AJ's Salvation (4 page)

Aly hadn’t slept all night, so she was more than exhausted when her son jumped into the room with a happy scream at only six in the morning.

“Mom, come on, didn’t you want to make breakfast? What if my dad comes and he doesn’t get anything to eat?”

Aly groaned. “What if he comes at ten and won’t get anything because you and Tom ate it all?” She knew she wouldn’t get any more sleep if she thought about the fact that Jam had promised to drop by but getting up at that hour wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to do, either.

Her son settled down on the mattress next to her, looking thoughtful. “Cold pancakes are sure good, too.” She had to chuckle. It was true; Lesso loved pancakes even if they were not freshly made.

“But is that what you want your father to remember about us? We promised him breakfast and then had it without him?” she probed, and her son shook his head.

“No. I want him to love having breakfast with us. I know he works hard to make this great, but don’t you like our life? I don’t think there’s need for him to work any longer, Mom. Maybe you could try and make him stay?” The hope in Alessandro’s eyes almost made her heart crack. She couldn’t promise to hold Jam. She never had been able to capture his attention, so there was no chance for her to get him to stay. Besides, she needed to find out why he had come before she’d promise her son anything at all.

“Our life is perfect just the way it is,” she agreed. “How about we take this slow, Alessandro? Breakfast is a start, and then we’ll see where things go from there, okay? Why don’t you and Tom watch some cartoons while I prepare some coffee?” she suggested.

Instantly, her son’s eyes lit up. “You’re allowing us to watch cartoons?” Usually, she hated placing the kids in front of the TV, especially when Tom was over, but that morning she just didn’t have the nerve to keep them busy. She’d get up, start her coffee, and then enjoy a few minutes on the porch. Gazing at the water always calmed her, and that was what she needed most.

“Go ahead, but only until breakfast is over. Then you’ll go and play outside.” 

“Aww, Mom!” Lesso planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek and then hurried from the bedroom, already calling for his friend. Aly got up and slipped into her favorite sweatpants, pulling her hair into a messy bun before putting on one of her brother’s hoodies. She hadn’t kept much from the stuff at home, but those were the most comfortable clothes she could imagine, and comfortable was what made her feel safe.

She skipped the shoes, burying her feet in the cold sand while walking close to the water’s edge. Aly closed her eyes as the waves washed around her feet. The coolness cleared some of the webs from her head, making her smile.

“You have an early day,” she heard, looking up to find a jogger coming closer. She recognized that grin easily. 

“Spence, hey.” She smiled, waiting until he was close enough.

“Lesso has Tom over again, and they kinda thought it was okay to get up at six on a Sunday morning. I needed some air and decided to come out here.” Spencer was a guy she had occasionally been seeing. Even though he was nice and quite good-looking with sandy hair and blue eyes, he had nothing on the guy she saw every time she looked at her son.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you out this early. I was wondering if you had moved away. After all, your phone doesn’t seem to be working, either.” He cocked a brow, and Aly rubbed her neck in embarrassment. She had seen his calls and always wanted to call back, but she had to admit it always slipped her mind.

“I promise I wanted to call you, but then something always came up, and then something else… and I forgot,” she confessed. The truth was she worried he’d get touchy. Every time they had been out, he had been nothing but respectful, but a guy wouldn’t wait forever, right?

“Why don’t you and me – ” 

“Mom! Come on! I’m hungry! Please?” her son called as the screen door banged behind him. She turned away from Spence and looked at her son. 

“I thought we agreed to wait?” she called back, and her son shook his head.

“We don’t have to. He’s here,” he answered and then looked expectantly at her while she pressed her lips together.

“You’re having someone over for breakfast?” She could hear the crack in Spencer’s voice, and it made her feel guilty. Not that she had any reason to, since they weren’t an item, but she still knew the etiquette. Spence now surely thought she had gone behind his back to find someone else while keeping him on the back burner, just in case. 

“Little man, why don’t you and I go inside and start preparing? You know how to make pancakes, right?” Aly’s heart stopped as Jam, too, stepped out on the porch through her screen door, looking like a man who didn’t shy away from hard work. He had never been small, but over the last decade, he had clearly filled out well from manual labor. He didn’t look at her for long, just forced out a smile and a curt nod toward Spence then he picked up his son and walked back inside. They looked so good together it made her wish she could take a picture.

“Spencer, this is not what it looks like, I promise. How about I deal with the mess inside and then I’ll call you? There’s that movie we wanted to watch together. I’ll get Dorly to watch Alessandro and then you can pick me up and –” 

“That movie hasn’t been showing in weeks, Alessia. Don’t think I didn’t see that look in your eyes when you saw him,” Spencer said quietly, and she reached out to touch his arm, only to pull back at the last second. “We’ve been going out for weeks, and I have never once set foot in that house, yet he … who is he even?”

“Mom, you can’t let Dad do all the work! We invited him for breakfast!” Alessandro called from behind the screen door and then vanished again.

“Oh, wow, that explains a lot,” Spence grumbled. 

“No, it doesn’t. Spencer, I really wish I could explain this whole thing to you, but I can’t. Let me call you and we’ll have dinner. I’ll cook and …” She trailed off. Even if they sat down, she couldn’t tell him all about this complicated situation. He’d forever assume she had slept with Jamison, and she couldn’t ever correct him.

“It’s okay, Alessia. There was always something standing between us. Get this over with, solve the issue with him, and then, whenever you’re truly free, come and see me,” Spencer pleaded, framing her face to kiss her forehead. 

Aly closed her eyes, wondering if this ‘issue’ could ever fully resolve.

Jamison had wanted to call out to Aly, but just then, the guy leaned in and kissed her forehead. Jealousy burned through Jam hot and bright, making him grind his teeth.

“That’s Spencer. He wants to be Mom’s friend, but she doesn’t like to play with him, so she never lets him into the house. And when she’s on the phone with him, she always says she has to work.” Alessandro stood next to him, also watching the two outside.

“Don’t you want your mom to be happy?” Jam asked and then watched his son’s reaction. 

“Mom’s happy when she can have a coffee with that syrup thing she likes. It’s in the cupboard. And she’s happy when she can make pancakes for Tom and me.” He said this with a nod and then turned back around while Jam realized Aly was returning to the house.

“Next time you feel like spying on me, try to remember that windows work both ways,” she snapped defensively as she passed him, making him grin. Somewhere in that womanly shell, she hid the girl he once knew.

“I’m sorry. I brought flowers,” he pointed out, nodding toward the bouquet that lay on the counter. She turned to him, cocking her head while pushing her hip out. 

“And that makes everything better, huh?” she asked, a smile playing over her lips.

“It got me inside just like Alessandro said it would.” He grinned sheepishly, and she shook her head. 

“You wanna hear what I think? It was the chocolate that gained you entry,” Aly accused, and he wasn’t the slightest bit surprised she had caught on so quickly. “Are you supposed to have chocolate before breakfast?” she then asked her son, and Jam watched as Alessandro looked at Aly with a trembling lip.

“I just took one piece, Mom, I swear,” he mumbled, and she knelt down, wiping the obvious evidence from the corner of his mouth. 

“Technically, seeing as it’s Jam’s fault you’re breaking my rules, I guess he should take the punishment for it, huh?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye. As much as Jam wanted to protest, the serious expression with which his son turned to him made him laugh out loud.

“I’m sorry, Dad, but she’s right.” 

Jam sobered, biting back his grin, and looked at his son. “What’s the punishment for eating before you should?”

“You’re the last one to get a pancake. And you need to help her prepare and wash up afterward with her. You can’t play until Mom’s ready,” Alessandro announced as if it was the end of the world. 

“No, really? I hate cleaning up,” Jam fussed. Lesso leaned in as if he was going to share a secret, so Jamison bent down.

“I hate it, too. Usually, if I’m really nice and tell her I love her, then I get out of it,” he explained conspiratorially. 

“Good suggestion,” Jam replied with a grin. 

“Stop whispering,” Aly scolded, placing her hands on her hips. She looked serious, but Jamison knew her well enough to recognize the signs of amusement on her face. “Jamison, you have been a bad boy, so you need to help me prepare. Up,” she went on, pointing at him with a threatening finger. As much as he loved being around his son, he couldn’t deny that he wanted a few moments alone with the woman who had saved the little boy all those years ago.

 He joined her in the kitchen where he and Alessandro had already taken out everything they would need to prepare the batter. “He calls me dad as if it’s the most normal thing in the world,” he whispered, and she nodded, breaking the eggs while licking her lips.

“For him, it is,” she finally admitted, and he leaned back against the wall, watching her in silence for a moment as he waited for her to continue. “When I left, I wondered what I should tell him. But I figured I should stay as close to the truth as possible. As soon as he was old enough, I started to tell him about you. Greg always sent pictures of you and him doing things together, and I would point you out. At some point, it simply became a tradition. He was sure you’d come by one day. He knows everything about you that I know.” She wasn’t looking at him, but he could tell her mind wasn’t on the task at hand. She spilled nothing, though, apparently having prepared breakfast like this more than once.

“In the beginning, I thought you’d show and try to take him back. Or that they would figure it all out. No matter what I feared, though, I wanted Alessandro to be an open, happy child. I taught him always to be friendly to people yet never go with anyone. His teachers think he’s the most polite kid out there. I don’t know what you’d want your son to learn, but I figured respecting women and being a sweet kid was all a dad could ask for.” Her voice was quivering. He reached for her, but she avoided his touch.

“You did everything just the way I hoped you would.” His throat felt thick as she looked up.

“He has so much of you, you wouldn’t believe it. He’s a hit with the ladies, especially the ones he wants something from. During summer, there’s an ice-cream stand down the road. I allow him ice cream two days a week. Sadly, he knows how to talk to that lady, so he always gets one for free. He has your strong mind and happy demeanor. Sometimes, when I see him …” She trailed off as if she had been close to saying something that wasn’t intended for his ears. As it was, he had heard enough anyway. 

She had no idea about what was hidden beneath the face she had known for so long. A happy demeanor was something he no longer possessed. And if he would have the strong mind Aly obviously had admired back then, they’d never be where they were right then.

“Stop talking about me as if I’m someone amazing,” Jam barked, and Alessia’s head snapped up, total surprise on her face.

She meanwhile had taken out a pan and was flipping the food like a professional cook. He loved watching her, yet he wanted to leave. He shouldn’t be with her, yet he was unable to help but be proud of what his son had become.

“You and I may never have been close, as in best friends or lovers, but I’ve seen you. I’ve heard you. I’ve spent so much time watching you and listening to you that I know exactly what’s inside that handsome skin!” Her protest was lost on him. She knew nothing, but he wasn’t ready to comment on that any further. 

“How did you come up with his name?” He could tell he’d startled her with the topic change. He also realized he had taken on a rather aggressive stance, so he put a smile on and took a deep breath. She shook her head, confused, and he couldn’t blame her.

“I wanted him to have something from me. You and I know he’s not my child, but at least now he has a part of my name in him.”

Before Jam could comment on that, though, she had called the boys into the kitchen, making the serious talk instantly vanish. As it was, Jam couldn’t wait to just sit at a table and watch his son in action.