Alice Brown's Lessons in the Curious Art of Dating (41 page)

She pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her texts until she found the one from Ginny.

Trust your instincts, Alice
, it said
They’ve never been wrong before.

The trouble was, she didn’t know what her instincts were any more.

For the first time she wondered if she’d made a mistake in walking away from John and out of the restaurant. Maybe she should have heard him out, been open-minded, given things a go? Maybe she’d have got used to spending nights in on her own, waiting for him to come back from his dates with other women. Maybe, in the end, she’d have got used to the sharing. But no: in her heart she knew she never could. Some women might; they could be cool and rational and dispassionate about his job. But not Alice. Not the romanceaholic. She had far too active an imagination for that. Every time John left for work her mind would send her to hell and back.

Back in her flat she pulled off her coat and made her way to the kitchen, not bothering to turn on the lights. The curtains were still open and the full moon lit up the room. She filled the kettle and sat down at the kitchen table, exhausted. She was asleep before the kettle boiled.

Kate woke to something hard pressing on her tummy. Blearily she opened her eyes a fraction, blinking at the sunlight. She was confused; her bedroom didn’t get any morning sun. But as her eyes forced themselves open, Tommy’s bedroom came into view. She suddenly remembered where she was. And she suddenly remembered how she always woke up with totally terrible morning breath.

‘Morning, gorgeous!’ Tommy was sitting on the bed looking right at her. ‘I thought you might like this.’

‘Hi,’ Kate croaked, trying not to breathe out. She tried to remember where the bathroom was. Maybe Tommy would have some mouthwash. She sat up.

‘Ah-ah!’ Tommy cried out in warning, lifting a tray from Kate’s shifting tummy. A breakfast tray. ‘Watch the coffee! I thought you might like the fresh stuff. If I’d known I was having a guest I’d have got croissants in. But I didn’t, so you’ll have to make do with boiled egg and soldiers.’

‘Boiled egg and soldiers sounds great,’ Kate mumbled happily from behind her hand.

Tommy leaned forward, lowered Kate’s hand and kissed
her on the mouth. She grinned. He really did look gorgeous this morning in his boxer shorts and nothing else. The sun warmed his dark brown hair, lit up the bits of stubble on his face and made his eyes glitter. She looked at the sheen of the sunlight as it hit the muscles in his arms and danced on the hairs on his chest. She felt like hugging herself with happiness. Two weeks ago she didn’t even know this fantastic man existed; and now here she was, waking up in his bedroom, having amazing sex flashbacks and being served breakfast in bed.

‘I could get used to this,’ she smiled happily.

Tommy stretched out beside her, putting one arm around her shoulders whilst with the other he helped himself to toast.

‘Couldn’t have put it better myself,’ he grinned. ‘I think I’m going to like this having-a-girlfriend malarkey.’

Kate’s egg soldier stopped halfway between her plate and her mouth.

‘So I’m your girlfriend now, am I?’ she joked. Her body felt on high alert for his answer.

‘Isn’t it my duty to save you from the world of organized dating, with sharks like Steve chatting you up, peering down your shirt and plying you with gin and tonics?’ he grinned.

‘Well, when you put it like that . . .’

‘I’m just doing the gentlemanly thing.’

‘. . . it sounds like a tempting offer.’

‘What kind of man would I be if I just walked on by and left a damsel in distress? And Steve’s enough to cause considerable distress. And you’re quite some damsel!’

‘That’s so romantic!’

‘That’s me! The romance king! Haven’t you heard? We credit information salesmen are romance’s best-kept secret. You’ve got to pity those poor misguided women who find themselves saddled with boring, yacht-owning billionaires. They’re missing out on so much!’

‘Breakfast in bed, for starters.’

‘Exactly!’

And then Kate said something she never thought she’d hear herself say.

‘You know, breakfast in bed is all the romance I need.’

And she smiled happily at him.

‘Good, well, that’s sorted then!’ Tommy sealed the deal with a long, lingering kiss that made Kate’s stomach flip and her knees go wobbly even though she was lying down in bed.

‘Eat up, girlfriend!’ he laughed when he eventually came up for air. ‘Skinny minnies get thrown back to the sharks!’

Audrey breezed through the doors of Table For Two, a smile playing on her lips. For the second day in a row there was no sign of Alice’s bike, no eyesore to get the day off to a bad start. Audrey felt her spirits lift. She knew she should have taken her handbag to it years ago.

But although Alice’s bike was absent, sadly Alice wouldn’t be. She’d still be polluting the office with her moon face and bobbly jumper.
And
Audrey was now burdened with the headache of managing the online dating service, thanks to the unexpectedly early start to Hilary’s maternity leave.
And
John still hadn’t got in touch. But at least the bike was gone. It was a tiny glimmer of sunshine in her otherwise battleship-grey sky.

And then she noticed a man in Alice’s seat. It was Max Higgert, her classiest client.

‘Ms Cracknell,’ he greeted her apologetically. ‘I’m sorry to startle you. Bianca let me in. I was just, er. Well, I was just writing a quick note. For, ah, my mother. Whilst I waited for you.’

Audrey saw him slip a folded piece of pale-blue paper
into his pocket. Just behind him was the damp patch where Hilary’s waters had broken yesterday. She hoped Max hadn’t noticed. What if it smelt? What if the aroma of the amniotic fluid of one of her staff members had troubled Max’s sensitive architect nostrils? And she’d left such strict instructions to the cleaner that the stain should be tackled with every disinfectant on the market.

‘It’s always a pleasure to see you!’ she cried. ‘Do come into my office.’ She tried to usher him away from the damp patch.

‘No, I’m afraid it’s just a flying visit,’ Max said apologetically, not moving. ‘I just called in to say thank you and goodbye.’

‘Goodbye? Whatever for?’

Max grinned, suddenly looking like a little boy who’d just found a pound. ‘I’m taking myself off your books!’

‘But . . .’ Audrey started. Did this have something to do with Alice? she thought with a sudden fury. Is that why he’d been sitting at her desk?

‘I’m delighted to say that Table For Two has another success on its hands!’ Max beamed.

‘We do?’

‘Hayley!’

‘Hayley?’

‘Hayley Clarke. You matched me with her. Five foot four, blonde hair, a smile that lights up the room? The veterinary nurse?’

‘With the funny finger?’

‘Er, yes, I suppose so.’

‘So it worked?’ Audrey tried not to sound incredulous. ‘You and the veterinary nurse?’ She couldn’t believe a man of Max’s standing would be happy with a woman like that. She’d only made such a ridiculous match in the first place because Bianca had begged her to.

‘Worked? That’s an understatement!’ Max laughed happily. ‘Hayley’s the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. I feel like I’ve won the Lottery!’

‘Oh!’

‘I can’t thank you enough.’ Max beamed. ‘I’ve met the woman for me!’

‘Well, that’s wonderful,’ Audrey said gruffly, ‘but are you sure you wouldn’t like me to set you up with a few more dates? It’s just that we have so many’ – she managed to stop herself saying ‘better’ – ‘. . .
other
women interested in meeting you. I’m sure you’d find them quite delightful.’

‘And I’m sure they are! But they couldn’t be half as delightful as Hayley. Anyway, I just popped in to say thank you and to ask you to remove me from your books. I think Hayley has already had a word with Alice and done the necessary with her.’

‘I’ll bet she has,’ Audrey flashed darkly.

‘So, thank you and goodbye.’ Max held out his hand.

‘What, that’s it?’ Audrey blurted. ‘You’ve only just joined! We have a minimum membership period of three months, you know. I couldn’t possibly give you a refund.’

Max broke into a hearty laugh.

‘Every penny I spent finding Hayley was worth a thousand
more. I’m very grateful. I wouldn’t dream of asking for any money back!’

And he turned and left, leaving Audrey open-mouthed in the middle of the office. She couldn’t believe such a prize male client was leaving so soon. She’d hoped to spread him around her lady clients for another few months at least. And why on earth was he settling for a two-bit piece of council-estate fluff like Hayley the veterinary nurse when there were so many nice Penelope Huffingtons and Hermione Bolton-Kings around? Men were such fools. They didn’t know what was good for them.

She turned and headed into her office, cursing herself for not having had the presence of mind to ask him to recommend Table For Two to his single architect friends. They were just the kind of men she needed on her books. She didn’t notice the pale-blue square of paper that Max had slipped back onto Alice’s desk.