Alive (Mended Hearts #1) (21 page)

Chapter
17

Maisie

Ow, shit. My ear really fucking hurts. Why does it hurt?
Rubbing my ear, I realize that my ear bud has been digging into it. Now I remember why I don’t wear them to bed anymore.

Sitting up, I stretch, feeling refreshed.
I check my phone and see that it’s eleven am. Wow, I slept for twelve hours straight. I must have drained myself more than I thought yesterday. I also see that I have five texts and ten missed calls. All from Jesse. I’m not ready to reply to him yet, though. He can wait a little longer.

“Nice of you to grace me
with your presence,” Chloe says sarcastically next to me.

My heart jumping through my throat, I turn
toward her serious face, waiting for my heart beat to calm down. I think I might have also just peed myself a little.

This is the first time I’ve seen
her since I went home. Before I left, she looked a mess. And now? She actually looks back to normal. It seems that she’s taking care of her appearance again. It’s good to see.

“Can we talk?” I ask, facing her. This could either go
really well or very badly. Quite frankly, I’m scared shitless. Chloe doesn’t forgive easily. I’ve just never been on this side of her before.

“Sure. Whatever,” she replies, shrugging her shoulders nonchalant
ly.

I swallow
the mighty lump that seems to have lodged itself in the middle of my throat before I tell her, “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’ve been a shitty friend. I should have stuck by you when you needed me, not pestered you. You would have told me eventually. I just wanted to be there for you, like you are for me. You just don’t make it easy, is all.”

The serious look leaves her face, being replaced with sorrow.

“No. I’m sorry, Maisie. I know you were just trying to help me, and I pushed you away. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I’m still not, but I will tell you eventually. Just not right now, okay?” she asks, begging me to understand.

“I understand,” I tell her honestly. And I do. Chloe’s always told me what’s bothering her when she’s ready. I just got stressed out
, as it was between her and my brother. I didn’t want the drama. However, I still had it, as I made it ten times worse by falling out with her.

“I should have apologized to you the day after,
but I just didn’t know how to. I was in the wrong, and I see that now. Can we just forget we ever fell out? I miss you, Maisie. I promise I will tell you when I can,” she pleads, hopefulness etched on her face.

“Of course we can! I was going to
talk to you about it over a week ago, but I was too scared to face you. You’re a scary bitch when you want to be, you know?” We both laugh at that.

“I know I’m not the easiest person to fall out with,
but I would never black list you, baby girl. You’re stuck with me forever. Now, come here. I need a hug. It’s been way too long,” she replies, holding her arms out for me.

I leap into her arms, and we squeeze each other like we haven’t seen each other in years. To us, it feels that long. We usually see each other every
day. This is the longest we’ve gone without talking, let alone seeing each other.

“I’m sorry,” we both say at the same time.

As I pull out of the hug, I look around the room, remembering the mess that I walked in on last night. How one person can make so much mess, I don’t know. Chloe’s never been the tidiest, but this is disgusting. I know I said I would clean it up tomorrow, but I’ve changed my mind. I’m not touching any of this. I don’t know what it’s seen.

I stand
up, and to drive my point home, I spread my arms out around the room, indicating the mess. “What the hell happened here? It looks like a tornado hit our room.”

Sheepishly looking down at the mess, she answers, “Yeah, about that… I’ve been too distracted to clean up after myself. And in all fairness, I didn’t know when you were coming back. You haven’t been here for nearly two weeks.”

Touché. Though at the moment, I’m sure even a homeless person wouldn’t want to live here. I’m thinking it would have been healthier to stay with Jesse. Or not… I came back here to get away from him for a reason.

My heart aches at the thought of not
talking to him today. He really is my whole world. Why did he have to go and do what he did?

I sit
down on the edge of my bed, memories flashing through my mind of the things we have done together. We have made so many memories in two months. It could have been so much more. It would be sad to say goodbye to the possibility of not having more. I could have happily spent the rest of my life with him. It’s all happened so fast, but I know he would have made me the happiest woman alive. A tear escapes my eye, dripping onto my cheek. This hurts more than I thought it would. I quickly wipe the tear away before Chloe can see it to ask what’s wrong. I know that if she asks, I will tell her. I need her help so much more than I realized. She’s always given me words of wisdom during my hardest times.

“Chloe, I need your help,” I say, beating her to the punch.

The tears are coming down thicker now, blurring my vision.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? I thought we
were okay?” she asks, coming to sit next to me. Turning to face her, I wipe my eyes to see better, but it’s no use. They fill up again as soon as I’ve wiped.

“We are okay,” I say, my voice gruff.

“What’s wrong then?

Wringing my hands together, I tell her everything.

When I’m finished, I inhale a deep breath, feeling better for spilling my guts to her. I just hope she can help me. I don’t know if she can help with my impending trust issues that I now have, though. No one can help me with that except me. I just don’t know if I will ever be able to trust Jesse again.

“Okay, let me get this straight. You’re upset with him because he tried to defend you?” she asks, looking confused.

“It’s not because he defended me. He went behind my back and confronted her after I told him to leave it. He broke my trust, Chloe. You know that’s a big deal for me, especially after Matt,” I reply defensively.

“I’m just trying to help here,
so don’t get angry with me, Maisie. From what I can tell, he may have broken your trust, but he did it to help you. He wasn’t doing it to make things worse. He loves you, Maisie. He’s just protecting what is his. Any good guy would do the same, and you know that. Would you rather he didn’t say anything to her? Because even I can tell you that she would have done a lot worse than break your cell phone. Don’t give up on him because he tried to protect you. You need to realize what his intentions were before it’s too late.”

See
, this is why I need my best friend. She always makes me see sense. If it wasn’t for Jesse having words with Tiffany, we probably wouldn’t have lasted this long. Tiffany would have found a way to ruin us. Even though she’s acting up again, Jesse would nip that in the bud right away, protecting me. He’s my savior. I just didn’t realize it last night.

I’m such a dumbass.

“God, you’re right. You’re always fucking right. This is why I need you. I need to talk to Jesse now. I have to apologize for how I reacted.” I reach for my new cell. Chloe’s hand comes down on top of mine before I reach it.

“You’re right
. You do need me. Don’t call him yet, though. Let him sweat a little bit longer,” she winks at me, giving a devilish smile.

“
Maybe I will.” I put my hand back in my lap, returning her devilish smile. Jesse can wait a little longer. It won’t kill him. This way, I can spend some time with Chloe, not worrying because everything will be okay later. I’m not giving up on Jesse. No chance in hell. Tiffany’s going to have to do worse than break my cell.

He did a thoughtful thing for me
, and I just threw it back in his face. I will make it up to him later on.

For the next few hours, I don’t touch my cell phone when it goes off
. I leave it; the whole time with a smile on my face because everything is going to be okay.

Chapter
18

Jesse

I haven’t stopped pacing for nearly the whole day. I didn’t get any sleep last night, so today, I’m running on energy drinks and coffee. Lots of it. I’ve got the shakes because I’ve consumed so much caffeine.

I’m getting worried. I haven’t heard from Maisie since she left
my house last night. She isn’t answering my calls or texts. If I get her voicemail one more time, it’s likely that I’m going to throw my cell at the wall.

I’ve thought about going to check on her, especially after the episode that she had last night, but she made it clear that I
’m not welcome. She needs time to think. About us.

Oh God. When she had that panic attack last night, I felt helpless. It was my fault that she was in that position. If I hadn’t
have betrayed her trust like that, none of this would be happening. She would be in my arms right now, possibly making love. My idiotic actions may mean that I never get to hold her in my arms again, let alone make love to her.

Damn it. I’m such a piece of shit.
I don’t even deserve her forgiveness. I’m just like my father; throwing away the only good thing to ever happen to me. I’ll never find anyone else like her for as long as I live. Nobody will ever compare to her. She’s my perfect girl.

Punching my bedroom door out of frustration, I don’t even feel the pain. I’m sure I will later. It doesn’t matter
, though. I should do it a thousand more times. It’s what I deserve after what I’ve done.

Checking the time for the millionth time today, I see that it’s seven
. I’ve still not heard anything from her. Fuck it. I can’t stand around wondering what is going to happen. I have to go see her. I have to try and work things out with her.

I spot
my guitar sitting in the corner of my room, thinking… It could work. I have to try. It’s the only chance I’ve got at actually winning her back. And if it doesn’t work? I don’t want to think about that.

Strapping it onto my back, I don’t think about it anymore. I’m just going to give it my best shot.

When I finally pull up on the sidewalk outside of the dorm rooms, the nerves kick in. My palms start sweating, and my body shivers, not from the cold but from the nerves. I can’t be nervous. I need to be confident. Mentally shaking it off, I pull my shoulders up straight, marching through the doors and up the stairs like a man on a mission. And I am.

I l
oudly knock on the door and wait patiently for my whole life to answer the door.

Chapter 19

Maisie

*Knock, knock*

The sound interrupts our movie marathon.

I pause the movie, and then get up from my bed, dusting myself off. I’m most probably covered in crumbs. Chloe and I have been eating junk food all afternoon. It was deserved after all the cleaning we did.

“Who the hell could that be?” Chloe asks
, sitting up and looking at the closed door like she has some sort of superpower that allows her to see through it.

“I
won’t know until I answer it,” I tell her sarcastically.

Still facing Chloe, I open the door. A smile breaks out on her face. It must be someone for her then.

As I turn to see who it is, my chest bumps against a familiar rock hard one. I would recognize that chest anywhere, all muscle and perfection.

I have to physically stop myself from resting my head on his chest and inhaling him deeply. I settle for a discrete sniff. It will have to do for now. I’ll take full advantage of him later.

Right now, though, I’m playing cool. For all he knows, I still need time to think. I know it’s cruel, but I’m still going to do it. Call it a lesson for hurting me in the first place, even if, in his mind, it was for good intentions.

Slowly dragging my eyes up his body, I notice that he’s still wearing the same clothes from yesterday
, and they are all crumpled. His eyes look tired with huge bags underneath them.
Shit. What have I done? He looks a mess.

He gives me a small smile, like he has no energy for anything bigger. I mirror his smile, not because I don’t have the energy,
but because I feel like a huge dick right now. He doesn’t deserve this.

“Can I come in?” he asks gruffly when I make no move to let him in.

“Yeah… Of course,” I tell him, moving out of the way to let him by.

As he closes
the door behind him, I stand awkwardly, not knowing what to do now that he’s inside. The room seems to have gotten smaller, or maybe I’ve suddenly become claustrophobic.

I sneak a quick
peek at Chloe while Jesse’s back is toward me, begging her to help me. The smile that was on her face when I opened the door has been replaced with worry. Every time she’s seen Jesse, he’s always looked good because he takes care of his appearance. Today? He looks like road kill.

Chloe shrugs her shoulders, as clueless as I am.

Just get on with it and apologize, I mentally scold myself.

“Look, Jesse…” I start, getting cut off.

“Don’t talk. Just listen,” he interrupts, motioning for me to sit down on my bed.

Obeying his command, I sit down on the edge, watching as he pulls something over his shoulder.

His guitar.

How did I not notice that? I must have been so shocked by his appearance
that I failed to notice anything else. Why did he bring his guitar here, though? I’ve never heard him play it before, even when I’ve begged him.

He opens his case up on the floor, pulling his guitar out with care. Chloe and I share a look, both wondering what he’s doing. He doesn’t say one word the whole time
, and neither do I. I’m confused as to what’s happening right now.

Guitar in place on his stomach, he begins tuning.

It feels like forever has passed when he’s finally ready. I’m starting to get fidgety. I can’t take my eyes off of the beautiful man in front of me, who by the looks of it, I have destroyed.

“I know I’ve always said no to
playing for you in the past. I just wanted to wait for a special moment, but I guess now is as good as any. I hope you like it,” Jesse, says, nervousness seeping out of his pores. I’ve never seen him like this before. Where is my confident, cocky man?

He starts to strum his guitar, the tune sounding familiar. I can’t place the song until he starts singing the first verse.

One Direction - Little things. One of my favorite songs, the words are just beautiful, but it’s even better now that Jesse is singing those words to me. And his voice? Wow. He has the smoothest voice I have ever heard. It’s beautiful, hypnotizing me. I’m drawn into him, and I can’t seem to focus on anything else.

Tears well up in my eyes.
He chose a beautiful song to sing to me, letting me know that he loves all of my imperfections.

He stops singing, carrying out the last few notes of the song.

As he places his guitar down on the floor, I wipe my tears away, watching him in silence. Jesse stands up and focuses his attention on me, neither of us uttering a word. I’m speechless. It was the most romantic gesture I have ever witnessed.

“That was so romantic,” Chloe whispers, voicing my thoughts exactly.

Jesse blushes from the compliment. I’m sure he’s never been called romantic in his life, but for me, he is changing his ways. I have to sort this out.

Swallowing past the emotional lump lodged in my throat, I say, “Come here, you romantic fool!” Jumping up from the bed, my arms wide
open, I jump onto his stomach, holding onto him for dear life.

I’m home again. God, I’ve missed him
. It’s only been a day since I last saw him. This is how I know that he’s the one. I want to spend all of my time with him, hating it if I’m away from him for too long.

Tears stream down my face, soaking his crumpled shirt. They aren’t sad tears
. God no. They are happy tears; happy that everything will be fine again.

“God, Maisie. I’m so sorry
, baby,” Jesse says quietly into my ear, his voice filled with sadness and regret.

“Everything is okay now,” I console him.

His grip gets tighter, crushing me. I laugh.

“Do you forgive me?”

“Without a doubt. I’m sorry that I didn’t see where you were coming from. I was just so pissed that you betrayed my trust that I was too blind to see your intentions.” I kiss his neck, giving him more proof that I’ve forgiven him, but also because I’ve missed him; mind, body and soul.

“Thank God!” is all he
says before his lips come crashing down on mine. I’m ready and waiting for him, though. I kiss him back like a starved woman. I am a starved woman. I haven’t felt his lips for twenty-four hours. That’s too long if you ask me.

As I run
my hands through his already messy hair, he deepens the kiss.

I moan from the pure satisfaction I’m feeling right now.

“Ahem,” Chloe interrupts, reminding us that we aren’t alone.

I was so in the moment that I
’d completely forgotten she was here. Jesse puts me down, his arm going around my waist so that there’s still contact.

Looking at her sheepishly, I cringe. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, my face burning up. She must have had a show.

Shrugging her shoulders, a smirk in place, she replies, “Hey, as much as I like sex, I don’t like to watch other people practically dry humping. I can go out if you want to carry on?”

“If you don’t mind?”
Jesse speaks up before me.

“No! This is your room too
, Chloe. We can leave,” I tell her, giving Jesse the stink eye for being so rude.

“No, no
, no. It’s fine. Evan texted me anyway, asking if I want to come over. I’ve already told him yes, so he will be here any minute now.”

Hmm…
I didn’t know that she was still in contact with him. I wouldn’t, though. I haven’t been here for her, so I don’t know who she’s talking to and who she isn’t. I’m not going to lie, but it pisses me off that she’s still seeing him when something is going on with her and Jake.

Trying to hold my tongue on that matter, I smile and nod my head. It’s all I can manage right now. I need a few minutes to process it. I’ll
talk to her later when Jesse’s gone, just to get some insight on the situation.

As I m
ove to sit on the bed, a horn blares loudly. Chloe jumps up, getting her shoes and jacket. It must be the mighty Evan. Then she’s gone, leaving Jesse and I alone to discuss our troubles.

Silence is all that
greets us for a few minutes. We’re just watching each other, neither of us knowing where to start. The silence is making me nervous, so I bite my lip, giving me something to focus on.

Jesse, growls, his eyes squinting. What is his problem? This only makes me bite harder. I’ve always had a problem with that. Sometimes
, I bite so hard, I cut myself. It’s a bad habit, but one I can’t break because, most of the time, I don’t even realize that I’m doing it.

He
jumps on top of me, crushing me and pushing me into the mattress. His lips come down on mine, pulling my lip from between my teeth. His tongue seeks entry, tangling with mine. I lift my hips, rubbing against his hardness.

Our clothes are off in record time, with Jesse resting over me, slowly entering me. It’s slow
, sweet torture.

Starting off slow, he showers me with love, showing me with his actions how sorry he is.

We’re finished all too soon, both of us having a mind shattering orgasm, leaving us breathless. Turning on my side to face him, love overwhelms me. He may have his flaws, but in my eyes, they are what make him perfect.

“Wow,” I say, giving him a satisfied smile.

Laughing, he replies, “If that is what make-up sex is like, we should definitely fight more often.” That earns a smack from me. It’s true; that was probably the best sex we’ve ever had. If I wasn’t so tired, I would definitely be up for a replay.

“We don’t need to argue to have amazing sex. It’s always amazing. Plus,
our arguing doesn’t look good on you. You looked like a bag of shit when you walked in earlier,” I tell him seriously.

“Geez
, Maisie, talk about wounding a guy,” he says, feigning hurt. It makes me laugh.

“I’m being serious. Have you not showered or something? I’m guessing you haven’t,
since you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.”

Giving me his are you serious face, he tells me, “I’ve been too frustrated with myself to do anything but pace my bedroom all day. I’m running on caffeine right now. I’m sure I’m about to zonk out at any minute.”

“Aww, my poor baby,” I say, stroking his face.

Jesse singing to me earlier pops into my head, changing my train of thought.
I melt inside, just remembering it. I smile, hearing his voice in my head, and remembering the way he looked as he played his guitar with so much precision. It was sexy as hell. He is sexy as hell. And he’s all mine!

“What are you smiling about?” Jesse asks, distracting me from my day dream.

What is in front of me is just as good as my day dream; Jesse in all his naked glory. Mmmm…

“Hello? Earth the Maisie,” he says, poking me in the shoulder.
Shit, I must have zoned out again. Get a grip, Maisie. You’ve seen him naked before.
I will never get tired of looking at his beautiful body, the body I want to lick all over while running my hands over his hard pecs at the same time.

“Yes?” I ask, shaking my head to rid myself of my distracting thoughts.

“What are you thinking about that is making you smile like that?”

“Oh, just you singing to me earlier,” I tell him dreamily. He laughs uncomfortably at me. “Don’t be ashamed. It was beautiful
, Jesse. The most romantic thing anybody has ever done for me. Don’t tell anybody this,
but you sing it better than One Direction.
” I whisper the last part to him, giving him a wink.

“Thank you
, baby,” he says, accepting the compliment. Good, because I would have fought him on it. “I’ve been learning that song for about a month now. I was going to sing it to you on our three month anniversary, but I needed to do something to win you back. It was my last resort. Now, I have nothing special for our anniversary.”

“It will be special because I’m with you. I don’t need songs.
They are nice, but I just need you.”

“Come here, you soppy fool.” Cuddling into him, I listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.