After (The After Series) (39 page)

“Yeah, why not?” I reply.

“Tonight, then?”

“Yeah, tonight is good.” I don’t think tonight is a good idea, seeing as I have studying to make up for, but I’m still ahead of the course despite having missed a few classes this week.

“Awesome, I’ll be here at seven, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He brings his lower lip between his perfect teeth. “See you tonight, beautiful,” he says and I flush, waving goodbye as he leaves the room.

It is four now, so I have three hours. I blow-dry my hair and curl the ends, and to my surprise it looks really good. I apply light makeup and put on one of my new outfits, a pair of dark jeans, a white tank top, and a long brown cardigan. My nerves are getting the best of me as I stare into the mirror.
Maybe I should change?
I switch to a blue tank top and a button-up shirt. I can’t believe I am going on a date with Zed. I’ve had one boyfriend in my entire life, and now I am going on a date with Zed after all this mess with Hardin. Maybe guys with tattoos and piercings are my new type?

I pull out my old copy of
Pride and Prejudice
and begin to read to pass the time. But my mind wanders, and thoughts of Noah continue to preoccupy me. Should I call him? I reach for my phone and scroll through the names until I reach his. I stare at the screen; my guilt and my common sense fight it out until I toss my phone back onto my bed.

WHAT SEEMS LIKE
just minutes later, there is a knock at the door. I know it must be Zed because Hardin wouldn’t knock. He would rudely barge in and throw my stuff all over the place.

When I open the door I can’t help but gape. Zed is dressed in
tight black jeans, white sneakers, and a T-shirt with a cutoff jean jacket over it. He looks so hot.

“You look beautiful, Tessa,” he says, and then hands me a flower.

A flower?
I’m both surprised and flattered by Zed’s thoughtful gift.

“Thank you.” I smile and bring the white lily to my nose.

“Are you ready?” he asks politely.

“Yes, where are you taking me?” I ask him as we walk outside.

“I figured we’d just go to dinner and a movie, something casual, no pressure.” He beams.

I reach for the passenger door handle but he stops me. “Allow me,” he says with humor in his voice.

“Oh. Thanks.”

I’m still nervous, but Zed’s so nice it makes it easy to start to relax. When we get into the car he keeps the radio off and makes small talk, asking about my family and my plans after college. He tells me how he is going to WCU for environmental science, which surprises but intrigues me.

We arrive at a casual café-style restaurant and sit out on the patio. After ordering our meals, we continue chatting until the food comes. Zed eats all of his food and begins to steal fries off my plate.

I lift my fork menacingly. “If you take another fry, I’ll have to kill you,” I tease.

He gives me a mock-innocent look and laughs with his tongue between his teeth. I find myself laughing for what seems like ages, and it feels great.

“You have an adorable laugh,” he says, and I roll my eyes.

We end up going to see a cheesy comedy that fails to entertain either of us. But that’s okay, because we entertain ourselves with small jokes to each other during the movie, and toward the end he puts his hand over mine. It’s not uncomfortable, like I
had assumed that it would be, but it doesn’t feel the same as when Hardin does it. And right then it occurs to me that I made it hours without even thinking of Hardin, which is a refreshing change from him consuming my thoughts every day, all day.

When Zed gets me back to campus, it’s almost eleven. I’m glad it’s Wednesday—only two more days until the weekend, when I can catch up on my sleep.

He gets out of the car and walks over to me as I adjust my purse on my hip. “I had a really nice time; thank you for agreeing to come out with me,” he says.

“I had a nice time, too.” I smile.

“I was thinking . . . remember when you asked if I was going to the bonfire?” When I nod, he asks, “Do you mind if I come along?”

“Sure, that would be fine. I’ll be going with Landon and his girlfriend, though.” I don’t recall Zed joining in on the group teasing Landon, but I just want to make sure he knows that it is not okay.

“That’s fine, he seems nice,” he says and I smile.

“Well, it’s settled, then. Meet you there?” I suggest. There is no way I am taking him to dinner at Landon’s house.

“Sounds good. Thanks again for tonight.” He takes a step closer.

Is he going to kiss me?
I start to panic. But instead he wraps his hand over mine and brings it up to his mouth. Placing one single kiss on the top of my hand, his lips are soft against my hot skin and his gesture is very sweet.

“Have a good night, Tessa,” he says and gets back into his car.

I let out a deep breath, relieved that he didn’t try to really kiss me. He’s cute, and was a good kisser during Truth or Dare, but the timing just doesn’t feel right.

THE NEXT MORNING
Landon is waiting at the coffeehouse for me and I tell him about Zed.

Annoyingly, the first thing he says is “Does Hardin know about this?”

“No, and he doesn’t need to. It’s none of his business.” I realize my tone was a little too harsh, so I add, “I’m sorry, it’s just a touchy subject.”

“Obviously. Just be careful,” he warns me sweetly and I promise him that I will.

The rest of the day zooms by and Landon doesn’t bring up Hardin or Zed again. Finally it’s time for Literature, and I hold my breath as Landon and I walk into the room, where Hardin is sitting in his usual seat. My chest aches at the sight of him. He glances over at me but then turns back to the front of the room.

“So you went out with Zed last night?” he asks as I sit down. I was praying that he wouldn’t talk to me.

“That’s none of your concern,” I reply quietly.

He turns in his seat and brings his face close to mine. “Word travels quickly in our group, Tessa, remember that.”

Is he trying to threaten to tell his friends about all the things we did together?
The thought makes my bile rise.

I turn away from him and focus my attention to the professor, who clears his throat and says, “Okay, everyone, let’s start where we left off yesterday discussing
Wuthering Heights
.”

My stomach drops. We aren’t supposed to be discussing
Wuthering Heights
until next week—this is what I get for missing class. I feel Hardin’s eyes on me. Perhaps, like me, he is thinking about the first time I was in his bedroom and he caught me reading his copy of the novel.

Our teacher paces before us, his hands clasped behind his back. “So, as we know, Catherine and Heathcliff had a very passionate relationship, their passion being such a force in the novel that it ruined essentially every other character’s life in its wake.
Some argue that they were terrible for each other, and some argue that they should have married one another instead of fighting their love from the beginning.” He pauses, looking out at all of us. “So, what do you think?” he asks.

Usually, I would raise my hand immediately, proud to show off my expert knowledge on classic novels, but this one hits too close to home.

A voice from the back of the room answers, “I think they were terrible for one another; they fought constantly and Catherine refused to admit her love for Heathcliff. She married Edgar, even though she knew she was in love with Heathcliff the entire time. If they would have just been together in the beginning, everyone would have been a lot less miserable.”

Hardin looks at me, and I feel my cheeks heat up. “I think Catherine was a selfish, pompous bitch,” he lets out. Gasps fill the room and the professor glowers at Hardin, but he continues. “Sorry, but she thought she was too good for Heathcliff—and maybe she was, but she knew Edgar could never compare to Heathcliff and yet she married him anyway. Catherine and Heathcliff were just so similar that it was hard for them to get along, but if Catherine wasn’t so stubborn they could have lived a long and happy life together.”

I feel foolish as I, too, begin to compare Hardin and myself to the characters in the novel. The difference is that Heathcliff loved Catherine tremendously, so much so that he sat by idly as she married another man before he finally married someone else. Hardin does not love me that way—or at all—so he has no right to compare himself to Heathcliff.

The entire class seems to be looking at me, waiting for my reply. They are probably hoping for an argument like last time, but I stay quiet. I know Hardin is trying to bait me, and I will not fall for it.

A
fter class I say goodbye to Landon and walk straight to the professor to explain my absences. He congratulates me on my internship and explains that he rearranged the syllabus a little. I keep our conversation going until Hardin exits the room.

I make my way back to my room, where I lay out all my notes and textbooks on my bed. I try to study but feel on edge waiting for Steph, Hardin, or one of the many other people who are always in and out of my room, to show up. I pack my study materials into my bag and head to my car. I will find a place to study off campus, maybe a coffee shop.

Driving toward town, I spy a small library on the corner of a busy street. Only a few cars are in the lot, so I pull in. I walk all the way to the back of the library and sit next to the window, pulling all of my books and notes out so I can get to work. For the first time, I can study in peace, no distractions. This will be my new sanctuary, the perfect place to study.

“MISS, WE ARE CLOSING
in five minutes,” an elderly librarian comes over to inform me.

Closing?
Looking out the window, I see that it
is
dark out. I didn’t even notice the sun going down. I was so engrossed in my books, hours passed and I didn’t even notice. I will definitely have to come here more often.

“Oh, okay, thank you,” I reply and pack up my things. Checking my phone, I see a new text from Zed.

I just wanted to tell you goodnight, I can’t wait for Friday.

He really is very nice, so I reply,
That is very sweet, thank you. I am looking forward to it too.

Back in the room, Steph is still gone, so I change into my pajamas and grab
Wuthering Heights
. I fall asleep quickly, dreaming of Heathcliff and the moors.

WHEN I WAKE UP ON FRIDAY,
I have a text message from Landon telling me that he won’t be on campus at all today because Dakota is arriving earlier than he thought. Skipping Literature crosses my mind momentarily, but I decide against it. I can’t let Hardin ruin anything else I like.

I take a little more time to get ready today and braid the front of my hair back before curling it. It’s supposed to be warm, so I wear a purple sleeveless fleece jacket and jeans. When I go to the coffeehouse before class, Logan ends up in front of me in line. Before I can walk away unnoticed, he turns around.

“Hey, Tessa,” he says.

“Hey, Logan. How are you?” I ask politely.

“I’m good, you coming tonight?”

“To the bonfire?”

“No, the party. The bonfire is going to be lame, it always is.”

“Oh well, I’m going to the bonfire.” I laugh lightly and he chuckles.

“Well, if you get bored, you can always stop by,” he says and grabs his coffee.

I thank him as he walks away, relieved that Hardin’s group seems uninterested in the bonfire, which means I won’t have to deal with any of them tonight.

When it’s time for Literature, I walk right to my seat without a single glance in Hardin’s direction. The discussion continues on
Wuthering Heights,
but Hardin stays silent. As soon as we are dismissed, I gather my things and practically bolt to the door.

“Tessa!” I hear Hardin call behind me, but I just walk faster. Without Landon here I feel more vulnerable. When I reach the sidewalk, I feel a light touch on my arm. I know it’s him from the way my skin tingles.

“What!” I shout.

He takes a step back and holds out a notebook. “You dropped this.”

Relief and disappointment battle inside me. I wish this ache in my chest would go away. Instead of shrinking, it seems to get larger every moment of every day. I shouldn’t have admitted to myself that I love him—if I would have kept ignoring the truth, maybe it would hurt less.

“Oh, thanks,” I mumble and grab the notebook from him. His eyes catch mine and we just stare at one another until after a few seconds I remember that we are standing on a crowded sidewalk and I look around at everyone passing by us. Hardin shakes his hair out and pushes it back before he turns and walks away.

I HEAD TO MY CAR
and drive straight to Landon’s. I wasn’t going to go until five; it’s only three, but I can’t sit alone in my room. I really have gone mental since Hardin came into my life.

When I arrive, Karen answers the door with a huge smile and invites me in.

“It’s only me here right now. Dakota and Landon are at the store fetching a few things for me,” she says as she brings me into the kitchen.

“That’s okay, sorry for coming so early.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry. You can help me cook!” She hands me a
cutting board and a few onions and potatoes to chop and we talk about the weather and the upcoming winter.

“Tessa, did you still want to help me get the greenhouse going? It’s climate controlled, so we don’t have to worry about the winter.”

“Yes, of course! I would love to.”

“Great, maybe tomorrow? Next weekend I will be a
little busy
,” she jokes.

Her wedding. I’d almost forgotten. I try to smile back at her. “Yeah, I’d say so.” I wish I could’ve gotten Hardin to agree to go, but it was impossible then and it’s even more impossible now.

Karen puts the chicken in the oven and gathers plates and silverware so we can set the table. “Is Hardin coming to dinner tonight?” she asks as we start laying things out. She’s clearly trying to sound nonchalant, but I can see she’s a little nervous about the question.