Aligned: Volume 2 (10 page)

We continue for half a mile before we start jogging. Her breathing increases to more of a pant. Every other step, she scrunches her face in a wince as her right foot hits the ground. Instead, she tries to hide it. So I push her. “Is that all you got?” I say, not at all out of breath.
 

“No,” she says between pants. She increases her speed again. I follow. Now, she winces and a slight grunt escapes her lips at each step. We keep running. Her previous impeccable form is now sloppy. Each step takes more energy than the next. I know that look. She won’t last much longer, although she’s made it much farther than she should have.
 

“I … have … to … stop,” she says. Her body collapses to the ground. She lies stretched out on her back, her chest the only part of her moving as the exertion she just put her body through causes her to take deep breaths.
 

I lie down next to her. My breathing is back to normal in seconds. Her breathing takes longer to return to normal. I feel the sun begin to come up as we continue lying here. I know soon the beach will start to fill with other runners, but I don’t rush her.
 

“Well, we know one thing for sure. You are a runner,” I say.
 

She smiles. “Yeah, but I still have a long way to go to be able to kick your ass out here.”
 

I smile back at her. “You’ll get there.”
 

I stand up and extend my hand to her. This time, she takes it, and I help her up. I don’t let go of her hand as we walk back to our condo. She limps now as she walks, but the pained look has disappeared from her face. I want to scoop her up and carry her back, but I know she doesn’t want that. So I just keep holding her hand hoping it somehow makes the walking easier.
 

We make it back to our condo building an hour later. We step into the elevator, and I press the button to the eighteenth floor. She moves to press the button for the eighth floor, but I stop her. I still haven’t apologized. I haven’t told her anything. I just need that chance to change her mind. I’ve kept the morning conversation light, just getting her used to being around me again, but now, it’s time to grovel at her feet.
 

“Just give me five minutes. Five minutes to at least apologize so we can part on civil terms.” I look at her expecting more fight, more arguing. Instead, her eyes peer up at me and a faint smile touches her lips. “Okay.”
 

A tear trickles down my face as he flips me over and starts in again. He grabs my breasts and puts all his weight on my chest forcing the air out of my lungs. When I start to drift away, I welcome it. The escape. I don’t feel anything.
 

What in the hell am I doing following him to his condo? I’m going to have a hard time keeping my defenses up if I spend more time with him. As it is, I feel my icy shield melting again, wondering why I was ever mad at him in the first place. Landon opens the door to his condo and walks in. My mouth drops as I look around the large place. I know Landon has money and likes to flaunt it, but I never imagined he lived in a place like this. In comparison, my condo feels like a closet.
 

I glance around the large, open space that looks to be a living room, dining area, and kitchen. Hundreds of people could easily fit in the space.
 

“You must throw some raging parties here,” I say.
 

He looks out at the large open space. “No, I don’t like having people here.”
 

“What? Why?”
 

“I just like keeping my private life private. I throw parties, sure, but not here. The only people who come here are Drew and me. That’s it.”
 

“Not even other women?”
 

He looks at me seriously. “Not any women. Not Caroline. Just you.”
 

I feel my stomach fluttering as he says
just you
. He’s trying to make me feel special, unique, and it’s working.
 

“What do you do with all the empty space then?” I say lightheartedly shaking off the spell he is casting over me.
 

“Nothing,” he says smiling. I follow him to the back and stop at the amazing view of the ocean from the floor-to-ceiling windows. A large deck wraps around the entire length of the floor. I know my mouth has dropped open and my eyes are much too wide as I stare at this amazing place.
 

“Come on,” he says taking my hand as he pulls me up a grand staircase in the center of the open room. We reach the top and walk past a couple of doors. I assume one has to be Landon’s bedroom, and I just hope he isn’t taking me there now. Because if he is, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself.
 

We reach the end of the hallway, and I hold my breath as he opens the door. I hesitantly step inside as he holds the door open for me. It’s a music studio. An incredibly messy, disgusting studio. I laugh because I feel paper and plastic crumpling beneath my feet with each step.
 

“So you’re a slob,” I say in teasing disgust.
 

He shrugs, not looking guilty in the least. “I have more important things to do than clean.”

“You could hire someone then.”
 

“I could, but I kind of like living in the chaos.” Landon pauses while his eyes meet mine searching for something. He sighs.
 

“Come on,” he says grabbing my hand again and leading me out the back door to another smaller balcony. This one is beautiful, tranquil. It has the perfect view of the ocean. Beautifully bright colored flowers and plants surround the balcony, making it feel like a floating garden over the ocean.
 

He leads me to a comfy sofa chair. I take a seat in awe of my surroundings. He holds up one finger. “Just a sec.” And heads back inside. I don’t care, though. I could spend the rest of my life up here and never get bored. I’d never lose sight of the beauty surrounding me. When he comes back, he is holding an old looking guitar and a bottle of water that he tosses to me. I stare at him confused as he takes a seat across from me. I notice his shaking legs, his blushed face, and his uneven breathing.
 

“What …” I start, but he holds up a hand to stop me.
 

“I want to share a song I wrote.” That’s all he says before he starts playing the chords on his guitar. So I just sit back, take a long swig of water, and listen.

You stumbled into my life

A beautiful mess

With fighting words

Not to be messed with.
 

But I kept coming back

Trying my best

To break down your walls

To find a way in

But I can’t help it

When I see you
 

My heart skips
 

I lose my breath

Trying to drink in your scent

It

Could be the rain

Could be the stars

Could be the way your hair

Falls down your face

Could be the cause of my speeding heart

Could be I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t wait to see you

See what more we could be

Just give us a chance

Give me a reason to exist

It
 

Could be the raindrops pouring down your face

Could be the stars sparkling in outer space

Could be your emerald eyes

Could be your stubborn cries

Could be I’ve fallen for you

When he stops playing and looks up at me, he sees the teardrop rolling slowly down my face. He rushes over, concern etched on his face. It’s not a sad tear as he thinks. It’s a beautiful, happy tear because even though he didn’t say anything, I know he wrote that song for me. And as my heart beats wildly in my chest, I know I feel the same way back.
 

He kneels at my feet as he wipes the tear gently from my eye. Realizing that I’m grinning beneath the tears, he relaxes just a little. “Alex, I don’t want just one night with you. I want many nights. Hundreds of nights together. I want to own your body and happiness. I want to be forever connected. I don’t know how to give you more than what I am, but I want to give you more. I want to find out what we could be because this could be everything I never knew I wanted.” He stops smiling up at me. The nerves erased from his face. Instead, his smirky, crooked grin replaces it. “I love you.”
 

I let his words sink in. I know I’ve been told ‘I love you’ in the past. I’m sure Ethan said those words to me. I’m sure my mom said them. I’m sure even Laura has said them to me at some point in the past. To me right now, though, this is the first time. The first time I’ve ever heard those words. As much as his words scare me, I know they are true because I feel the same way. I pause for another second because I know as soon as I open my mouth that I’m deciding my destiny and my future. I’m not just deciding if I want to give Landon a chance. I’m deciding if I’m willing to live again instead of just exist.
 

I don’t want to wait anymore

I love you, you, you

God, she makes me wait for what seems like hours, days before she opens her mouth. Her face has been practically blank as I gave my speech. Even when I was playing her the song, I was having a hard time reading her. The sunlight covered most of her face making her expression unreadable to me. I don’t even care if she says ‘I love you’ back. I just want her to give me another chance. Keep me in her life because I’m not sure I could keep breathing without that chance. I’m afraid if she says no I’ll just drop dead right here. She opens her mouth, but then closes it again. Come on! I take a deep breath and move my eyes from hers. She’s going to say no. She’s trying to let me down easy. I prepare myself for it by taking another deep breath before I let my eyes meet hers again.
 

“I love you too.”
 

Her lips immediately find mine, our tongues urgent to feel the other needing more and more. I tangle my hand in her thick hair to feel more of her as I deepen the kiss. She opens her mouth easily for me letting me push myself deeper into her mouth. I’ve missed her touch, her smell, how her body perfectly conforms to mine. I keep kissing her - practically attacking her with my lips. She doesn’t hold back her own brutal kisses and devours my mouth, making me grow hard with need for her. This is going too fast. If I don’t slow things down now, she’ll end up having a panic attack. And I won’t be able stop when we get to that point.
 

I start pulling back, easing up on the kisses. I untangle my hand from her hair leaving it to rest gently on her neck. I work on increasing the space between our bodies. She grabs my shirt desperate to hold me in place, to keep my body plastered to hers. Her kisses become firmer as her urgency increases. I hold the distance though. I’m not going to hurt her again. I feel her pull my lip into her mouth sucking ferociously. I groan letting myself enjoy one last deep kiss before I pull away from her ending this for now when I feel her bite my lip hard until I taste blood in my mouth.
 

I remember our first make-out session on the beach; she bit me then too. She never asked me to slow down or be gentle. She liked the rough, brutal kisses. Maybe she just needs the pain as I do in order to feel. Maybe we aren’t so different. I know guilt still lingers in her heart about moving on so soon after losing Ethan, but she hasn’t told me everything about her panic attacks yet. I saw the fear in her eyes the last time. I tried being gentle, being someone I wasn’t, and that made the panic attack worse instead of better. She pulls me back to her, sucking my neck as she claws my back. I growl immediately and turn to retaliate by grabbing her neck and pushing her hard against the sofa as I take her neck and suck hard enough to leave a mark.
 

She moans as I do. I move back to her lips pulling them hard into my mouth as I hold her gaze with my eyes looking for any signs of panic or fear. Instead, I see her desire grow as I pull harder on her lip. I release her suddenly, and she lets out a large gasp from the sudden loss of my lips on hers.
 

I know she craves what I crave. The pain, the darkness that makes me feel alive. I just don’t know if it’s what’s best for her. She studies my face and understanding grows on her face as the darkness grows on mine. I watch as her own desire grows in her eyes as she watches me. Both of us breathe even and calm, but my heart is beating wildly. I watch as she moistens her lips as they curl into a grin at the sight of me panting for her.
 

“Mark me,” she says seductively as she runs her tongue across her lip.
 

“What?”
 

“Mark me, own me, make me yours. I don’t want gentle. I want pain, love, desire.”
 

I stare at this incredible woman in front of me. Confidence flows out of her veins as she speaks.
 

“I don’t think I can stop …”

“Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop ever.”
 

“But …”

“It’s not going to happen. The panic left my body the moment you said I love you. I won’t let it back in.”
 

She moves her body forward, tangling her hands in my hair, brushing her lips against mine. Neither of us moves further.
 

“Mark me,” she says again, her lips breathing on mine as the words escape her lips.
 

I grab her then and pull her toward me as I stand up. I unleash the monster. She wraps her left leg around me while she does her best to keep the right one from dragging behind her. I grab hold of the cold metal holding her to me as I tangle my hand in her soft hair.
 

We only make it to the door before I stop and press her hard against the glass door. She lets out a sound that is half moan, half growl as I hold her there while my hand finds the hem of her shirt. I push it up and off her body so I can feel her smooth stomach. My hand makes its way up to her simple black bra covering her small chest. I push that up too until her nipples harden as they feel the warm salty air.