All At Sea (9 page)

There was a moment in the water when I think Lachie wanted to kiss me. He backed away and laughed and gave my head a little shove because he could tell I’d gotten nervous.
I’m scaring you off, aren’t I? You’ll cave and let me ravish you someday, Millsy. I am THAT irresistible.
Then he swam away looking irresistible.

He’s good looking. Not as good looking as you, in my opinion, but still, he’s nice to look at. And he doesn’t stink. It’s the patchouli and saltwater you’re smelling. 

Wednesday 12
th
March 8.00am

—near Oahu, HI—

Sun’s up again and she’s here. The famous Fiona. Kody’s Real Deal. I’m meeting her and Lachie at Coconut Bay for breakfast. She’s dying to meet me, he says.

Lachie adores her. I can hear it in his voice. He thinks I’ll like her and that she’ll like me. Is it wrong to hope he’s wrong?

I keep looking at the picture of you and her in Fiji and hoping she’s just photogenic. That it’s a case of good lighting and proper angles.

He’s told her all about me, told her all about Millsy Beauchamp, the sweet girl from Kansas City. His little Dorothy from Tornado Alley.

Wednesday 12
th
March 9.03am

—Lei Lei’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

The shuttle is pulling up and they’re standing at the curb waiting for me. It’s not camera trickery. She’s a real Betty and how.

I feel punched in the guts. 

Wednesday 12
th
March 10.16am

—near North Shore, Haleiwa, HI—

Breakfast is over and I am sad to report that it wasn’t terrible. She’s really nice and I hate myself for wanting to hate her. When I stepped out of the shuttle she put her arms around me like she’d known me her whole life. At breakfast she kept looking at me across the table and even though she was excited and wanting to talk about wedding stuff, I could see her glancing from me to Lachie and then back to me again.

She is positively glowing about the wedding. She thinks it’s going to make you so happy. Just a small intimate ceremony now. Her parents, yours, and Lachie. No more decisions about engraved money clips versus engraved flasks. No more looking at silver shoes.

At one point we went to the bathroom. She told me that I’ve done wonders with Lachlan.  He’s so into you, girl, she said through the mirror.

I’ve done the impossible, Kody. I’ve tamed the wild man.

He took my hand under the table when I got back. When I didn’t pull away, he laced his fingers into mine. Even though part of me was wishing it was your hand, it was still nice to have that feeling. I let him hold it on the way out, too. I’m trying him on for size. I don’t think he’s as much of a jerk as you say he is. Plus, Fiona seems to like him well enough. We’ll see how it goes.

Wednesday 12
th
March 11.46am

—Mockingbird Bookshop & Coffeehaus
—

Wow. Another day and nothing. You really did go into the Never Never, I guess. So, I went back to the florist, just me and Fi this time. She’s ordered leis for all of us and a small bouquet for herself.
Do you want to be a last-minute bridesmaid? Hahaha. No, really do you?
I smiled and nodded because I didn’t know what else to say to her. She wants to go dress shopping. For me, not herself. Hers is picked out already. She’s keeping it beachy and simple. 

I feel like a terrible person for knowing more about her circumstances that she does. I grow more and more pissed at you for putting me in this position. I asked if she’d talked to you but she says you’re probably catching up with friends, excited to be back home, eating lamingtons and letting your mum dote on you.

She’s a really sweet girl and she really, really loves you. Each hour you go without calling her, the worse it’s going to be for everyone.

I’m sorry I called her a poodle. To be fair, you called me a pooch first.

Wednesday 12
th
March 9.06pm

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

It’s night and I’m sitting out on the deck with your dead phone in my pocket. I’m drinking one of those beers you like, that Fat Yak. I’m sipping at it and trying to acquire a taste, figure out what you like about it. I don’t think it’s working, though. I figure I’m a wine cooler type drinker and should just embrace it now.

I bought some wax for the board. I watched a Youtube tutorial on surfboard care. You never covered that in lessons. It’s a real beaut. Did you name it? Does this baby have a name? I’ll try to think of a cool one.

I should have given your phone to Fiona or Lachie by now but I haven’t. Maybe I’ll lock it in the onboard safe. I won’t have to look at it that way, but I’ll still know where it is. Maybe I’ll put one of the bead necklaces I’ve made in there, too. If the boat sinks it’ll be like Titanic. Future scientists will look at your phone and hold up the necklace and ooh and ahh. They’ll make up a cinematic, gut-wrenching tale about us.

Wednesday 12
th
March 9.38pm

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Two Fat Yaks down the hatch. I’m starting to get drunk again. Drunk and pissed and sad.

Wednesday 12
th
March 10.15pm

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Well that’s the end of the end of the cell phone dilemma. I just chucked it into the harbor.

Thursday 13
th
March 2.13am

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Sometimes I thought you liked me for me. But I think you think I float around in a bubble of champagne. You’d always circle back to it when we argued, dig at it like a scab. The fucken cruise ship I live on. I picture you picturing me barking orders to a worn-out woman in a moth-eaten dress. “Boil me a pot of Earl Grey! You’re not moving fast enough! It’s so hard to find good help these days!”

I’m not like that just so you know. How we live is not like that.

Lachie’s never said a word to me about it. You’re definitely wrong about him, I think. He doesn’t act like he cares one way or the other about the money. But according to you, the money is all that there is for him to like about me. 

Thursday 13
th
March 3.04pm

—Fitness Center at Waikiki Yacht Club—

I don’t know why I continue to write you. Clearly there is no one listening. I guess this is a journal-to-nowhere now. Whatevs. It’s better than painting my nails, I guess. Or stringing bead necklaces. Or Xtreme Zumba.

Thursday 13
th
March 6.20pm

—North Shore Youth Hostel—

So you want to know about me? No, actually you don’t. You made up a story in your head about Amelia Beauchamp from the beginning. One that made you more comfortable and sure of things. You never asked me anything about myself. Not really. I told you that I like art and books and you never asked me about it once. I asked you a million questions and you asked me none.

Thursday 13
th
March 6.28pm

—Honolulu International Airport—

Hi. It’s Kody. I’m back. I just bought this phone ten minutes ago. I haven’t read any of the messages. I will. Soon.

I’m going to find Fifi first. I have to do that first.

Now. I have to do it right now.

Now.

Thursday 13
th
March 7.15pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

OK I found her, and she told me about the wedding, and she was so excited I couldn’t tell her it was over. I said I was surprised and needed time to think about it. We’re at that place where you threw the drink at me. She’s getting bubbles.

I know I said I was going to call it off with her regardless, and I am, but it would help if I could see you. Where are you? Can you come straight away?

Thursday 13
th
March 7.16pm

—North Shore Youth Hostel—

Yeah, I can come. Pineapple Pete’s, right? Be there in twenty. Welcome back, Kody.

Thursday 13
th
March 7.47pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

OK, so are you with Lachlan? Like, are you with him now? Because he walked in with his arm around your waist. It’s kind of important. Can you think of any way we can talk privately? Can you see me sweating?

Thursday 13
th
March 8.07pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

Yes. I’m with Lachie. I’m in the bar right now with Lachie. I’m ten feet away from you drinking a Shirley Temple that the bartender made for me specially. You’re looking at me as if you’ve seen a ghost while trying to look like you’re not looking. Both our hands are shaking and we’re rudely texting in front of our dates and making excuses to them.

A new client.

My friend’s having a crisis.

Thursday 13
th
March 8.28pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

Your friend IS having a crisis.

Thursday 13
th
March 8.37pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

Fi looks nice, don’t you think? Two days in the sun and she’s golden. Do you like her toes? We went for pedicures earlier. Look how we match. Hibiscus Petal with DuraShine Top Coat. *wiggle, wiggle.* She’s getting a French manicure later this week. She thinks it will really set off the ring.

Thursday 13
th
March 9.10pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

What is going on with you and Lachie?? Why are you being cagey about it?

Thursday 13
th
March 9.17pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

Lachie asked me to be his girlfriend on our way in. It’s been two years since someone’s called me that.  We were standing outside under the palm trees and a Chinese lantern was swinging just over his shoulder. The words sounded nice coming out of his mouth so I told him yes. We get along and have fun and there’s no drama. He likes the kissing, too. He’s good at it. See?

Thursday 13
th
March 9.21pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

I don’t understand what’s going on with you. Why are you being like this?

I’m not kissing Fifi, she’s kissing me. I can’t not kiss her back. I have to a little bit, given the circumstances. But the good news is she was talking about not sleeping together until the big day. I’m not going to sleep with her and then dump her.

But you are kissing Lachie. You are actually kissing him right in front of me on purpose.

I really need to talk to you.

Thursday 13
th
March 9.26pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

And how exactly is the not sleeping together thing going to work? Her bubbles are kicking in and she’s going to be ripping your clothes off within the hour. She wants it bad. It’s been a while. You better switch her to Shirley Temples, like now.

Thursday 13
th
March 9.39pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

Can you stop doing that? Please? It’s physically hurting me to watch. I need to find some way to go back through all your messages because I’ve missed something. Are you with Lachie? For real? After everything I have said to you about not being with Lachie? Can you just tell me? Quickly? Now?

I’m going out on the deck.

Thursday 13
th
March 9.55pm

—Pineapple Pete’s at Coconut Bay Resort—

Can’t come out to the deck, sorry. I’m in the bathroom with your fiancée. She likes to do the bathroom girl-talk thing where we discuss things through the stall wall.

Do you think he’s acting distant? Why would you say that? His energy is off. There’s something off. Don’t worry, it’s normal jitters, I’m sure.