Ain't no hitta like the one I got: part one (3 page)

“Come on, it’s warm and cozy and way better than out here.”

She stood up, and I realized that she was kinda tall and slim, but she had a phaty with some hips on her. I tried not to stare, but I guess it was in my nature. I got her bag and she picked up the garbage from the food I gave her and she followed behind me, downstairs and into my apartment. When we got inside she still looked frightened and unsure.

“Come follow me”, I said quietly as not to wake my grandma, but it was too late.

“Boy what is all of that racket, going on?” My grandma asked coming outside of her room door tying her robe.

“Grandma everything is ok, just go lay back down”, I looked at Willemena and shook my head.

“And who is this young lady? OOOh, you look familiar. You are the nice girl that helped yesterday with my shopping cart? What is your name and what are you doing here?”

“I am Willemena, Mam.”

“Child come give me a hug,” she said opening up her arms.

I watched them hug, “What are you doing here child, Cause my boy Patience never bring women home.”

I looked up in the air at her giving out my government. I glanced at Willemena and she was grinning and her eyes were sparkling. Shit she was beautiful.

“Grandma, I am helping her that all. That’s why she’s here.”

“Well go help her then, why are you standing here. There’s some left over stew and banana pudding in the fridge if she’s hungry”, my grandmother mumbled and turned back around and went into her room.

“Come on,” I said leading her into my room. I went and got some towels and shit out of the linen and gave it to her and showed her the bathroom. She took the stuff and disappeared out of the room, and I sat back on a chair that I had in the corner and waited until she got out. I was checking my phone until I started to doze off, I woke up when I heard Willemena come into the room. She walked in with her hair still wet, in only a pair of panties, with the front of her panties wedged in between of the slit of her pussy, making the lips divide into two and look fat and she had on a tight wife beater with her nipples poked out. I didn’t even know shorty was hiding those big titties under all of the baggy clothes she had on. My dick was starting to get hard so I got up and threw some clean blankets and sheets on the bed.

“Here, you sleep in my room and I will be sleep out in the living room, if you need anything else, just wake me up, “I said closing the door behind me. I laid on the couch and tried to fall asleep with the big ass boner. I didn’t even know why my dick was acting up knowing I fucked something earlier anyway, falling asleep was hard to do but I dozed off anyway, maybe shorty would be gone by tomorrow . I knew she had to have some type of family somewhere but deep inside I looked forward to knowing more about her.

Jealousy

When I woke up the next morning, I shocked about everything. Was I really sleeping in this nigga’s house that I really didn’t even know? This shit was so crazy. I looked around at the millions of hats pinned up against the walls, the million boxes of jays lined up in the corner. The pictures of Tupac and Biggie, the basketball in the corner of the room; yup, a typical dude room, I smirked to myself. I know this sounds dumb but I was actually home sick and wondering about what my mother was doing right now. I just really missed the normalcy of my life, I know arguing with my mother wasn’t normal, but every child belongs with their parent. Every Sunday morning my mother would basically cook fish and grits for her man, just thinking about food made my stomach grumble, so I went in my garbage bag that had my clothes in it and that Paper had put at the foot of the bed, and I got out a fresh pair of sweats and a hoodie, threw that on and put my hair back up in a tight bun. When I walked towards the kitchen, the house was quiet, I passed Paper still asleep on the couch, and I stopped briefly to get a really good look at him, I am not going to lie, he was cute, I liked the way that his waves were spinning, and he had a smooth paper bag brown complexion, he was tall and lanky, and he had pink full lips, and tattoos everywhere from what I could see even though he had a white t shirt on and baggy jeans. He looked so peaceful laying there sleeping that I decided not to wake him and instead go into the kitchen and fix breakfast for him and his grandmother. As I was looking in the refrigerator, I heard noise in the background, I turned around and noticed that Paper wasn’t on the couch anymore, I continued looking around until I found eggs, bacon, wheat toast, and fruit, and I started cooking before I knew it, I felt someone tap me on my shoulder, startled, I sprung around, and it was Paper, fresh out of the shower, in sweats, shirtless, and a towel around his neck, smelling like soap. He had the picture of the Brooklyn Bridge tatted on his chest. My heart beat quickened, I didn’t know why, maybe because I had never seen a real man with his shirt off before, well at least not this close up to me anyway.

“What?” I asked unbothered.

“Smells good”, he said sitting down at the table, “Too bad Grandma isn’t here to see Chef Will do her thing.”

“Where is she by the way? And I already told you not to call me that, call me by my real name.”

“Whatever Willemena, anyway she’s at Church, and I felt you looking at me this morning.”

“So?”

“So, why didn’t you just wake me up?”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Whatever.”

I put both of our places down on the table, with forks and we both dove in.

“So what’s your story”, he asked looking up at me, “Do you think that your man is going to be home today, and ya’ll gonna patch shit up? What were ya’ll fighting about anyway, he cheated?”

I looked up at him and watched how he stuffed the food in his mouth, his plate was almost clean, should I tell him the truth? Fuck it; I might as well be honest. I thought to myself.

“Listen, I lied, I don’t have a man, my mother threw me out, and I lived over there by Stuyvesant and Livonia Avenue.”

“Dam, how old are you and do you have any more family that lives out here and where did you get those scratches on your face from? Someone beating on you?”

“No, I had a fight earlier in the park, no I don’t have any more family and I am 17.”

He dam near choked on his toast when he heard the last word. And we caught eyes.

“How old are you?” I asked him.

“21”, he said as he got up, and got the juice cartoon out of the refrigerator and drank it straight like that.

I watched him walk out of the kitchen, and that was the last that I seen of him that day, as I stayed in his room watching T.V all day while he had out gone. Did I say something wrong? I don’t know. Maybe I was better off not telling him my business but it was too late now. I felt asleep, but was startled back awake when I heard a sound near the door. It was dark outside and Paper was standing near the bed.

“You was in here all day? He asked me.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you eat?”

“No.”

“There’s a plate for you on the table”, he said walking away. I wanted him to talk to me some more and tell me how his day was, but he left out of the room so quickly and it just seemed like he was trying to avoid me. I went out to the kitchen and ate my food silently but I was very aware of Paper sitting in the living room. After a while, I heard him get up and I think I heard the bathroom door slam. It’s funny how when someone has your attention, you don’t give a fuck about them, but soon as they start acting like you don’t matter, it makes you start to care just a little bit. I liked having his attention, it made me feel like at least someone cared about me. I got up and washed the dishes, and when I finished, Paper was already out on the couch dozing off. He smelled like soap just like before. Dam, he could have at least said good night, I thought to myself as I went back into his bedroom and prepared for my own shower, all the while I was washing up, I was thinking about how I could get Paper’s attention back on me, like it was before. Then I had an idea, when I got out of the shower, I dried off and then I put on my lace panties and I didn’t put on any shirt, niggas always whispered in school on how my titties were mad big, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew that I wanted him to want to me. I walked back out into the living room, and I tapped him on the shoulder, “Paper, I need another blanket in the room, it’s cold in there.”

He looked at me and his eyes, roam, up my body and lingered on my chest.

“Yo, Willemena, get the fuck in the room, standing there like that?  The blankets are in the closet in the hallway, get one, and hurry up and get the fuck back in the room.” With that, he closed his eyes again.

I ran and got the blanket, got in the room and closed the door. I started to cry on the pillow and I didn’t even know why. What is wrong with me? I felt like leaving but where the fuck was I going to go? I decide to leave anyway, I don’t know what was happening but whatever it is, it wasn’t good and I just felt stupid. I quietly put on my sweats, hoodie, and I put the rest of my things in my garbage bag, and I headed towards the front door, I really didn’t want to go, but I felt like I fucked up and I just wanted to get away. Just as I put my hand on the door, I heard his voice behind me.

“Where are you going Willemena?”

“I am leaving.”

He gently grabbed my arm, “Listen, I am sorry for cursing at you earlier.”

I turned around and looked at him, and I just started to cry and he held me, and then he released me, and he titled my chin up, “You are a nice young girl, never give no nigga your body, unless they deserve it, I didn’t like that move that you made in there earlier. Your body is your temple; keep that for the right person. I don’t need no payment for you staying here, I am not that type of nigga, you heard me?”

I shook my head yes.

“Now, please unpack your things, and go to bed.”

I turned back in around and went back inside of his room and got in bed, and he went back out into the living room and within seconds, I was fast asleep. It was good knowing that you feel wanted; I just wish it was my mother that wanted me back home.

The next morning I was abruptly waken by the curtains being opened by Paper, I shielded my eyes and looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

“Rise and shine, it’s morning Monday. You told me that you are 17, so I know that your ass is enrolled in some type of school, so it’s time to get up and get ready. What school do you go to?”

“Kennedy High school,” I said sitting up in bed. Now I know that this nigga ain’t about to make me go to school after I had that fight the other day, and all that is going on, shit little does he know, I am not going but I looked in my garbage of clothes to make him think that I was looking for something to wear.

“Oh yeah,” he said getting up and walking towards his closet, “I got something for you.” He came back with Louis Vuitton luggage, unzipped it, and it was filled with a whole bunch of beautiful fly shit.

“Give me that garbage bag; I am throwing that shit away. From now on, this stuff right here belongs to you.”

I was perplexed, as I picked up the clothing, “This is generous of you Paper, but I am not going to wear your bitch’s clothes.”

“For one, these clothes don’t belong to my girl, I got it for you. I know that you can fit this shit, so get dressed. And here, but these earrings on,” He said handing me a pair of five carat diamonds.

My eyes widened at the sight of the jewelry, now when my dad was alive, he would hit my mother off with mad bread for me, but she would never buy me no expensive shit like this. She would spend most of the money on her, but I never really got upset like that because I just wanted her to be happy. When I put those shits in my ear, it was heavy as fuck, and then as I started looking farther into the suitcase full of clothes, I came across the picture of a pretty woman, that looked to be the same body size as me, holding a baby and standing next to a smiling man.

“Look Paper, I can’t accept this,” I said putting the stuff back into the suitcase, “It was a good a gesture but I am good, give me back my bag,” I said looking around for the garbage that he took away from me a few minutes ago.

“Listen Willemena, you need better things, so I got them for you. You can’t fault a nigga for trying to help you. You need these things more than that bitch. She good, she can easily get more, you are having it hard right now and I am just trying to make it better for you.”

“Yeah, I feel you but why?” I asked him.

“Don’t worry about why, just get ready for school, I will be out in the living room waiting for you so hurry up.”

It was the way that he showed some compassion, and the fact that he wanted to take charge and help me, that had me in the bathroom and getting dressed in the bitch with the baby’s clothes, and what do you know, the stretch jeans, and moschino top fit me like a glove, hugging curves I didn’t even know my body had. I found a blow dryer in the bathroom, and decided to dry my hair, and let my curly long tresses flow down my back. I put on a little of his grandmother’s pink lipstick, and I admired how the diamonds sparkled in my ear that Paper gave me. A bitch might have a good day after all, I thought to myself as I met Paper out in the living room.

Paper, nodded his approval and we were on our way out, when his grandmother gave me a smile from the kitchen table, I really liked her, she reminded me of how I would want my grandmother to be, that is if I had one. When we left out of the building, the air was crisp and brisk, but the designer coat that Paper gave me, kept me warm as we waited for the bus. Paper sparked up a blunt at the bus stop, and I just stared at him, with his Army fatigue jacket, brand new jays and his New York City fitted cap. No he didn’t have a brand new car, and all of that, but the way that he carried himself, you could tell that he was just “that nigga.” Sometimes it wasn’t about what you had but the way that you carried yourself, and it was just that way in high school. Some of the most popular kids didn’t have anything, but they were funny, and had a certain air about themselves that just drove people to them.

The bus came in to time, and we rode in it in silence. When we reached our stop, we got off and walked the remaining two blocks. When we got the building, he pulled out two twenties and gave them to me. “Take this” he said. I did, and I walked into the building, when I looked back, he was still standing there watching me.

The bell had just started to ring for first period, so I reluctantly made my slow shuffle to the staircase with the billions of other students rushing this way and that.

My day was actually going good until around fourth period when I decided to go to the bathroom and that’s when the fucking dramatics begun. Shawna, Daphney and a couple other who give a fuck about bitches, were in there, I could have turned and walked back out but I didn’t. I refuse to let these chicks think that they had any kind of power over me, I mean Daphney was cool , but the rest of the girls could get it, but anyway, I went into one of the stalls closed it and when I actually started peeing that’s when that loud mouth bitch Shawna opened her mouth. “It smells like wet dog in this bitch, I don’t know this school allows trash ass, half breed smuts in here.” All of the girls burst out laughing and I heard them clear out of the bathroom and leave, I didn’t even sweat that small shit, that bitch was speaking in subliminal, as long she wasn’t saying no shit to my face directly, I wasn’t going to approach her. I got out of the stall, wash my hands and went to my next class which was Government; my favorite class. I loved studying the political aspect of the pass and present and how it affects our world. I have thought about going into journalism when I get an adult and writing and traveling the world and writing about such things, but right now my future seemed so clouded with how my situation is. I will be turning 18 soon, does my mother even care or think about me, probably now, the bell sounded and I was off to my next period feeling unsure about life. My next period was lunch, so I made my way through the crowd, got some salad and a milk, and that’s when Daphney, sat beside me. She had another lunch period from the other girls, that’s how I knew she was cool because we chat from time to time in the cafeteria. I stuck a fork in my salad as she started off with her drama, “To be honest Willemena, I don’t know why Shawna fucks with you like that. She doesn’t even talk to Jason like that, so I don’t know what her problem is?”