Alice stared at the fire.
“Come, let’s read,” said Rabbit.
The men sat down still chuckling at him, positioning themselves out of the way of the smoke that floated to the pink sky.
Alice had to find out how that fire started. She sat down next to Rabbit whose cock lay upon the log between his legs, but he seemed preoccupied with all the men chuckling at his expense.
“Why are they laughing at you?” she asked.
“Because you said you love me,” he replied.
“No I didn’t.”
“Oh, yes you did. You scientifically stated you’re in love with me.”
“No, I didn’t,” Alice insisted. “All I said was that you’re a clown.”
Rabbit made a gesture with his hand as if to say, “See?”
He must have seen Alice’s confusion in her face because he rolled his eyes and explained, “You said I’m a clown. All the world loves a clown. You are all the world to me. Ergo, you love me.”
Alice looked with a blank face. She blinked, then expelled a gust of laughter. Doubled over clutching her side, “Ow, ow!” The laughter brought pain.
Suddenly the men jumped to her, as a group. One shouted, “Quick! Get a splint!” Another clamped his hands on Alice’s side.
“Hey!” Alice shouted. “Back off!”
“We don’t want your side to split,” the man said clutching her waist.
“What?” Alice wriggled. “I’m fine! I’m fine!”
The men studied her face.
“You are?” Rabbit asked.
“Yes, now get off of me!”
The men let her go and sat back down on the surrounding logs bare-assed.
“Your splint, sir.” A man fully dressed in a tuxedo held out to Rabbit a piece of wood and long leaves.
Though the man dressed and spoke like a servant, and bowed like one, too, he didn’t look servant-y at all. He had a full lion’s mane of auburn hair and gorgeous blue eyes that looked vaguely familiar.
Rabbit looked up at him from his seated position with an annoyed expression. “We don’t need it anymore. Go away!”
“Yes, sir.” The servant bowed and then walked off.
“What was that all about?” Alice asked.
“You had side-splitting laughter,” Rabbit said. “You could have been hurt. Do you know how many people every year die from laughter?”
“You’re kidding, right? That’s just a cliché,” Alice said.
“That’s why it’s science,” Rabbit said.
“What?”
“Don’t you get it? The physical laws of our land are governed by clichés. Why else do you think reading is so dangerous?” Rabbit turned to everyone else and said again, “Come! Let’s read!”
The man with the grey ponytail stood up, ran to their village of huts and cottages, and came back seconds later carrying a burned piece of paper covered with plastic wrap. The other men rubbed their hands together and licked their lips with anticipation.
“I thought you said reading’s dangerous,” Alice whispered to Rabbit.
“It is,” Rabbit replied. “That’s why when we found this scrap that survived the book burning, our elder who is the only one among us who knows how to read, risked his life to see if there were any life-threatening clichés on the page. Fortunately, there weren’t any. So we know it’s okay to read. But don’t tell the queen. She’ll cut off our heads!”
“You mean—” Alice dragged her finger across her neck making a cutting sound.
“No,” Rabbit said. “I mean—” He lifted up the tip of his penis and dragged a finger across it making a cutting sound.
Alice cringed.
The men chanted, “Story time! Story time! Story time!”
The grey-haired elder delicately removed the plastic wrap.
Rabbit nudged her. “Get ready. This is really arousing.”
“Okay,” the pony-tailed elder said and began to read. “ ‘Non-disclosure agreement. This agreement, the ‘Agreement,’ is entered into on this blank day of blank by and between blank, located at blank, the ‘Disclosing Party’, and blank with and address at blank, the ‘Recipient’ or the ‘Receiving Party’.’ ”
“You gotta be kidding me.” Alice noticed the men were staring wide-eyed, their breathing getting heavier. “This isn’t a story,” Alice said to Rabbit.
“Shh!” Rabbit said.
Most curious indeed! Was there some cliché about contract law that made law sexy in this wondrous land? She couldn’t think of any such cliché.
Alice sucked in a breath when she suddenly remembered she had something a hell of a lot more exciting than contract law.
“I hope it’s still here.” Stuffing her hand in her pocket she found what she was looking for. Yes!
The Story of O!
“Stop! Stop!” Alice shouted. “I have a much better story to read you!”
The men talked all at once. “Better than
The Non-Disclosure Agreement
?” and “Does it have any life-threatening clichés in it?” and “You can read?”
“This is MUCH better than
The Non-Disclosure Agreement
and no, there are no life-threatening clichés in it.” Alice waved the book over her head like a trophy.
“What’s it called?” Several men wanted to know.
Alice read the title aloud, “It’s called
The Story of…
” That was strange. The title changed.
“Stupid title,” one man said.
“Yeah, kind of leaves you hanging,” another said.
“No—” Alice stared at the cover. “I didn’t finish reading the full title. It’s just…the title changed.”
“Read the full title, already,” a man whined.
“It says,
The Story of OMH
."
“Oh, now that’s a good title!” One man cried quite pleased.
Alice opened the book and began to read aloud. “ ‘Old Mother Hubbard lived in a cupboard…’ “
“What’s a mother?” One man asked.
Alice was in a haze. The words had completely changed and they didn’t know what a mother was? “Don’t you have parents?”
The men looked baffled.
“A mother is a woman, okay? Like the queen. Like me. You are all men and I’m a woman.”
“What’s the difference?” the elder asked.
“You know,” Alice gestured to their cocks. “You have…things. And I don’t.”
“Oh! You have a box,” Rabbit said.
“Right,” Alice said. Thank goodness that was straightened out. No need to explain the difference between men and women by comparing genitals, anymore.
“Okay, keep reading,” another man begged.
“ ‘Old Mother Hubbard lived in a cupboard eating her curds and whey…’ ” That wasn’t even how the real nursery rhyme went. She decided to read a little further. “ ‘Along came a candlestick, Jack was nimble, Jack was quick…’ ” Alice stopped, distracted. Lord! Several men around her were fondling themselves, rolling their semi-hard cocks in their fingers.
Alice squeezed her legs together. A little buzz whistled through her body.
She read on. “ ‘Jack jumped over three blind mice. Three blind mice.’ ” Through the corner of her eye she could see their hands move faster. Her nipples pebbled hard from being surrounded by all these turned-on men. She liked the feelings coursing through her. Maybe this experience would lead to orgasm. That would be nice. Who knows? Maybe that’s what she needed to get back to her normal size. Then she could go home.
She decided to give them something to really get turned on about.
Alice pretended to keep on reading, reciting a fantasy instead. “And Jack was a fireman with a yellow slicker and red hard hat. He carried an enormous ax into the burning building. Once inside, he heard a lady’s voice cry out. ‘Help!’ It came from behind a bedroom door. The fireman used—”
“What’s a ‘fire man’?” one man said.
Alice glanced up from her book. All the men were stroking their cocks hard. She snapped her head back down to the book she was no longer reading, feeling more than just her face grow hot.
“You know.” She squirmed in her seat. “A man that puts out a fire.”
“Like Rabbit!” another man said.
“What?” Alice said without looking up.
“Rabbit is in charge of putting out the fires,” the voice of the elder said. “Please. Continue.”
So Alice did. “The fireman opened the bedroom door, but as soon as he entered, burning beams collapsed behind him, blocking their exit! Without a moment to lose, the fireman went—”
“Stupid name,” someone said.
“What?” Alice asked again, keeping her eyes in the book.
“If he puts out fires, why do they call him a ‘fire man’? Why don’t they call him a ‘fire-out man’ or a ‘no-fire man’?”
The others sounded as annoyed by the comment as Alice felt. They said, “Shh!” and “Quiet!” and “Let her finish!” and “She can read!”
The elder said, “Just replace the word ‘fire man’ with ‘Rabbit’. Please. Continue.”
Alice nodded to herself. “Well, the fire…
Rabbit
went to the window and shouted down to the other…rabbits. He called out to them, ‘There’s a lady trapped up here, but we’re out of harm’s way for now. We’ll wait for you to put out the fire and come get us,’ He turned to the lady and was startled to see she was his high school sweetheart Sarah. Not only was he surprised to see this woman he had loved just a few years ago, before she had left town to go to university, but he was also surprised at how beautiful she still was. Even more than he remembered. She wore a white blouse with powder blue buttons and a navy blue skirt. ‘Rabbit,’ Sarah said, for she had recognized him, too. ‘This is an odd place for a reunion date, don’t you think?’ She tried to smile, but Rabbit saw the worry in her eyes. ‘Don’t worry, Sarah,’ Rabbit said. ‘Help is on its way and afterwards I’ll show you a reunion date you’ll never forget. Meanwhile, we got to keep the door closed and the smoke out.’ Rabbit closed the door. Sarah said, ‘Oh, Rabbit! I’m so scared!’ She hugged him tight, pressing her breasts into his chest. Then she laughed, saying, ‘You know what? I’ve always had a fantasy of being stuck in a room with a firem-…a rabbit.’ Rabbit looked down at her in his arms. Her white blouse was unbuttoned to the lace of her bra. And—”
“What’s a ‘bra’?”
If Alice wasn’t mistaken, the voice sounded like it came from the same guy who interrupted her before. She waited for the others to tell him to shut up, but no one seemed to protest his question.
“You know,” Alice said, keeping her eyes averted from their busy hands. “The garment that holds up a woman’s…breasts.”
“Are you wearing a ‘bra’?” another asked.
Alice pursed her lips. “Yes.”
Voices called out. “Show us!” and “Yes! Show us!” and “I want to see what one looks like!” and “She reads quite well!”
“No!” Alice laughed.
“Please?” and “Pretty please with a cherry on top?” and “Quiet, Fox! You don’t even know what a cherry is!” and “Pretty sure it’s a writing implement!”
Alice thought about how odd her refusal was. Here they were, naked all day every day, and she was embarrassed to show them the equivalent of a bathing suit top?
“Fine,” Alice said, still not looking at them. She took off her white apron by reaching behind her waist and neck to untie the lace. After setting the apron on the ground, she pulled the puffed, blue sleeves of her dress down below her breasts. “This is a bra.”
“Thank you,” the elder’s voice said. “Please. Continue.”
Alice wondered why they didn’t ask to see her breasts. Surely they were like Rabbit in that they hadn’t seen a woman’s chest before. But as Alice looked down pretending to read, her white bra and cleavage in full view of these naked men, and her nipples poking against the cotton, she was glad they didn’t ask her to reveal more of herself. She felt exposed enough as it was.
“So Rabbit saw the lace of Sarah’s bra, and her short skirt revealed her long, smooth legs. Rabbit looked into Sarah’s deep brown eyes and then kissed her hard.”
Alice noticed the men’s hand movements with her peripheral vision. They were stroking their cocks with such speed! Alice wanted to look directly at them, wanted to see their sighing faces and compare their lengths and thicknesses. The idea of all these men! She felt an itch that needed scratching. Alice let her legs drift apart and rested her free hand on her dress between her thighs to apply a little pressure on her sweet spot.
“Rabbit put a hand on her bottom,” she continued, “to press her body closer to him, closer to his hard…thing between his legs. Rabbit put his other hand on her breast and squeezed it through her blouse.”
Talking about Rabbit this way while he sat right next to her stroking himself was more than she could handle. Alice tried to be subtle about lifting the fabric of her dress so that her finger had direct access to her itch. She used the book to hide her hand sliding down her panties. The men were panting all around her, pumping their pricks with their hands. It was like being surrounded by primal magnificent beasts in heat.
Alice slipped a finger through her folds and found her desperate clit that yearned for—something.
“Rabbit took hold of each lapel on her blouse and yanked apart Sarah’s blouse, the buttons spilling like broken pearls to the floor. With a heaving bosom, she reached for the back clasp of her bra and let it fling off her breasts. Rabbit planted a full mouth over her nipple and sucked on it. She stuck her hand down his pants and grabbed a hold of his thing. ‘Stick it inside me,’ she moaned. Rabbit took off his slicker coat, revealing a full, well-built chest of hair.”