Aligned: Volume 4 (4 page)

I shake my head angrily. “That’s not true! Ethan will not always be a part of my life, and as far as Caroline is concerned, I thought you went to Chicago to end it with her.”
 

“I did. Did you file for divorce while I was gone?”
 

I narrow my eyes at him trying to understand what’s happening. He knows I will file for divorce as soon as I can. As soon as it’s safe to do so.
 

“That’s what I thought,” he says when I don’t answer. He turns his attention back to the raindrops pelting down on our car.
 

“That’s not fair, though. You know I will file for divorce soon. I just need to talk with a lawyer and get it straightened out. It’s not as easy as you think ending something that used to be such a big part of your life.”
 

He turns back to me. “Exactly. Can you really ever end something that has been such a big part of your life for so long?”
 

I bite my lip trying to understand what Landon is talking about. I have no clue. Yes, moving on from Ethan and Caroline is going to be hard. But if we want to be together, isn’t it worth it?
 

I close my eyes trying to calm myself. The only thing left that I thought was mine for sure is slipping away, and I have no idea why. He’s hiding something from me. His words are far too cryptic. Something happened in Chicago. Something changed on that trip. I could talk to Drew. He might have an idea, but he could also just tip Landon off that I’m trying to find out what he’s hiding.
 

Or I could dig the flash drive out the trash. I could see what’s on that file. I could see if that is what Landon is hiding.
 

Father used the drink to wash away

The pain of losing her.

The pain that was just too much to bear.
 

She doesn’t answer me, which just makes me even more crazy inside. She doesn’t deny that it could be hard, if not impossible, to remove Ethan from our lives. I can’t live like that. I can’t be with her knowing that she is still thinking about that bastard from time to time. I can’t live knowing that she probably plans to eventually be friends with him. I can’t handle that.
 

She avoids eye contact with me as she thinks something over.
 

“What are you thinking about?”
 

She just shakes her head. She’s hiding something. I know she is. I just don’t know what it is. She smiled when she saw me, but it wasn’t her genuine smile. Her embrace earlier was tense, scared. Even her kiss wasn’t the same.
 

Something happened while I was gone. I just don’t have time to figure out what it is. Not when I have my own secrets to hide to prevent her from worrying before I know the truth. Not when I should be pushing her away instead of bringing her closer. But I can’t keep myself from wanting her. I can’t keep my hands from touching her body. I can’t.
 

I can’t wait until we get back to our condos. That fight has left us both feeling even more distance between us. I grab and watch her eyes rise in surprise as I lock my lips with hers. She doesn’t resist for long, though; she never can, even when she is obviously mad at me. Just one kiss brings her back to me. It’s one of the reasons she is so amazing. It’s one of the reasons I love her.
 

Our kisses aren’t soft or reluctant. Instead, I kiss her roughly, showing her how desperate I am to have her right now. She attacks me right back. Her tongue thrusts inside my mouth as she lets out a loud groan.
 

My hands find her hips, and I pull her over onto my lap as our lips continue brutalizing each other, punishing each other for not telling the truth. Punishing each other for keeping secrets. How could this ever work when we keep these kind of secrets from each other?
 

Her hips thrust on top of me rubbing me until I’m hard, begging to be inside her.
 

Her lips move to my neck, and she sucks first before biting hard, showing me exactly how she needs it. Rough. Dirty. Passionate.
 

I growl my response as I lift her shirt and find her nipples, taking them roughly into my mouth. Her body convulses at the pleasure running through her body. Her legs dig into my sides as she squeezes my body underneath her. I feel the rough metal of her prosthetic, but it doesn’t even faze me. It just feels like Alex.

I move to her other nipple sucking viciously as her hands tangle in my hair. I want her naked. I want her tied up. I want her screaming in pain as my cock moves inside her. I can’t do everything I want, though, not here in her car. But I can’t wait until later to have her. I have to have her now.
 

Her hands are fumbling at my jeans trying to get them undone. She feels the same. I help her undo the button and zipper, and her hand does the rest. Finding my hard cock, she releases it from the fabric keeping it from her. Her hand moves over me.
 

“Fuck, Alex!”
 

“That’s the idea,” she says smirking.
 

I push her back, and she squeals as I grab at her shorts pulling them down her legs. I’m tempted to rip them to shreds. She deserves it after her teasing, but then she would have to walk into the condo half naked and nobody gets to see her glorious pussy except me.
 

My hand finds her soaked pussy and begins moving over her and working her body into a frenzy. It doesn’t take much at this point to bring her close. I can tell as her hips meet my hand with each movement that she is close. That she needs me inside her now. That she can’t wait.
 

I position her pussy over my cock and drive her down on top of it. We both groan in unison as our bodies meld together. Even in the car where we hardly have room to move, it feels like heaven to be joined like this.
 

Everything feels better being inside her. Everything disappears. The sound of the rain. The dark sky. Caroline. Ethan. They are all just faint memories. All I can think about is Alex. Just Alex.
 

Our bodies move together faster and faster. With each movement, I try to get farther inside Alex. With each movement, she tries to pull me in farther. It’s rough. It’s carnal. It’s just pure need. Need to know that we are both as connected as much as we can despite what we are hiding.
 

But even as we thrust in unison, I feel her slipping away from me. I know she feels it too. It’s on her face. Her face is lost, barely even with me.
 

“Stay with me, Alex,” I say not sure if she is having a panic attack or if her mind is just somewhere else.
 

Her lips find mine, and I bite down hard until I taste the blood that I need to fill my mouth. She moves away licking her lip.
 

“I’m with you, Landon.”
 

I thrust again, and this time, her moan is carnal. It’s animalistic. She no longer has control of her body, which is exactly what I want. I don’t want her thinking; I just want her feeling. I need her to feel every drop of desperation and need that I pour into her.
 

My thumb finds her clit, rubbing fast, and I watch as her whole body changes as she grows close. I grab her hair, pulling hard to give her the pain she needs to send her over the edge, and it sends us both over at the same time.
 

Her body collapses on top of mine, and I feel her heart beating fast in her chest at the same speed as mine. I could stay like this forever. Despite how uncomfortable it is, I don’t care. I want her on top of me like this forever. I want her to forget about secrets and pain and pasts. I want her to forget about what the future may or may not hold. I just want us to be in the now.
 

She doesn’t get my silent plea, though. She pulls up her shorts and falls back into the driver’s seat. I push myself back into my jeans and zip them up.
 

She is fussing with her hair as she stares out at the rain. That is so unlike her because she never fusses with her hair that much. When she glances back at me, I know I’ve already lost her. Again.
 

Her mind is on something else. Not on the amazing experience we just had together.
 

She starts the car back up in silence, and I grab hold of her hand needing her to be close to me. I need her to know I still love her. I need her to know I’m not letting her go. I need her to stay with me.

“I love you,” I say.
 

She forces her lips into a tight smile. “I love you too.”
 

The rest of the drive to the condo goes fast. Not because we enjoy our time together, but because I’m afraid the second we get back to our condos, she will want to stay in hers. Alone. And then I’ll be alone.
 

I can’t handle that. I need more. I need to fuck her all night until I knock whatever is going on in her brain out of her head. I need to fuck her until she can’t think about anything but the pleasure between her legs. I need to show her that she is mine, not Ethan’s. Not anyone else’s.
 

We walk into our condo building side by side. We walk into the elevator together, and that’s when we both freeze. Neither of us pushes a button. Neither one of us wants to have to make the decision of whose place we are staying at or if we should go our separate ways.
 

I take a deep breath and then step forward and push the button for my floor. My eyes stay glued to hers the whole time. I wait for her to push hers as well, but she doesn’t. I sigh in relief when the elevator passes her floor.
 

When the doors open on my floor, though, she hesitates.
 

“Is this okay?”

I rush back to her and scoop her up in my arms. “Of course. I don’t want you anywhere but with me.”
 

She nods as I let her feet touch the ground again. I grab her hand and lead her into my condo.
 

“You hungry?”
 

She shakes her head.
 

“Thirsty?”
 

She shakes her head again.

“Tired?”
 

She shakes her head again.
 

I sigh. I don’t know what to do with this woman. So I lead her up to my balcony overlooking the dark ocean. My favorite place. Our favorite place. The only place I have been able to win her back when I clearly don’t deserve it.
 

I take a seat on one of the couches and pull her into my lap. I hold her and kiss the back of her hair. It feels good to have her in my arms. Almost too good. So good that I’m afraid to lose it again. It’s what prompts me to say the only thing that I think will help keep her with me.
 

“Move in with me.”
 

I feel her body tense when I say the words, but she had to have been expecting that. I’ve already fucking proposed. It’s only natural to backtrack a little, and this is the obvious next step. We shouldn’t move in together, at least not until I can be honest with her, but I just can’t help it. That would also mean publicly living together. She may feel it’s too soon to move in with me when she hasn’t even filed for divorce from Ethan. When those wounds are still fresh.
 

I wrap my hands tighter around her body like that is going to prevent her from deciding to go elsewhere. Like that will convince her to move in with me. I listen to her chest rise and fall too many times before words escape her lips.
 

“Okay.”
 

“Really?” I say spinning her body around so that she is looking at me. I need to see her face. I need to see that she is serious. Her face shows nothing but seriousness. I smile. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I was expecting a fight. I was expecting all the reasons we shouldn’t.
 

“Not here, though,” she says.
 

I cock my head to the side. “Why not?”

She smiles looking out over the ocean. “This place is beautiful, but you share it with Drew. I want a place that we buy together. I want a place that is ours.”

I nod before I kiss her deeply. I’ll give her whatever she wants as long as she stays with me. I’ll do anything to keep her from slipping away including keeping another secret that will destroy her.
 

I stumble backward until I’m pressed against a wall. I pant hard at Drew’s controlling, possessive touch that makes me want him even more.
 

“Wait,” I hear him say as I climb into the limo that was provided for me. I don’t wait I climb into the limo. The concert was long. Far too long. And now, I’m exhausted. I shouldn’t have stayed, but I did. I needed to be with him as long as possible. I needed to see what my future life would be like. I needed to see how my child would grow up. My child will spend a lot of time on the road. I know that. Landon won’t ever slow his life down, but he will give everything to my child. He will give my child money, and love, and everything that neither of us had growing up. He’ll be the perfect father. The father any child deserves.
 

A hand catches the door as the driver attempts to swing it shut. A hand I recognize. A hand I don’t want to see. I’m not ready for this fight. I’m still mad at him for breaking up my wedding. I’m still mad at him for all the rest too. I just need to get to my hotel.
 

Contrary to what everyone thinks, I did not fly to Chicago just to meet with Landon. I have an early morning meeting here before flying back to LA.
 

The door slowly opens, and I see Drew’s intense dark brown eyes staring at me.
 

“We need to talk,” he says.
 

I shake my head. “It’s late. We can talk later.”
 

“No. Now.”
 

I sigh. I’ve known Drew my entire life, and there is no arguing with him. He’s more stubborn than Landon is. More serious. He would make a terrible father. Too serious, too stern. Never allowing our children to have any fun. I don’t envy the woman and children who end up with him. Not that he will have any children. That’s not possible when you don’t even date.