Alcatraz (54 page)

And he meant
everyone
.

When I first wrote this next section of the book, I tried to be very accurate and detailed.
Then I realized that’s just plain boring.
This is a story about evil Librarians, Teleporting Glass, and sword fights.
It’s not a book about dumb parties.
So, instead, I’m just going to summarize what happened next:

Person one: ‘Alcatraz, you’re so awesome!’

Me: ‘Yes, I know I am.’

The prince: ‘I always knew he was.
Have you read my latest book?’

Person two: ‘Alcatraz, you are more awesome even than yourself.’

Me: ‘Thank you.
I think.’

The prince: ‘He’s my buddy, you know.
I write books about him.’

This went on for the better part of an hour or so.
Only, it wasn’t boring for me at the time.
I enjoyed it immensely.
People were paying attention to me, telling me about how wonderful I was.
I actually started to believe I was the Alcatraz from Rikers’s stories.
It became a little hard to focus on why I’d come to the party in the first place.
Mokia could wait, right?
It was important that I get to know people, right?

Eventually, Prince Rikers brought me to the lounge, chatting about how they’d managed to make his books play music.
In the lounge, people sat in comfortable chairs, making small talk while they sipped exotic drinks.
We passed a large group of partygoers laughing together, and they seemed focused on someone I couldn’t see.

Another celebrity
, I thought.
I should be gracious to them – I wouldn’t want them to get jealous of how much more popular I am than they are
.

We approached the group.
Prince Rikers said, ‘And, of course, you already know this next person.’

‘I do?’
I asked, surprised.
The figure in the middle of the crowd of people turned toward me.

It was my father.

I stopped in place.
The two of us looked at each other.
My father had a large group of people doting on him, and most of them – I noticed – were attractive young women.
The types who wore gowns that were missing large chunks of cloth on the back or on the sides.

‘Attica!’
the prince said.
‘I must say, your son is proving to be quite a popular addition to the party!’

‘Of course he is,’ my father said, taking a sip of his drink.
‘He’s
my
son, after all.’

The way he said it bothered me.
It was as if he implied that all of my fame and notoriety were simply because of him.
He smiled at me – one of those fake smiles you see on TV – then turned away and said something witty.
The women twittered adoringly.

That completely ruined my morning.
When the prince tried to pull me away to meet some more of his friends, I complained of a headache and asked if I could sit down.
I soon found myself in a dim corner of the lounge, sitting in a plush chair.
The soft, whisperlike sounds of the crystal music floated over the buzz of chattering people.
I sipped some fruit juice.

What right did my father have to act so dismissive of me?
Hadn’t
I
been the one to save his life?
I’d grown up inside the Hushlands, oppressed by the Librarians, all because
he
wasn’t responsible enough to take care of me.

Of all the people in the room, shouldn’t he be the one who was most proud of me?

I should probably say something to lighten the tone here, but I find it hard.
The truth was that I didn’t feel like laughing, and I don’t really think
you
should either.
(If you must, you can imagine the butler in his underpants again.)

‘Alcatraz?’
a voice asked.
‘Can we join you?’

I looked up to find Folsom and Himalaya being held back by the servant left to guard me.
I waved for him to let them pass, and they took seats near me.

‘Nice party,’ Folsom said in an overly loud voice.
‘I give it four out of five wineglasses, though the finger food only rates a one and a half.’

I made no comment.

‘Did you find what you were looking for?’
Folsom asked in a loud voice.
His ears were still stuffed with cotton for some reason.

Had I found what I was looking for?
What had I been looking for?
Librarians
, I thought.
That’s right
.
‘I didn’t see any Librarians around.’

‘What do you mean?’
Himalaya said.
‘They’re all over the place.’

They were?
‘Er .
.
.
I mean, I didn’t see them doing anything nefarious.’

‘They’re up to something,’ Himalaya said.
‘I bet you anything.
There are a
lot
of them here.
Look, I made a list.’

I looked over with surprise and embarrassment as she handed me a sheet of paper.

‘They’re listed by their Librarian sect,’ she said, somewhat apologetically.
‘Then by age.
Then, uh, by height.’
She glanced at Folsom.
‘Then by blood type.
Sorry.
Couldn’t help it.’

‘What?’
he asked, having trouble hearing.

I scanned the list.
There were some forty people on it.
I really
had
been distracted.
I didn’t recognize any of the names, but –

I cut off as I read a name near the bottom of the list.
Fletcher
.

‘Who is this?’
I demanded, pointing at the name.

‘Hum?’
Himalaya asked.
‘Oh.
I only saw her once.
I don’t know which of the orders she belongs to.’

‘Show me,’ I said, standing.

Himalaya and Folsom rose and led me through the ballroom.

‘Hey, Alcatraz!’
a voice called as we walked.

I turned to see a richly dressed group of young men waving at me.
One of those at their lead, a man named Rodrayo, was a minor nobleman the prince had introduced me to.
Everyone seemed so eager to be my friend; it was difficult not to join them.
However, the name on that list – Fletcher – was too intimidating.
I waved apologetically to Rodrayo, then continued with Himalaya.

A few moments later, she laid a hand on my shoulder.
‘There,’ she said, pointing at a figure who was making her way out the front doors.
The woman had dyed her hair dark brown since I’d last seen her, and she wore a Free Kingdomer gown instead of her typical business suit.

But it was her: my mother.
Ms.
Fletcher was an alias.
I felt a sudden sense of shame for getting so wrapped up in the party.
If my mother was in the city, it meant something.
She was too businesslike for simple socializing; she was always plotting.

And she had my father’s Translator’s Lenses.

‘Come on,’ I said to Folsom and Himalaya.
‘We’re following her.’

8

O
nce there was a boy named Alcatraz.
He did some stuff that was kind of interesting.
Then one day, he betrayed those who depended on him, doomed the world, and murdered someone who loved him.

The end.

Some people have asked me why I need multiple volumes to explain my story.
After all, the core of my argument is very simple.
I just told it to you in one paragraph.

Why not leave it at that?

Two words: Summarizing sucks.

Summarizing is when you take a story that is complicated and interesting, then stick it in a microwave until it shrivels up into a tiny piece of black crunchy tarlike stuff.
A wise man once said, ‘Any story, no matter how good, will sound really, really dumb when you shorten it to a few sentences.’

For example, take this story: ‘Once there was a furry-footed British guy who has to go throw his uncle’s ring into a hole in the ground.’
Sounds dumb, doesn’t it?

I don’t intend to do that.
I intend to make you experience each and every painful moment of my life.
I intend to prove how dreadful I am by talking about how awesome I am.
I intend to make you read through a whole series before explaining the scene in which I started the first book.

You remember that one, right?
The one where I lay tied to an altar made from encyclopedias, about to get sacrificed by the Librarians?
That’s when my betrayal happened.
You may be wondering when I’m finally going to get to that most important point in my life.

Book five.
So there.

‘So who is this person we’re following?’
Folsom asked, pulling the cotton from his ears as we left the prince’s castle.

‘My mother,’ I said curtly, glancing about.
A carriage was leaving, and I caught a glance of my mother’s face in it.
‘There.
Let’s go.’

‘Wait,’ Folsom said.
‘That’s
Shasta Smedry
?’

I nodded.

He whistled.
‘This could get dangerous.’

‘There’s more,’ Himalaya said, catching up to us.
‘If what I heard in there is true, then
She Who Cannot Be Named
is going to be arriving in the city soon.’

‘Wait, who?’
I asked.

‘I just told you,’ Himalaya said.
‘She Who Cannot Be Named.
The Librarians aren’t satisfied with how the treaty negotiations are proceeding, so they decided to bring in a heavy hitter.’

‘That’s bad,’ Folsom said.

‘She Who Cannot Be Named?’
I asked.
‘Why can’t we say her name?
Because it might draw the attention of evil powers?
Because we’re afraid of her?
Because her name has become a curse upon the world?’

‘Don’t be silly,’ Himalaya said.
‘We don’t say her name because nobody can pronounce it.’

‘Kangech .
.
.’
Folsom tried.
Kangenchenug .
.
.
Kagenchachsa .
.
.

‘She Who Cannot Be Named,’ Himalaya finished.
‘It’s easier.’

‘Either way,’ Folsom said, ‘We should report back to Lord Smedry – this is going to get very dangerous, very quickly.’

I snorted.
‘It’s no more dangerous than when I testified against the Acrophobic English Teachers of Poughkeepsie!’

‘Uh, you didn’t actually do that, Alcatraz,’ he pointed out.
‘That was in one of the books Rikers wrote.’

I froze.
That’s right.
I’d been talking about it with the prince, but that didn’t change the fact that it hadn’t ever actually happened.

It
also
didn’t change the fact that Shasta’s carriage was quickly disappearing.
‘Look,’ I said, pointing.
‘My grandfather put you in charge of watching the Librarians in the city.
Now you’re going to let one of the most infamous ones get away without following?’

‘Hum,’ he said.
‘Good point.’

We rushed down the steps and toward the carriages.
I picked a likely one, then hopped up into it.
‘I’m commandeering this vehicle!’
I said.

‘Very well, Lord Smedry,’ said the driver.

I hadn’t expected it to be that easy.
You should remember that we Smedrys are legal officers of the government in Nalhalla.
We’re able to commandeer pretty much anything we want.
(Only doughnuts are outside our reach, as per the Doughnut Exemption act of the eighth century.
Fortunately, doughnuts don’t exist in the Free Kingdoms, so the law doesn’t get used much.)

Folsom and Himalaya climbed into the carriage after me, and I pointed at Shasta’s disappearing vehicle.
‘Follow that carriage!’
I said in a dramatic voice.

And so, the driver did.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a city carriage before, but they travel at, like, two miles an hour – particularly during afternoon traffic.
After my rather dramatic and heroic (if I do say so myself) proclamation, things took a decidedly
slow
turn as our driver guided the horses out onto the street, then clopped along behind Shasta’s vehicle.
I felt more like I was out on a casual evening drive than part of a high-speed chase.

I sat down.
‘Not very exciting, is it?’

‘I’ll admit, I was expecting more,’ Folsom said.

At that moment, we passed a street performer playing a lute on the side of the road.
Himalaya reached for Folsom, but it was too late.
My cousin stood up in a quick motion, then jumped up onto the back of the carriage and began doing expert kung fu moves.

‘Gak!’
I said, diving for the floor as a karate chop narrowly missed my head.
‘Folsom, what are you doing?’

‘It’s his Talent,’ Himalaya said, scrambling down beside me.
‘He’s a bad dancer!
The moment he hears music, he gets like this.
It—’

We passed the street performer and Folsom froze mid-swing, his foot mere inches from my face.
‘Oh,’ he said, ‘terribly sorry about that, Alcatraz.
My Talent can be a bit difficult at times.’

‘A bit difficult’ is an understatement.
Folsom once wandered into a ballroom dance competition.
He not only managed to trip every single person in the room but he also ended up stuffing one of the judges in a tuba.
If you’re wondering, yes, that’s why Himalaya had filled Folsom’s ears with cotton before letting him enter the party room.
It’s also why Folsom had removed the theme music glass from his copy of
Alcatraz Smedry and the Mechanic’s Wrench
.

‘Alcatraz!’
Himalaya said, pointing as we seated ourselves again.

I spun, realizing that my mother’s carriage had stopped at an intersection, and our carriage was pulling up right beside hers.
‘Gak!’
I said.
‘Driver, what are you doing?’

The driver turned, confused.
‘Following that carriage, like you said.’

‘Well, don’t let them
know
that we’re following them!’
I said.
‘Haven’t you ever seen any superspy movies?’

‘What’s a movie?’
the driver asked, followed by, ‘And .
.
.
what’s a superspy?’

I didn’t have time to explain.
I waved for Himalaya and Folsom to duck.
However, there just wasn’t enough room – one of us would have to sit up.
Would my mother recognize Folsom, a famous Smedry?
What about Himalaya, a rebel Librarian?
We were all conspicuous.

‘Can’t you two do something to hide us?’
Himalaya hissed.
‘You know, magic powers and all that.’

‘I could beat up her horse, if we had music,’ Folsom said thoughtfully.

Himalaya glanced at me, worried, and it wasn’t until that moment that I remembered that I was an Oculator.

Oculator.
Lens-wielder.
I had magic glasses, including the ones my grandfather had given me earlier.
I cursed, pulling out the purple ones he’d called Disguiser’s Lenses.
He’d told me to think of something, then look at someone, and I would appear to be that thing.
I slid the Lenses on and focused.

Himalaya yelped.
‘You look like an old man!’

‘Lord Smedry?’
Folsom asked, confused.

That wouldn’t do.
Shasta would recognize Grandpa Smedry for sure.
I threw myself up into the seat and thought of someone else.
My sixth-grade teacher, Mr.
Mann.
I remembered, at the last minute, to picture him wearing a tunic like he was from the Free Kingdoms.
Then I looked over at my mother, sitting in the next carriage.

She glanced at me.
My heart thumped in my chest.
(Hearts tend to do that.
Unless you’re a zombie.
More on those later.)

My mother’s eyes passed over me without showing any signs of recognition.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the carriages started again.

Using the Disguiser’s Lenses was more difficult than any others I’d used before.
I got a jolt if my shape changed forms, and that happened whenever I let my mind wander.
I had to remain focused to maintain the illusion.

As we continued, I felt embarrassed at taking so long to remember the Disguiser’s Lenses.
Bastille often chastised me for forgetting that I was an Oculator, and she was right.
I still wasn’t that used to my powers, as you will see later.

(You’ll notice that I often mention ideas I’m going to explain later in the book.
Sometimes I do this because it makes nice foreshadowing.
Other times, I’m just trying to annoy you.
I’ll let you decide which is which.)

‘Do either of you recognize where we are?’
I asked as the carriage ‘chase’ continued.

‘We’re approaching the king’s palace, I think,’ Folsom said.
‘Look, you can see the tips of the towers.’

I followed his gesture and saw the white peaks of the palace.
On the other side of the street, we passed an enormous rectangular building that read in big letters
ROYAL ARCHIVES
(
NOT A LIBRARY
!) on the front.
We turned, then rolled past a line of castles on the back side of the street.
My mother’s carriage turned as if to round the block again.
Something seemed wrong.

‘Driver, catch up to the carriage up there,’ I said.

‘Indecisive today, aren’t we?’
the driver asked with a sigh.
At the next intersection, we rolled up beside the carriage, and I looked over at my mother.

Only, she wasn’t there.
The carriage held someone who
looked
a little like her, but wasn’t the same woman.
‘Shattering Glass!’
I cursed.

‘What?’
Folsom asked, peeking up over the lip of the carriage.

‘She gave us the slip,’ I said.

‘Are you sure that’s not her?’
Folsom asked.

‘Um, yeah.
Trust me.’
I might not have known she was my mother at the time, but ‘Ms.
Fletcher’ had watched over me for most of my childhood.

‘Maybe she’s using Lenses, like you,’ Himalaya said.

‘She’s not an Oculator,’ I replied.
‘I don’t know if she knew she was being followed, but she somehow got out of that carriage when we weren’t looking.’

The other two got up off the floor, sitting again.
I eyed Himalaya.
Had she somehow tipped off my mother that we were following?

‘Shasta Smedry,’ Himalaya said.
‘Is she a relative of yours, then?’

‘Alcatraz’s mother,’ Folsom said, nodding.

‘Really?’
Himalaya said.
‘Your mother is a recovering Librarian?’

‘Not so much on the “recovering” part,’ I said.
The carriage bearing the look-alike stopped and let her off at a restaurant.
I ordered our driver to wait so we could watch, but I knew we wouldn’t learn anything new.