything back there, Dylan?” Kai demanded

when we got to our lunch table. “Normally you’d tear the guy a new one

for saying even half of what he did. If it were Ad—” He gave a strangled

yell and snapped his mouth shut, glaring at Mel. No doubt she had kicked

him under the table. She had been becoming more and more unnecessarily

protective lately. Not that I was complaining. A part of me was thankful.

But the truth was, I didn’t care if Kai said Adam’s name. I wasn’t gonna

burst into tears or plunge back into the depths of sadness.

You kind of need to be happy first, before you can plunge back into

anything.

Besides, he had a point. Normally I would leap at the opportunity to

put an annoying jock in his place. Sure, Adam was my main sparring

partner, but I’d shut down Will Davis nearly as many times, though mostly

because he was right there behind Adam. Back then there had been a sense

of outrage at their idiocy, a feeling of righteousness and a joy to a well-

timed quip, to seeing their faces screw up with trying to figure out what

exactly you had called them. Now there was only apathy. To most things,

really. And so, like we had every day that week, the three of us ate our

lunches in silence. On the bright side, my dad made cookies practically

every night now. So at least it was a tasty lunch.

WHEN SCHOOL had started back up again after the New Year, one of the

first things I did was seek Charlotte out to apologize. I heard a good many

stories about what had happened after I left. Adam stopped being the

center of those girls’ attentions. Instead they began to focus more and

more on each other, competing for no other reason than to win. It

happened rather abruptly. One second they were vying for his attention,

the next there was only screaming, crying, and throwing things. It made

me realize how much effort Charlotte had gone through to avoid drama at

her party—and why it was so important. I had no idea things would

escalate so quickly or so drastically. Mel didn’t seem surprised. She told

me never to underestimate the power of teenage girls to absolutely destroy

any situation.

“Just be glad none of the guys got involved,” she had told me, clearly

speaking from experience. “That’s when things real y get bad.”

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Dirk Hunter

Sometimes she frightens me.

That night wasn’t a complete waste, though. Sure, the focus of the

ladies’ scorn had eventually shifted from Adam, which was apparently

when he was able to make his escape to come plead his case to me, but

there had been more than enough opportunities to make Adam feel the

pain of my ire. I still heard about it from kids in the halls of school. Mostly guys, mostly speaking in admiring tones, awed at the prowess of a man

who seemed able to be the object of so many women’s affections. Of

course, they believed Adam was straight, expected him to have enjoyed all

their attention. I knew better. Their stories gave me a sick pleasure I am a

little embarrassed to admit to. Stories of girls trying to tear his clothes off, of coercing him into that darkened room upstairs—of course, in their

telling, it was
he
who coerced
them
—and partaking in God-knows-what depraved sex acts. The arousal in their voices was palpable as they

imagined being under a pile of vaginas and surrounded by more boobs

than they could count. They never guessed that, to Adam, it would have

been a kind of torture.

But the point is, I felt bad about all of this. Well, specifically the

ruining Charlotte’s party bit. But she was very gracious in accepting my

apology. She had even invited me to a few more parties—small weekend

get-togethers, more along the lines of girls’ nights. I even went to one, but only ’cause I knew Tiffany wasn’t going to be there.

Tiffany… she was a harder problem to solve. True to what I

promised myself, I did apologize to her, though I adamantly refused to

explain what I was apologizing
for
. She forgave me instantly and with a laugh. She did look really confused, but that was not exactly a feeling

she was unfamiliar with, and she soon forgot about the whole

encounter. As far as she was concerned, we were the best of friends.

Luckily, she hadn’t started to suspect that I’d been avoiding her.

See, Adam’s straight-guy charade wasn’t a one-night affair. It had

been almost two months since the party, and he was still leading Tiffany

on.
“We aren’t, like, boyfriend and girlfriend, you know? But just like a
boy and a girl who are
friends
and really like spending time together.