Alice 1 (9 page)

I’m going to take Dr. Kinnie’s Advanced
Psychology of Adjustment class in the fall. Yes, he wrote the
textbook,
Psychological
Maps
.

CHAPTER 18

Arlene invited me for bacon and scrambled eggs.
I told her I found a job so won’t have any trouble paying the rent
and thanked her again for her kindness. She began to talk about the
men in her life. There haven’t been any for a while. Sometimes
she’s glad and sometimes she misses a man to care for her.

I did the dishes and asked if she knew a place
where I could get my hair done. There‘s one not far and she offered
to go with me. She needs her’s done, and a whole lot more. She’s a
mess.

At the beauty shop she decided my nails
needed a little help but I said no, maybe later. She assumed I
didn’t have the money and insisted on paying. She’s obviously not
rich. I have to find a way to get a little money in her life. Clean
her up. Maybe help her get a good man.

____________________

That fifth door on the left may or may not be
Karla’s office, no name plate. He was there in the afternoon. Told
him I wanted to give Arlene $80,000. without her knowing it came
from me.

He fired up his computer, which I imagine
accesses quite an impressive data base. It didn’t take long to come
up with a plan. Arlene has an Uncle Fred who never existed but died
anyway and left her $80,325.24. I gave him a check and he promised
to have her inheritance in the mail by tomorrow afternoon, from a
lawyer in Wisconsin.

____________________

I think I’ll explore spook groups around
Berkeley. They’ll be a lot of fun and I might even learn something.
There are a few meetings this evening posted on the bulletin
boards. How about the Hairy Women of Apollo? Women who call
themselves that can’t be all bad.

I came early to the meeting, held in one of the
women’s dorms, and watched the Hairy Women arrive, mostly lesbian.
They started with a chant accompanied by an Irish harp. Beautiful
harp, ugly chant. Then to business. Two women, one fat, one skinny,
stood up and reached for the sky, bescreeching and beseeching
Phoebus Apollo to descend upon them. Good Lord, what would they do
with Apollo? Aphrodite maybe, but Apollo? Whatever. Wish I could
materialize a big horny Apollo, and I mean BIG, but sadly I cannot.
But I can do the next best.

So there they are, two women in the center of
the room, arms raised, eyes closed, bescreeching and beseeching. My
Shadow finger rapidly tapped the clit of the fat one. Her eyes flew
open

and she screamed. Good Lord she’s sensitive.
Wasn’t she begging Apollo to descend upon her?

After she apologized and everything quieted
down, they bescreeched and beseeched some more. This time I tapped
the G-spot of the skinny one. She dropped to the floor and spread
her legs as wide as they could go, and her hips began to jerk. Her
eyes rolled back in her head as I tapped faster and faster. She
screamed “
Apollo
” twice and fainted. Phoebus Apollo was
pleased.

They had a lively discussion the rest of the
evening about the profound spiritual, ontological and metaphysical
significance of Apollo’s visit. I meekly suggested some of the
other ladies might also like to experience Apollo’s power, but
there were no takers. How sad. Imagine an all night orgy with a
God. I’d go for it, but Apollo’s Hairy Women are a little shy.

Oh my, oh my, what loud choruses of yells and
screams of shock and outrage from some of you super-sensitive,
super-refined, super-prissy ladies and gentlemen. How could I be so
rude, so crude. A shocked and angry woman even called me
uncouth!

Who you trying to kid?

I know what you do to yourself when no one’s
around.

And I got plenty of couth lady.

____________________

In the next week I passed the test for Psych.
156, and started reading the textbook for 281. There’s an awful lot
of padding in the first and second year textbooks. What a waste to
spend two whole years reading them. Beginning Neuroanatomy 281 is
an exception. Not much padding. Slow reading. Lots to memorize.

CHAPTER 19

No more sour puss. Arlene so enjoys mothering me
and said I needed a new wardrobe. I told her that if I’m careful,
by January I can begin to buy new clothes. My clothes are a bit
shabby, but her’s are old maid ugly. She has a nice figure, but
nobody would guess. I thought she was in her 40’s. Nope, early
30’s. I have a lot of work to do.

If the inheritance check is sent Special
Delivery, she’ll get it tomorrow.

____________________

I think I’ll look on the bulletin boards for
other psychic groups. The Hairy Women were a lot of fun. I’m pretty
sure the real psychics, if they’re around, do not advertize but I
might bump into a few slumming or looking for new recruits.

Ashara came skipping over while I was having
mid-morning coffee at the Bear’s Lair. Smacked a piece of paper on
the table, grabbed both donuts, and ran.

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE REVEALED

Yes, you have all read promises like that.
Our group is different. We know no secrets of the universe. Humans
are far too limited to know them. We explore the frontiers of human
abilities. If you would like to join the adventure come to Soder
Hall, room 121 on the evening of Dec. 4th at 7pm.

Well at least they’re humble and I have
nothing else to do this evening.

____________________

Soder Hall is on the wrong side of campus, not
where the elite live. As usual I got there a little early and
watched the crowd come in. Not much of a crowd. Humility doesn’t
sell in the psychic world. All young people except for a
well-dressed, white haired lady. I did my shy dance and they gave
me a warm welcome. The old lady, Cynthia Crowley, wasn’t the
leader, more like a mentor.

Gary led a short meditation to ground us and
clear our minds from the cares of the day. The agenda was
psychokinesis. He took out small pieces of paper and matchsticks,
and we tried to move them with our minds. Brought back memories of
my babyhood, so long ago.

Not much luck. Sometimes a small piece of paper
moved, but I suspect someone was breathing hard. Mrs. Crowley
suggested we slow down our minds even more, and led a meditation
that did a pretty good job of moving our brain waves from beta
toward alpha.

See.

I’m reading my textbooks.

It worked. Some were able to move the paper a
little, the match sticks just sat. So the Gift is not only
inherited but can be developed with hard work. Glad I was born
lucky. Sadly, when it came to my turn the paper didn’t even
flutter.

The group was so excited, tonight was obviously
a major breakthrough. I was tempted to help out a little but they
need honest feedback.

After the meeting Mrs. Crowley gave me a
piece of paper with an address and invited me to come to her home
tomorrow evening. Ashara is a greedy, sneaky little kid.

CHAPTER 20

The Special Delivery came as we were eating
breakfast. Yes, she shrieked as you would expect and came running
into the kitchen waving the check. At least for that magic moment
she looked young and beautiful. She thought her mother mentioned an
Uncle Fred but wasn’t sure.

She’s going to use the money to pay off the rest
of the mortgage and buy me clothes. She was so excited and I was
just as excited because I’ll make sure she buys clothes for herself
as well. I protested of course but she was very firm. I relented
but made her promise to add more ways to help around the house.

After breakfast we shopped all day. At first
she didn’t want to buy anything for herself, but I picked out a
cute, little outfit and she was shocked how nice she looks. No
problem after that.

____________________

The Crowleys live on the correct side of campus,
where the administrators and full professors have their little
cottages. I was surprised there wasn’t a butler with white gloves
showing me in, but no, Mrs. Crowley herself graciously led to the
sitting room. Mr. Crowley stood, shook hands, and we sat down
around a small table.

“Thank you so much for coming, Alice. Would you
like coffee or tea?”

“Coffee please, and thank you for inviting me.”
Coffee was poured and a silver tray with cookies and scones passed
around.

Yes, I know all about scones. The parents in one
of my foster homes were Scottish. Never liked scones much, except
when generously smeared with orange marmalade, and that marmalade
better be from Scotland.

Such a wonderful time when I was 15. My handsome
foster-father enlivened my life back then by generously sharing his
passion for scones and sex. He was a wonderful teacher, and I am so
grateful for the love, joy and scones we shared.

Oh my, another heresy to enrage the
righteous.

Would anyone like to
kiss my pretty
kitty
again?

“I watched your attempts to move the paper last
night and am a little puzzled. I sense you have the Gift.”

“I tried hard and was so surprised when others
succeeded. I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Yes, it can be quite a shock.”

“I hope you don’t mind,” Mr. Crowley began.
“This morning I talked to some friends at the University. Your
guidance counselor feels you have enormous academic potential and
have passed an amazing number of opt-out tests.”

“Mr. Taylor has been so helpful. I would never
have been able to pass those tests without his support and
guidance.” Maybe I’m buttering the bread a little thick.

“Mrs. Crowley and I are on the board of a
foundation that provides support for promising young students. You
apparently have limited resources. Would you be interested in
applying for a scholarship?”

“I don’t know, I have a part-time job now and
think I can make it. I’m grateful for your kindness but don’t like
to depend on others.”

“Very commendable. The primary reason financial
assistance is offered is to free students to devote full time to
their academic pursuits, rather than having to support themselves
with outside work. The assistance provided is the payment of
tuition and a modest monthly stipend.”

“Oh that would be so helpful. I do want to do
well, and it would be so much better if I could be full-time.”

“Good. Here is the application form. If you
apply by next week and are accepted, the foundation will take care
of your spring tuition and start your stipend the beginning of
January.”

“I am so grateful for your kindness. How can I
thank you?”

“By not being quite so guarded.”

“I don’t mean to be unfriendly. I’ve just
learned it’s best to be careful until I get to know people.”

“Fair enough, and you need to be careful,
Alice. You have the Gift and are wisely keeping it hidden. There
have been a number of deaths this past year, supposedly from heart
attacks. One was a close friend and had the Gift.”

____________________

About a block away from the Crowley’s I noticed
a guy following me. I turned right, he turned right. I turned left,
he turned left. I went around a corner, turned around, and waited.
When he peeked around the corner I waved and gave him a big smile.
He was startled, but quickly recovered and waved back. He’s in his
early twenties and doesn’t look like a mugger or pervert. His big
ears remind me of Dumbo, old Walt’s floppy eared little elephant
friend.

“Why are you following me?”

“Would you believe you’re the most gorgeous girl
I’ve ever seen?”

“No.”

“Ok. How about my girlfriend just dumped me and
I need female companionship real bad.”

“No.”

“How about I’m here to give you a warning.”

“Yes.”

“Jacob Crowley is the grandson of Aleister
Crowley, ‘666’, ‘the Great Beast’.”

“That sounds more interesting than frightening.
What’s the problem? Aleister’s grandson eats little girls on All
Saints Day?”

“Enjoy your sarcasm, the warning has been
given,” and started to walk away.

“Ok, ok, I’ll drop the sarcasm. You probably
won’t tell me but I’ll ask anyway. Who are you and why are you
warning me?”

“You’re right I won’t, and I really don’t care
if you live or die.”

“Then why are you warning me?”

“Not my idea.”

____________________

When I got back to Arlene’s I looked in the UC
Berkeley handbook and found that Dr. Jacob Crowley is the dean of
the faculty. I have no idea what the dean of the faculty does but
sounds impressive.

So I have two warnings, one from Dr. Crowley,
the grandson of the Great Beast, and one from Dumbo, a floppy eared
young man who doesn’t care if I live or die. Much too vague to know
how serious the danger so best talk to Karla. And I’ll visit the
Glacier Gang Christmas and reinforce the defense against the
Squeeze. They’re in Sarasota winters. Never been there but think
it’s on the west coast of Florida.

The two warnings are jacking up my paranoia and
I notice people watching and following me. Probably just phantoms
of my mind, but I’ve learned from my statistics textbooks you need
data to determine probability. I have no data.

I passed a couple of old trash cans in an
alley and flipped back to that smelly village on the bluff.