Alex (26 page)

I’m left empty.

Sutton stares at me, the twinkling lights from the Christmas tree dancing in her eyes. She’s not waiting for the words to come back to her. I know this because I see no expectation or disappointment in her gaze. I only see love, and care, and tenderness. I only see her waiting for me to accept her gift with absolutely no assumption that she’s going to get something in return.

She’s the most fucking amazing and selfless person I’ve ever met, and it has never been more clear that I am the most unworthy person for her.

I should let her go…right now, right this very minute.

But I’m a selfish bastard and I’m not going to do it. I’m going to keep her until I’m ready to destroy her, and then I’ll just add that to the pile of guilt I’m already suffering under.

“Stop fidgeting,” Alex tells me. “You look nervous.”

“You’re fidgeting too,” I point out dryly.

“That’s because I’m nervous. I don’t do shit like this.”

Laughing, I hook my arm through his elbow and we wind our way through the party guests. “It will be fine. Just smile, make small talk and drink a few beers to relax.”

Alex is admittedly nervous because he doesn’t socialize with his teammates. Or, at least he hasn’t in the past. I’m definitely nervous because this is the first time I’m meeting the rest of the team and their significant others, and I feel like a spotlight is on me. Especially since I know Alex’s former flame was transparent in her quest to land a hockey husband. I just don’t want anyone to think that about me.

Kelly and Mike Malone are having an Ugly Christmas Sweater party. This is apparently the second year they’ve hosted it and it’s adults only. According to Alex, it’s one of the few times the team gets together sans children and parties it up hard. He’s already assured me he is designated driver, which doesn’t surprise me, and he’s told me to tie one on if I want. Alex rarely drinks more than two beers, and I have to wonder if that’s because of his father’s problems.

We wind our way through the throng and into the kitchen where an entire bar of wine, beer and every liquor on the face of the earth is set out. Kelly is standing there with a group of women and when she sees me her face lights up.

Coming around the kitchen island, she reaches her arms out for a hug. “Sutton…I’m so glad you came. And your sweater is a hoot.”

Looking down briefly and then stepping into her hug, I give a grin. My sweater is pretty hideous. It’s bright red and green with an embroidered fruitcake on the front and a red bow that’s made of some type of shaggy red material that poofs out across my chest. Alex took one look at me when he picked me up and demanded I change. I told him to kiss my butt—it was an Ugly Sweater party, after all.

After releasing me, Kelly turns to Alex and playfully punches him on his bicep. “How come you’re not wearing a sweater, Alex?”

“Uh…yeah, I don’t do ugly sweaters,” he says seriously and Kelly gives him a mock glare.

“Party pooper,” she says and then lays her palms on his shoulders and pushes him out of the kitchen. “Go. Find the boys. Go play and do whatever you boys do together. I’m stealing Sutton.”

Alex doesn’t budge at first and shoots a panicked look to me. He really doesn’t want to be here but is making the effort to be sociable. I know he’d feel more comfortable with me by his side. I almost feel sorry for him, but then realize that this will be a good learning experience.

Giving him a little wave with my hand, I say, “Shoo. Go play.”

The look Alex gives me is priceless. It says,
The only playing I want to do is with you…in the bedroom.

But he takes it like a man, shoots me a grimace as he grabs a bottle of beer out of a large ice bucket on the kitchen floor and leaves.

Kelly takes my arm and turns me around to the gaggle of women hovering. She makes introductions and I’m relieved that everyone is gracious and warm. There’s the team captain’s wife, Mely Brassard, a petite Midwestern former college cheerleader who has plenty of pep and feels it’s her duty to cheer on all of the players’ wives and girlfriends. I like her immensely and you can see she’s sort of the glue that holds them together. There’s also Karen Something-Or-Other, who I think said her husband is the backup goalie; Becky Couldn’t-Pronounce-Her
-Last-Name-If-I
-Tried, whose husband is from the Czech Republic; and Gina Toast—yes, Toast—who is like me, just a girlfriend of one of the players, but has been around for a very long time. She’s been dating Zack Grantham, a second-line left-winger, for six years and they have a two-year-old son together.

“I cannot tell you how happy I am to see Alex dating,” Mely says with a brilliant smile and a punctuated, singsong voice. Almost like she was—you guessed it—doing a cheer.

“He’s always just been so withdrawn. I know he comes off as angry and a jerk most of the time, but I always found it sad,” Kelly throws in.

“Zack idolizes him,” Gina says softly. “Always has. But lately, Alex has really been working with him and has been so supportive, Zack pretty much thinks the sun rises and sets on Alex. He’s a completely different person now.”

“I think we have you to thank for that,” Mely says.

“Absolutely,” Becky throws in and then leans forward and lowers her voice a bit. All the women, including me, lean in to hear her tidbit. “Besides, that bitch Cassie was all wrong for him.”

All the women vigorously nod their heads up and down and I’m starting to understand the dislike for Cassie is pretty pervasive throughout the team.

“Well, at least you won’t have to worry about her anymore,” I say, hoping that now that Alex’s gaze is turned my way, Cassie is a thing of the past.

“Whatever,” Kelly says with mock dismissiveness. “That girl is already on the prowl again. All the single guys on our team are within her crosshairs.”

“She tried to fucking hit on Zack tonight,” Gina growls. “I hate to tell the bitch but just because we aren’t married doesn’t mean he’s available.”

“She’s here?” I ask, swallowing hard. Not for one minute do I believe she’s ready to give up on Alex, all the other single guys be damned. She has history with Alex and I remember all too clearly the possessiveness she exhibited when I had the misfortune to meet her.

“Yeah, I saw her trolling around a while ago,” Kelly laments. “I just wished I was bitchy enough to insist she not come.”

“Well, I can guarantee you I’ll blackball her from any future parties Zack and I have,” Gina says.

“Blackball who?” I hear from behind me and turn to see a ruggedly handsome man walk into the kitchen. He’s tall—but then again, all of the Cold Fury are—with amber eyes and warm brown hair that is worn fairly short. He’s looking straight at Gina with a look that says he wants to eat her for dinner, and a semi-licentious smile on his face.

I watch as he walks around the kitchen island counter, straight up to Gina, and bends her backward with a kiss. “Who you blackballing, baby?”

When Zack lets her up, Gina is all starry-eyed as she stares at her man, her fingertips gripping hard at the tremendously ugly sweater he’s wearing. It has a huge reindeer face with buckteeth, done in bright green.

“Talking about Cassie,” Kelly supplies, because Gina has apparently been struck stupid from Zack’s kiss.

“That woman is a mess,” Zack says good-naturedly, oblivious to the catty looks the rest of the women are giving as they all nod in agreement. Turning to Gina, he asks, “You ready to head home?”

“What? We just got here,” she says in surprise.

“I know,” he says with sexy charm oozing out of his pores. “But since we have a babysitter all night, I figured we could…you know, get some alone time.”

Gina’s face goes beet red but she doesn’t hesitate in turning back to the kitchen counter and grabbing her purse. “We’re out of here,” she says to all of us. Turning to me in particular, she says, “It was lovely to meet you, Sutton. Let’s plan on getting together soon, okay?”

“Sure,” I tell her with a smile, and think to myself that I wouldn’t mind if Alex came up right now to whisk me away. While I’m absolutely enjoying these women, nothing compares to alone time with Alex.

Speaking of which, I decide to go on the prowl for a black-haired, blue-eyed devil that I’m feeling the need to kiss. While the women all give hugs goodbye to Gina, I whisper to Kelly that I’m going to go find Alex and she gives me a wink before I walk away.

Leaving the sounds of soft Christmas music behind, I start heading toward a cacophony of loud male shouts and laughter, through a door off the main hallway and down a flight of stairs into the basement. In Mike Malone’s man cave, decorated with Cold Fury memorabilia from top to bottom, I find Alex sitting at a bar with Garrett and a few other players I recognize but whose names I can’t place. He’s laughing at something Garrett said, his eyes crinkled in genuine happiness and camaraderie. It makes my stomach flutter a bit to see him so loose and relaxed around his teammates because I know that has been a work in progress.

I wind my way through the crowd, eyes pinned on Alex. When I get within ten feet, it’s like he senses me because he turns three-quarters of the way around on the stool he’s sitting on and lasers his eyes onto me. One corner of his mouth tilts up and his gaze slides over me like a warm blanket.

We stare at each other as I walk his way, even as Garrett is trying to say something to Alex, who is completely ignoring him. I vaguely notice as Garrett actually punches Alex on the arm to get his attention, but he remains neglected.

Then Alex is on his feet and with one step meets me the rest of the way, and I’m in his arms. He leans down to give me a soft kiss on my lips and I can hear Garrett and the other guys making snide remarks in the background. Even as Alex’s lips start to pull back from mine, his hand comes up and he slides his fingers along to the side of my neck, his thumb grazing my jawline.

He looks at me with a smile. “Have enough female bonding time?”

“It was great,” I tell him in a teasing tone. “Not as much fun as bonding time with you, but still enjoyable.”

I didn’t mean for my remark to mean anything other than a lighthearted poke at our insatiable desire for each other. But Alex takes it in a different way and I know this because of the fevered look that he gives me.

“Bonding time,” he muses, his voice smoky and rich and full of promise, and I want nothing more than to leave with him right now to let him fulfill said avowal. His thumb continues to graze my jaw, and he’s lost in thought at what I’m assuming is a reverie of what we could do during some serious bonding time.

“I’d kill to know what’s going through that mind of yours right now,” I whisper so only he can hear me.

His eyes search mine, flicking back and forth as if pondering the very deepest mystery. “How about I show you instead?”

Without waiting for me to answer, Alex’s hand falls away from my face and grabs hold of my elbow. He spins me away from his cronies and pushes me gently, but quickly, back toward the staircase that leads up to the main level of the Malone house.

We pass other partiers, who give us smiles and nods of the head. One person tries to stop Alex to talk to us but he half growls, half utters an apology and propels me forward. Down a hallway, up another staircase to the second floor, and right into the bathroom at the top of the landing.

Flicking on the light, he pushes me in and closes the door behind him, turning the lock with a click. When he turns around, his gaze is practically lecherous and my blood begins to boil.

“Are we having some bonding time?” I tease, thinking surely he wants a quick and hot make-out session where we won’t be disturbed.

Pushing away from the door, he stalks me…hunts me down. In just one step, he’s grabbing my shoulders and pulling me in for a punishingly hot kiss. Now this is what I’m talking about…quality bonding time.

Alex kisses me deeply, biting at my lower lip before ripping away. He spins me around quickly and pushes me toward the sink until my pelvis comes to rest up against it. The move startles me and I look in the mirror, gasping at his reflection staring at me.

His eyes are feral…his breathing already shallow. This is way more than just a kiss.

Dropping his arms down, he grabs at the material of my long, black skirt and slowly starts hiking it up my legs. I watch the progress in almost a dream-like state, my head cocked to the side in curiosity. The air is cool as it hits my skin and when the edge of the material hits the bottom of my panties, I raise my eyes up to the mirror to look at Alex. As if sensing me, his own gaze rises to meet mine in the reflection and he gives me a wicked smile that causes a shudder to run through me.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

He just arches an eyebrow at me, and yes, I know it was a stupid question.

“Just watch” is all he says.

And I do.

I watch as he pulls my skirt all the way up, bunching it around my waist.