Alive (Mended Hearts #1) (20 page)

BOOK: Alive (Mended Hearts #1)
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“Come on then. Let
’s get you home, so I can get back to my girl,” I say, walking out to my mom’s car.

The first few minutes of the journey are silent. I
’m starting to think he’s fallen asleep when he suddenly says, “You’ve got a keeper there, Jesse. Don’t mess it up.”

“I know I
do. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m trying not to mess it up,” I reply honestly. If anyone knows how shit scared I am about commitment, it’s him.

“You won’t mess it up. Just remember, you’re not your dad. And every time that you t
hink you’re going to fuck it up, think of her face and never being able to see it again. It will kill you more than you know. Trust me.”

Brandon never talks about feelings.
Ever. Especially not his own. Which is why I’m confused right now. Is Brandon saying that he knows what it feels like to lose someone you love? He can’t, though… He would have told me if that was the case. Wouldn’t he?

“Brandon…” I say, not really knowing how to put it.

“Yeah, I’ve lost the only person I’ve ever loved before. You wouldn’t think it, but I know what love feels like.” Shit. He sounds all depressed right now.

“Why don’t I know anything about this?” I ask, looking over at him staring out the window.

“No one knows. It’s not something I go round broadcasting.” He’s silent for a few seconds. “You remember when I went to stay with my cousins in Texas last year for a few months?”

“Yeah,”

“Well she was my cousin, Katie’s, best friend. I saw her the second I arrived. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Bright red hair. The greenest eyes. She didn’t look twice at me, though. We all went out one evening, and we started talking. I mean, really talking, none of this shit that I do with the girls down here to get them into bed. I got to really know her. We started spending some time on our own through the months while I was there. I fell fucking hard for her, man. We didn’t sleep together until the second month. You know that’s not like me. I usually sleep with the girl on the first day. I can remember everything about that night even now. Anyway, just before I’m about to leave to come back here, I go to her house to say goodbye and ask if I can see her again. I was willing to keep going down there to see her. When I got to her house, I saw her in the front yard kissing some other guy. So me being me, I went to confront her. Turns out, he was her boyfriend. I mean, I thought we had something, you know? Anyway, since then, I’ve sworn off girls. But you, you have a keeper.”

Wow… What do I even
say to that? We’ve never been the best with talking about our feelings, but I have to say something, right?

“Don’t sweat it
, bro. I didn’t tell you all of that for you to feel sorry for me. Forget I ever told you that, okay? You know I don’t do all that mushy shit.” He laughs, but I can tell it’s forced.

“Are you going to be okay?” I ask, worried for him. No wonder he’s been sleeping around so much more since last year. He’s trying to take his mind off the one who got away.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m still breathing, aren’t I? Plus, there are plenty more fish in the sea, and I’m not ready to settle down yet. I’m a lone wolf, my friend. Now, fuck off and go and make love to your girl.” Brandon gets out of the car, slamming the door shut before I can form a response.

He’s really shocked me tonight. That doesn’t happen often with him. He’s usually very black and white. I can’t just forget it like he wants me to. He’s obviously not handling it as well as he thinks he is. I won’t bring it up again just yet. I’ll give him time to heal, and then I’ll bring it up
, and I will question him about it, because now that I know what’s happened, I can tell he is spiraling out of control.

 

****

 

When I arrive home, Maisie is fast asleep in one of my shirts. She looks too peaceful to wake up, so I carefully get into bed and pull her into my body, resting my chin on her head. Her scent instantly washes away my worries. I’m home now, where I belong, wrapped up with my beautiful girlfriend.

Chapter
16

Maisie

I’ve been back at college for a week now, and I still haven’t sorted things out with Chloe. I’m scared shitless, if I’m being honest. I was going to talk to her after Thanksgiving, but one day turned into another, then another. A week later, I’ve still not spoken to, let alone seen her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s moved someone else into the dorms. I know that she would need my permission for that, but Chloe does what she wants. Plus, she’s made tons of friends since we’ve started, whereas I’ve made none.

I’ve spent every night since I got back at Jesse’s. His mom says she doesn’t mind,
but I just feel guilty because I’m living there free of charge. I’m not helping to pay for any of the food that I’m eating or the essentials.

Jesse doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve decided to go back to my dorm tonight. I can’t avoid Chloe forever. She may not realize it y
et, even if everybody else does, but she needs me. I’ve been the worst best friend. I need to step up to the plate and be there for her. I plan on being true to my word tonight.

After f
inishing up my classes for the day, I head over to Cafe Blanc. I’m in dire need of a caffeine fix right now. I’m sure that if I go another hour without caffeine, I may just get the shakes. I’m addicted to the stuff. It could be worse, though. I could be addicted to drugs.

My cell phone vibrates just as I’m about to walk through the door. Not looking where I’m going, I pull my cell out, seeing a text from Jesse.
As I’m about to open it, someone smashes into me, sending my cell flying through the air and crashing on the floor. A loud crack reverberates through the air. Oh, fuck nuggets, there goes my screen. That’s going to cost me money that I don’t have to repair it.

“Oops,”
a high pitched female voice says in front of me.

Seeing who was rude enough to bump into me, I come face to face with the bitch herself. Tiffany. Go figure. Anybody else would have seen me standing there and said
, ‘Excuse me’, or would have at least walked around me to use the other door. Not her, though. She just loves to make my life hell.

I haven’t heard from her since she threatened to ruin me at Jesse’s
football match. I’d completely forgotten about it too, up until now. She must know that Jesse and I are together, especially as they hang around with the same group of people. I’m curious as to why she hasn’t made good on her promise?


Tiffanyyyyyyyy,” I drawl, disdain dripping off my tongue.

“Maisie, Maisie, Maisie. You really should watch where you’re going
, you know. Some people wouldn’t be as nice as I was. You’re lucky only your cell took the brunt of it. Had it been someone else, it may have been you,” she says, trying to sound sweet and innocent. She’s anything but. She’s the devil. She shakes her head at me in disappointment.

“Well
, I must thank you then,” I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her.

“That is most certainly my pleasure,” she says, mimicking thanking me by taking
off an invisible hat.

Why didn’t I ever punch her in the face?

Trying to stop myself from making good on that thought, I tell her, “Nice to see you as always, Tiffany.”


I’ll see you around, I’m sure,” she says, stepping away and waving at me.

I g
o to retrieve my cell from the concrete, only to watch in slow motion as she purposefully stands on it, the cell cracking underneath her platform wedges.
Fucker!!!
It’s definitely broken now. I’m going to have to buy a new one, thanks to her.

She
gives me a smug smile, grinding her foot for good measure. Breathe Maisie. Just breathe. She isn’t worth jail time. Act indifferent, I tell myself.

Finally, she walks off, flicking her hair over her shoulder
and not giving me a second look. If anybody was to walk past, they wouldn’t think anything is wrong right now. Inside though, I’m one second away from pounding that bitch to the ground. I’ve never felt such hatred toward anyone as I do her.

Salvaging the broken pieces of my cell, I take out the
sim before chucking the rest in the trash. I definitely need that coffee now.

 

****

 


She what?
” Jesse asks in disbelief when I tell him what his little bitch of a friend did.

“Exactly what I just told you she did, Jesse. That girl is a psycho. At least I’ve got a new cell now.” I’m still in shock
, not because she hurt me, because she didn’t. It’s just that what she did wasn’t necessary.

“I’m going to have words with her. I don’t care what you say
, Maisie. This has gone too far. She laid low for a while, and now she’s starting again. She won’t stop. We both know that. I need to make myself clearer this time,” he says, lost in thought.

Again?
What does he mean, ‘again’?

Confused, I ask him what he means. He looks up from the table, obviously not understanding what I just asked. So I ask again. I watch his face drain of color, instantly making me worry.

He takes a hold of my hands, his thumbs rubbing them back and forth. My skin prickles, and my palms sweat in fear of what he is about to tell me. I know I’m not going to like what he is about to say.

“Before I tell you, please don’t be mad at me
, baby. I did it to protect you.” He rushes his words out.

I nod my head. I couldn’t
talk even if I tried; my throat is as dry as sandpaper right now.

“I know you told me not to say anything to her about when she confronted you, but I couldn’t just stand back and watch her destroy you
, baby. Because she would have, and I can’t lose you. I went to see her after I left here, warning her to leave you alone or I would ruin her. I thought I’d made myself clear, but obviously she needs to be told again, or taught a lesson. I haven’t decided yet…” he says, trailing off.

I can’t believe it. I trusted him. We’d only been together a few hours
at that time, and he had broken my trust. If he’s kept that from me, what else has he kept from me? My body visibly shakes, thinking of all the things he could have lied about.

“Hey, calm down. I haven’t kept anything else from you
. I promise,” he says, sounding sincere.

How can I believe him
, though? He also sounded sincere when he promised not to speak to Tiffany, and look how that turned out. He went and pissed on our promise.

I frantically shake my head at him. I don’t believe him. How can I? He knew I had trust issues. Men are all the same. You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them
, and for me, that isn’t very far.

“H-h-how c-c-could you?”
I stutter, my shock flying through the roof right now.

“I’m sorry, Maisie. I really am. You have to believe me, that I did it for your safety,” he replies, eyes wide.

My breathing hitches. I can’t breathe.
Shit.
I think I’m having a panic attack. My eyes search frantically around, looking for something, anything to help me. I haven’t had an episode in so long, not since Matt. I need my parents.

“Maisie, look at me
, baby. You need to breathe,” Jesse says, suddenly crouching in front of me. I look into his worried eyes, feeling betrayed. This is his fault. I’m like this because he couldn’t keep his promise. I knew he was the same as soon as I set my sights on him. I still gave him the benefit of the doubt, though.

Pushing him away
, because I can’t look at him at the moment, I then put my head between my legs. It’s the best thing after a paper bag. Since I don’t have one of those right now, this will have to do.

I stay like this for what feels like forever.
Eventually, my breathing finally calms down, but I’m covered in sweat.

“Jesus, Maisie. That just scared the shit out of me. Are you okay?” Jesse asks. In my panic attack, I’d become completely oblivious to Jesse trying to help me. Looking at his face reminds me of why I had the damn panic attack in the first place.

My breathing starts hitching again, just from the sight of him. I need to leave before I have another episode. I can’t handle another one. I feel drained. I just want to go to my room, sleep, and forget about everything. I’ll deal with it all in the morning when I have a clear head. If I discuss it now, I’m likely to make a bad decision that I will probably regret in the morning. It’s best if I just leave.

Ignoring his question, I push my chair back, standing up
and looking anywhere but at him. “I’m going to be staying at the dorms from now on. I’ll see you tomorrow.” My voice comes out scratchy from my dry throat.

“Wait…”

I pause, looking at him. He looks so stressed. His hair is disheveled, like he’s been running his hands through it for the last fifteen minutes. The lines on his forehead are pronounced from his frowning. I’d make a joke about it if I wasn’t so heartbroken right now.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” he eventually asks.

“I don’t know, Jesse. I need time to think,” I reply honestly. I don’t know what the outcome of this is going to be. I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. Without trust, there isn’t a relationship. It’s the key to a successful one.

“Okay,” he sighs dejectedly. His shoulders slump, his head hanging low.
He looks like how I feel, and I don’t know why, but I feel sorry for him. I shouldn’t, though, not after what he’s done. Except I do. I need to leave before I forgive him without thinking it through.

Not waiting for another word to be said, I leave his house, not once looking back. If I do, I will crumble
and forgive him. I can’t do that. The last thing I want is to be in relationship that ends in heartbreak. I thought my break-up with Matt was bad. If I broke up with Jesse, it would be heart shattering. I would never find myself again. That’s why I need to think before I do something I could possibly regret.

 

****

 

I walk into my dorm room for the first time in nearly two weeks and see that the place is a tip. From the looks of it, Chloe hasn’t lifted a finger since I left. There are take-out boxes lying over every surface, dirty clothes covering the floor, and neither bed is made, which is strange because I made mine before I left. So that must mean…
Eurghh, seriously, Chloe?
I’m going to have to chuck those sheets now. God only knows what they have seen.

Mentally shaking the disturbing thoughts away, I try to fi
nd spaces to walk on that aren’t covered.

I try to change my sheets without touching them. It proves to be impossible. Damn you
, Chloe. I’m going to kill you when I next see you. It’s not a surprise that she’s not here. She was hardly here before I went home. I’m going to have to apologize to her tomorrow instead.

Sheets changed, I go into the bathroom to change into my PJs. It’s no better in here
, either. Oh well. I’ll deal with the mess tomorrow. I’m too tired right now.

After climbing
into bed, I plug my headphones in to distract me from my disastrous day. The tears come anyway. Jesse betrayed me. It may not have been something big, but he still betrayed my trust. For that, I don’t know if I can forgive him…

BOOK: Alive (Mended Hearts #1)
4.08Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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