After the Before (7 page)

Chapter thirteen

Jasmine

I’ve been dreading
biology all day, knowing I’ll have to face Alex. I’m feeling stupid for even showing up to school like this in the first place, but I cannot let the opportunity of early graduation pass me by. This situation just makes it even more important for me to get it done, and get out of her life.

Andrew believed me when I told him I fell down my stairs
, and soon, so did everyone else; at least, that’s what I’m hoping. All day long, Andrew’ has met me after each class to carry my books to the next. I have to admit it is sweet of him; he’s beginning to grow on me.

As we approach
the last class of the day, Andrew’s fingers graze my right forearm, sliding down into my hand. My steps falter for a moment, then I glance at him. His light brown hair hangs low in his blue eyes, and he’s wearing a crooked smile on his lips that melts a little piece of me. He’s tall, strong, and funny. Who wouldn’t want to be with him?

I hold his hand until we’re a few paces from the doorway. When I let go, the air fills with one of those awkward silences
as I stand next to the open door, crimson tinting my cheeks.

“Well, that wasn’t too weird.” Andrew says, causing us both to laugh.

“I’m sorry. I’m not good with any of this…” I leave the sentence hanging in the air, but he nods his head all the same, signaling he understands.

“Don’t worry about it.” He hands me my books. “I’ll see you after class, okay?”

“Okay.” I say, completely forgetting that I made plans with Alex.

Well, th
at is until I turn to walk into class and find him watching me. He is too perceptive, and I know that he will see right through my lie; see through all the rumors floating around school, and it scares me to death that he will figure out the truth − that my mother beat me last night, just for seeing him.

I walk to my seat, not able to meet his gaze.
Sitting my books down, I try to take a breath to relax, but it doesn’t work; I can sense his eyes on me, looking over every mark on my skin.

My eyes stay downcast, looking at the
desktop when Alex asks, “What happened to you?” His voice is shaking with anger, worry, and something that has not revealed itself before… concern?

I open my mouth to say something, but the bell rings,
giving me an excuse to defer the question. The teacher calls our attention toward the front of the class, so I concentrate on her and keep my mouth closed, not that I know what to say to him, anyway. If I speak, I will tell him the truth, everything about how my mother treats me, and now, beats me. Letting that secret out is unfathomable. To keep people at bay, you have to push them away − keep a shield around your heart − and right now, just the way Alex is looking at me, mine is beginning to crumble. It’s hard to not have someone to help, or even talk to about something like this.

Lucky for me, the teacher buys me an entire hour by droning on about the plants we are
looking for; anything that will help us identify them.

I spend my hour vigorously writing down every word that comes out of her mouth
, never giving him a chance to speak again. I try pretending that my thoughts are too occupied to pay any attention to him.

Once t
he bell rings, my pencil stops and the teacher begins dismissing us. I pack up, still trying to avoid eye contact with Alex, but he refuses to wait any longer.

“Are you done trying to avoid my question?”

“Can we not talk about it?” I whisper.

He steps into me
and growls, “No. We will talk about it. You need to tell me what the hell happened to you.” His voice is beginning to raise, just not enough for others to notice… yet.

As I look at him, I
can actually see the concern he has for me. Nevertheless, explaining to him about my mom, about what happened last night, is not going to happen… it just can’t.

Again
, I luck out. Andrew walks over and places himself between us, pulling me behind him, as if Alex would ever hurt me. The sight of Andrew only increases the fuel in Alex’s fire. His face is blazing with anger.

“Back off, Navarro.” Andrew warns. He must have a death wish.

“You do this to her?”

“What? No, dude, she fell down her stairs.” By the look on Alex’s face
, he’s not buying it.

Alex’s eyes flick to
me, “No. Fucking. Way.”

“Yes, fucking way. That’s what she said
… ask her.”

I look at Alex and nod.

“You’re lying.” He says bluntly.

“I think you need to mind your own business, Alex. Jasmine is not any of your concern.” Andrew bumps Alex’s chest with his own.

About this time, I would expect Alex to punch Andrew in the face, but to my surprise, he takes a deep breath and steps back.

“Are you still coming with me after school?” Alex looks at me
, Andrew no longer existing.

“No, she’s not going anywhere with you.” Andrew answers for me before I can get a word
out.

“Actually,
I
am
going with Alex. I forgot to tell you, but we’re working on our project together.” Who does Andrew think he is? No one speaks for me, but me, so I begin to pick up my books and walk out with Alex when Andrew speaks again.

“
I’m sorry, Jasmine. I didn’t mean to speak for you. Can I call you later?” At least he seems smart enough to know exactly what pissed me off, and my anger defuses.

“Sure.” I smile at him
, knowing that it will piss Alex off. How horrible am I? “Thanks for today.”             

“You
’re welcome. I’ll call you later.” He leans in to kiss me on the cheek.

When I glance at Alex, his
mouth is in a thin, hard line, glaring daggers at Andrew as he walks out of the classroom. When Andrew is gone, Alex walks to the door, but turns to look at me. I thought he would ask about Andrew, but he only says, “You ready?”

I’m relieved
, and disappointed at the same time. I like Andrew, but deep down it’s not the butterflies’ kind of feeling that I get from just looking at Alex. It’s a problem, but I’m in no hurry for any type of relationship right now, it’s the last thing I need.

When I answer, my voice
is calm. “Yeah.”

We are almost to the river when Alex breaks the silence. “You gonna stop this act of yours and tell me what really happened to you?” His voice has lost its hardness, sounding like the old Alex.

“Maybe someday
, just not today. It’s not Andrew, and it’s not anyone you need to worry about.” I walk ahead of him, trying to end the conversation.

He reaches out and catches my upper arm, careful
ly, and pulls me close. “Anyone who did this to you is someone I’m worried about.” I pull away and he lets me go. 

We continue to walk until I spot one of the plants on our list. “Hey, this is one of them.” I walk over to it and inspect the bunch of blue flowers, comparing them to my notes. “You see
, Camas. The blue flowers at the top are often shaped like a cone, and found in damp lowlands. When dug up, it reveals white bulbs that can be prepared like potatoes after washing off the dirt.” I smile at him.

“Sounds good. Should we pick one to take home? We could write down all the plants we find, what their food prep would entail, and start
making up our menu.”

“Good idea.” I pluck out one of the plants
and hold it up. It resembles an onion, so let’s hope it tastes better.

“What’s going on with you and that
wedo, Andrew?”

“Why?”

He shrugs, “Just curious.”

“You don’t like him much, do you?”

“No.” The single word sounds like a growl.

“Why?” As far as
I know, Alex never knew Andrew before the crash. Had they had some altercation since then?

He leaves the questions unanswered
, and instead, stands next to me and asks, “What’s this one?”

I have an inkling he already knows the answer to his question
, but I state my thoughts, describing the plant to him. “It’s an Ostrich Fern, also known as fiddleheads… it can grow up to 5 feet. They have coiled tentacles, kind of like an octopus, with a bunched center. If you collect the top coils and scrape away any brown patches, you can steam or fry them with butter.”

“I think you picked a very good spot for edible foods. How many other people picked this area?” He’s running the fern leaves through his fingers before plucking one off to add to our collection of plants.

“No one from our class. The other places are located closer to the mall, cinema, or other highly trafficked areas. I liked the idea of being away from people, and I figured you would too. I thought this would be nice.” I gesture to our surroundings. You can hear a river close by, the air smells clean, and it’s peaceful.

He smiles at me, a slow curling of
his lips. “You guessed right.”

A slow warmth spreads up my neck and across my cheeks at the way his words caress my skin.
I feel like an idiot, so I look down and stare at my notes.

An awkward silence fills the air between us before he steps closer to me and grabs my tablet. “What else are we looking for? Anything we already know?”
He asks, defusing the situation.

“Yeah, there are dandelions and blackberries. Even you should be able to figure out what those are.” I joke.

His smile lights up his entire face and his eyes come alive. “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” He chuckles.

“You do know what they are
, right?” I ask him. ‘
I’m
Flirting! Are you kidding me? What am I doing?’

“For your information
… yes, I do know what they are. I also know how to identify the rest of them. Put that thing away and I’ll show you.” He challenges.

“Fine, be my guest.” I gesture with my hand for him to proceed.

As it turns out, he knows each and every plant on my list. What the plants look like, where to find them, how we should cook them. He also tells me the name of several other plants in the area that are not edible.

“How do you know all this?”

“I needed somewhere to go after the accident to blow off steam, so I came here, of all places. I brought books with me, and ended up learning more than I thought.”

I
don’t want to talk about this right now, so I try to lighten the mood. “I guess that’s a plus for us then.” To my relief, he laughs.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

We walk back to school, carrying our edible plants with us. Alex walks with me over to my car.

“I was going to write down how to use these
for cooking, but it seems like you already know what to do. I think we are almost done with our project after the first day.”

“That’s too bad.” Alex says, but then turns to focus on the other end of the parking lot
.

“So
, tomorrow… you want to get together again and go over some kind of menu?”

“Cant.” No elaborating,
just one word.

“Alright.” I say, my voice sounding slightly broken.

I toss the plants into my car, ready to get away from this feeling of rejection, when Alex speaks…

Chapter Fourteen

Alex

“Jasmine, wait.”

Why can’t I just let her go?

The look of disappointment on her face when I told her I was busy twists at my heart. Is she upset because we can’t finish the project tomorrow, or
is it because she wants to spend more time with me?

Not wanting to put myself too far out there
, I say, “I’m busy after school, but we could get together tomorrow night if you want.” I know mi Madre will be at work.

She smiles and says,
“Alright,” sounding more chipper. “I can probably get away then.”

My
heart races when she confirms she’ll come. The only thing that replays in my mind is that she is coming back to my house, when I know mi Madre will be at work. The only reason I bring girls home is to get one thing from them. I have never had a girl at my home for just a visit… hell, I’ve never wanted to have a girl, or anyone there for any kind of visit. Just the thought of being alone with Jasmine excites me like nothing else does.

“Remember to call me before you get into the neighborhood
so I can meet you outside. I don’t want you getting out of your car alone.”

“Have a nice night, Alex
… and thank you for being a good sport about this.” She points to the plants in her car. “It means a lot.”

I know school is important to her
. She’s excited about graduating early, but it feels like there is more to it.

I watch her drive away and then head home.
Mi Madre has the day off work and is probably cooking up a mean Mexican dinner. Envisioning her cooking causes my stomach to growl, and then I remember I threw away half of my lunch to drop the subject of Jasmine. As soon as I arrive home and walk through the door, the sweet smell of mole sauce invades my sinuses. Underneath that is the chicken, rice, and beans.

“Hey Ma,
soy casero.”

“Alejandro. C
ómo estuvo tu día?” She kisses my forehead as I sit down at the table.

“Fine
. How was your day?” I ask through the first bite of food. The flavors explode on my tongue.

She appraises me with a knowing look, one that tells me she knows I’m not telling her
something. “Nothing special about today you want to talk about?” She hints.

“No. Por que?” I continue to eat. I have
been staying out of trouble, so there’s nothing she can bust me on.

“No? So the rumor about you hanging out with Jasmine after school isn’t true?” Her eyebrow cocks up, daring me to lie to her. She really needs to quit listening to her customers conversations
, especially since most of those customers are girls from my school.

I choke on my food and cough. “Que?”

“Answer me, Alejandro.”

“Si, it’s true. Why does it matter?” I’m getting defensive before she even judges the situation.

“I’m not so sure it’s a good idea. You know how her mother is. She refuses to have anything to do with this family. If she finds out Jasmine is hanging out with you, who knows what she’ll do. I told you about the hospital.”

“I know
, but we’re partners in biology. We have a project and Jasmine wants to get it done before the senior trip. She can graduate four months early if she gets all the required work done.” I sound proud, like I’m bragging about her. I realize how I sound, so I drop my eyes to my food.

Mi
Madre is a like a hawk, seeing everything. “Alejo, I just want you to be safe.”

I laugh. “Kind of late for that, huh, ma?
I would think you would be more worried about me being in a gang than hanging out with my biology partner.” I slam my fork down on the table and stand up so fast, that my chair skids back and almost topples over. I’m pissed off. Mi Madre has made me vulnerable by opening up to her about Jasmine, so I put my asshole face back on − whatever I can do to keep my feelings hidden.              

“Alejandro! De dónde sacas de hablar a mí de esa manera?” She is yelling at me, asking where I get off speaking to her in that manner
, and a string of other choice Spanish words.

“Ma.” I say quietly, hoping to get her attention. “Ma!” I yell, when that fails to work. She stops and looks at me. “Lo siento. I don’t want to fight with you. Thank you for dinner
, but now I’m going to do the rest of my homework.”

I finished my homework in school, so instead
, I decide to write down different dishes Jasmine and I can use for the extra credit part of our assignment.

Once I’m calm and thinking about our dinner conversation, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if Jasmine’s mother found out we were associating with one another for school. I know how strained their relationship was before, but would her mother ever physically hurt her? I won’t push Jasmine into confiding in me if she feels that she doesn’t want to, but I wonder what is really going on in that house now that Jace isn’t there to protect her.