Alien in the House (53 page)

“I heard Edmund killed himself,” Lydia replied. “Not that I'm suggesting that you think suicide is appropriate for children to know about, either.”

There was something different about Lydia, and it wasn't mourning, because she didn't seem to be. She seemed more . . . aggressive than I was used to. She was a political animal, of course, but I'd only seen the “here with my husband” side of her. Found myself wondering if Eugene had actually acted as a restraint on her real personality.

I was preoccupied with thinking about the “new Lydia” so I didn't respond. She didn't seem to care. “But anyway, Guy, could we get something to drink, please?”

“Of course, my dear. Ambassador, dear Lillian, please excuse us.” Gadoire ushered Lydia off. Wondered where Vance was and if he was aware that his husband seemed to be moving Lydia into their marriage. Or maybe Lydia was moving herself into Vance's marriage.

“Abner, be a love and fetch me something nice,” Lillian said. “You know what I like.” He smiled, kissed her cheek, and trailed after Gadoire. Lillian turned back to me. “You have a request, Ambassador. So let's save the time and you tell me what it is that I can do for you. I'll speak for Guy on this one, too. We've already chatted, right after your late night calls to both of us.”

“Sorry about that, I'd lost track of the time. But, um, how did you know I have a request of any kind?”

She laughed softly. “You're very new at this. But I understand—it's awkward, the first time you need to reach out to your friends for help, the first time something seems beyond you.” She took my hand in hers. Managed not to flinch, was relieved there really was no electrified joy buzzer in her palm. “We're here for you.”

Focused on the goal, which was to prevent a lot of horrible things from happening. “I need you two to use your influence to help kill all the bills going through the House and Senate right now. Preferably before Congress officially starts the new session in January.”

She laughed louder. “Is
that
all?”

“They don't have to die completely, but there are clear anti-alien lines in all of the bills that need to be removed, so the bills have to go back to committee or die.”

“I see. And, just what can American Centaurion do for us in return?”

This was the part I was dreading. “I have no freaking idea. But I'll bet you do.”

She smiled again and this time there was no mistaking it—Joker Jaws was in the house. “Oh, yes, I do. So does Guy. We'll think on it, and let you know. Somewhere before January third.”

“Super. Thanks. I think.”

She squeezed my hand, gently. “You'll get used to it. We do something for you, you do something for us, quid pro quo. After a while, you won't feel dirty about it.” She looked around. “Is that Clifford? Haven't seen him in at least a week.”

She sailed off toward Cliff, who spotted her coming and looked around for an escape route. He was too slow and she cornered him. Abner, Gadoire, and Lydia joined them. Nice to know I was dismissed until they'd determined what they could get out of us. Problem was, I knew they were going to get a lot.

Watched the four of them talk to Cliff. He definitely looked surrounded by barracuda. Looked around for where Nathalie was. Found her in the group Jeff was with. She looked like she was barely holding up. Jeff was on one side of her, Reader was on the other. Got the feeling they were protecting her, which I was more than fine with.

Chuckie joined Cliff and the Barracuda Brigade. Had to figure Cabal of Evil was no more, at least for now. Cliff looked relieved to have the support. Couldn't blame him.

Everything seemed calm, but we hadn't stopped anything or anyone. We had some information, we had some dead bad guys, we had more questions than answers. And we had people still missing. Most missing of all, of course, were the Master and Apprentice. With Raul and Clarence both dead, our chances of catching the Master were slim, at least right now. But one of the Apprentice Wannabes might be here.

Looked around. Lots of people, but one I'd gotten used to was missing. Supposedly Buchanan was going to be awake and with us. But I didn't see him anywhere. “Malcolm, I could really use someone to talk to,” I said under my breath.

“Missus Chief, I thought you'd never ask.”

S
PUN AROUND
to see Buchanan there. Didn't think about it, just gave him a big hug. “You're okay!”

He laughed and hugged me back. “Yes, I am. And now the rumor mill has a great story, too. Can't wait for your husband's reaction to this.”

“He's a little busy right now.”

“And you're not enjoying Baby Chief's party. I know I've missed a lot.” His eyes narrowed. “Doctor Hernandez explained that I've lost thirty minutes. He's briefed me somewhat, but I know there's more going on than I know about.”

“Where's Colonel Hamlin?”

He shook his head. “I remember that I left the Embassy with him because he had proof of the whole Mastermind idea somewhere. If his intel was good, I was going to hide him. If it wasn't, I was going to arrest or kill him.”

“And?”

“That's it. So I figure we got hit pretty close to when we left the Embassy. We were in my car. I don't know that it's been recovered.”

“Yet another problem for another day.” Considered what else we could do. Besides give up and just become like everyone else here and not even care when people dropped dead next to us if that meant we could make a political “in”. “What's wrong with this picture?” I asked aloud.

I'd meant my current situation, but Buchanan didn't take it that way. He scanned the room. “Nathalie Brewer—first impression would be that you should be worried that she's after your husband. Closer look says that she's emotionally upset and using him as a shield, and that he's aware of this and okay with it. Which I assume means you're okay with it.”

“Yeah, that's pretty accurate. What else is wrong?”

He scanned some more. “The Secretary of Transportation isn't being gregarious. It's clear he hates being here, and he hates everyone who's associated with the A-Cs in any way. He's barely able to hide it, which is a change from a few months ago, when he didn't appear to know you all existed.”

“Or that he was sleeping with an android. What else?”

Buchanan looked at the group around Cliff and Chuckie. “It's a Washington Wife class reunion here, isn't it?”

“Yeah, well, other than the ones who are dead. But I know what you mean.” Couldn't wait to tell Buchanan that I was about to make a deal with Joker Jaws and Pepé Le Pew. That would be more pleasant than telling Jeff or my mother, though.

He cocked his head. “Is one of those women Lydia Montgomery?”

“Yes.”

“Doctor Hernandez said Eugene killed someone and then was killed by an assassin. She's not acting like anyone near her has had so much as a hangnail.”

“She's spent every night since his death with Gadoire, too. Supposedly because she couldn't be left alone.” And Clarence said that “she” had used the easy resource at hand, and since it had worked the boss might be impressed, but only because the others had failed so badly.

The Dingo had told me to figure out who benefited from Eugene's being arrested for murder. But maybe the proper question was who benefited if Pia Ryan was out of the Apprentice Wannabe Race. Or perhaps, the answer to all my questions was going to boil down to the same person.

“Malcolm, are you really a hundred percent?”

“Other than those missing thirty minutes and all the time I was asleep, yes.”

“Great. I need you to get a search warrant, as fast as possible. Call the K-9 guys, and take them with you.”

“Where are we going?”

“To the murderer's house.”

B
UCHANAN MADE HIS CALLS.
Even on Christmas Day, the P.T.C.U. could score a warrant in under five minutes. Sent him off with four Field agents grabbed at random—didn't like the idea of losing Buchanan since we'd only just gotten him back. They were meeting up with the K-9 squad and heading to the house in question.

Had some time to kill, and I wanted some muscle with me. All I'd use normally were occupied. Found Rahmi and Rhee and gently dragged them away from the Little Theater troop's rendition of
The Princess and the Frog
.
Gave them some instructions which they seemed clear on.

Still didn't see Vance anywhere. Sent him a text. Discovered he was sulking in his room because he and Gadoire had had a huge fight about Lydia. Told him the game was afoot and to get his butt down here and fight for his man. Refrained from asking him why he'd want to fight for Gadoire—people couldn't help who they loved.

The princesses and I joined the group with Chuckie and Cliff. “Hey, I'd like to introduce you to Princesses Rahmi and Rhee.”

The princesses bowed. “We are honored,” Rahmi said.

Did all the introductions, the princesses bowed to everyone again in turn. “They come from another planet. Different from Jeff's planet.”

“Oh?” Culver said. “How interesting.”

Cliff and Chuckie were giving me “WTF?” looks. I ignored them. “On their planet, they have strict rules about murder. So I've been trying to explain to them why we haven't punished anyone for Santiago's death. Or Edmund's. Or Eugene's.”

“Eugene was punished for Santiago's death,” Lydia said with a sniff that I was sure was supposed to sound like she was a second away from breaking down. Couldn't speak for anyone else, but I didn't buy it.

“Actually, I think he was punished for something else.”

“What's that?” Gadoire asked, as Vance joined us.

“Eugene was a bad boy, wasn't he? I mean, he seemed like this nice, normal guy. But he was cheating on his wife with a former supermodel.”

“That was over,” Lydia snapped.

“Funny, three days ago you said you didn't know about his affair with Nathalie. So I'm betting you did, and while it was going on, too, not just after it was over. After all, you're not a stupid woman. So I'm also betting you knew that, once Nathalie had broken their affair off, Eugene took up with someone else in the group. Pia Ryan to be exact.”

“We barely knew her and my personal business is none of yours.”

“It is when you murder people in my home. Then it becomes all my business. There's a lot of murder going on right now—lots of representatives dead, and everyone's just acting like it's business as usual. But the way Santiago was killed, that was showy. In a really bad way.”

“What does that have to do with me? Other than my husband being shot in your driveway?”

“Why the phony outrage, Lydia? That's exactly what you wanted to have happen.”

“Kitty,” Cliff said in a warning tone, “be careful with what you're saying.”

“Why? See, I'm just a nosy person. Can't help it. Always been a failing. So when someone I care about gets murdered, I just sort of have to find out why. Pathological, really. Just had to dig into what the hell was going on. And while I dug, something kept bothering me, over and over again.”

“What was that?” Abner asked. Was sure he thought I was going nuts and he was baiting me. Worked for what I wanted, so I was good with it.

“Well, all the things Eugene told me before he died.” Lydia stiffened but didn't speak. I continued. “He'd been set up by Pia Ryan to kill Edmund because Pia had convinced Eugene that Edmund was a robot.”

No one in this group snorted or even looked shocked. Not a surprise, really. “That rumor's been around for a while,” Culver said. “Not about Edmund, just in general.”

“I'll bet it has. I can buy Pia using Eugene to help her kill off someone. But what I can't buy is that she'd do all the work to get him primed and ready, and believing that there were many more ‘robots' out there, and then set him up to be caught red-handed.”

“This is truly farfetched,” Lydia said, with a little laugh. “But do go on.”

“Someone quite wise in the ways of murder and killing suggested I ask not just why Santiago, accidentally standing in for Edmund, was killed in such a public and showy way, but to find out who would benefit from Edmund's death, or from Eugene's capture.”

Lydia gasped. “Nathalie's benefiting. Do you think she's the one who did this?”

“Not really. She isn't power-hungry, and she doesn't want to be a politician. For her, this is all a loss. Because her husband forgave her for her affair and their marriage was stronger now. No, I think the person benefiting from Edmund, Eugene, and Pia dying is the person who hasn't forgiven one affair, let alone two.”

“What do you mean?” Abner asked. This time he sounded interested.

“You mean you think it's Lydia,” Vance said. “I mean, she's power-hungry, her husband was cheating on her, and she's vying for the job as Ap—ouch!”

Rhee stepped on his foot. “I am so terribly sorry,” she said politely. Cliff and Chuckie both had their phones out and were texting like mad.

“There's a backroom power struggle going on.” Well, that was easier than doing the whole Sith Lord explanation, and it was still accurate. “In order to curry favor with the big boss, lower level lieutenants have to do things, including kill off people the big boss wants out of the way. They're in competition with each other for the right-hand man slot. Pia and Lydia were two of these lieutenants.

“Lydia has no love for Eugene any more—he's not interested in her Washington career and cheated on her with a woman far more attractive than she is. She's got no love for Nathalie Brewer, either, who she can conveniently blame Eugene's straying on. And then Eugene takes up with Pia Ryan, who is also prettier than Lydia and who is also Lydia's rival for a position she really wants.”

“How dare you accuse me of anything?” Lydia snapped.

“It's pretty easy. You're not exactly acting like you're mourning. You're celebrating, and I don't think it's because my daughter just turned one. You saw a chance to turn the tables on everyone and have your cheating husband kill the husband of his first mistress, ensuring that his current mistress would fall out of favor with the big boss.”

“You have no proof of these ridiculous claims. I'll sue you for defamation.”

“The press is eyeing us,” Cliff said in a low voice. “I'm going to get them out of here.” He headed off.

“That only works if you're not found guilty.” Looked at my watch. “And, I'm betting that in about fifteen minutes, you're going to be found guilty.” I looked at Gadoire. “Or you are.”

“Excuse me?” he sounded shocked out of his mind.

“I'm not sure if she's been staying with you all this time because the evidence is at her house, or if she's been staying with you because the evidence is being planted at your house. If I were a betting girl, which I am, I'd say your house. Which is why we got more than one warrant.”

“It's Christmas Day,” Lydia snapped. “There's no way you could get a warrant that fast.”

Chuckie's phone beeped. “Gotten that fast and then some,” he said. “Police in Silver Spring just finished searching Pia Ryan's house. They found no arsenic, but they did find botulism toxin, in packets identical to the one I found on Eugene after he poisoned Santiago.”

His phone beeped again. “D.C. police just finished searching Gadoire's place. There's a small stash of arsenic and some other very suspicious things. Heading to the Montgomery house now. I wonder what they'll find?”

He pulled handcuffs out of his inner pocket. “Lydia Montgomery, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder and conspiracy.” He slammed the cuffs on her, then pulled out another set. Sometimes I wondered how he carried all the metal and still seemed to saunter everywhere.

“I want my lawyer,” Lydia said.

Chuckie smiled. “I'm not taking you to the police. You're going somewhere much more special. But you won't be alone. Guy Gadoire, you're under arrest on suspicion of murder and conspiracy.”

“Chuckie . . . one moment before you put those cuffs on.” I looked at Gadoire. “Guy, will this arrest cause issues for you?”

“Hell, yes,” Vance answered for him. “Being arrested for something cool or acceptable, that's one thing. Being arrested for murdering a bunch of people because you were sleeping with Lydia Montgomery? That's career death.”

Guy looked panicked. “Please, Mister Reynolds, you have to believe me—”

I put up my hand. “Chuckie, I'd take it as a deep,
personal
favor if you'd wait to arrest Guy until we're a hundred percent
sure
that he was involved in any way. Nothing I found suggested it. And I'll take complete responsibility for him, too.”

Chuckie and I had known each other since we were thirteen. He knew what I was trying to tell him when I stressed those two words. He nodded slowly and put the cuffs away. “Don't leave town,” he said to Gadoire. “You're still a person of interest.”

Gadoire sagged with relief. “Person of interest is cool,” Vance said reassuringly.

“Oh, good. Guy, a private word, just for a moment?” He nodded and staggered a couple steps away with me. “Lillian said that you knew why I was calling last night.”

“Yes, you need a favor.”

“I need a huge favor, Guy. I need all the bills going through the House and Senate killed or sent back to committee, and I need that to continue to happen until every one of them has the anti-alien wording removed. And it has to happen before January third. I'll be happy to tell you exactly what needs to come out of each bill if necessary.”

“Not necessary at all, my dove. I'm happy to do this favor for you.” He glanced at Chuckie. “Especially since you have gone out of your way to defend and protect me.” He turned back to me. “Did she really do all that?”

“And more. I'd like you to be checked out by our Embassy doctor, to make sure she didn't, ah, do something to you.” Like turn him into an android. “But, first, Guy, can I count on you? As in, you're doing this for me out of the goodness of your heart, and not because you expect any kind of payback from me or anyone else connected with American Centaurion later?”

“Absolutely, my dove. Absolutely.”

“Wonderful.” Motioned for Rahmi and Rhee to come over. “Please escort our friend down to the Great Tito and ask him to ensure that all is right with Monsieur Gadoire.”

They hustled Gadoire off and Vance went along. I went back to Chuckie, who was handing Lydia off to Kevin and a nice complement of Field agents. Cliff rejoined us, too. “Press is all gone,” Cliff said. “Moved off for your sake, not hers.”

“Police are on their way,” Chuckie said. “We can get back to Jamie's party now. But, before we do, how'd you figure it out?”

“Someone helped me figure out what was wrong with the picture.”