AJ's Salvation (8 page)

“Collene always was after you. You were missing in her little collection. It was almost like an obsession. I don’t think you ever showed any interest in her until that night,” Greg mumbled.

“Nope.”

“Because you wanted Aly.” It was a recap rather than a question.

“I knew exactly what I was going to say to you. I swear I had an awesome case to plead.” Greg laughed shortly, just as Jam had hoped. “That night changed it all. I kissed Collene then and there, and Aly was forgotten. She never really returned to being cruel to anyone else, either, so I thought what was my happiness against everyone else’s?” It was weird. He had never said that out loud, and it was scarily liberating.

“Yeah, that would have probably changed me, too,” Greg finally said. “So what’s the plan now? Collene hasn’t appeared, and no one knows where she is. Her mother seems relieved, and her father is furious.” Jam remembered her mother well. She was a timid little woman and probably the only one who ever had been remotely nice in their house.

“Collene isn’t here, either. Aly’s still safe and so is Alessandro. I should probably come back and –” 

“Maybe you should stay and win Aly over. This can be your second chance, Jam. Especially if you spent the last decade being unhappy because Collene’s a fucking bitch. How did you ever get yourself to sleep with her?” Jam could almost hear the shuddering over the phone.

“She was a beautiful girl, no matter how she treated others.” The lie slid off his tongue easily. 

“Damn, Jam.” Greg sighed, and Jam pinched the bridge of his nose. He hated the lies, but by now, they were almost as much part of him as his left hand or right foot. “Anyway, how about staying there?”

“Never, Greg. She deserves someone better. You should want someone better for her,” he whispered, looking up at the star-covered sky. 

“You two had secret feelings for each other for ten fucking years. You stayed away from her to protect her. Now, she doesn’t need to be protected from anything any longer, and you can leave it all behind.” His best friend had no idea. Jamison couldn’t ever leave the past behind, especially not when he was wearing the evidence all over his body.

“I’m gonna go now. The lady who’s letting me stay in her house is demanding. Half of her house needs fixing and I have to get up early. I just came from Aly’s place and needed someone to talk to.”

Greg stayed silent on the other end, and Jam figured he had finally overdone it on the emotional front. “Uh, yeah, anyway, I …” He checked his watch, realizing with utter shock that it was three in the morning. “Damn, why are you even awake?”

Finally, Greg laughed. “I used the time your ass was out of the house and had a lady friend over. She was a disaster, so I ended up playing computer games. You got lucky.” 

“This time, at least,” Jam commented, getting up again and turning. To the right was the house he wished he could return to, and to the left was the house he’d most likely lie awake in now until the sun came up. He shook his head and then went to Dorly’s house.

“Later, dude,” he said and hung up. He felt drained. Only after hanging up did he think about the fact Greg would most likely mention his little story to Aly. It was the last thing Jam wanted, but it was too late now. He wouldn’t call his best friend back to accuse him of gossiping. Besides, maybe, just maybe, he’d tell Alessia about this part. After all, it was possible just to retell part of his story. It had worked well with her brother. With that thought in mind, Jam went to bed, almost smiling.

The morning was slow, and Aly walked along the walls of her café. She had read those quotes times and times again, yet she loved each and every one of them. It didn’t matter if they were from Airicka Phoenix, an indie author sadly not enough people knew, or Shakespeare, who everyone knew. She loved them all and, by now, could recite each one to perfection.

“I didn’t even think about the fact that today is Monday. How can you let Lesso stay over at someone else’s place on a school night?” Aly turned, disappointment and anger churning in her stomach.

“Good morning to you, too, Jamison Loane! How dare you come in like that after last night?” she asked, outrage evident in her voice. “It obviously was nice enough to cuddle me and promise me a night when you never intended to give me that full night. Then again, in the morning everything looks different. Oh, you didn’t even
wait
until morning!” She was hurt, very much so, and didn’t care he suddenly tried to act like a father, even though that should bother her far more.

“Aly, you don’t understand –” 

“Of course, I don’t because you won’t tell me. No serious talk, remember? No asking questions. No nothing, Aly. You get to save my son and go to prison if they ever realize it, but you don’t get to have answers or a single night with me. So no, I don’t understand. And just FYI, your son has off today. The school has some teacher education thing, and he’s going to be …” The door jingled and Alessandro came in, beaming at her, totally ignoring his father. “ … here in no time,” she finished, kneeling to catch Lesso and hug him tight.

“Mom, Tom has this new book he really likes and his mom read it to us and we wrote down lines we liked most. Can I tape it to your wall? Please?”

“Of course, baby!” She laughed, wondering if he had even seen his father. 

“I want to place it on the top. Dad, can you pick me up?” He looked at him with big eyes, making his cute face. Aly crossed her arms, knowing very well how calculated the move was on his part. That face almost always got to her. 

“I’m gonna make you your cacao, okay?” she called, moving behind the counter and away from the two guys.

“Dad?” his son asked in a hushed voice, as Jam picked him up to set him down on his shoulder. Lesso never had been very good at whispering, though.

“Alessandro?” Jam gave back.

“Can you stop making Mom sad? I could hear it in her voice when I was outside. She never screams, and I don’t like my mom sad,” Alessandro explained while pulling off some tape. Aly closed her eyes, regretting that she had fussed at Jam there. She should have anticipated her son’s arrival.

“I didn’t mean to make her sad,” Jam said quietly.

“Why did you then?” Jam lowered him back to the ground and then knelt to his level.

“Because I’m scared.” Alessandro actually blinked and then started a carefree and heart-warming laugh as only little boys could.

“You are scared of
her
?” her son asked, and she saw from the corner of her eye how he pointed a thumb over his shoulder at her.

“I have secrets, and I worry your mom will find out about them. Then she won’t like me anymore,” Jam gave back so quietly, Aly wasn’t sure she had heard right.

Alessandro leaned in. “She’s very good at that. I once tried to keep a fish Tom and I caught. I wanted to make sure she doesn’t realize I have him and she found out. She was really mad at me. But she still loves me.”

“He forgot that fish needed to eat … and that you don’t keep them in the fridge.”

She knew Alessandro made a face at Jam, most likely rolling his eyes. “Are you supposed to do that, young man?” 

“Sorry, Mom,” he called over his shoulder and then shrugged. “I broke a window once with her favorite bottle perfume. She still loves me,” he went on explaining, and Jam’s eyes got wide. Aly wasn’t pretending to be busy any longer. She was just curious.

“All those things are not as bad as my secrets. Imagine how it would be if you were the reason your mom lost everything. You wouldn’t have a home anymore, and she wouldn’t have the café any longer. That’s how bad my secret is.”

“Mom would still love me. We once started from scratch, so we can do it again.” Alessandro shrugged.

Oh God, Aly loved her son.

Jam wanted to cry. Alessia had made sure her son knew she’d never give up on him and that she’d never, in her entire life, stop loving him. It was all a child could ask for and everything a father could hope.

“Hey, Dad?” Alessandro leaned in even closer, and Jam could smell the jellybeans on his breath. Oh, Aly wouldn’t like that at all.

“Yes?” 

“Mom always liked you. She never stopped. Even when you didn’t come to see us. I sometimes see her holding a picture of you. She’s having white grape juice, and she keeps staring at it. I really think she’d be less mad if you’d just come out with your secrets. It works best for me. She’s always telling me that honesty wins you more points. Promise.” His son gave him a beaming smile and then nodded toward Aly. She was watching them now, and Jam knew she’d get behind his secrets, too, if he stayed, so he made a decision then and there.

“Okay, I’ll be honest. I have to go back home tomorrow. I can’t stay any longer, but I see you and your mom have a great life. You can always call me,” he explained and then looked up at Alessia. “I’m sorry for making you mad.”

She just nodded, her expression hard. "So am I."

"But, Dad, you barely spent any time with me," Alessandro fussed, a stubborn pout making an appearance. 

"I know, buddy, but -"

"I understand. Work’s more important. Everything’s more important. Do you have another son down there? That's it, right? Another family. You have a new woman and son. That's why you don't stay with us!" The accusation was so unexpected; Jam couldn't do anything but gape at Aly. 

"Alessandro? What's up? Where did you get that crazy idea?" Aly wanted to know, coming around to take his son from him. It nearly killed Jam to see doubt on her face. She was buying into that theory even though she should know better.

"Tom's mom watched this show, and they took a guy in because he had two families." Lesso sobbed now, and Alessia pulled him into her arms, giving Jam a look to clearly solve the situation. Only Jam had no idea how.

"That's not true, son. I only have you," he said softly, but the little boy just buried his face deeper into Alessia's stomach.

"That's what he said, too. It doesn't matter. We didn't need you these last years, so Mom and I don't need you now!" 

"Baby, you've been so excited to meet your dad. Why are you being mean to him now?" Aly asked, desperation obvious in her voice and clear on her face.

"Because he upset you and because he doesn't want us. He's leaving again. Tomorrow. Mom, can you call Spence so he takes us to the movies again? Please?"

Jam got up, his heart aching. He knew his son was hurt, yet he couldn't help but realize another guy had done everything to win Aly, including dates with her and her son. 

"You don't like Spencer, baby. You've been fighting him every time he came over," Aly reminded her son, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I thought Dad would come one day and do those things. I thought Dad loved us even if he had to work a lot. I thought ..."

Jam didn't even wait to hear how that sentence ended. He couldn't listen to another word, so he stumbled out of the café. He heard Aly call out for him, but she never followed and he was glad about that. Numb, he returned to Dorly's house. He would give her porch that layer of paint he had promised, and then he'd tell the nice little lady he was leaving. 

His heart was racing in his ribcage, hurting with every unsteady beat, but Jam couldn't help it. He wasn't the father Alessandro needed, and he wasn’t the man Aly should want.