After the Before (13 page)

Andrew walks me to my room,
“I’ll be back to get you at six.” He leans in and kisses me, being sloppy and gross, so I step away and walk inside my room.

“See you at six.” I dismiss him, not wanting to kiss him anymore.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Alex

Carlos came through with the party favors. The beer is doing its job and helping me forget about Jasmine. We make it down to the beach a
n hour before Angeline and her friends show.

Some of the locals told me about this place. They’re right, it’s awesome. Palm trees surround the entire cove
, and the sand glows white in the dropping sun. Our new hangout sits a few miles down shore from the hotel, then turns like a long L shape. In the bend sits a high waterfall that falls into a deep swimming hole.

There
is already a fire pit, with log seats already there. The fire is easy to start, not that we need if for the warmth, but for the light.

All I can think about is Jasmine out on her date with Andrew, him touching her, kissing her. I squeeze my eyelids closed tightly, trying to block out the images. I’m anxious
ly waiting for Angeline to arrive, to provide me with a much needed distraction because all I can see is golden hair, pale skin, and wide blue eyes, framed by long dark lashes. Just thinking of her excites me, and confuses me, giving me more reason to put those thoughts of her behind me, because tonight, I’m going to drown out these images and replace them with the spicy, and very willing, Angeline.

I’m a few beers in when they show up. The sun has dipped down past the horizon, sending everything into darkness
against the newly built fire. When Angeline walks up, her body illuminates next to the fire. She is smoking hot, enhanced by the alcohol in my system. She’s wearing very short jean shorts with frayed edges, and a barely there black bikini top, tied behind her back and neck.

“Hey, baby.” Angeline says as she leans down and kisses me. “I missed you.” She purrs. I can see her looking around for somewhere to sit.

“Come here.” I pull her on my lap, ready for the distractions to begin.

She kisses me again and this time I can clearly
smell the weed on her breath. “How long have you been here?” She asks me.

“About a
n hour.” I shrug.

She reaches into the very small piece of fabric covering her left breast and pulls out a joint. Smoking is normally not my thing, but I’ve never wanted to forget things so badly. I take a few drags when she
lights it up and hands it over to me.

We pass it to the others and grab a beer. The first one goes down fast
… so does the second and third. By that time, we decide to move the party to the water. Angeline strips down to a very nice, barely there, black bikini, and I watch her as she dances around in the water.

I’m feeling good
and buzzed; Jasmine’s evaded my mind all night… until now. I pull my phone out and stare at the clock… 10:40 pm. I wonder what she’s doing right now. I can’t help but hope she cancelled with stupid. Even though I hate his guts, she can choose who she wants to be with, even if it’s him. Wanting to have her for myself is selfish. I could never give her what she wants or deserves, so this shit has to end. But, on the other hand, I know all Andrew wants is to get into her pants. I’ve used all the same moves on potentials that he’s using on Jasmine, and I cannot allow him to take advantage of her, but I think she’s smart enough to see him for what he is, and if that’s what she chooses, more power to her.

Angeline’s friends brought a couple of blankets that I laid out to sit on. It pays off when my spicy date gets out of the water and saunters over to m
e. Straddling her wet body overtop of mine, she leans down and kisses me. Even though I’m drunk, I still remember I don’t like the sloppy way she kisses. I move my mouth from hers, and as planned, she begins to kiss my neck.

“I brought a few condoms, novio.” She pulls three from her shorts that are sitting next to us.

First, I want to get things straight. “You need to stop calling novio, muñeca. I’m not your man, and you know what this is.”

She sits up
to look me in the eyes. I see disappointment for a brief second before the drugs and alcohol take over her thinking. “That’s alright. I knew it was a long shot.”

I feel bad for hurting her
feelings, but come on. I’m on vacation, and I’m not looking for some long distance bullshit. I can’t date anyone, even if I wanted to. “Don’t be mad, mamacita.” I whisper against her ear, turning her back on easily.

She begins to kiss me again, moving her lips back over my body, removing my shirt as she goes
, and I take a quick second to look around. Carlos is hooking up with the chick he was trying to hit last night. The others are closer to the fire talking, ignoring us. My mind begins to wander, and I start to imagine Jasmine’s lips on mine, her tongue gliding across my skin, whispering my name. I want it so much that her name slips through my lips.

“Jasmine.” I moan, like each letter is pure bliss.

“What did you just call me?” Angeline’s face contorts in anger.

The realization hits me
of what I just did. I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up in my throat. “Sorry.” I tell her.

“Sorry? Sorry! That’s all you’re going to say? Who’s Jasmine?” Her voice is rising as she slips off my body.

Next to us, Carlos is laughing. “I told you man.” He says, and then returns to his girl.

“Angeline. I said I was sorry. If you want to leave
, I understand.” Standing is not worth the effort. I could really care less if she stays or goes.

“Who’s Jasmine?” She asks again.

“I’m not telling you.” It’s too personal. She doesn’t need to know who she is, and I just want to keep her to myself.

Angeline is tapping her bare foot in the sand. Her face is blazing with anger, but I can tell
, she’s not going anywhere… even though she knows I’m thinking about someone else.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jasmine

As promised, Andrew picks me up at six. Lucky
for me, Molly’s in the room too, and throws herself at him in front of me. In turn, he doesn’t completely reject her; he turns on his one hundred watt smile and reciprocates some of her flirtations.

I breathe out, releasing some of my annoyance. I could care less if they like each other, but tonight, and the rest of this week, Andrew is going to help me avoid and forget about Alex
, but now, I also see an opportunity to piss little Miss Molly off, too. I’m going to take care of two problems, and totally enjoy one of them.

“Andrew, are you ready?” He turns his attention back to me. His eyes are ravenous when he answers.

“Yes, I am.”

The bruises on my lower legs and outer arms are mostly healed, only shadows of yellow marks remain and easily covered with foundation.
Andrew’s attention to detail is almost nonexistent, so the slight blemishes will go undetected.

Tonight, I put my new swimsuit on under my very high cut shorts, the material is not quite cloth, but the kind that makes a swishing noise when you walk. They lace up and tie like a shoelace in front. The shirt I chose has sleeves, because some of the buckle marks that litter my back also mar my shoulders. My shirt is white and re
d, and it reads ‘
Aloha, Bitches!
’ In colorful letters on the front. I have to admit, it makes me laugh every time I see it. I decided to go with flip-flops tonight, since I figured we would end up somewhere on the beach.

“You look nice tonight.” Andrew says as we exit the hotel doors.

“Thank you. So where are we going tonight?” Despite the fact that I’m not into Andrew in the least bit, I am excited about tonight. I’ve never been out on a real date before… this will be my first.

“I can’t tell you that.” His smile is warm
, a promise of things to come.

We walk a few blocks before Andrew takes my hand in his, wrapping our fingers together.
It feels wrong, like it doesn’t belong. His palm is sweaty and moist, nothing I want to touch. In order to salvage the night, I don’t pull away.

The sun is on its way
down, ready to warm the other side of the planet. Hawaii is magic, no matter where you find yourself. The constant smell of the salty ocean is enough to keep me outside all day. It’s more than that though, the breeze feels different here, rejuvenating and calming; helping me forget all my problems… well, most of my problems.

Jace would have loved this.
Hawaii only makes me wish he were here more, something new to experience with him. All our firsts together, reminds me this is another first without him.

Just thinking about Jace raises my spirits, mak
ing me want to be wild and carefree. The words, ‘
Think of all the trouble we could get into here, Jazzy,’
rings through my head, as if Jace whispered them directly into my head, telling me to have fun and go crazy. If only for just this week, I’m going to forget all my cares; there is nothing I can do about them here, anyway. I need this break if I want to ever feel like myself again.

Andrew brings me to a small diner
, holding approximately ten people, at max. The small building is constructed like a hut, with long palm leaves covering the top to make the roof. The walls are sealed with mud to keep the cool air in. It’s so cute and charming.

There’s a table set up outside, covered with a white cloth, candles
, and a bottle of sparkling cider. The seats are metal, but have cushions to make them comfortable.

Andrew leads me to the table and pulls my chair out for me, guiding me with the tips of
his fingers. Once I’m seated, he takes his own seat across from me.

“This is beautiful. Thank you, Andrew.” I
’m being very sincere. This must have taken some planning on his part.

“I’m glad you like it.” He pulls out the menus from under our napkins. “What do you feel like eating tonight?”

My heart sinks slightly, wishing there was more between us; that this could be real. I pick up my menu and suck it up. “I’m not sure yet. You?”

He says nothing.

He continues to study his menu, only speaking again once he’s found what he wants. “I’m going with the ribs.”

Since we’ve arrived, my hunger has stayed dormant. I missed breakfast
, and only ate a few fries for lunch. You would think I’d be starving. None of the food on the menu sounds appetizing, so I decide on something light, and I order a salad. When nothing sounds good, a salad always seems to be a safe bet.

After we order our food and the server takes ou
r menus, I take a long drink of water. The sun is only a sliver on the horizon, burning fire on the waters’ surface hundreds of miles in the distance, and I think of how nice it would be to swim in that warm water.

“Here.” Andrew pours me a drink. “I also brought something to spice things up
… get us started early.” When I look at him with a puzzled expression, he holds out a flask.

“I’m not sure if that’s…” I begin to say, when Jace’s words ring through my mind again
, ‘
Think of all the trouble we could get into, Jazzy.’

“Alright.” I hold
out my glass eagerly. I’m going to try something different for a change.

“That’s the right attitude.” He pours a fair amount of clear liquid in my glass
, then he raises his own glass up to clank against mine, and I notice that his is only half full.

“Cheers
. To a fun and unforgettable night.”

I can see that h
e’s eager for a lot tonight, but I’m sorry to disappoint. I have every intention of messing around with him, because if I’m honest, I have no experience with this… I want to feel all there is to feel when it comes to intimacy, but there is no way I’m sleeping with someone who I don’t even like that way.

“Cheers.” I
clank my glass to his and down the entire drink.

Andrew chokes on his and laughs. “Thirsty
, Jasmine?”

I smile, trying to lighten my mood. “Very.” My voice is low and seductive
, and I receive a glorious smile for my effort.

“Want another?”

“Yes.” He fills my glass higher than the first. I mix in the cider and take another big swig, this time only drinking half.

“You feel alright?” Andrew asks, pulling off a partially concerned look
. I ignore his question and try to keep the conversation going.

“How was the rest of your day today? What
did you do?” His daily activities are of little interest to me, if at all, but the topic is a void filler until our food arrives. He goes on to tell me, but I find keeping up with his babble isn’t easy, as I begin to feel a slight buzz from the alcohol kicking in.

I finish off the rest of my drink
, and Andrew is there to provide me with the next. Once our food arrives, I’m feeling extremely buzzed. Remembering I’ve barely eaten anything, the alcohol is probably affecting me more because of it, so I decide to eat my salad, whether I want it or not. They provide fresh bread with dinner, and I eat as much of it as I possibly can.

By the time we finish eating
, I’m so full, I feel as if I’ll burst. I’m also beginning to slur my words.

“Someone’s already ahead in the party.” Andrew smiles as he helps me to my feet. “Did you have a good time?”

Feeling free and numb from the liquor, I smile up at him. “I had a great time. Thank you.” I slide my arms behind his head and lean up to meet his lips.

“Mmm. Maybe I should take you out more often if this is the thanks I get.”

His tongue slides in my mouth. Luckily, I’m drunk enough that it doesn’t bother me. We stand next to our table kissing until the server coughs, trying to get us to move so she can clean up our mess.

We break apart smiling and laughing. “Come on.” Andrew says, pulling me toward the hotel again.

“Where are we going now?” The hotel is the last place I want to go. I want to get out and have fun.

“Molly and a few of her friends are meeting a bunch of guys
at a bonfire, down at the beach behind our hotel.” Thinking about hanging out with Molly makes my head spin, but I’m feeling very agreeable at the moment.

“Sounds fun.” I take his hand tighter in mine as we make our way toward the beach behind our hotel.

When we arrive, things are in full swing already. People are dancing around the fire and laughing. I know some of the seniors, not personally, but they used to hang out with Jace. They’re nice enough, waving and saying hi to us as we pass.

Molly glares daggers at me from across the fire. She wants Andrew
, and she want him bad; I can tell by the ravenous look in her eyes. Being drunk is making me bold, because I find myself wanting to piss her off and make her miserable. I really want to mess with her, so I grab Andrew’s hand tighter as I pull him to a stop. He looks at me, puzzled over the sudden halt. My smile quirks up and he understands. He pulls me close, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arms around my body, pulling me against his chest when he kisses me. His lips are warm, but rough. I get the feeling that if no one was around, he would throw me down and have his way with me, right here.

When he pulls away, my face is flush. I scan for Molly, but she’s gone, tired of watching my show. Plenty of other people have taken her place though, watching us go at it. The guys smile and look a bit jealous, making me smile wider.

“You want to go swimming?” Andrew asks, pulling down on my shorts, caressing the skin under my waistband.

“Not right now
, but I would love another drink.”

“Your wish is my command.” He bows dramatically and pours more
from his flask into a plastic cup.

I chug it as fast as the other
’s before it. As the night goes on, I find myself laughing and dancing around the fire with everyone else. This crowd is not as bad as I thought they were.

“What are you doing?” Andrew laughs
as he stumbles into me, almost throwing me off balance. He’s been drinking, but not enough to make him stagger. I’ve had way more than him, and I think that he’s exaggerating his inebriated state.

“Being free!” I yell loudly, not caring what Andrew’s game is at this point.

He laughs again and lets his hands roam over my body. Standing behind me, he pulls my back to his chest, and asks, “You want to go down by the water so we can be alone?”

There’s no hesitation. I want to keep my mind free of worry. “Yeah.” I pull on his shirt to
follow me as I lead him down to the water’s edge.

His hands find my waist when we’re a few yards away from the water
. His fingers send a tingle over me, but it’s not the tingle of lust or desire… it’s almost a warning, that small voice of reason trying to fight through the fog. His hand slides up the back of my shirt and I squeeze my eyes closed, hoping he doesn’t notice the small marks left from the belt buckle, but I needn’t worry. He only cares about pawing me and what he thinks he’s about to get from me.

One hand dips down the back of my shorts and cups my bare ass
, while the other snakes its way up the front of my shirt, and under my swim top. I suck in a breath, surprised. My inner voices are debating on whether I should continue, a sense of wrongness coming over me. I rein in the urge to flee and push against him instead, egging him on. He pulls his hand out of my shorts and pulls up on my shirt. Since I have a swim top on, I figure it’s not a big deal, and let it happen.

Once he removes my shirt, he begins to undress himself, leaving only
his boxers. “You want to go for a swim?”

Coming down from the last drink makes getting
into the water the last thing on my mind, so instead, I sit in the sand.

“Not right now. You got
any more left in that flask?”

His smile is mischievous. “Just refilled it.” He hands it over, sitting next to me in the sand as I take a couple of big gulps. “Easy, Jasmine
. You’re going to make yourself sick.” He pulls the flask from me and replaces it with his lips.

I lean back against the cool sand,
and he takes it as an invitation. He lays himself on top of me and my hands begin to trace his body. His hands roam up and down, touching everywhere but below the waist. He reaches behind my neck and unclips my top, pulling it down to expose my breasts, and I hesitate. Do I want this to go this far? My body is screaming for this, but the logical, still functioning part of my brain is telling me this is wrong. Andrew’s not the one I want here with me, touching me like this. Trying to erase what I really want with someone else is just wrong.

Andrew’s mouth moves to my neck
, then down to the top of my breast. Goosebumps rise on my skin, and I am so caught up in this feeling, that I don’t really want him to stop. A fight is raging inside my head, and the alcohol isn’t helping with my thinking. When Andrew’s mouth finds my nipple, my insides jump with anticipation. It feels so good. His hand slides in the front of my shorts, and I panic. I know where he wants this to go, and even though I’m wasted, I know I can’t do this.