After the Before (24 page)

Chapter Forty-Four

Alex

The afternoon began with a swim with Brandy, Carlos, and his girl Lacey. Then we walked around the beach and now we’re drinking at the bar next to our hotel. I’m trying not to think about Jasmine and failing miserably. I try using Brandy, kissing her,
playing with her body just to distract me, but nothing is working; her angles are all wrong, her curves are off, and the taste of her lips… dull.

I’m tingling and warm from the booze we’ve been drinking
for the last couple of hours. One of my guys was able to get us an in with the bartender. Beer is a good tool for helping forget that Brandy is not who I really want to be with.

Placing my hand on the pillar next to her head, I lean into her, trying to wipe away the pictures that keep flashing behind my closed lids every time I blink. Jasmine smiling at me, Jasmine laying under me, Jasmine telling me she loves me.
Stop!

When I open my eyes, gravity pulls them to the left. The one and only thing they focus on is my angel, as if my thoughts conjured her up. She is dressed all in white
, her halter dress showing off her perky breasts and smooth curves, that, at this moment, I would die to get my hands on again.

Then I see a familiar face next to her, Guy, our surfing instructor.
That motherfucker. I knew he wanted her.
She meets my eyes and they’re calm, showing no emotion. I’m looking at her, trying to figure out if she doesn’t really care, or if she has her game face on.

Guy places his hand at the small of her back, splaying his fingers to get a better feel. I’m about to leave Brandy to kick Guy’s ass, when I realize I have no claim to her.
I left her.

By
some miracle, I stay grounded. Why would she bring him back here? Is she trying to get back at me? Or worse, did she bring him back here for something else? Would she be with someone else so soon? As much as I want to go to her, make all of this disappear and tell her I made a horrible mistake, I know the next move is to up the ante. I turn back, lean in without thinking, and kiss Brandy. My heart is breaking with each movement of my lips.

By the time I look back to where she was standing, she is no longer there, having walked off to our room with Guy. The only thing that keeps me planted is Brandy’s voice.

“You want to take this party to my room?” She pulls my hand, walking me in the direction of her room.

Silence is my answer, because if I mutter a word, the word would be
no.

She walks us down the first floor hallway, to the room that reads 127.

She inserts the key card and the door clicks the lock aside to let us enter.

“Here we are.” She sings.

I walk in with my ‘
I don’t give a fuck’
attitude. Right away, it’s obvious that Brandy wants to get down. By the time I reach the bed and turn around to find out where she is, half of her clothes are already off; shirt and skirt hit the floor with soft a poof on the shitty carpet. She’s standing across from me in a silk blue bra and panty set. Usually, I would be sporting an empalme but I’m not. She does nothing for me.

She saunters over to me with certainty. She’s not turned down often, if at all
; it’s plain to see in her confident strut. She’s not Jasmine. My heart begins to constrict in my chest, and my breathing becomes ragged. Brandy reads my reaction wrong, thinking that she is causing my response. I try talking myself into her, thinking it would be a good way to get Jasmine out of my system, but when I think about dirtying up our beautiful night together, I would rather die. Nothing could top what she shared with me.

I close my eyes tight, pretending the alcohol is overwhelming me. Brandy chooses not to notice, or care
, because she only has one thing on her mind; getting me undressed and in bed with her.

You would think that bringing Brandy to bed and taking her isn’t that difficult. The old Navarro would have had her undressed and having his way with her before we even fin
ished walking through the door. But Jasmine has ruined all that for me. There is no other female who could stand before her in my eyes

“Fuck.” I murmur under my breath. My conscious is battling itself.

Again, Brandy reads me wrong, something Jasmine never does. She knows me inside and out, almost better than I know myself. I’m still lost in my thoughts when Brady reaches the bed, knocking me back, and straddling me.

“You see something you like?” She asks.

Her words freeze me. They are the same words Jasmine asked last night.
I can’t do this. I can’t do this.             

“Brandy…” I begin, “I can’t do this.” I tell her.

              I push her to the side, onto the bed, and toss her clothes to her. She covers herself protectively, as if I’m going to take advantage of her. I shake my head and make a dash for the door.

She stays quiet as I open the door to leave. I’m grateful. When I’m in the hallway, I realize I have no idea where I’m going. Just because I couldn’t actually follow through with Brandy, doesn’t mean I can go back to my room. Jasmine’s still there…
and possibly not alone. It’s better for us to have this between us. She’s seen me with Brandy, and if I neglect to come back to the room tonight, she will think that I stayed with her, and that’s a better plan; one that will push her further away from me.

I head to Carlos’s room instead.

He lets me in after the third knock. He has kicked his roommate out for the evening and looks like he has already taken care of business, since Lacey, the girl he was messing with earlier, is dressing in the background and getting ready to leave.

“Sorry, man. Didn’t realize you had company.” I tell him, as I head toward the TV. Nothing like a little brain rot to make you forget your worries.

“No es ningun problema. I figured you would be stopping by sometime tonight.” Carlos walks the girl to the door, whispering his sweet nothings to her, and lets her out into the night. When he turns back to me, he asks, “You close the deal with Brandy?” He has a knowing smirk on his face. He already knows the answer, but he’s being a dick and asking anyway.

“No.” I answer, and flop on the bed, pulling the crook of my elbow over my eyes.

“She’s really messed you up, huh?” He asks. If it was anyone else, my fist would be in their face, but this is Carlos, he knows me.

I groan in response
, and he chuckles under his breath.

“Alright man, when you’re ready.” He clicks the light out. “I’m going to bed. You’re welcome to stay.” He finishes as he climbs into his bed.

“Thanks.” I say, even though I don’t need his permission. I’m the leader. But then, Carlos and I have a different relationship than the rest of my gang; he’s as close to blood as you get.

Chapter Forty-Five

Jasmine

I can, with one hundred percent certainty
, say that my last night in Hawaii totally sucked. The walk on the beach in the setting sun was the best part, but coming home to see Alex’s new mating style in motion was not what I wanted to witness. I stayed up most of the night, not wanting to see him, but hoping he would come back at the same time.

He never did.

Check out time is at one. We are supposed to have everything packed and down to the lobby before the shuttles to the airport arrive. Lucky for me, I still have my assigned seating next to Alex on the way home. I wanted to avoid speaking to him, or even looking at him. I just want to ignore him until we are home and away from each other.

I fold all of my laundry and place it neatly into my suitcase
, then I place the sundress in a plastic bag and toss it on top of the clean clothes. I decided to wear a soft and silky, blue sundress, the perfect outfit to leave Hawaii in. I gather the rest of my things slowly, not yet ready to return to reality. Sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at the lilies Alex bought for me only days ago, I begin to polish Jace’s pendent with my thumb.

When I return home, things are going back to the way they were before I left. My dad a vegetable, my
grandma in a home forty minutes away from me, and Mommy dearest, still one crazy bitch, one that I would love not to deal with again.

A single tear silently
rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away with the back of my hand, allowing myself one small weakness before having to pull my armor back into place. This is the only way I can survive living with Margret. I have to admit, I’m scared to return home. Either she won’t care that I’ve been gone and go on about her drunken self as usual, or she will have stored up all her pent up frustrations waiting for me to return. What a nice homecoming.

I check the bedside table clock
, and see that putting off leaving is no longer an option. I need to meet the rest of my class down in the lobby. I breath out loudly, blowing a couple of stray hairs out of my face and grab my luggage. I figure Alex will show up at some point, considering his luggage is still in the room.

I’m about to close the door behind me and decide to take one last look to keep the sacred memories fresh. Even though things ended this way between Alex and
me, I still loved them while they lasted. A part of me knew it would end this way. We don’t understand how to love people, to trust people anymore, so it was inevitable. The last thing I take in is the smell and beauty of the lilies left on the bedside table. I’m leaving all of those perfect memories in this room; nothing can come back with me… It ends here.

I opt to take the stairs, not wanting to run into anyone in the elevator. My bag turns sideways and can move on rollers, making it a lot easier to maneuver. I take my time, walking down each step slowly
; putting off the ride home, just as much as much as I’m looking forward to it. Finally reaching the bottom, I slam against the exit door that leads into the lobby. One step outside the lobby door and I am knocked over, tossing my small handbag across the aisle way.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” A very familiar male voice says, while reaching over and handing me my handbag.

I’m reluctant to move at first, but then when nothing else matters anymore, it’s really not a big deal. I regain my balance and take the bag from his outstretched hand.

“Thanks, Andrew.”

After he hands me my bag, his hand immediately moves to the back of his neck, where he begins to rub anxiously. “Hey, Jasmine…” He wants to say more, but looks startled.

“Yeah?” I’m a bit impatient. I just want to get the
hell out of here and off this stupid island!

“I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did the other night
, and I know that Alex had every right to punch me.” He laughs, which causes me laugh, looking at his still discolored face, which seems to have more marks than before.

“Yeah, you did kind of d
eserve it.”

He smiles again, “I know.”

“Thank you, Andrew.”

He nods and turns to walk in the direction of our gathered classmates. Alex is easy to spot. He’s staring directly at Andrew with a very pissed off look on his face. Just to piss him off that extra little bit, I reach out and touch Andrew’s arm.

“Hey, Andrew.” He turns and looks at me. “Thanks again. It means a lot that you apologized.”

“You’re more than welcome. I should have done it sooner, but I was scared of… well, you
know.” He points to his face.

I laugh. “Yeah, I know.”

He continues walking toward the group and within a minute, the crowd swallows him up. Alex’s eyes are still on him, tracking him, but then he breaks contact to find me. I look away as soon as he catches my eyes. I will not play this game with him. He has clearly already moved on. I’m sure his brown haired slut was a wonderful tool for him to wipe away my memory.

I move as close as I can to Mrs. Hubert. Hopefully, discouraging any conversation Alex may try to strike. Eventually, the shuttle busses come and pick us up. I make sure Alex gets on the second bus and I get on the third.

I make it to my seat on the plane before Alex. How? I have no clue since he arrived at the airport before me. I take the window seat and watch as workers go about their daily business. Two people are running luggage carts, others are running around to random areas, but all of them are wearing those funny orange earmuffs.

S
omeone shuffles in next to me, placing their bags in the above compartment, and takes their seat. My muscles tense. The electricity running through me, mixed with the smell of what is Alex Navarro, lets me know exactly who is there.

After a few moments, my breathing begins to return to normal. I still refuse to turn my face a fraction of an inch,
not wanting to catch even a glimpse of him out my peripheral vision.

I maintain my
position, legs crossed away from him, body leaning toward the wall, and my eyes plastered to anything out my window. I even hold that position until well after we take off. I’d just begun to wonder how long we’ve been in the air, when the flight attendant comes down the aisle, asking what we would like for dinner.

“Hello,” She begins in a way to cheery voice. “We have specials for your flight home, some of our local favorites
; teriyaki chicken and rice with a side of corn on the cob, or one of our best burgers, the flaming burger.”

The air is electric. I think even the attendant knows something is off. I couldn’t help the glance I give Alex. He is already staring at me, a small smirk playing on his full lips. It’s impossible to completely hide the smile the memory entices
, but I make sure to wipe it away just as quickly.

“I’ll take the teriyaki chicken
, please.”

“Alright.” The attendant says and smiles, looking expectantly to Alex.

His eyes are still on me; I can see him out of my peripheral vision, and they are almost pleading with me, but I don’t care. He’s the one who started this, now he’s going to have to swim in it, so I turn away, back to the window.

He breath
es out heavily, answering the attendant, “I’ll have the same thing,” declining the flaming burger.

I’m glad I’m facing the window, because the
smirk on my lips is hidden. Thinking about him never wanting a flaming burger again after the experience he had here makes me want to laugh. Hell, I doubt he would want to eat any burger, flaming or not, anytime soon.

A few minutes after the attendant leaves with our dinner orders, I notice I can see a
reflection in the window. If I tilt my head to a certain angle, and I can make out the people and objects behind me. Okay, maybe not so much of anything but Alex… sue me.

Not in a completely stalker kind of way, I watch him. He sits staring straight ahead; the look on his face tells me he’s deep in thought. He glances in my direction, tracing my body with his eyes before turning back around. Again, he glances at me, his mouth poised as if to speak. No words come
, so he closes his mouth, shaking his head as if he’d have no idea what to say even if he had said something. A few moments pass before he turns to me again, determination settling on his brow, when the attendant interrupts with our food.

“Here you go.” She chimes.

I turn and pull my tray down so she can sit my plate in front of me. After placing Alex’s in front of him, she grabs our drinks off the cart, placing bottled waters on both our trays.

“Thank you.” I tell her as she walks to the next isle.

“Mmm, this looks good.” Alex says.

I choose not to acknowledge him and eat my food instead, silently.