After the Before (21 page)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Alex

I wait about ten minutes after Jasmine leaves to follow her. Thinking about anything or anyone else while I’m with her is unfeasible. She’s all I can think about when she’s gone. I’m trying not to think about our end date, but it’s hard knowing I’m going to have to give up what I have, what
we
have.

Weaving my way down the halls, out
into the front lobby, and around the pool area, is where I observe Carlos hitting on chicks again, but my mind is floating with thoughts of Jasmine. He gives me an empathetic nod, understanding each other without having to speak. The girl he is chatting up looks in my direction, and a seductive smile crosses her lips and she elbows the friend next to her. Once her friend sees me, their facial features are identical.

I’m
not really sure when things changed for me. Usually, I would take advantage of what these smiling, half-naked chicas have to offer, but now, it’s only annoying. I would rather them divert their eyes.

I wish Jasmine were here so they could see that I have
the most beautiful girl and that’s all I need, but no one will know about our relationship, except Carlos and a few members of my gang.

Slowing down is not an option and I avoid saying hi. All I can think about is getting back to her.
I’ve been noticing that I begin to panic if I’m away from her for too long. Not only do I miss her, but I also worry something will happen to her. She could run into Andrew again, or someone worse.

My pace increases exponentially until I come up on the little store we agreed to meet at and there she is, sitting on a bench, face to the sky
, and her hair flowing behind her in the breeze. The sun caresses her, making her hair and skin shine like nothing I have ever seen before. The sight of her steals my breath. I stop in my tracks just to stare, remembering, and storing everything about her. The way she always closes her eyes when she’s enjoying the sun, the small secret smile on her lips when she’s daydreaming. Her light vanilla skin glows under the sun’s rays, the multi-color strands of hair flow behind her like waves of silk on a breeze, making her perfect… my perfect. I know I’ll never find another girl like her, but I also know there will never
be
another girl like her… not for me.

She seems to sense me after a few moments and looks directly at me. The expression on her face makes me wonder if she can read minds,
because I can see that she gets me with only one look. Soon that beautiful smile stretches across her lips and she stands, waiting for me to finish closing the distance between us.

I hesitate for a moment, still staring
at her, completely awestruck. When I finally blink, reality comes back. I move toward her in a hurry, as if she’ll disappear if I wait another second. When I reach her, I take her in my arms, not caring who our audience is, and I kiss her hard, desperately. She lets me sink in, not seeming to care about our surroundings, either.

After a
moment, she steps back, ending the kiss far too soon for my liking. My fingers are desperate to keep touching her, and she looks at me with her knowing eyes. “Are you alright, Alex?”

“I am now.” I tell her, not going into detail
; showing weakness is not an option. Her life and her father’s life are more important than how I feel. Her knowing eyes are searching my face. ‘
She knows already,’
I think.

To prove my point
, she says, “Everything will be alright. Things will work themselves out.” She puts her palm to my cheek and cradles me. I lean helplessly into it, a whimper almost escaping my lips, but I hold back.
I am such a chick right now!
I try to speak around the gigantic lump that forms in my throat, but I think she sees it. “Don’t worry now.” Her voice is soft, just above a whisper. “Let’s enjoy today and deal with everything else when we come to it. Alright?” Her eyes turn glittery in the sun, trying to hold back her own tears.

I nod. It’s
all I can do to keep it together.

“So
,” she says in her fake, cheery, voice, “What is it you have planned for us today?” Watching her try to be brave makes me want to help her through this.

I clear my throat and say, “You’ll find out soon enough.” I smile a real smile. I want this to be a surprise
, because I know she’s going to love it.

I laugh and so does she. Just like that, we’re back to normal, pushing past the emotions. I take her hand and lead the way to the eatery we picked out of the brochure.

After lunch, she turns to me. “Are you going to tell me what we’re doing now?”

“Nope.”

“You’re so unfair.” She says, but I can tell she likes the suspense.

“Come on. We’re supposed to be there in thirty minutes
, and I think it’ll take that long to walk there.” I take her hand again; I love the texture of her skin on mine, the more the better.

We walk in silence most of the way, both enjoying our surroundings and each other’s company. She’s the only girl I know that can be content without speaking for more than a minute.

I pull her toward the beaches edge and a guy comes over to us. Jasmine’s unsure, so she looks from me to the other bloke and back to me again. I’m smiling at her confusion. “Are you Alex?” He asks in a Hawaiian accent.

“Yes.” I look him up and down. He’s definitely a local. His skin is tan, dark hair, the Hawaiian features; his bod
y is built, his stomach resembling a washboard. He makes me look out of shape, and I am nowhere near out of shape.

“What is this?” Jasmine leans intimately into me, almost as if she is making sure this person knows she is mine. I wrap my arm around her waist, not minding the proximity at all.

Now I feel like a giddy schoolgirl. “This, my lady, is surfing lessons.”

She slaps my chest. “You didn’t?” She says, but
she is so excited, and she is literally jumping up and down, clapping like a little girl.

She makes me laugh, my smile so wide it hurts my cheeks. “Yes. I thought you would like to take something back with you. Something you can never lose track of
… a memory.”

Her eyes are considerate. She leans in close and whispers in my ear, “I love it
. It is absolutely perfect; thank you.”

I turn my face into her and smell her freshly washed hair, kissing her on the temple. “I knew you’d love it.”

Her response is a slow smile.

“Alright.” I say turning back to the instructor. “Let’s get this party started.”

The guy smiles and walks us toward the surfboards he brought with him. Jasmine is still so full of energy; she’s dancing and skipping to our location a few feet ahead of me. I enjoy watching her like this, with not a care in the world. Jace would be proud of her. He would have loved surfing too, so would Marisol for that matter. We were all like four peas in a pod, always participating in the same activities and enjoying doing it together.

The instructor explains stances, balancing, and safety
, in case we fell off. Before we know it, we are lifting our boards and heading toward the warm ocean. The instructor, who introduced himself as Guy, shows us how to paddle. We’re sitting about fifty yards out on the azure ocean, enjoying the sun’s rays. I can tell Jasmine is having the time of her life, her smile hasn’t left her face since she found out what we were doing. Her legs are dangling in the water over the edge of the surfboard; she’s in her element here. She has always loved water, most of all, the ocean.

“Alright.” Guy says, “Who wants the first one?”

“I do!” Jasmine shouts, before I can get a word out.

I smile, watching her paddle out with Guy. He is explaining what to do again as they both s
it up on the board as the wave approaches. Guy makes sure there is room between the two of them as they stand when the wave comes up from underneath.

Jasmine
’s doing an awesome job for her first time. She’s a tad wobbly, but manages to stay up, getting comfortable with her balancing. Her smile is like heaven.

She flies past me and waves, losing her balance in the process and falls, the ocean swallowing her body whole. Panic courses through me
; I wasn’t expecting to have this kind of reaction. I take a deep breath as she breaks the surface, laughing and wiping water out of her face.

“That was AWESOME!” She yells, punching her fist in the air. “You
’re next.” She’s just as excited for me to have a turn as she was for herself.

“Alright.” I paddle out next to where Guy sits on his board waiting.

Just like any juvenile young man, I feel the need to impress her for some reason. My heart is pounding, I have to admit, and I am pretty stoked about riding a wave. I wait for a big one to come, ignoring Guy’s warning about taking one too big. I hop up on my board, and realize the balancing looks easier than it actually is. I make it only a few feet before I biff it into the wave I’m riding. A rush of elation flows through me, even though I just wiped out, surfing is awesome. As soon as I break the surface, I search for Jasmine. I find her paddling over to me, her fat happy smile still plastered to her face.

“See?”

“I know, right.” I’m smiling just as wide now.

“This is the best thing that you could have planned for us. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. It’s my pleasure.”

Guy comes up next to us, breaking our moment. “You guys are already getting the hang of this. Good job.” He’s such a pretty boy, but he’s actually really nice.

“Thanks, man.” I tell him. “Is there a way we can keep the boards out longer?”

“Sure. It’s twenty an hour for both boards. After I make sure you all can make it out here on your own, I can leave you to it.” I see him staring at Jasmine, looking at her soaking wet clothing, trying to see underneath with x-ray eyes.

‘So, maybe he’s not as cool as I thought.’

I glare at him, making sure he meets my eyes, letting him know it
’s not going to happen, and if he keeps staring at her like that, the sharks might start circling us from all the blood I will beat out of him.

He gets the hint. “Alright.” He stumbles around the word, clearing his throat before he goes on. “
Let’s do a couple more passes and then I will let you two at it.”

“Sounds good.” I tell him, my tone still hard.

“I can’t wait.” Jasmine says, and is already paddling past me out to the next wave.

I laugh and follow her out. Saddling up next to her, I expect her to take a turn first
, and I’m right. She paddles out like a pro and hops up as if she’s done this for years. I watch as she moves her body to balance, undulating while standing; she rides the wave all the way in. She’s doing a perfect job already.

I take the next wave and follow her, falling about halfway in. I can’t seem to get it down
right. I’ll have to ask Jasmine how she moves her body to keep her upright. I wouldn’t mind studying her to get it right, either. I’m able to stand when I break the surface of the water, and Jasmine is laughing so hard, that I don’t know if the droplets on her face are tears or water.

“
That
was hilarious.” She wipes what I am guessing is laughing tears from her eyes.

“It’s not that funny.” I tell her in a warning tone, but my voice cracks and I smile at her.

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

I jump at her. She squeals and runs away from me. We splash through the water for a while, me chasing her, before she lets me catch her.

“I guess you’ll just have to show me what you do with your body to stay up on that board so well.”

“Mmm. I think I can handle that.” She presses her soaking wet body against my bare chest and kisses me.

I moan against her lips and pull her closer. When our hips meet, I know she can feel just how much I am appreciating her kisses. This moment, standing in the most beautiful ocean, the most beautiful place I’ve ever been, with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, I know what the feeling is that’s storming through my insides and tying them in knots.
I love her.
I’m passionately, and without a doubt, in love with her. The thought makes my heart soar and sag all at the same time. I keep this epiphany to myself, because there is no reason to tell her how I feel when we are going to separate in soon.

“Come on.” I pull away. “Let’s go again.”

She smiles and follows me out.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jasmine

We surf all day, only coming out of the water when the sun begins to set on the horizon. I tuck my surfboard under my arm and climb out of the water, Alex a couple of feet behind me. I turn to him, walking backwards as his shining wet body climbs out of the ocean. He shakes his head,
and water drips down his face and off his eyelashes. His muscles move under his skin, doing their own dance with each movement. He’s gorgeous.

“Thank you for today. This was amazing.”

“As I said before, it’s my pleasure.” He leans over the surfboard under his arm, and kisses my cheek.

We walk up to the surf shop on the boardwalk and return the boards. Our total is over a hundred dollars, but the woman at the counter takes fifty percent off because we are on our senior trip. Alex already prepaid for the lesson and some extra surf time, so he actually received a few bucks back.

“You want to go out for dinner?” I can tell his mind is focusing elsewhere, but mentioning it will only bring our day down. I’m sure I already know what he’s thinking about, and I really want to avoid
that
conversation.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

We change back into our street clothes and head out, walking down the boardwalk to find a place to eat. We end up stopping at a nice Italian place. Pasta sounds extremely good at the moment.

Once we’re s
eated, I can sense the tension, knowing that we are both dreading what is to come, our last day together. We sit most of the way through dinner without a word, until Alex reaches under the table and takes my hand. He twines our fingers together, almost desperately holding on to me. I squeeze back, trying to reassure us both that this is what has to happen.

After we pay, we walk back to our room as slowly as possible, enjoying the night air. It’s still early
for us, 10:40 pm, but nothing else sounds nice, except holding onto Alex. Tomorrow will be our last day together and then we’ll have to leave the next morning, getting back on that damn plane and head home to mommy dearest. The thought of seeing her again repulses me. Without Alex, the dread is heavy, threatening to drag me down. It’s times like these I miss Jace the most. He would know what to do. However, the plan I have for Alex tonight, I wouldn’t want Jace to be a part of, and it would gross him out.

A laugh escapes. Alex turns his head and looks at me with a small smile playing on his lips. He enjoys the moment, not asking why I’m laughing
, so I don’t feel a need to offer him a reason. He’ll find out soon enough.

When we’re close enough, we split. I practically run back to the room and I think Alex might have done the same thing, because he shows up about a minute after I do, breathless. When he walks into the room, his skin
is flushed. I want to drag him to the floor and have my way with him…
Follow the plan, Jasmine,
I tell myself. It’s a plan that I made in the two minutes it took me to reach the bedroom. I have every intention of seducing Alex, and losing my virginity to him… Tonight. There is no going back. He can tell me no and give me all the excuses he wants, but deep down, I can feel how right it is; I don’t want anyone but Alex to be my first. I know I will lose him once we leave this place, but I will always have this perfect memory of us, and no one, not even Margret can take that away from me, no matter what happens.

He kisses me as I’m passing him to
get to the restroom, my plan beginning now. I slink out of my clothes quietly and into one of the hotels soft lush robes, and nothing but my birthday suit underneath. Would he be able to resist me now? I grin seductively to myself in the mirror. I take my hair down and brush it. Fluffing it with my fingers and pinching my cheeks. I take a deep breath and walk out to greet Alex.

The lights are already off, the TV the only illumination left in the room. He’s stripping down to his
briefs, about to get into bed when he notices me. He smiles, unaware that I have nothing on under this robe. How should I approach this? How do you seduce someone who is trying so hard
not
to be seduces? Come on to him directly, or play it slow?

‘
Oh, who am I kidding? I have no idea what I’m doing.’

Alex knows this
, and he likes me for who I am, lack of experience and all.

Alex has tucked himself safely into bed, watching TV, the sheet only halfway over his thigh. The only thing he has left to take off
are his briefs. I’m hesitant to amble towards him and it only takes a few seconds for him to figure out I haven’t moved.

“Ja
s, what are you doing?” He leans up on an elbow and faces me.

“Nothing.” I say rather passively
, but my heart is fluttering like wings.

I walk over to the bed and he leans back, expecting me to take my robe off and climb into bed…with pajamas on. I take off my robe, but wait to climb into bed, at least not right away. I stand until he notices me next to the bed,
completely naked.

I smirk at the double take Alex does when he notices me standing bare before him. He turned, expecting me to climb in
to bed, not predicting anything. When he looked at me, it took him a second to realize I was naked and turn back to me. The movement is so rapid; I’m surprised he doesn’t pass out from whiplash.

A giggle slips through; the way he looks at me makes me feel like jello. “You see something you like?” I have no idea where I am getting this boldness.

His eyes are large, and remind me of a raccoon, chocolate and small flecks of gold staring back at me. His jaw is slack; lips set in a silent O. He blinks hard and shakes his head, some of the daze clearing his eyes.

“Ja
s.” He says then pauses, pulls the sheet up tighter to his chest, as if he’s hiding his body. My heart sinks slightly. I read him wrong, he doesn’t want me.

He sees the hurt in my eyes. “Ja
s, we don’t have to. I’m okay with just being here with you.”

“I know
you are, but I want more; I want to be with you, Alex.” My shyness is beginning to show through in my stance.

He
must see what it’s taking for me to stand like this in front of him, trying to give myself to him, because his eyes soften, not wanting to reject me in any way. “We can’t…” I can see he’s weakening, unable to finish a sentence.

I take it as a sign that I should move closer to him. I pull the covers back, revealing cool white sheets. “Please.”

He lowers his gaze for only a second, before he reaches out to take my hand. I wrap my fingers around his and he pulls me to him. “Come here, querida.”

He lays me flat on the bed, not hiding his intentions any longer; I can see the hunger in his stare, mixed with worry. “I want this, Alex
. Let me have this one perfect memory of us before we go our separate ways. I want my first to be you, and only you. Please understand this.”

He smiles. “Si, now kiss me.”