Against the Grain (17 page)

“I know, I guess I just feel… trapped… or stagnate… or something,” she inched closer.

“You’ve been out here for a long time; I’m guessing most of that time you’ve been feeling pretty alone,” My words and tone were now coming out carefully, metered and methodical as I began to shape the dialogue. “You’ve had a lot of time to remember your life as it was, and now you have a lot of time to reflect on what it is now. Days and weeks turned into months, and I know you, the thought of stagnation, knowing there is an unfulfilled void, it’s built into a craving for old excitement and stimulation… but you’ve been able to keep it in check,” my voice lowered slightly as I took a half step to close what little distance there was between us.

“So now you’ve found that you aren’t alone out here anymore and that suppressed spirit of yours is craving to be… satisfied
, isn’t it?” I paused and effortlessly moved closer still.  

“Yes,” the whispered word escaping her lips was barely audible as the feminine shape of her body stretched towards me.

Our faces were less than an inch apart as I continued on.

“You’ve been secluded out here and it mixed with the conformity of being in a long term relationship. You’re missing the feeling of a kiss, hands moving… caressing, the feeling of tangled bodies pressing together…”

I was channeling a feeling that at one time was very natural, only now I was in control and I knew where the limits were too.   

“Tiffany, of course I’ve fantasized about being with you again. And now that you’re standing in front of me, I see all too clear how those fantasies are nothing in comparison to the real thing. We could go in this shed right here and be back out of it in about two minutes, but that really wouldn’t be right, you need the proper amount of time to be spent on lavishing both your body, and your mind.”

Her lips were so close to mine that only the thinnest amount of light could have been seen between them, and it was time to stop this before they met. All it would take would be one kiss and I would have given into what we once knew so well.

“Tiff, it just can’t happen, not right now anyway. Maybe again someday if things are different, but as it is, those fantasies will have to be enough… for a little while longer anyway,” I added.

A slight gust of wind blew against us, clearing the air around us and refreshing our senses. Our eyes unlocked from each other and we pulled back to create a safe distance between our heightened nerve endings.

“You still have it, I’ll tell you that,” she shook her head slightly with a satisfied look.

“You have no idea,” I said in one final seductive suggestion, mimicking her early comment. My hand slowly reached out toward her, then retracted and landed on the knob of my radio to twist it on and transmit my voice.   

“Two-One this is One-One, I’m setting up an
OP away to the north for the night.”

“Two-One copies.”
 

Chapter 16

Tiffany and I walked back up the driveway together and split off into separate directions. I went to retrieve my gear from the 4Runner, and she headed back into the house. Andrew was busy checking the oil and other fluids on both the Toyota and the Dodge. The other members of our party were setting up a make shift camp in the front yard, and I noticed Breanne had her small pack sitting close by as I walked up.  

“So where are we headed?”
she asked.

“You are staying right here to help Derek out,” I glanced around quickly to make sure we were out of earshot of any members of the Meehan family before saying any more. “I don’t see how they have made it out here by themselves this long, so if they are interested in coming back with us, you are the one to set it up.”

“Everybody here knows as much as I do about the setup of the houses,” she protested.

“But you need to be the one to officially extend the offer if and when Derek brings it up,” I reminded her.

“I already talked to him. He said they were going to just take the night to enjoy being back home and feel out the situation, then wait till morning for anything else.”

T
hat was actually a really smart move and while I didn’t want to take too much time, Derek knew that sometimes timing was everything.  

“Okay well either way, you stay here and do what you can. I’ll be off quite a ways but still in radio contact with the CB.”

Our discussion had started to bring the other members of our group over to listen in, so I included them all with my next thoughts. “Lets do shifts throughout the night so one person is always up and listening on the radio while I’m watching the road. If I call in, then it’s that person’s job to get everyone else up.”

“And who is going to watch from out there while you get some rest?” Breanne asked me in a tone that I was beginning to recognize all too well.

“I’ll be just fine. Regular radio checks at ten, midnight, two and four. I’ll be back here for breakfast,” I tried to ignore her.

“
We
will be back for breakfast,” Breanne amended. “I can’t even guess when the last time was that you slept.”

She wasn’t wrong about my sleeping, and I could use another set of eyes… although a cold shower might be more necessary after my run in with Tiffany. Both Andrew and Jake offered to come with me, but I thought it better to keep them together with their significant others, leaving the larger group to rotate monitoring the radio and help out around here if it was needed.
 

I had switched weapons with Derek so now I was out weaving my way through the scrub brush with the scoped 308 propped over one shoulder, its magazine sticking straight up into the air. We ended up just over three quarters of a mile away from the homestead after finding a nice shallow depression in the ground near the top of one of the many rolling hills. The spot gave us a view of the intersection of the road in and the driveway, and also of all the country around for as far as you could see.
 

Breanne and I laid out our bags and set up the cold camp. This close to the road we would be foregoing a warming or cooking fire and I tried not to think about the happy feast around a campfire the others were probably all going to be enjoying tonight.

“Do we need to worry about snakes or anything like that out here?” Breanne asked, causing me to look around nervously.

If there was one thing I really, really disliked about this area, it was the snakes. I had never actually seen one out here, but rattlesnakes were a constant concern of mine. Actually I was totally freaked out and grossed out by the sneaky, slithering little bastards and thinking about it made me shiver and want to climb on top of a big rock.

“Naw, shouldn’t be a problem,” I lied. “I’d be more worried about the
chupacabra
.”

“The what?”

“Never mind. Honestly it’s probably just you and me for miles and miles around out here.”

“It’s so desolate, how could anyone ever live out here?” Breanne wrapped her arms in front of her.  

Instead of answering outright, I stood up directly in front of her and reached out, putting my hands on her shoulders. Her breathing paused, obviously unsure of what I was doing which made me smile. I gently guided her with my hands to turn around and look behind her at what I had been looking at.
 

“This could be one reason,” I said, stepping beside her and lazily draping an arm over her shoulders. “You don’t get prettier sunsets than out here.”

“Oh wow,” she whispered.

We were facing the west and watching the sun as it settled below the distant horizon in brilliant hues of reds, pinks and oranges, the light doubling as it reflected off the wispy cloud cover in the distance. With my free hand, I pointed at the color soaked clouds.

“Do you see the different colors there that almost make a big triangle?”

“Yeah, what is that?” She asked.

“You’re only going to see that at this time of year, and only if the conditions are just right. That’s the reflection of Mt. Chalast almost three hundred miles away. The sun is setting behind it and only when there are just enough clouds that are just right, like they are now, you can see the outline from it.”

“Really? That’s amazing.”
 

We stood there silently watching the scenery and enjoying the moment. I hadn’t meant anything by placing my arm across her shoulders, it was just one of those moments where human to human touch, even as mutual friends, was just somehow appropriate. She must have felt the same thing as her hand came to rest behind my back.

Chapter 17

“Aw damnit, why don’t I just slam my dick in a car door…” I grumbled and reached for the radio laying a few feet away and under an errantly tossed shirt.

“What?” Breanne looked up and rolled over as I indicated a direction down and to the north.

“Hotel, OP One, come in over,” I called.

“Go for Hotel.”

“Be advised, I have one visible set of headlights on the main road in. If they turn down this lane we’ll need to wake everybody up fast.”
 

“Copy One.”

It was just after two in the morning and the temperature was less than it had been during the day, but still warm enough that we weren’t completely chilled… which meant that fighting sleep was a very hard thing to do.

“How much time?” Breanne breathed, looking over at me.
 

“Enough for me at least… but let’s see where this guy goes.” I considered lightheartedly, although I felt the nerves in my chest tighten, wondering if someone had indeed followed us out here.

We didn’t have to wait long for the headlights to continue on past the gated driveway and disappear down the road. It was a longer wait to try and settle back down and think about maybe getting some sleep.

The next morning the crisp, clear air had us up early. I was anxious to rejoin the others and see what decisions were to be made. I still just didn’t feel right about not having an early warning of someone driving up on us so over the radio I set up the next shift to come out and take our place so that we could go off and eat breakfast with the main group.

Breanne and I finally made it back to the house after showing Andrew and Cary the spot we had set up in the night before. Waiting for us was a small pile of onions, potatoes and eggs, still warm in their cast iron pan on top of the wood cook stove in the farmhouse. We sat with Derek and Karen as we ate, and finally asked if the subject of moving had been brought up yet.

“Not yet. We thought you both should be here for the conversation, so we waited. Honestly, I don’t see how we could make it. The firewood stash is getting really low and the winters out here are brutal. They’ve got a good garden planted but are starting to run out of the bare essentials. No feed other than scraps for the animals, no more canning lids, low on sugar and floor, tools are breaking down… its just not sustainable. And with only enough gas left for one trip back to town, they, I mean we, won’t be able to re-supply,” Derek told us.

Derek had gotten a good feel for the physical, but there was another side to it and for that I turned to Karen.

“And their spirits?”

“Hard to tell,” she replied after mulling the question over. “I’m guessing us showing up has really brightened them into what we are seeing now, but it has to have been weighing on them. They can see the writing on the wall and I’m guessing they’ve been pretty short on hope for a while now.”

“You guys getting back here may just be a double edged sword,” Breanne piped up. “If you’re serious about coming back to live with us, then you are going to have to get through to them because now that you’re back, they may just be that much more reluctant to leave.”
 

“I hadn’t considered that,” Karen pondered. “Also there’s…”

“Sydney,” I filled in for her. “I can imagine that with you guys showing up after all this time, they will have some hope back that she will show up here too.”

Derek didn’t have anything to say to that, his look told me he was realistic about the possibility that they may never see his littlest sister again.

“Tell you what, we’ve got a few things to sort out for the drive home. While we’re doing that, why don’t you two talk to the rest of the family and see how it goes. If you need us, we’ll be right outside,” Breanne stood to go outside.

“Hey for the record, from both of us to both of you, thank you,” Karen said, looking very serious. “For what you’ve done and what you’re doing… thank you.”

We each nodded in a silent reply and then walked out to find Jake and Julie by the trucks. It took about a half hour for the front door of the old farm house to open again and the whole Meehan family made their way outside onto the front porch. By the mixed looks on all their faces, I couldn’t judge how the conversation had gone.

“You guys have a minute to talk?” Stan asked us from across the yard.

“We’ll finish up here while you…” Jake said, but I stopped him off before he could say any more.

“Oh no you don’t. You two are coming with us for this one.”

“What? Why?” Julie looked confused.

“Because you two specifically had to make the same decision that this family is struggling with and you might be some help. Plus if I piss Stan off one more time I’m going to need someone’s help to pull him off of me,” I joked.

The four of us grabbed a seat on the porch steps and listened to what they had to say. As we expected, there were mixed emotions and reactions, and Breanne did a great job of keeping the offer serious and nonjudgmental. They really had done quite well for themselves being all alone out here.  

Jake and Julie each added their own personal thoughts about what it was like having to move to a new place and basically forsake their own homes and unheard from families. It was the first time I had heard them talk so frankly about how hard it had been and they got the point across that it had been the right decision. I added in what little I could about the set up of the two empty houses and the rest of the area that they would have available.

“So if we do this, how do we do it?” RJ was asking.

“Well like I said, we’d load up everything possible in the trucks and trailers that you have here. The houses are furnished, so you wouldn’t need a whole lot. Just pack everything useful, sentimental, or irreplaceable, like you’d never be coming back here, and then hope that it’s not the case,” I answered frankly.

“We’ve got enough gas with us to get your trucks and ours all back home,” Breanne paused briefly at the word “home” before pushing forward, “and I think everything here can pull a trailer.”

“We only have the stock trailer and the little cargo hauler,” Stan interjected.
 

“And that might not be enough,” I finished for him. “How were the neighbors set up? Is there anything still useful at any of the nearby homes out here?”

“Are you talking about looting?” Sandy sounded hurt by the idea.

“I think we’re passed looting and into scavenging, if I may say so,” I was trying to be nice, but what the hell did they think? Stan and RJ’s efforts at keeping them in the dark and insulated were coming back around.

“We are not going to take something that does not belong to us. Or anything that someone else is still using, period,” Stan looked at me with his condemning presence.

“And neither would I. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about breaking in and taking a big screen TV here, but we need to be realistic about our own survival and I don’t think your dead neighbors are going to be using their garden rake anytime soon.”

That was maybe not quite the right way to express my thoughts and Breanne looked like she would have kicked me underneath a table to be quiet if she could have. There was a brief silence while we all gathered our thoughts, then Stan looked at his family, sighed, and continued on.  

“The Burke’s had a trailer parked at their place. You’d better grab the planting pots from behind their garage too if we’re going to transplant our garden.”

They were coming with us.

“Okay,” I jumped into the organizing and tried to not let them reflect too long on the decision now that it had been made. “Bre and I will take the 4runner and go check it out.” Then turning to Jake and Julie, “you two make yourselves extremely useful and get Drew and
Cary involved. I hate to be down a person, but I’d feel better if we still had a set of eyes out near the gate.”

“Yeah we got it,” Jake said enthusiastically, “you want me to come with you though?”

“Naw, you get to help Derek, RJ and the old guy with any heavy lifting, I hate helping people move,” I flashed a wry smile to the group. “We should try to be on the road by early tomorrow afternoon. “Bre, if you would get with Stan and map out the neighbors places, I’ll meet you at the 4runner.”

“You think we should ask Drew if he minds us taking it?” Breanne asked, knowing her brother’s obsession with his prized
Toyota.

“He shouldn’t have left the keys in it,” I deadpanned, standing up and very covertly winking at Tiffany. It was the same line she had once used on me years ago before joy ridding in our friends old Cutlass convertible.