After The One (The One Series Duet) (17 page)

“Oh thank God,” I breathed before he could say another word. I put my hand to my chest. “I’ve been trying to push the fear down because you were so ready. I thought any doubts or fears I had made me a bad mother.” I sat on the bed and grabbed my pillow, hugging it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

His breathing seemed to return to normal as he watched me from the other side of the room. “Because the moment the test said you were pregnant you freaked the fuck out.” He walked back to the bed and sat beside me. “I’m your man. I’m supposed to be here for you and protect you. If I told you I was scared…” He shrugged with a shake of the head. “I couldn’t afford to be scared because I saw in your eyes that you were terrified. The weekend you took the pregnancy test, you didn’t want to talk about it…and then you spent the next week obsessing over it.”

I let my head fall into the pillow that was clutched to my chest. My muffled groan was loud and mournful.

I thought I was doing a better job of keeping it together. I should’ve known he could see through me and because he saw me internally freaking out, he didn’t feel like he could tell me his fears.

Julian wrapped his hand around my wrists and then pulled me close to him, tossing the pillow to the side. “Hey, come here.”

I crawled into the space between his legs. “I’m scared of how huge this is, but more than that, I’m scared of how much I’d be willing to sacrifice for our family. I freaked out about the whole work comment because for the last two weeks, being your wife and the mother of our baby has been the only thing I can think about. The only time I thought about work was in relation to the contracts for the wedding.” I put my head on his shoulder. “I love being a lawyer, but being your wife and the mother of our child are so much more important to me. And that scares me because I don’t want to lose being an attorney because it’s one of the things that has defined me my entire life.”

“I understand.” His arms tightened around me and I melted into him. Julian’s mouth was against the shell of my ear as he spoke. “I was going to give up my tour for you and the baby and the moment the words came out of my mouth, I panicked.”

My eyebrows flew up. “You did?”

“Hell yeah!” He kissed my neck and then moved his head, forcing us to make eye contact again. “I didn’t even think about it before the words just came out, and I meant it when I said it. It was automatic. I don’t know how to explain it, but giving up the tour for you, for us, was my only option and I was ready to do it. But then, when you told me I couldn’t bail on the tour because the contracts were already in place, I felt two things. I felt relief. I hate to say it, but I was relieved that I didn’t have to give up the tour. I also felt thankful that I fell in love with a strong woman.”

“Really?” I looked at him in awe, a deeper, stronger appreciation for him resonating in my spirit. “That makes me feel so much better because when I saw your willingness to give up the tour to be here for me, I felt like a selfishly horrible mother for wondering how our careers would be affected and thinking about how I didn’t want to derail my plans.” I shook my head slowly. “Our lives are going to change, our priorities are going to change and that’s scary. I love that you’re so strong. I love that you take such good care of me. But if you’re scared too, you can always talk to me about it. We will just be scared together and we’ll get through it, together, because that’s what marriage is all about: having that one person that will always have your back.”

The corners of his mouth turned upward, a smirk developing. “Our lives are changing. Our priorities are changing.”

I nodded. “And I don’t know what to expect. I’m scared of the unknown, but the only thing I know for certain is how much I love you, how much I want this life with you and how much I want to create this family with you. That scares me because if I had to choose between all of that and my career, I’d choose you and our family every single time. I just don’t want to lose me because I’m so consumed in us.”

“I know what you mean. My schedule will change and my commitments outside of L.A. will decrease, but for me to do what I do, I have to meet artists where they are. I need to tour to promote albums. I need to be mobile.” Bringing his forehead to mine, he stared into my eyes, peering into the depths of my soul. “But, little by little, it won’t matter, because my entire world will center on you. And that’s scary because if I don’t create sounds, if I don’t write lyrics, if I don’t make music, I’m not me.”

My heart hurt at the thought of that. “You would be miserable if that happened. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to give up that part of you. I got to know you through that part of you. I wouldn’t let you sacrifice your music. It’s who you are and I love you way too much for that to happen.”

Julian’s lips grazed mine, sending chills through my body. “And I love you way too much for that to happen. Your dream is my dream for you. I don’t want you to give up law. I don’t want you to have to choose.” He kissed me again, but this time, it was shorter. He pulled back, pushing loose tendrils of hair away from my face. “So we figure out how we handle it all.”

“But our family comes first,” I stated definitively as my fingers brushed against his warm skin. “Always.”

“Always and forever. We will coordinate our schedules to make sure we are still following our dreams, but our priority is always each other—”

“And our child.”

“Our family.”

My heart fluttered as our lips met again. “I’m glad we talked this out. I hate when we fight,” I murmured against him.

He rose to his knees, but he kept his face close to mine, his lips were just out of reach. “I love when we make up,” he growled, placing his hand at the base of my throat.

I bit down on my bottom lip in an effort to not smile. “I love the way you look at me.”

He moved his hand slowly until it rested on my chest, above my left breast. “I love the way your heart beats faster when my hands are on you.”

My back arched slightly and my core clenched in response to his words. “I love the way your hands feel on me.”

I swallowed hard as his hands moved downward. Cupping my breast, his forefinger gently traced circles around my hardened nipple. “I love the way your body responds to my touch.”

I looked down and saw the goosebumps covering my skin. He tweaked my nipple and a soft sigh escaped my lips. He took that opportunity to capture my mouth with his, devouring the sound of my pleasure.

I was so hypnotized by the way his mouth teased me that I didn’t realize my tank top was being removed until our lips parted for Julian to pull it over my head. Once it was off, he tilted me backward, lowering my head onto a pillow. He settled himself between my legs before putting his hands on my shoulders and sliding his fingers down my body. My breathing became labored as he played with the waistband of my shorts.

With him positioned where he was, my line of sight lowered to the tent he was making in his shorts. Desire swept through my body and my hips rolled instinctually.

He’s such a tease.

“I love and hate that you tease me when you know how badly I want you,” I breathed, another involuntary shiver coursing through me.

My eyes lingered on his hardness for a second longer before taking in the way his abs tightened with each movement. His chest expanded and his muscular arms flexed as he lifted my legs and pulled my shorts off of me.

I lay naked before him and he eyed me hungrily. His tongue moved from one side of his mouth to the other. I slithered against the sheets under his gaze.

“Please,” I mouthed to him.

The soundless plea seemed to be exactly what he was waiting for as his grey eyes burned into my brown ones. Slowly a smirk appeared on his lips. He ducked his head and trailed kisses from one hip bone to the other. “I love to hear you beg. Now close your eyes.”

I moaned as he kissed a slow, sexy path past my belly button and between my breasts. He took his time as he kissed my collarbone and my neck. The slow, tortuous process forced contented sighs out of me.

Balancing his body above me, he finally kissed me. Teasingly exploring my mouth, he used the hand that wasn’t propping him up to travel down my body. He started at the base of my neck and moved through the valley between my heavy breasts. I thought he’d bypass them completely, but his fingers paused at my ribcage before massaging their way over each nipple.

My nipples were so hard they hurt. I knew what I needed to sooth the pain, but I didn’t want him to stop kissing me. I reached up and grabbed his head. My body rolled against his. I didn’t want him to rush, but I wanted him inside me. His teasing had me ready.

So ready.

I felt him smile against my lips. He kissed his way over to my ear. “I know what you want,” Julian breathed hotly against my ear.

His hand skated across my belly and his fingers dragged down my smooth skin. He slid his finger along my slit, dipping into my wetness before toying with my clit.

The noise that erupted out of me was primal, but it was muted when his mouth covered mine.

He spread my wetness around and rubbed me rhythmically. It didn’t take long for my body to be on edge. I rolled my hips against his hand. He returned my eagerness by parting my lips and slipping his finger inside.

I moaned into his mouth and the kiss became almost desperate. His tongue played with mine and I felt it everywhere. Something deep in my gut tightened. The buildup of my orgasm was fast and just when I thought I was going over the edge, he slowed down, calming my overheated body. He alternated between bringing me to the edge and just barely stoking the fire. I rolled my body to meet his hand as he moved in and out of me. His teasing had made me so wet and so ready for him that it drove me insane.

“Do you hear how wet you are?” Julian growled as he pulled out of the kiss.

I could feel his dick through his shorts as it pressed against my hip. I tried to grab it but he moved down my body.

“Where are you going?” I hated how needy I sounded, but Julian brought it out of me. My eyes closed, focusing on the way he rubbed my g-spot.

He didn’t say a word and then suddenly I felt his breath tickling my smooth skin as he settled between my legs. His fingers hooked upward and my hips lifted again.

“Oh, yeah…that’s—oh shit!” I groaned as Julian’s mouth wrapped around my clit as he added a second finger inside of me. He swirled his tongue around and then sucked. I saw stars.

My body stiffened as I let out a noise that was part gasp and part moan. “Julian.”

The sensation of heat exploding from my core and coursing throughout my body consumed me. I’d been hanging on the brink of orgasm for so long that when it finally came, I felt it everywhere. I closed my eyes tightly, relishing in the feel of him. My heart was pounding in my chest and my eyes were still clamped shut.

“Holy shit,” I panted as Julian kissed his way back up my body.

He pressed his lips against mine. “You. Taste. So. Good.” He punctuated each word with a kiss.

With our mouths connected and our tongues exploring, I sat up, rolling Julian onto his back. His hands were everywhere as my naked body slithered against him sexily. I wanted to tease him. I wanted to kiss all over his body and drive him crazy. I wanted to massage his body and worship him with my mouth, but after what he’d just done to me, my priority was to make him feel the same pleasure he’d just delivered to me.

I climbed to my knees and sucked on his bottom lip while he helped me push his shorts down. As soon as his swollen dick popped free, however, I was immediately distracted.

“I’ll be back,” I whispered against his mouth.

“Where are you going?” He smirked as I wrapped my hand around his shaft. “I can’t hear you.”

“I’m about to speak into the mic,” I deadpanned as I pulled his shorts all the way off.

He snickered until I started stroking him. His gritty laugh ended in a sharp intake of air.

I watched him watching me with lust-fueled interest. His eyes flickered down my body as I sat on my knees between his legs. While I had his undivided attention, I leaned down and licked the head of his cock before lifting off of it.

The guttural groan that rumbled from deep inside of him turned me on. I teased him, enjoying the way his body twitched as my tongue flicked across the sensitive skin. Wrapping my hands around the base of his cock, I licked him like a lollipop and then smirked.

“And you called me a tease,” Julian whispered as he reached out, grasping my hair.

“I haven’t even started teasing you yet.”

“What do you—shit,” Julian groaned, stretching the curse word out as I took him all the way to the back of my throat.

I glanced up and if my mouth hadn’t been full, I would’ve smiled. His eyes were shut tight, his mouth hung open, and his abdominal muscles flexed.

His grip tightened on my hair as I bobbed my head up and down the entire length of him slowly. When I pulled up, I ran my teeth gently over the head. Swirling my tongue around, I worked my way down his shaft little by little, taking my time, and then I slurped him up. I let his width stretch my mouth and throat as I strained to breathe. I waited until I heard that sexy rumble deep in his chest and then I started the entire process all over again.

“Yes. Fuck, yes,” Julian moaned, guiding my head back down.

The unapologetic need deep inside me spurred me on and caused me to increase my speed. Julian’s moans became rough and more insistent each time I suctioned my mouth and swallowed. His fingers tightened their grip on my thick curls as he let out a string of expletives under his breath.

“Zoe,” he hissed as my lips struggled to make it to the base of his shaft. A chill ran through me when I felt him shudder.

His balls tightened in my hand and Julian let out another tortured grunt. Without warning, he tugged my hair at the root, forcing me off of his dick and onto my back.

Before I had a chance to close my mouth, Julian’s thumb skated across my clit.

Closing my eyes, I moaned loudly, rotating my hips. My heart raced.

“Even if you think it makes you sound like the worst person in the world, you need to talk to me anyway. Do you understand?” Julian’s voice was soothing and sexy as if he were trying to control my mind the same way he was controlling my body. “Do you understand?”