After We Fall (3 page)

The only thing more terrifying than the cop next door is making female friends. Ironic, given that in high school I was voted the friendliest girl at Holland Springs High. Before my marriage to Penn, I
loved
making friends, loved having friends, and loved being the center of attention.

All right, so I'll admit it—I used to be somewhat prideful about my popularity—but I swear that I used my powers
only
for good. However, the heady rush of being the girl everyone wanted to be, everyone wanted to know, and all the guys wanted to date was one of the best feelings ever.

Penn made sure to disabuse me of that notion. Once he'd gotten rid of my “slutty” friends, he managed to convince me that no one wanted to be my friend, that all my new friends were due to his power, his rank…his everything. I was nothing, less than nothing. Nothing more than an empty vessel to be filled by his wishes and wants and needs. I existed only for him.

Later, when he started hitting me more frequently, I barely existed at all. I hated being the center of his attention, hated being the only woman he wanted—after he got tired of his whore of the night.

Most of all, I hated how long I stayed.

Looking back, I can't pinpoint when it started…at least not exactly. Maybe when we were dating and he would be a little too rough with handling me when he got jealous of other guys. Maybe the fact that he
handled
me at all was a dead giveaway.

For me, that's one of the worst things about living with an abuser for so long. I feel so stupid for not leaving, for not recognizing the signs that were as obvious as the nose on my face, and in the beginning, for loving the attention he gave me. The way he wanted to spend every second of the day with me. The way he made me the center of his world…until he wanted to rule it with an iron fist.

Taking a deep breath, I push the curtains aside and check the parking lot for Hunter's truck. It's not there.

My heart jumps in excitement and not disappointment. Never disappointment. I'll never be disappointed by a man again.

Grabbing my phone, I secure it in my armband and head downstairs. Humid air hits me as soon as I push open the door. I make a face, sticking out my tongue like a hound dog.

A small meow captures my attention, drawing my gaze to the floor.

“Hello there. Looking for some food and water?” I ask the stray cat that is sunning itself on the side porch. Bending down, I stroke its head and the cute thing starts to purr. “Aren't you sweet?”

Looks like I'll be acquiring a roommate in my very near future. My walk will have to wait until later because this precious creature will need a bed, toys, cat food, and I'll have to make an appointment with the—

I spy a black collar around its neck. My heart sinks a little, but I check out the tag anyway. It's shaped like R2-D2 and I can't help but make a small noise of delight. “Oh, pardon me, Empress Padme, I didn't realize you belong to apartment F.” I'm glad she has a home, but for a minute I was excited to share mine.

Empress Padme gives me a haughty stare.

A woman comes around the side of the house, exasperation on her pretty face. She's almost as tall as I am and is wearing a T-shirt with the phrase
IF YOU DON'T TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT CATNIP, WHO WILL?
printed on the front. A pair of cutoff jeans and hot pink converse sneakers complete her look.

“There you are.” Scooping up her cat, she scolds her gently before turning her attention to me. “She used the force to escape and I've been looking for her for the past ten minutes.”

“Pretty sure she was leading the rebel army away from stormtroopers. So, go easy on her.”

The brunette regards me for a minute as if she's not sure if I'm making fun of her. “Possibly she thinks I'm Vader since I tricked her into taking a bath this morning.”

I nod solemnly. “You're a dead ringer for him, for sure.”

Pushing her eyeglasses back up her nose, a beautiful smile appears on her face. “I'm Saylor Dean. Sorry, I haven't been very neighborly by forgetting to welcome you to Rose Haven.” She bites her lip. “Welcome!”

“Thanks,” I say with a grin. “I'm Evangeline Ambrose. I live in apartment C.”

“Oh, then you're neighbors with Hunter. He's so nice,” she says conversationally.

“Really?”

“Yup. He rescued Padme from the oak tree in the back.”

Of course he did. “That was nice of him. I really haven't had a chance to get to know him—I'm new to the area and I'm still trying to figure everything out.” And I don't plan on getting to know him.

She blinks at me, her pretty brown eyes taking everything in, it seems. “I don't get out much, either.”

“Maybe…maybe you and I can get together,” I blurt, terrified she will say yes. And equally as terrified she will say no.
Gah.
I'm awful at this.

“That would be awesome,” she nearly shouts, then blushes as she winces. Tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear, she continues. “Sorry. I work with animals five days a week at Forrestville Animal Shelter and don't interact with people much. But now I have to work six days a week because we're short an employee, which means I'm there all the time, and Empress gets mad at me for the lack of attention she's receiving and runs away to spite me.” Her lips smash together for a second. “So…yeah, I'm sure you didn't need to know all that.”

Although I technically don't need a job, I
so
need a job. I need to be productive. I need to focus on something other than myself and my past. “Is the shelter hiring?”

Saylor nods. “Yes. The application is online. You can put my name down for a reference, since you saved me from being late for work.”

“You're welcome, but I really didn't do anything but pet and talk to her,” I confess. I don't want to get a reference I didn't earn.

“Which is why she stayed instead of bolting and making me spend
another
ten minutes, or longer, looking for her,” Saylor points out.

“I guess you have me there.” I rock back on my heels.

Saylor nuzzles Empress Padme's soft head. “If you have time, you can fill out the application online and then come by the shelter for an interview today.”

“Really?” It's almost too good to be true, but sometimes good things actually happen when you need them to the most.

“Truly,
Padawan,
” she replies in a serious voice, then blushes. “Ah…I did it again. Sorry. I—”

Clasping my hands together as if in prayer, I bow slightly and say in my best Yoda voice, “Be there before four, I will.”

She stares at me for so long that I finally shrug and say, “I have four older brothers. All of them fans. My sister, too…even my parents. Growing up, we had lots of movie-night marathons. It was, like, a rule that you had to be there.” Warmth suffuses me as those memories bubble up. For once, my past is nice, comforting. The laughter of my siblings fills me with bittersweet emotions. I miss them so much.

A strange look covers her face, one that I can't quite read. “That sounds very nice” is all she says before abruptly walking away.

“See you this afternoon,” I call out.

Over one shoulder, Saylor waves at me, but she doesn't reply. Maybe she regrets telling me about the opening. Maybe she was just being nice. Maybe none of that matters because I'm tired of doing nothing now that I can do something.

Pivoting, I make my way to my apartment. In no time at all, I have my laptop open and Google is pulling up the Web page for Forrestville Animal Shelter. To my thankful surprise, it's a no-kill shelter that's growing faster than they have room or money. But apparently, they've been allocated enough money to hire a tech. Pretty sure “tech” is code for “new girl to clean up poop and take out the trash.”

Of course, I click on the link to apply for the job. I'm a farmer's daughter, after all, and I can muck up crap with the best of them. Although it has been
years
since I've gotten my hands dirty. Years since I've held baby chicks and lambs.

Everything was years ago. Everything better about my life took place years ago.

My throat tightens and tears prick at my eyes, but I refuse to cry. I've cried enough because of that bastard Penn, and he won't get another tear out of me.

“You came,” Saylor says as soon as I walk inside the front office. Her voice is filled with disbelief, but the look on her face is something very close to happy.

“Said I would.” I sit down in the chair directly in front of the desk, taking in the room. It smells of animals, mostly dogs…but it's not off-putting—more like a barn after a good rainstorm.

Saylor busies herself with cleaning off her desk. “Give me a sec, and I'll bring up your information.” Pushing at her glasses, she focuses on the large computer screen in front of her. “There you are.” Her eyebrows rise. “You raised lambs and a calf?”

“Farmer's daughter and former 4-H'er,” I reply, hoping that my experience is enough.

“Um…well, do you have any recent experience with animals?”

My face falls. “No.” How could I when Penn refused to allow a dog or cat in our home? He claimed it was because we had to move so much while he was on active duty, but once he got out…I knew he refused in order to punish me. He couldn't stand the thought of my attention being diverted away from him by anyone or anything. “I…uh…I'm a fast learner.”

Saylor gives me a small but sweet smile. “You were really good with Padme.”

“Animals usually like me, and I usually like them.”

“That's the kind of answer I want to hear.” Her smile turns into a grin. “You're honest, and I like that.”

“I try to be.”

“One last question.”

My heart starts to beat like it has taken flight. “Yes?”

“You don't have any work history for almost six years? Did something happen to you?”

I got married and after the first year, he forbade me from working anywhere, that's what happened. But I can't share that with Saylor. “My husband was in the Army and we moved around a lot.”

Her dark gaze goes to my left hand. “You're married?” Then her eyes widen. “Ack! Don't answer that. Sorry.”

The genuine expression of horror on her face makes me want to hug her, and I haven't felt like touching anyone for a long, long time. I lean forward and give her a wink. “Don't worry. I won't report you.” I wouldn't know where to report her, even if I wanted to.

“
Omigosh.
Thank you.” Saylor jumps to her feet, extending her hand. “You've got the job.”

My mouth drops open for a second. “I do?”

She nods happily, even as her arm falls to her side. I should have shaken her hand.

“B-but I don't have the experience.” Ugh. Why am I saying this? Oh, wait, I know, because of Penn.

“You're only good at one thing, Evangeline, and I'm mighty glad you're so damn willing,” Penn says, playfully slapping my butt cheek as he gets out of bed.

I bury my head in the mattress, refusing to look at him. I'm so eager to please him, so desperate to make him see the error of his ways, that I am willing. Worse, he's not just good in bed…he's amazing and attentive. He's tender and loving, and if that's all we did, then our marriage would be perfect. I don't know if he's this way to screw with my head or if it's because he doesn't drink or get high when he wants to have sex. I suspect that he can't get it up then.

And before today, it had been a week since we'd last slept together. A week of walking on eggshells and praying to God that he would keep coming home late.

Those perfect days of sobriety are the ones I cling to, the ones that I treasure and make me hope for a better future with him. When he's happy and healthy, I love Penn more than anything. When his blue eyes aren't so cold, I bask in the warmth. I'm not a quitter and I won't give up on him because he has problems. He just needs help. What kind of wife would I be if I left him now?

“I can do this,” I whisper. “I'm strong enough.”

But just as I turn my head, I see him grab a bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. “What the fuck did you wash the towels in?”

“The detergent I always use—the one you like best.”

He shakes his head, his eyes growing frosty. “Oh, baby, I don't think so. Guess I'll have to spend some time teaching you about what I like best.”

Turning away from him, I shove my fist into my mouth to keep from screaming.

I'm not strong at all.

“Evangeline?” Saylor snaps her fingers in front of my face and I'm shocked to discover that she's standing right in front of me. A concerned frown pulls the corners of her lips down. “Are you feeling okay? You got really pale.”

Taking a deep breath, I force a smile and push my raw emotions down. “I'm fine. Really—so about the job?”

Saylor doesn't look completely convinced, but bless her heart a million times, she brings our conversation back to work. “Yes. Look, you're perfect, and since no one else has bothered to apply since we first posted it six months ago, I say you get the job by default.”

“Uh, thanks?”

“You're welcome. Besides, we really need a new guy to clean up poop.” There's a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. I think I'm going to like working with Saylor.

“Wonderful,” I say wryly. “Can't wait.”

Saylor beams at me. “When can you start?”

“Tomorrow?” I stand and move toward the office door.

“See you at nine!”

As I drive home, my mind is all over the place. I sit at a green light for a full minute before I realize I can go. Luckily, no one is behind me, but by the time I pull into my spot in the parking lot, I'm a sweaty mess.