Alive (Mended Hearts #1) (8 page)

BOOK: Alive (Mended Hearts #1)
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I think I’m just going to tell Jake and Chloe I’m going back to the dorms. I’m not in the mood to sit and watch the guy who I want more than life itself, knowing that I have to let him go before I’ve even had him.

Plopping down next to Jake, I don’t feel the pain that I should have felt in my bum from the force of sitting down on the metal bleachers. Act like nothing’s wrong and you’re just tired. “What took you so long?” a voice says, sounding far away. “Maisie?” the same voice says again. Returning from my thoughts, I face a worried looking Jake.

“Huh?” I ask, not remembering what he asked.

“Are you okay? You were gone a long time, and by the looks of it, you didn’t return with drinks.” I forgot all about getting the drinks after my run in with Tiffany.

“No, I don’t feel very well. I think I might
have eaten something dodgy for dinner. I’m gonna go back to the dorms, alright?” I reply, feeling sick to my stomach.

“Will you be okay walking back by yourself?” My brother can be so thoughtful sometimes. I know he cares about my safety, but I’m not going to let him miss the game just because I’
m having a bad night.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to go straight to my room. You stay here and watch the game.”

“Make sure you text me when you get in, so I know you got back safe, okay?” I just nod. Taking a glance at Jesse, I see he’s really into the match. He won’t even know that I’m gone, which is good. I don’t want him losing focus. For all he knows, I could be in the restrooms, if he looks up and sees that I’m not there. I watch for a few more seconds, and then make my way down the stairs, my heart breaking all over again, just like it did four months ago. My good friend, heartbreak, has made himself comfy on my shoulder again, reminding me that I’ll never feel alive again.

 

****

 

Walking into my dorm room, I slam the door shut, fall to the ground, and hug my knees. The tears are pouring down my cheeks like a waterfall now, fast and thick. The funny thing is that I don’t even really know Jesse. It’s not like with Matt. I was with him for years. I thought he was my forever. I’ve known Jesse for a number of weeks. I didn’t want anything to do with him, but somehow, the tears and pain are just as painful as they were after what Matt did. I should have listened to my mind, not my fucking damn heart. All my heart does is cause me pain. Laughter bubbles up manically out of my mouth. If anyone were to hear, they would think someone escaped from a mental asylum. I sound pretty crazy. Maybe I am going crazy from all the bad luck I’ve had in the last few months. Maybe it’s taken its toll on me, and I’ve finally cracked. I wouldn’t be surprised.

I wish I had never met my beautiful Jesse. That way
, I wouldn’t have known what it feels like to feel alive again.

 

Jesse

 

I noticed the way Maisie came back after half time, looking like the world had just shat on her. Before half time, she seemed so happy. I even saw her cheering a few times. When we came back out after the first quarter, she wasn’t sitting with her friends anymore. I just thought she had gotten stuck in the line for the toilet. I looked up ten minutes into the game, and there she was, sitting with her brother. I breathed a sigh of relief, but that relief only lasted a few seconds when I got a good look at her face. Her eyes, which shined with happiness and affection not a half hour before, were now dull and lifeless. Her skin, which looked vibrant, now looked pale. And her posture, which was confident, was now closed off. She was closing in on herself. I know that look well, except I’ve had years to learn how to disguise it. Maisie, it seems, is new to the game.

When she left the grounds, it took all of my will power not to run after her to see what was wrong. I was willing to possibly ruin my career for a girl who doesn’t even want me
, just so I could take away that pained expression on her face.

For the rest of the game, I couldn’t focus. My mind was constantly
straying to Maisie. What happened to make that dramatic change of mood? Who the fuck upset her? I missed so many opportunities to score, just because I wasn’t paying attention. I had Coach screaming down my ear to ‘
Get your head back in the fucking game
’ and ‘
What the fuck is your problem, Cohen?
’ for the rest of the match. No matter how hard I tried, every time I finally focused, her beautiful distraught face popped into my mind. We ended up drawing one all in the end. No doubt the team will blame me, and I’ll probably be benched the next game. Fuck it. I don’t care. I need to get the fuck out of here and over to check on Maisie.

Skipping the shower, I rush to get back into my clothes. I just have to leave without
Coach catching me. I don’t need him to give me a lecture right now. Stuffing my kit into my bag, I swing it on my shoulder, ready to leave.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going
, Cohen? In my office.
Now.
” Not arguing, I follow Coach into his office. “Sit down.” Doing as I’m told, I sit down and wait for him to tear into me. “What the hell do you think you were doing out there? You let your team down tonight, Jesse. We could have won this match, had you pulled your head out of your ass. Want to explain what has you so tied up in knots that you can’t focus on what’s important?” he asks, crossing his arms and waiting for my answer. Like I’m going to tell him what’s got me in knots. He won’t give a shit. I’ll just get told football is more important than a girl and not to chuck my future away over this. He’s right. Football is more important than girls, but Maisie isn’t just any girl. She has a hold over me after a few short weeks that nobody else has ever managed to do. I’m not about to chuck what could possibly be the best thing in my life away, not even for football.

“Family problems
, Coach,” I reply, lying through my teeth.

“Well
, keep the family problems at home from now on. I don’t want to see that on my pitch again. You hear me, Cohen?”

“Yes
, sir.”

“I can’t hear you. Let’s try that again. I said
, do you hear me, Cohen?” Coach asks, raising his voice and looking me straight in the eyes.

“YES
, SIR!” I shout, staring right back at him.

“Good. Now get out of my office. Oh
, and you’re benched next game until you can prove you’re worthy to be on my team.” I don’t argue. I knew that was going to happen. I can cope with being benched for one game. After I’ve sorted Maisie out, I’ll be back in the game. I’m the captain, for fuck sake. They need me. I grab my bag from the floor and walk out, shutting the door on my way. Checking the time, I see it’s just now eight. Maisie shouldn’t be in bed yet.

As I
cross the parking lot, I see Tiffany standing by my Ducati. Aw fuck. I’m not in the mood to deal with her. Make it short and sweet. “Hi, Tiff. Have fun at the game?” She always comes to every game. She says it’s to cheer me on, though I think it’s just to keep an eye on me.

“Hey
, Jesse. You were amazing tonight. Looked really hot out there,” she says, leaning on my bike and twirling a strand of her blonde hair. I used to wrap that hair around my hands, but it now does nothing for me. I’ll be happy if I never touch her hair again.

“I take it you weren’t watching the game then? I played my worst yet
,” I reply, moving to straddle my bike.

“Well
, you looked pretty good to me, but you always look good to me.” Eurgh, please. Why did I never see how desperate she is? Maisie would never degrade herself like this. She makes the guys work for her attention. I guess I like the challenge.

“Look
, Tiffany. I have somewhere I need to be. Would you mind moving please?” I ask as politely as I can. My patience is running thin now.

“Aren’t you going to the after party? I thought I could catch a ride with you? My friends have already left.” She flutters her eyelashes at me, hoping to get her own way
, I guess. Nope, not going to work with me.

“Sorry. I have somewhere I need
ed to be like five minutes ago. You’re going to have to get a lift from one of the guys inside,” I say, revving my engine.

“But...” I don’t wait to hear what else she has to say. To be honest, I really
don’t care. I drive off, speeding down the road. I need to get to Maisie now. I have a feeling that something bad happened tonight. I just hope she tells me what.

 

****

 

I think I beat a personal record getting here. It only took me two minutes. Luckily, I didn’t get pulled over for speeding. I would have kicked off. I have important issues to deal with.

After k
nocking on Maisie’s door, I wait. Nobody answers, so I knock again, louder this time. Putting my ear to the door, I listen for sounds of movement on the other side of the door. Nothing. I decide to pull out my cell and call her. Listening to the dial tone, I hear a ringing sound coming through the door. I hang up and call back to see if it’s her cell. There the sound is again. Yup, it’s definitely her cell. My heart jumps in my throat at the thought of something being wrong. She would answer the call if everything was fine. I bang on the door this time. “Maisie, open the door. I need to know that you’re okay,”
I ask frantically.

“Go away
, Jesse,” she replies, the sound muffled by the door. No fucking way am I leaving.

“No, not until you let me in. I know something’s wrong
, and I’m not leaving until you tell me what. I’ll kick this door down if I have to,” I warn. I’m not joking, either. I will kick this door down in the next minute if she doesn’t open it.

“Please
, just go. I don’t want to see you.” Ouch, that hurt. I want her to need me. Hearing that she doesn’t want to see me practically guts me on the spot.

“You’ve left me with no choice. I’m kicking the door down in three
seconds. One, two…” The door flies open on three.

Maisie stands there with mascara running down her cheeks
, her eyes red and swollen.
Fuck!
I can literally feel my heart breaking just looking at her. Whoever has hurt her, I’m going to kill them. I refuse to allow anybody to hurt my Maisie again. I check her out to make sure she hasn’t hurt herself. A quick sweeps tells me that’s not why she’s upset.

“You’ve seen me now, so you can leave,” she says,
her voice gruff from crying. She starts to close the door on me, but I put my foot in the way. “Jesse, move your foot. I just want to go to bed.” Her eyes are downcast, looking anywhere but at me.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why do you care so much?” she asks, finally looking at me.


Why do I care? Isn’t it obvious? I like you, Maisie. I like you a hell of a fucking lot, actually. I want to spend time getting to know you better, even though I know you have your guard up. I want to eventually knock that wall down and gain your trust. I know you have no reason to trust me, which is why I want a chance. I saw you return when the game had started, looking like the girl who I first met, like the world had just handed you a huge plate of shit. I want to know who or what took that beautiful smile that I saw earlier off your face. When you opened the door, and I got a good look at your face, all covered with make-up and dried tears, it broke my fucking heart. Please, don’t shut me out. I care about you. So much.” Fresh tears well up in her eyes. Aw shit. I really don’t like to see her cry. “Please, don’t cry.” I ask. I always seem to make her cry.

“I can’t tell you what’s wrong
,” she whispers, looking down at the floor again.

“Of course you can. I want to help you
, Maisie. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, don’t push me away.”


You can’t help,” is all she says. I’m getting annoyed now. How does she know that I can’t help, if she won’t tell me what the problem is?

“Look at me
, Maisie.” Lifting her head up with my thumb, I hold her head in place, giving her no choice but to look at me. “Just tell me, or at least let me be there for you if I can’t help. I don’t like seeing you upset. It’s tearing me apart not knowing if I can help.” Something flashes in her eyes, but it’s gone before I can grasp what it is.

“I don’t want to talk about it out here
. Anybody could hear.”

“Well
, can I come in then?” She doesn’t answer, just stares at me. “Please?” I ask. She doesn’t say anything, just steps aside so I can move past. “Thank you,” I say.

It’s the first time I’ve been in here. It’s pretty bare
, just what you’re given when you move in, along with her and Chloe’s belongings. “So...” I say, not knowing where to start, now that we’ve got some privacy. “Do you mind if I have a seat?” I ask, pointing to the beds.

“Mine is the one with the purple cover,” she says, pointing to the bed on the right.

Sitting down on the edge, I look up at Maisie, standing there awkwardly. My eyes roam down to her lip, which she is biting. I really want to bite that lip. We’re alone in her room, and under different circumstances, I would definitely try it on with her. I’m such a jerk. Here she is distraught about something, and all I can think about is getting her into bed. Think about dead puppies. Yup. That worked.

BOOK: Alive (Mended Hearts #1)
2.75Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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